Disclaimer: Things I own: My version of Maiden of Pain, Aster, The Silver Shadows Trilogy, Mighty Whitey Wheaty, Tribby's Tribbalia Fun Planet, and every other world or place or thing I've created. Things I don't own: Star Trek and all other things owned by Paramount, Hershey, or Disney. Big frippin' DUH.
HOT DOG
CHAPTER SEVEN: Tribby's Tribbalia Fun Planet
"Whoo!" yelled Kirk. "Women in bikinis! Is this place great or what!"
All other members of the crew groaned.
"CAPTAIN!" they said in unison.
Kirk just stared and drooled.
"I'm leaving the water park, Jim!" called Spock loudly. And he turned to go in the general direction of the roller coasters. Bones tagged along.
"Good call, Spock," he said. "Let's go have some fun."
"My intention was not to 'have fun', doctor. It was to keep the Captain from making some, ah, I think I shall say 'hasty decisions'. In case you didn't notice, some of those women were Orions."
"I noticed all right. And it's more fun getting out of there than staying with the Captain when he's like this. He's not tagging along, but it's all the same to me."
"I am not an expert on fun," siad pock, looking over his shoulder, "but I believe you may be correct in this matter."
"Sure I am. Ooh, Spock, look, let's go on the ROLLER-COASTER TRIBBLE BOUNDER CORKSCREW OF FLAME!" suggested McCoy.
"I have no objections to offer," said Spock placidly.
"That's new," muttered McCoy, but not loud enough for Spock to hear.
The ROLLER-COASTER TRIBBLE BOUNDER CORKSCREW OF FLAME was a blast. (A/N: Seriously. Blast. Literally. Like BOOM. Blast. Exploision.) Spock was intelligent and kept his wits about him and sat up straight and let the wind wreak havoc on his perfect hair. Doctor McCoy threw up his arms and closed his eyes and yelled and therefore didn't see the sign.
"WARNING: FLAMES AHEAD! PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN!"
McCoy was glad he'd brought his medikit with him. As he wrapped his scalded hands in bandages, applied skin patches to the serious injuries, and muttered, he let Spock pick out a more sedate ride.
"Was that 'fun', doctor?" asked Spock seriously, though his ears were twitching again.
"Shut up and pick a ride," muttered Bones.
"This looks safe enough," said Spock pointing to the map.
"Uh, Spock?" asked Bones, giving the Vulcan a stare of hitherto unaparalled terror, "have you gone crackers?"
"Crackers, doctor?" asked Spock calmly. "No, doctor, I am still flesh and bone if that's what you-"
"KISSING TOWER?" yelled Bones.
"Doctor, please try to calm yourself. I was indicating the water show," said Spock, his ears twitching so hard the prosthetics almost fell off.
Bones heaved a sigh of relief. "Righty-ho. Let's get a move on."
"Very well."
The water show was innocent and fun and happy until the Andorian Blackandbluewater Snakefish jumped out of the pool and bit Spock's ear.
If McCoy had been Vulcan, he might have offered assistance. If McCoy had been half Vulcan, he might have twitched his ears. But McCoy was not remotely Vulcan. He fell out off his seat laughing and slapping his two huge bandages together in what might have been applause.
"So," said Spock as the wandered around with their respective cups of Dip 'n Dots, "now what?"
"I don't care. You pick, Spock."
"I suggest we see a movie."
"Which movie?"
Spock twitched his ears.
Vulcan in a Speedo was better than he doctor McCoy might have expected. Or at least the first five minutes were. Then it began to rain and the power went out and the theter was struck by lightening. Lightening that hit the arm between where two people were sitting.
No prizes for guessing which two.
Spock and Bones left the theater once the rain stopped. A rainbow was only just visible, but McCoy didn't notice it.
They found the rest of the senior crew at the water park.
"We sent the rest o' 'em back tae the ship when it was rainin'," said Scotty. "We had to find the Captain."
"So did you guys have fun?" asked Bones gloomily.
"No way!" said Chekov. "We just tried to keep the Keptin out of trouble."
"We found him-" began Uhura
"About three hours after you guys abandoned us-" said Sulu bitterly.
"Making out vith an Orion-" continued Chekov.
"Ye c'n guess why his face is all green, aye?" said Scotty, his voice prickling with disgust.
"She left with a big Orion male! Much less handsome then me, I tell you..." grumped Kirk.
"So," asked Uhura, "you boys have fun?"
McCoy was about to say no, but then he looked at the crew. They were soaking, glaring, miserable- He could admit that his day was worse then theirs or he could tell them-
"It was great."
Spock opened his mouth to speak. McCoy wanted to hurridly explain what he was doing., but to his surprise Spock didn't argue.
"Actually," the Vulcan said, "I beleive we had a very 'fun time'."
McCoy nodded.
"You guys beam up," he said seriously, "then get us."
The senior crew nodded gloomily. Uhura hailed the ship and a they diappeared.
"Good going Spock!" said McCoy proudly. "You fibbed!"
"I did not. I believe you said we should 'have fun'. Did we not, then, have fun?"
McCoy laughed so hard that when they beamed up he had to go to Sickbay to get some medication.
"What's up with him?" asked Kirk in worried tones.
"Merely upset," said Spock, "because we have found the 'happiest place on any planet'. Not Earth, sir, but... well, you know. When do we get our tribbles?"
"I got you guys each one," said Kirk, handing Spock a small tribble.
"Thank you, sir," said Spock. "And I got a bit of 'memorobelia'."
"Oh?"
"You'll see later. In the holodeck. Shall I meet you there at 0700 hours? The rest of the senior crew might wish to come."
"When is 0700 hours?"
"The next scene, Captain."
"Oh. OK."
