Title: A Sunnydale Tale
Author: victoriamartynne
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Spoilers: None.
Summary: In 1998, Angel befriends Cordelia when the going gets tough.
Angel visited her every night when the sun had gone down. Sometimes he brought Buffy but mostly he came alone. He brought her chocolate and ice cream and other treats she insisted she shouldn't eat but she did anyway.
He sat outside her room while she spoke to her psychiatrist and checked to see if she was okay afterwards before he even considered going home.
Two weeks after she'd slit her wrists she left the hospital with her doctor's consent. Angel took her back to the mansion, as her parents were still absent from Sunnydale.
She stepped into the mansion, for the second time, and relaxed a lot more quickly than she had the last time. "Is that my throw?"
He looked to where she was looking. "Yeah, Buffy brought it from your house; I would have gone but."
"But what?"
"You haven't invited me in." He shifted awkwardly.
She shrugged. "Okay, you're invited into my house, will that help?"
He nodded. "I think it might."
"Good."
She went across to sit on his couch. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to do here."
"What do you mean?"
"This is all a bit strange, I mean, I'm going to be living with you for a while and I should be freaked out by that but I'm not. Even my psychiatrist said that I should think carefully before I move in here with you. Is it wrong that I'm comfortable being near you? A man. After what happened I'm supposed to hate men, I'm supposed to be scared of men, but here I am about to move in with you and I should be feeling bad and I'm not! I'm a freak!" She hid her head in her hands and began to cry.
He came across to her and put his arm around her. "It's okay, you're not a freak."
"I'm sorry." She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I seem to be crying all the time."
"I think after what you've been through you're allowed to cry as much as you want."
"But surely that isn't an excuse? I mean, how long is it acceptable for me to cry all the time? It's been two weeks, am I still allowed to cry?" She looked up at him.
"I think so."
"When am I allowed to not feel bad or not to cry or not to want anyone to touch me?" She asked.
"Take as much time as you need. Something bad and wrong has happened to you and it's not your fault, you didn't ask for it to happen. All you need to do now is give yourself time to work through things and let yourself feel better."
"So you're saying I have to take it one step at a time?"
He nodded. "Exactly. Now, do you want eggs or pizza?"
"Eggs could be good." She smiled. "Can you cook?"
He mocked being offended. "Yes I can cook."
He squeezed her shoulder and then stood up. "Make yourself at home."
He went into the kitchen leaving her in the living area. She looked around and spotted a couple of her photographs on the mantle in their frames, one of her parents and one of the Scooby gang. As well as her throw Buffy had brought a couple of pillows and her lamp. She got up and wandered into the room that was to be hers and recognised the sheets and blankets and opened a drawer to see her clothes. She sat down on the bed. It wasn't as dark and dingy as she had expected. Of course, there were thick drapes covering the window to protect Angel from the sun but there was enough light from the bulb.
She picked at the bandage on her left wrist. Maybe that hadn't been such a good idea.
"Cordelia?" He asked from the doorway gently, not wanting to startle her.
She looked up. "Huh? Sorry I wasn't paying attention."
He smiled. "Buffy just called."
"She did? I didn't hear the phone."
"She said that she, Willow, Xander and Oz would call around after patrol. I didn't get a chance to tell her I'd have to check with you. If you don't want to see them I can get rid of them." He looked nervous.
"No, it's your house; you're welcome to have guests." She told him. "Don't mind me."
He nodded. "If you're sure."
She nodded and he went back to the kitchen.
Dammit, she thought, why'd you have to say that? Why didn't you tell him you didn't want to see them? It was just what she needed, Buffy and her merry men coming to look at the freak. What a fun evening she was in for.
She stood up and opened the closet where she found more of her own clothes. She found a pair of jogging pants and a sweater that were more comfortable than the jeans and shirt she was wearing.
"Eggs are ready!" Angel shouted.
She changed quickly and left the room.
After eating her eggs Cordelia sat with Angel and watched TV. She jumped when there was a knock on the door.
"Calm down." Angel soothed and stood up. "It will probably be Buffy."
She nodded and pulled her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs.
He opened the door and the Scoobies and Giles came in. They stood in the doorway awkwardly and then advanced into the room when Angel went back to sit down.
For a couple of moments nobody said anything then Giles stepped forwards. "It's good to see you Cordelia. I'm glad to see you looking so well."
She smiled at his sincerity. "Thanks."
"Do you want to sit down?" Angel asked and motioned to the other chairs in the room.
They shuffled into the room and perched on the various chairs Angel had in the room.
"Did you have a good patrol?" Angel asked.
Buffy nodded. "Five vamps."
Xander seemed fixated on the bandages on Cordelia's wrists. She noticed and pulled the sleeves of her sweater over her hands.
"When are you coming back to school?" Willow asked timidly, remembering all too well that Cordelia deserved to be mad at her after her accident at the factory.
"I don't know." She suddenly looked panicked, she hadn't thought of school. "I'll be, uh, I'll be in my room."
"I didn't mean." Willow began but Cordelia was already in her room with the door shut.
"It's okay; she's still a bit skittish." Angel told her. "I'll go talk to her when you've gone."
"Maybe I should." Xander began but he was cut off.
"I don't think she needs anything from you." Angel bristled. "The way you've treated her I'm surprised she allows you anywhere near her."
He stood up. "I'm surprised she lets you anywhere near her! After what she's been through and she starts to live with a monster!"
Angel stood up and advanced on him.
"Guys, maybe you should save the macho fighting for another time." Oz suggested, making Willow thank whatever it was that made him forgive her for her indiscretion with Xander. He could be so cute and considerate sometimes.
Buffy stood up and stood in front of Xander. "Maybe we should go."
"That might be a good idea." Angel growled, glaring at Xander.
Buffy gave him and quick smiled and shoved Xander towards the door. Giles hung back and spoke to Angel. "Please convey to Cordelia my well wishes. Please tell her not to rush going back to school. She's better off getting healed properly before going back. It could be hard on her as it is."
Angel nodded and closed the door behind them.
It had only been a short visit but it would be a memorable one.
He went to Cordelia's room and opened the door.
She was laid on the bed with the pillow clutched to her chest. She'd ripped off the bandages on her wrists and her sweater had lifted up so he could see she'd ripped off the bandage there too. There were tear marks on her face.
He sat down on the bed and wondered where to start but he was beaten to it.
"How can I go back to school with those on my wrists?" She asked.
"The scars?" She nodded. "Maybe when you're ready to go back they'll be gone."
She shook her head. "The doctor at the hospital was trying to scare me and told me I'd have these scars forever. Plus I have a hole through my side which means I won't be able to cheerlead. Everyone will probably already know about what happened to me and then they'll see the scars and see what I tried to do and I won't be able to hold my head up."
"Cordelia, if any of them have half a brain they'll realise that you've had it tough. And they'll know that nothing that's happened was your fault. Some bad things have happened to you and if there is one person in that building that thinks that you haven't been royally screwed over and that what happened is your fault then they're not worth the life they've been given. And I'll go beat them up for you."
Despite herself she smiled at his words.
He reached out and squeezed her fingers. He frowned. "You're freezing."
She shrugged. "My hands are always cold."
"Cordy, I'm a vampire. When someone is colder than me then that's a problem." He let go of her hand and grabbed the comforter. She covered her in it and tucked it in under her chin and around her arms. "That should warm you up. I can get a hot water bottle if you want."
She shook her head. "But thanks. What does a vampire have a hot water bottle for?"
He smiled. "I have no idea."
"Can I ask you something?" She asked tentatively.
He nodded and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Of course you can."
"Why are you doing this? I mean, we weren't exactly friends before all this happened. Why are you being so kind to me now?"
"I was the one that found you. I could smell the blood on you, and not to freak you out, I could smell the man who did this on you. You were lying in the alleyway outside the Bronze. It was raining and you looked dead. I stayed with you while Buffy ran inside to call the ambulance. I suddenly thought of all the times we'd spent together. You were always vibrant and full of life. You made me laugh. Seeing you there broke my heart. You were so broken and still. Buffy told me what had happened with Xander and Willow. And then with Harmony and your other so called friends. I guess I just wanted to be there for you. You had no-one."
She swallowed back the lump in her throat. "How did you get to have such a big heart?"
If vampires could blush he was sure he would be by now. "Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before."
"Maybe nobody has ever cared to find it out."
"You didn't think I had any ulterior motives about having you stop here did you?" He asked worriedly.
She shook her head. "I trust you Angel, I was just curious. Nobody has ever put themselves out for me before." She ended on a yawn.
"You should sleep." He told her.
She nodded. "It's past my bed time."
"Sleep well; I'll be here in the morning." He promised.
"Don't you sleep during the day?" She asked as he made to leave the room.
"I normally do, but while you were in hospital I thought it would be better if you weren't on your own all day, I changed my sleeping patterns." His hand lingered on the light switch.
"You didn't have to do that." She told him.
"I wanted to." He assured her and flicked off the light. "I'll be next door. If you need me shout."
She nodded. "Thanks."
The next morning she woke up to eggs, as she did for the next week. By then she decided to teach him how to cook something else if he insisted on cooking her breakfast, which he did.
"How about beans on toast?" She suggested one night as they sat watching television.
"No beans." He told her. "Or bread."
"You do have a toaster though, right?" She asked hopefully.
He shook his head. "I have the grill in the cooker though."
"Thank God for that." She told him. "We could go out to the hypermarket. The sun set a couple of hours ago."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I mean, not that I don't love your eggs, 'cause I do, but variation is the spice of life right?"
"That's not what I meant. I meant, you haven't been outside since you came out of the hospital. Are you sure you're ready to go out?"
She nodded. "I think I am. Besides, I have to go to the hospital tomorrow to have the stitches taken out. I might as well go out before that, see what happens."
"The stitches in your side or the ones in your wrists?"
"Both, the nurse who spoke to me didn't know I'd had the accident and when I told her she said she might as well take them all out at once."
"Okay, you want to go now?"
She nodded.
He drove to the nearest hypermarket and parked as near to the doorway as possible. He helped her out of the car and she took his arm as they walked.
"Just give me a minute to go to the ATM." She told him.
He nodded although he had every intention of paying for their purchases.
She drew some money out of the machine and they went into the shop.
"I usually avoid places like this." He told her.
"Why?"
"They make me look pale."
At her look he continued. "Well, paler. What do we want again?"
She counted out the things that they wanted on her fingers. "Bread, margarine, beans, milk, sugar and chocolate."
"What do we need chocolate for?" He asked.
She looked up at him. "Chocolate always makes me feel better."
"We'll get plenty then." He promised.
After getting their shopping he drove them to a small café on the other side of the town where he ordered her pancakes and syrup and himself a black coffee.
"How come I get a plate load of calories and you only get a caffeine filled cup of coffee?" She complained.
"Because you're the one who needs to build up their strength." He retorted.
She rolled her eyes. "Has anyone ever told you you'd make a great dad?"
He shook his head seriously. "No, it's hard for people to see you as a dad when you're either a drunken layabout or a vicious killer."
She touched his hand. "I don't see you like that."
"I don't get it." Buffy complained to Willow as they walked through the cemetery together on patrol. "He's my boyfriend and I haven't seen him in like a week. How fair is that? I'm pretty sure he's helped her enough now."
"Buffy, she was raped. That's pretty big. It's only been a couple of weeks. He's helping her. I know Angel still loves you but maybe Cordelia needs him more right now." Willow told her reasonably.
"I know." Buffy mumbled. "But I still don't have to like it that he's spending so much time with her and not me."
Willow decided to say nothing.
Cordelia desperately wished she didn't have to go to the hospital alone. But Angel, being flammable and all, couldn't help her there.
She sighed and got out of bed, pulling on a pair of comfy jeans and a vest. "Might as well get it over with." She murmured. "It's not like I could sleep anyway."
She grabbed her cosmetic bag and opened her bedroom door. She could smell coffee, Angel was up.
She walked out of her room and stood still. "Giles? What are you doing here? It's like seven thirty."
He stood up and put his freshly polished glasses on his nose. "Good morning Cordelia, Angel called me. He thought you might like company at the hospital. Not to mention a ride there and back."
"You don't have to do that." She told him, fiddling with the zip on the bag she was holding.
Angel came out of the kitchen with a mug and placed it on the coffee table in front of Giles. "Want a cup?" He asked her.
She shook her head no. "I guess that could be good." She told Giles warily. "I mean, we are only going there right?"
His face softened. "Of course. Straight there and straight back."
She nodded. "Give me ten minutes."
She disappeared into the bathroom.
"Thanks for this." Angel told Giles as he sat down to drink his coffee. "And sorry I had no tea."
"Quite alright and it would be my pleasure." He took off his glasses and began polishing them with a handkerchief out of his pocket. "I'm quite fond of Miss Chase, she's a striking girl. What happened to her is such a tragedy. The man who did it deserves hanging. Are the police any closer to find out who it was?"
Angel shook his head. "They managed to get DNA from Cordelia's clothes and from under her fingernails. So, I guess it's just a matter of time."
Giles nodded. "If she needs anything else please don't hesitate to ask me."
Angel nodded. "I won't. I wish I could go today but there's no sewer access to the hospital. When she was admitted I could only visit her on a night."
"I'm ready." Cordelia announced, coming out of the bathroom with her face scrubbed and hair pulled back. "Can we go?"
Giles nodded and stood up. "Of course, the sooner we go."
"The sooner we can come back." Cordelia finished and walked to the door. "I'll see you when I get back." She told Angel with a small smile.
"Look after her." Angel told Giles.
The watcher nodded and followed her to his car.
Cordelia came back to the mansion with fresh bandages on her wrists and an appointment card for her psychiatrist for the following week.
"Did it go okay?" Angel asked from his position hovering near the kitchen door.
She shrugged and sat down on the couch stiffly. "It hurt like hell but they're out."
"Can I get you anything?" He asked.
She shook her head. "But thanks, I might see if I can sleep it off."
He smiled. "Go ahead, I'll be quiet."
"Thanks."
She slept for a couple of hours and then decided to get up instead of lying in bed awake.
She limped into the living room, the pain in her side had gotten worse and her muscles felt tight.
"Angel, I think I'm going to make a cup of tea, do you." Her voice faltered as she saw Buffy and Angel kissing on the couch. "I'm sorry."
They jumped apart, Angel almost guiltily. "No, it's fine. This is your home, for now."
She smiled tightly. "I'll be in the kitchen then I'll get out of your way."
She hurried into the kitchen and turned on the kettle. Only then did she let out the breath she was holding. Angel was the only person who was caring about her right now. She'd almost forgotten he was dating Buffy. He was practically her best friend these days. So why did it hurt so much to see him kissing his girlfriend?
Once Buffy had gone Angel went to Cordelia's room to apologise. "She came on a bit strong."
"Its fine Angel, really, why should you have to tiptoe around in your own home?"
She was lying on her bed again trying not to move.
"Are you in pain?" He asked, concern written across his forehead.
She nodded. "In my side, it's sore when I move, so I'm trying not to."
"Can I see?" He asked gently.
She nodded.
He came towards her slowly, as not to startle her. He sat down next to her and watched as she lifted her top.
The wound looked ugly and red. "Is it the same on the other side?"
She nodded.
"I could disinfect it for you, make sure there's no infection, or I could get some painkilling cream for you to put on." He suggested.
"The cream could be good. The nurse at the hospital disinfected it for me so there wouldn't be an infection."
"I'll nip out and get you some." He offered.
"No!" She exclaimed and sat up, crying out when it hurt her wound.
"Cordelia, be careful!" He grabbed hold of her to support her.
"Don't leave me alone." She pleaded.
"Okay." He soothed and stroked her hair back out of her face. "I won't leave you. Giles offered to help you so I'll give him a call and get him to pick some up for you."
"No, don't bother him." She insisted.
He lowered her gently back onto the bed. "Just lay there and relax."
She nodded and closed her eyes.
When he came back she was asleep.
A couple of days later Cordelia was sat reading when there was a knock on the door. She looked up as Angel went to answer it.
Two policewomen were stood there.
She swung her legs off the couch and sat up properly.
"Is Miss Chase in?" She heard one of them ask.
"I'm here." She answered before Angel could say anything.
He stood back and allowed them to enter.
"Miss Chase." One of them began. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, what do you want?"
"Cordelia." Angel warned and sat down next to her. "Relax."
"It's quite alright." The other policewoman smiled. "It's better if we get straight to the point."
"Cordelia." The other one picked up. "We picked up a man last night for attempted rape. We're checking his DNA right this minute but his ID showed his name to be Greg Davies."
Without knowing she had done so Cordelia had stiffened and taken a deep breath. "So, you've got him."
She nodded. "Yes we've got him. But now we need you to come in and write a statement and identify him in a line up."
"Why does she have to do that if you've already identified him?" Angel interrupted.
"Just formality." The other one told him simply.
"Will I have to testify in court?" Cordelia asked, suddenly worried.
"You shouldn't have to." The first one told her. "The statement should be enough."
"When do you want me to come identify him?"
"As soon as possible." The second one answered.
"Will tonight be okay?" She asked.
They both nodded. "Absolutely fine."
"I'll see you."
Angel took Cordelia into the police station and stayed close to her side as they were led into a small room.
A policeman joined them a couple of moments later and shook both of their hands. "Miss Chase, once you are ready we'll open the other door and you'll be led into the viewing are. You'll look at the men one at a time. You need to look at all the men once. They are all suspects. It is very important you look at all the men once, do you understand?"
She nodded.
"You'll be led in and then you leave by a door at the other end. The men can't see you so don't worry. Only speak when you've left the viewing area as several of the men's lawyers are going to be present. Anything you say may be used as evidence against you. Do you understand?"
"Yes." She whispered.
"Okay, a female officer will come to escort you into the viewing area soon." He told them. "I'm afraid only she can escort you in there." He looked at Angel.
"He can't come with me?" She asked.
The policeman shook his head. "Only another police officer."
He left.
"Are you okay?" He asked and squeezed her arm gently.
She nodded. "I guess."
"I wish I could come in with you."
"I wish you could come in with me."
"Just be strong, you'll be fine and I'll be waiting for you at the other side, okay?"
She nodded and then found herself enfolded in his arms.
They broke apart when the policewoman came in to take her to the viewing area.
He was number four. She remembered his eyes. Those piercing blue knots that appeared in her dreams, no her nightmares. Even though he couldn't see her she felt like he could.
He was staring at her, his mouth curved up ever so slightly into a smirk. He could see her, see straight into her soul. She held it together through numbers five to eight and then collapsed in Angel's arms, sobbing like she felt she was retching out her insides.
Author: victoriamartynne
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Spoilers: None.
Summary: In 1998, Angel befriends Cordelia when the going gets tough.
Angel visited her every night when the sun had gone down. Sometimes he brought Buffy but mostly he came alone. He brought her chocolate and ice cream and other treats she insisted she shouldn't eat but she did anyway.
He sat outside her room while she spoke to her psychiatrist and checked to see if she was okay afterwards before he even considered going home.
Two weeks after she'd slit her wrists she left the hospital with her doctor's consent. Angel took her back to the mansion, as her parents were still absent from Sunnydale.
She stepped into the mansion, for the second time, and relaxed a lot more quickly than she had the last time. "Is that my throw?"
He looked to where she was looking. "Yeah, Buffy brought it from your house; I would have gone but."
"But what?"
"You haven't invited me in." He shifted awkwardly.
She shrugged. "Okay, you're invited into my house, will that help?"
He nodded. "I think it might."
"Good."
She went across to sit on his couch. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to do here."
"What do you mean?"
"This is all a bit strange, I mean, I'm going to be living with you for a while and I should be freaked out by that but I'm not. Even my psychiatrist said that I should think carefully before I move in here with you. Is it wrong that I'm comfortable being near you? A man. After what happened I'm supposed to hate men, I'm supposed to be scared of men, but here I am about to move in with you and I should be feeling bad and I'm not! I'm a freak!" She hid her head in her hands and began to cry.
He came across to her and put his arm around her. "It's okay, you're not a freak."
"I'm sorry." She sniffed and wiped her eyes. "I seem to be crying all the time."
"I think after what you've been through you're allowed to cry as much as you want."
"But surely that isn't an excuse? I mean, how long is it acceptable for me to cry all the time? It's been two weeks, am I still allowed to cry?" She looked up at him.
"I think so."
"When am I allowed to not feel bad or not to cry or not to want anyone to touch me?" She asked.
"Take as much time as you need. Something bad and wrong has happened to you and it's not your fault, you didn't ask for it to happen. All you need to do now is give yourself time to work through things and let yourself feel better."
"So you're saying I have to take it one step at a time?"
He nodded. "Exactly. Now, do you want eggs or pizza?"
"Eggs could be good." She smiled. "Can you cook?"
He mocked being offended. "Yes I can cook."
He squeezed her shoulder and then stood up. "Make yourself at home."
He went into the kitchen leaving her in the living area. She looked around and spotted a couple of her photographs on the mantle in their frames, one of her parents and one of the Scooby gang. As well as her throw Buffy had brought a couple of pillows and her lamp. She got up and wandered into the room that was to be hers and recognised the sheets and blankets and opened a drawer to see her clothes. She sat down on the bed. It wasn't as dark and dingy as she had expected. Of course, there were thick drapes covering the window to protect Angel from the sun but there was enough light from the bulb.
She picked at the bandage on her left wrist. Maybe that hadn't been such a good idea.
"Cordelia?" He asked from the doorway gently, not wanting to startle her.
She looked up. "Huh? Sorry I wasn't paying attention."
He smiled. "Buffy just called."
"She did? I didn't hear the phone."
"She said that she, Willow, Xander and Oz would call around after patrol. I didn't get a chance to tell her I'd have to check with you. If you don't want to see them I can get rid of them." He looked nervous.
"No, it's your house; you're welcome to have guests." She told him. "Don't mind me."
He nodded. "If you're sure."
She nodded and he went back to the kitchen.
Dammit, she thought, why'd you have to say that? Why didn't you tell him you didn't want to see them? It was just what she needed, Buffy and her merry men coming to look at the freak. What a fun evening she was in for.
She stood up and opened the closet where she found more of her own clothes. She found a pair of jogging pants and a sweater that were more comfortable than the jeans and shirt she was wearing.
"Eggs are ready!" Angel shouted.
She changed quickly and left the room.
After eating her eggs Cordelia sat with Angel and watched TV. She jumped when there was a knock on the door.
"Calm down." Angel soothed and stood up. "It will probably be Buffy."
She nodded and pulled her knees up to her chin, wrapping her arms around her legs.
He opened the door and the Scoobies and Giles came in. They stood in the doorway awkwardly and then advanced into the room when Angel went back to sit down.
For a couple of moments nobody said anything then Giles stepped forwards. "It's good to see you Cordelia. I'm glad to see you looking so well."
She smiled at his sincerity. "Thanks."
"Do you want to sit down?" Angel asked and motioned to the other chairs in the room.
They shuffled into the room and perched on the various chairs Angel had in the room.
"Did you have a good patrol?" Angel asked.
Buffy nodded. "Five vamps."
Xander seemed fixated on the bandages on Cordelia's wrists. She noticed and pulled the sleeves of her sweater over her hands.
"When are you coming back to school?" Willow asked timidly, remembering all too well that Cordelia deserved to be mad at her after her accident at the factory.
"I don't know." She suddenly looked panicked, she hadn't thought of school. "I'll be, uh, I'll be in my room."
"I didn't mean." Willow began but Cordelia was already in her room with the door shut.
"It's okay; she's still a bit skittish." Angel told her. "I'll go talk to her when you've gone."
"Maybe I should." Xander began but he was cut off.
"I don't think she needs anything from you." Angel bristled. "The way you've treated her I'm surprised she allows you anywhere near her."
He stood up. "I'm surprised she lets you anywhere near her! After what she's been through and she starts to live with a monster!"
Angel stood up and advanced on him.
"Guys, maybe you should save the macho fighting for another time." Oz suggested, making Willow thank whatever it was that made him forgive her for her indiscretion with Xander. He could be so cute and considerate sometimes.
Buffy stood up and stood in front of Xander. "Maybe we should go."
"That might be a good idea." Angel growled, glaring at Xander.
Buffy gave him and quick smiled and shoved Xander towards the door. Giles hung back and spoke to Angel. "Please convey to Cordelia my well wishes. Please tell her not to rush going back to school. She's better off getting healed properly before going back. It could be hard on her as it is."
Angel nodded and closed the door behind them.
It had only been a short visit but it would be a memorable one.
He went to Cordelia's room and opened the door.
She was laid on the bed with the pillow clutched to her chest. She'd ripped off the bandages on her wrists and her sweater had lifted up so he could see she'd ripped off the bandage there too. There were tear marks on her face.
He sat down on the bed and wondered where to start but he was beaten to it.
"How can I go back to school with those on my wrists?" She asked.
"The scars?" She nodded. "Maybe when you're ready to go back they'll be gone."
She shook her head. "The doctor at the hospital was trying to scare me and told me I'd have these scars forever. Plus I have a hole through my side which means I won't be able to cheerlead. Everyone will probably already know about what happened to me and then they'll see the scars and see what I tried to do and I won't be able to hold my head up."
"Cordelia, if any of them have half a brain they'll realise that you've had it tough. And they'll know that nothing that's happened was your fault. Some bad things have happened to you and if there is one person in that building that thinks that you haven't been royally screwed over and that what happened is your fault then they're not worth the life they've been given. And I'll go beat them up for you."
Despite herself she smiled at his words.
He reached out and squeezed her fingers. He frowned. "You're freezing."
She shrugged. "My hands are always cold."
"Cordy, I'm a vampire. When someone is colder than me then that's a problem." He let go of her hand and grabbed the comforter. She covered her in it and tucked it in under her chin and around her arms. "That should warm you up. I can get a hot water bottle if you want."
She shook her head. "But thanks. What does a vampire have a hot water bottle for?"
He smiled. "I have no idea."
"Can I ask you something?" She asked tentatively.
He nodded and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Of course you can."
"Why are you doing this? I mean, we weren't exactly friends before all this happened. Why are you being so kind to me now?"
"I was the one that found you. I could smell the blood on you, and not to freak you out, I could smell the man who did this on you. You were lying in the alleyway outside the Bronze. It was raining and you looked dead. I stayed with you while Buffy ran inside to call the ambulance. I suddenly thought of all the times we'd spent together. You were always vibrant and full of life. You made me laugh. Seeing you there broke my heart. You were so broken and still. Buffy told me what had happened with Xander and Willow. And then with Harmony and your other so called friends. I guess I just wanted to be there for you. You had no-one."
She swallowed back the lump in her throat. "How did you get to have such a big heart?"
If vampires could blush he was sure he would be by now. "Nobody has ever said anything like that to me before."
"Maybe nobody has ever cared to find it out."
"You didn't think I had any ulterior motives about having you stop here did you?" He asked worriedly.
She shook her head. "I trust you Angel, I was just curious. Nobody has ever put themselves out for me before." She ended on a yawn.
"You should sleep." He told her.
She nodded. "It's past my bed time."
"Sleep well; I'll be here in the morning." He promised.
"Don't you sleep during the day?" She asked as he made to leave the room.
"I normally do, but while you were in hospital I thought it would be better if you weren't on your own all day, I changed my sleeping patterns." His hand lingered on the light switch.
"You didn't have to do that." She told him.
"I wanted to." He assured her and flicked off the light. "I'll be next door. If you need me shout."
She nodded. "Thanks."
The next morning she woke up to eggs, as she did for the next week. By then she decided to teach him how to cook something else if he insisted on cooking her breakfast, which he did.
"How about beans on toast?" She suggested one night as they sat watching television.
"No beans." He told her. "Or bread."
"You do have a toaster though, right?" She asked hopefully.
He shook his head. "I have the grill in the cooker though."
"Thank God for that." She told him. "We could go out to the hypermarket. The sun set a couple of hours ago."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I mean, not that I don't love your eggs, 'cause I do, but variation is the spice of life right?"
"That's not what I meant. I meant, you haven't been outside since you came out of the hospital. Are you sure you're ready to go out?"
She nodded. "I think I am. Besides, I have to go to the hospital tomorrow to have the stitches taken out. I might as well go out before that, see what happens."
"The stitches in your side or the ones in your wrists?"
"Both, the nurse who spoke to me didn't know I'd had the accident and when I told her she said she might as well take them all out at once."
"Okay, you want to go now?"
She nodded.
He drove to the nearest hypermarket and parked as near to the doorway as possible. He helped her out of the car and she took his arm as they walked.
"Just give me a minute to go to the ATM." She told him.
He nodded although he had every intention of paying for their purchases.
She drew some money out of the machine and they went into the shop.
"I usually avoid places like this." He told her.
"Why?"
"They make me look pale."
At her look he continued. "Well, paler. What do we want again?"
She counted out the things that they wanted on her fingers. "Bread, margarine, beans, milk, sugar and chocolate."
"What do we need chocolate for?" He asked.
She looked up at him. "Chocolate always makes me feel better."
"We'll get plenty then." He promised.
After getting their shopping he drove them to a small café on the other side of the town where he ordered her pancakes and syrup and himself a black coffee.
"How come I get a plate load of calories and you only get a caffeine filled cup of coffee?" She complained.
"Because you're the one who needs to build up their strength." He retorted.
She rolled her eyes. "Has anyone ever told you you'd make a great dad?"
He shook his head seriously. "No, it's hard for people to see you as a dad when you're either a drunken layabout or a vicious killer."
She touched his hand. "I don't see you like that."
"I don't get it." Buffy complained to Willow as they walked through the cemetery together on patrol. "He's my boyfriend and I haven't seen him in like a week. How fair is that? I'm pretty sure he's helped her enough now."
"Buffy, she was raped. That's pretty big. It's only been a couple of weeks. He's helping her. I know Angel still loves you but maybe Cordelia needs him more right now." Willow told her reasonably.
"I know." Buffy mumbled. "But I still don't have to like it that he's spending so much time with her and not me."
Willow decided to say nothing.
Cordelia desperately wished she didn't have to go to the hospital alone. But Angel, being flammable and all, couldn't help her there.
She sighed and got out of bed, pulling on a pair of comfy jeans and a vest. "Might as well get it over with." She murmured. "It's not like I could sleep anyway."
She grabbed her cosmetic bag and opened her bedroom door. She could smell coffee, Angel was up.
She walked out of her room and stood still. "Giles? What are you doing here? It's like seven thirty."
He stood up and put his freshly polished glasses on his nose. "Good morning Cordelia, Angel called me. He thought you might like company at the hospital. Not to mention a ride there and back."
"You don't have to do that." She told him, fiddling with the zip on the bag she was holding.
Angel came out of the kitchen with a mug and placed it on the coffee table in front of Giles. "Want a cup?" He asked her.
She shook her head no. "I guess that could be good." She told Giles warily. "I mean, we are only going there right?"
His face softened. "Of course. Straight there and straight back."
She nodded. "Give me ten minutes."
She disappeared into the bathroom.
"Thanks for this." Angel told Giles as he sat down to drink his coffee. "And sorry I had no tea."
"Quite alright and it would be my pleasure." He took off his glasses and began polishing them with a handkerchief out of his pocket. "I'm quite fond of Miss Chase, she's a striking girl. What happened to her is such a tragedy. The man who did it deserves hanging. Are the police any closer to find out who it was?"
Angel shook his head. "They managed to get DNA from Cordelia's clothes and from under her fingernails. So, I guess it's just a matter of time."
Giles nodded. "If she needs anything else please don't hesitate to ask me."
Angel nodded. "I won't. I wish I could go today but there's no sewer access to the hospital. When she was admitted I could only visit her on a night."
"I'm ready." Cordelia announced, coming out of the bathroom with her face scrubbed and hair pulled back. "Can we go?"
Giles nodded and stood up. "Of course, the sooner we go."
"The sooner we can come back." Cordelia finished and walked to the door. "I'll see you when I get back." She told Angel with a small smile.
"Look after her." Angel told Giles.
The watcher nodded and followed her to his car.
Cordelia came back to the mansion with fresh bandages on her wrists and an appointment card for her psychiatrist for the following week.
"Did it go okay?" Angel asked from his position hovering near the kitchen door.
She shrugged and sat down on the couch stiffly. "It hurt like hell but they're out."
"Can I get you anything?" He asked.
She shook her head. "But thanks, I might see if I can sleep it off."
He smiled. "Go ahead, I'll be quiet."
"Thanks."
She slept for a couple of hours and then decided to get up instead of lying in bed awake.
She limped into the living room, the pain in her side had gotten worse and her muscles felt tight.
"Angel, I think I'm going to make a cup of tea, do you." Her voice faltered as she saw Buffy and Angel kissing on the couch. "I'm sorry."
They jumped apart, Angel almost guiltily. "No, it's fine. This is your home, for now."
She smiled tightly. "I'll be in the kitchen then I'll get out of your way."
She hurried into the kitchen and turned on the kettle. Only then did she let out the breath she was holding. Angel was the only person who was caring about her right now. She'd almost forgotten he was dating Buffy. He was practically her best friend these days. So why did it hurt so much to see him kissing his girlfriend?
Once Buffy had gone Angel went to Cordelia's room to apologise. "She came on a bit strong."
"Its fine Angel, really, why should you have to tiptoe around in your own home?"
She was lying on her bed again trying not to move.
"Are you in pain?" He asked, concern written across his forehead.
She nodded. "In my side, it's sore when I move, so I'm trying not to."
"Can I see?" He asked gently.
She nodded.
He came towards her slowly, as not to startle her. He sat down next to her and watched as she lifted her top.
The wound looked ugly and red. "Is it the same on the other side?"
She nodded.
"I could disinfect it for you, make sure there's no infection, or I could get some painkilling cream for you to put on." He suggested.
"The cream could be good. The nurse at the hospital disinfected it for me so there wouldn't be an infection."
"I'll nip out and get you some." He offered.
"No!" She exclaimed and sat up, crying out when it hurt her wound.
"Cordelia, be careful!" He grabbed hold of her to support her.
"Don't leave me alone." She pleaded.
"Okay." He soothed and stroked her hair back out of her face. "I won't leave you. Giles offered to help you so I'll give him a call and get him to pick some up for you."
"No, don't bother him." She insisted.
He lowered her gently back onto the bed. "Just lay there and relax."
She nodded and closed her eyes.
When he came back she was asleep.
A couple of days later Cordelia was sat reading when there was a knock on the door. She looked up as Angel went to answer it.
Two policewomen were stood there.
She swung her legs off the couch and sat up properly.
"Is Miss Chase in?" She heard one of them ask.
"I'm here." She answered before Angel could say anything.
He stood back and allowed them to enter.
"Miss Chase." One of them began. "How are you?"
"I'm fine, what do you want?"
"Cordelia." Angel warned and sat down next to her. "Relax."
"It's quite alright." The other policewoman smiled. "It's better if we get straight to the point."
"Cordelia." The other one picked up. "We picked up a man last night for attempted rape. We're checking his DNA right this minute but his ID showed his name to be Greg Davies."
Without knowing she had done so Cordelia had stiffened and taken a deep breath. "So, you've got him."
She nodded. "Yes we've got him. But now we need you to come in and write a statement and identify him in a line up."
"Why does she have to do that if you've already identified him?" Angel interrupted.
"Just formality." The other one told him simply.
"Will I have to testify in court?" Cordelia asked, suddenly worried.
"You shouldn't have to." The first one told her. "The statement should be enough."
"When do you want me to come identify him?"
"As soon as possible." The second one answered.
"Will tonight be okay?" She asked.
They both nodded. "Absolutely fine."
"I'll see you."
Angel took Cordelia into the police station and stayed close to her side as they were led into a small room.
A policeman joined them a couple of moments later and shook both of their hands. "Miss Chase, once you are ready we'll open the other door and you'll be led into the viewing are. You'll look at the men one at a time. You need to look at all the men once. They are all suspects. It is very important you look at all the men once, do you understand?"
She nodded.
"You'll be led in and then you leave by a door at the other end. The men can't see you so don't worry. Only speak when you've left the viewing area as several of the men's lawyers are going to be present. Anything you say may be used as evidence against you. Do you understand?"
"Yes." She whispered.
"Okay, a female officer will come to escort you into the viewing area soon." He told them. "I'm afraid only she can escort you in there." He looked at Angel.
"He can't come with me?" She asked.
The policeman shook his head. "Only another police officer."
He left.
"Are you okay?" He asked and squeezed her arm gently.
She nodded. "I guess."
"I wish I could come in with you."
"I wish you could come in with me."
"Just be strong, you'll be fine and I'll be waiting for you at the other side, okay?"
She nodded and then found herself enfolded in his arms.
They broke apart when the policewoman came in to take her to the viewing area.
He was number four. She remembered his eyes. Those piercing blue knots that appeared in her dreams, no her nightmares. Even though he couldn't see her she felt like he could.
He was staring at her, his mouth curved up ever so slightly into a smirk. He could see her, see straight into her soul. She held it together through numbers five to eight and then collapsed in Angel's arms, sobbing like she felt she was retching out her insides.
