Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't sue.
~Lock Down~
Chapter 4
"Gordo," she says, after what feels like an hour has passed. "What did you mean?"
"Nothing," he says, looking down, away, anywhere but her.
"What did you mean," she repeats, her voice firmer. He has never been this open with her about his feelings.
"You wouldn't care," he says, stepping away from her.
"Yes, I would," she takes a step towards him, another, another.
"You just want to know since it's the only way out of this room." His tone is harsh. He has put up his guard. He was a fool to think she would actually accept his feelings. He cannot see the sadness, the hurt in her eyes. He's only concerned with himself for now. And why not? He's the only one who is. His mom doesn't care, his father doesn't care, his best friend doesn't care, what else is new?
"No," she says. "Is that what you think?"
"Is that what you think I think?"
She has forgotten that when he's angry enough he becomes difficult to talk to. Actually, pretty much impossible to talk to. Yet each time she tries.
"Do you think you know what I think you think?"
He stares at her. She can see laugher behind his eyes, and she is about to break down and laugh, too, but she will not until he does. He has to feel like he's not being laughed at.
"Clever." Sarcasm. Grr. Ignore that. You have to get to the bottom of this.
"I thought so, too." She is keeping her tone cool, but open. See, you can talk to me. I'm ready to hear what you have to say. I'll listen. "I'm just trying to match your wit. I think I'm failing though."
"Yeah. You are."
Keep smiling. Keep smiling. His words have no effect on you.
They are standing a few feet apart. Facing off, though they don't realize it.
"Thanks."
"Yeah. Whatever."
"Why don't you just tell me what you meant, Gordo. We don't have to get in a fight over such a little thing." She is keeping her voice light and soothing. Don't make any sudden movements. He might…do something.
"A 'little' thing? That's what this is to you?" Whoops. Wrong choice of words.
"No, Gordo, I meant a misunderstanding, that's a little thing. I didn't mean –"
"So – so this all means nothing to you? It's all just some little thing that's in the way? You just have to solve this before you can go find Ethan and suck face with him?"
"No. But right now sucking face with Ethan is sounding much more enjoyable."
"Yeah, well why not? You've always liked him better than me, haven't you?"
She gasped, and stared, appalled, at him. "That is so—"
"Haven't you?" He says. "Am I wrong?"
She is bursting to say, "Yes! Yes, you're wrong! How could you ever think that I like him better than you?" But she is shocked into speechlessness.
"I knew it," he says.
"No – Gordo –" She is torn up inside. Stupid! Why couldn't you just have said what was ringing through your head? "Yes! Yes, you're wrong!" Stupid!
"Don't," he says.
"Don't what?"
"Don't say my name. Don't. You just…hurt me when you do."
"I don't want to hurt you," she says softly.
"Yes, you do." He is looking away from her. She can see his eyes, though. They are dripping with pain.
"You have to believe me," she pleads.
"No, I don't."
She bites her lip. There are tears in her eyes. She blinks them away. Not now. Stay strong. Make him believe you.
"What will it take to make you believe me?"
Now he looks up at her. His face looks terrible. He looks miserable and sad and deeply hurt and rejected, dejected, heart-broken—wha?? Heart broken? Then…that means…
"Gordo," she says, a new light in her voice.
He just stares, a defeated, pathetic look in his eyes, which made her heart hurt.
"Do you love me?" she asks.
