My first St. Patrick's Day story sucked, so here I try it again ^^ Also the next holiday is April Fool's Day ^^

DISCLAIMER: You know it already.

*~*~*~*~*

March 16

"Ah yes, tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day," Holly sighed and leaned back in her new chair. "What should I do for it?" Foaly choice that time to walk in.

"Well, I have an idea," Foaly began, but then Root walked in.

"Tomorrow's St. Patrick's Day. The best holiday Mud Men have ever came up with!" Root said.

"Excuse me. I was talking here," Foaly said.

"Yes yes. What is it that you want to say Foaly?" Holly said.

"We play a prank on a particular Mud Man," Foaly said, "or rather, Mud Boy."

"Great idea, but what about Butler?" Holly said.

"He is in with it," Foaly said.

"Really? How did you get him to do that?" Root asked.

"Dunno, he just agreed," Foaly said.

"What should we do to Fowl?" Holly asked.

"Do what to Fowl?" Chix asked.

"Pull a prank on him," Holly said.

"I'm in," Chix said.

"Only if you close the door," Root said. Chix closed the door.

"Now, where do we start?" Root said.

*~*~*~*~*

"I wonder what the fairies do on St. Patrick's Day," Artemis said.

"Who knows?" Butler lied.

*~*~*~*~*

NEXT DAY (St. Patrick's Day for all of you who are slow in the head)

"Okay Holly, Root and Chix. Get ready," Foaly said from back in the OP's booth. All three fairies knew that he was quite disappointed that he didn't get to annoy Fowl. Because of how their plan works, Foaly has to stay behind because of his lack of magick, "Fowl is going to wake up in about five minutes."

"I'll just stay outside and wait for you guys," Holly said, not really wanting to see Fowl in whatever he sleeps in.

"Okay then," Chix grinned and watched Root open Fowl's dorm room door. Butler had unlocked it last night. Holly watched as the two fairies walked in Fowl's room. Root and Chix swiftly turned all of Fowl's clothes inside out. He had conveniently left the clothes he was going to wear today on a chair. Root and Chix also put a glamorie (A/N: I'm sorry, I really don't know how to spell it and the spell-checker doesn't work for words relating to magick a lot of the time.) on every clothes item so, to Fowl, it appeared that his clothes were the right way around. Everyone else saw it the way it actually was. The shielded fairies left the room, locking it behind them.

"How did it go?" Holly asked.

"Exactly as planned," Root replied. The three fairies, and one centaur back in Haven, snickered. Root, Holly and Chix slipped down to the cafeteria.

*~*~*~*~* (A/N: Me and Wicca-Gurl are very strange. We DEFINATLY don't like Artemis. Hence the reason why he tends to get dissed in my stories. This section has Artemis' thoughts in it. Just thought you might like to know. They are not, in any way, shape, or form, my thoughts. *pauses, then adds* Or Wicca-Gurl's.)

Artemis was confused. A very unusual emotion for the child genius. (A/N: I can't spell the word I actually want to use instead of genius. Sorry.) People were staring at him, turning to their friends, pointing him out and laughing. Artemis didn't think there was anything wrong with his appearance. Sure he was a tiny bit pale, but he was quite dashing. Artemis should know. Every morning when he wakes up he says to his reflection in the mirror, Good Morning, you dashingly handsome devil! Artemis sat down in his usual table in the corner all by himself, he didn't need those fools! Frowning, Artemis glared at his food. He ate it down as fast as he could so he would have some time to check his mail. Finished, Artemis flipped open the top on his Lap-Top. He typed in his 12 passwords.

'He is almost as paranoid as Foaly,' Holly thought, looking at Artemis' computer.

"You got mail!!" the annoying voice chirped on Artemis' Lap-Top. Holly grinned. Now the fun begins. Artemis looked at the amount of new messages. 1837. That had got to be a bad sign. Holly heard a muffled snicker coming from besides her.

"Chix!! Shut the hell up!!" Holly hissed into her helmet.

"Sorry," Chix replied.

"1837 new messages?? That is crazy!! Even people who get so much junk mail don't get that much messages over night!!" Artemis murmured, eyes wide, "Shit, I have got so many filters on my E-Mail, I shouldn't get ANY junk mail!" Artemis clicked on the first message. It read:

"Dear Artemis Fowl, I would like to say, Happy St. Patrick's Day."

Artemis read the next message. The same. Then the next and the next. All were the same. The most horrid thing had happened. SOME ONE WAS SPAMMING HIS INBOX!!!!!!!

"AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Artemis yelled, jumped up and ran in circles. Fortunately, he was yelling so loud, he didn't hear three fairies laughing their little heads off. By the time he stopped screaming, everyone else in the cafeteria was laughing, so nobody noticed that there were three shimmers, often flashing into small forms, were rolling on the floor. The fairies calmed themselves and Root and Holly went off to the Biology Lab, Artemis' next class. Chix stayed behind and whispered in one boy's ear:

"Did you know that Artemis is a Greek Goddess? Not the Artemis with his clothes inside out, but a mythical Goddess. Artemis Fowl was named after a girl." The boy burst out laughing again and told the person next to him that particularly interesting information. Chix chuckled and went to the Biology Lab.

*~*~*~*~*

In the Biology Lab, there is an empty seat behind Artemis. Its occupant is sick. The three fairies decided to use that to their advantage. Holly sat on top of that desk, Root under it, and Chix was lying under Artemis' chair. Artemis himself walked in. Holly smothered giggles. Artemis sat down in his desk and opened his Lap-Top. He now had 2596 new messages. Sighing, Artemis began the long task of deleting all of those offending messages. Holly grinned and pulled his hair. She slid back into the chair and ducked down. Artemis frowned and turned around. Nobody there. Must have got caught on something, Artemis thought. He went back to deleting his messages.

Root took a pen out of his pocket. He calmly poked Artemis in the small of his back.

"OWW!" Artemis yelped. The teacher stared at him, "sorry."

Chix poked the back of Artemis' knee.

"STOP THAT!!" Artemis yelled. Once again the teacher stared at him.

'What an odd boy. He is wearing his clothes inside out, too,' the teacher thought. All of Artemis' classmates slowly wandered in.

"OOWW!!"

The class continued in that fashion. Everyone was busy confirming their beliefs that Artemis was insane.

"No wonder he needs all of those physiatrists," one boy whispered to his friend.

*~*~*~*~*

Root grinned. With Foaly spamming Artemis' inbox, Chix, Holly and himself annoying the hell out of Fowl, Artemis is going to have one heck of a day!

"Next class is math," Holly whispered to her male companions.

"Time to try out Foaly's little toy," Chix grinned. The three fairies followed Artemis into the math room. Artemis sat down at his desk and opened his Lap-Top. 5067 new messages. Artemis groaned. Who the hell was spamming his inbox?? The rest of the class filed in.

"Alright everyone!! Take out last day's assignment!!" The math teacher chirped.

"Sir, I am not finished," Artemis' voice said. The three fairies grinned. Artemis not done his homework? That would be crazy!

"How did you think of that?" Holly asked Chix. Chix walked over to where Holly was.

"It just comes to me, naturally," Chix flicked his hand in that 'I am the coolest girl alive!' way. Holly stifled a giggle. (A/N: I was inspired by that from my band teacher. Al, if you are reading this, dontcha think Mr. Popoff acts like a girl?? That was to you too Ka Ka Head ^^) Root glared at both of them.

"Mr. Fowl, do you know what that means?" the teacher drawled, 'Finally!! An excuse to punish Him!!'

"I never said that!!" Artemis gasped, 'who is impersonating me? Who wouldn't want to? I am perfect!'

"Right," the teacher said sarcastically, "off to the Headmaster you go!"

"But, I," Artemis stuttered. (A/N: Poor Arty is confused. BWHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! Just the way I like him!)

"Get going, young man!" the teacher said gleefully.

"Let's let him have a few minutes of normality," Root suggested.

"Yeah," Holly agreed, "I'm hungry." The three fairies snuck off to get something to eat.

*~*~*~*~* (3 Period, LA, whew, I'm half done ^^)

Artemis frowned. Such odd things were happening today.

"Hey look! It's Goddess boy!!" a random kid yelled.

"Goddess Boy! Goddess Boy!!" everyone else chanted.

'What a nice new nick-name I have," Artemis thought. He walked into the LA room. (A/N: I'm soooooo creative with names ^^) As soon as he sat down in his desk, he jumped up again with a yelp. There was a tack stuck to his ass!! Someone put a tack on his chair!! Whoever that person is, they sure are early for April Fool's. Artemis looked around for more traps, then sat down.

"Good morning class. Today we are going to start Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare," the LA teacher smiled.

"Good morning, Artemis. I hope you don't mind water!" Root murmured, then took a fizzer from his belt. He calmly speared it on his utility knife. He then dumped the contents of the container on Artemis' head.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" Artemis yelled, "WHERE DID THAT COME FROM????" The three fairies exchanged looks of maniacal joy.

"Artemis Fowl. Please calm down," the teacher said severely.

"Can I go change?" Artemis asked the teacher.

"No," the teacher replied.

'Ah, shit,' Artemis thought.

*~*~*~*~*

Lunch was quite an interesting time. To put the events into a nut-shell, Chix, Holly and Root started a food fight. Of course, Artemis got blamed for it, even though he didn't throw a single food item. Now Artemis has his clothes on backwards, is drenched, and is covered with various food items. He does not want to know what will happen during PE.

*~*~*~*~*

'The only good thing about Physical Education is that we get to change clothes,' Artemis mused.

"Unfortunately, you will be attacked by wall balls, courtesy of Captain Short," Holly said to her two companions.

"Holly, don't speak in third person. It is creepy," Chix told her.

"What ever," Holly then proceeded to pelt Artemis with wall balls.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I CAN'T ESCAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*~*~*~*~*

Next period for Debate. (A/N: Wicca-Gurl told me that in some places, Debate is a class. So, because I am a Debater, (so is KaKa) Artemis has a period called Debate. I can't think of any prank to pull on him, so the fairies got tiered and fell asleep.) Nothing happened. The three fairies were sleeping. They had to turn off the communicators so they didn't have to listen to Foaly's annoying voice telling them to wake up.

*~*~*~*~*

Computers. Usually Artemis' favourite class. But with the way his day has been going, Artemis bet that something terrible would happen.

"Okay, today we are going to work on our typing skills. Everyone log in and start up All The Right Type!" the computer teacher said.

'Yeah right. He just doesn't want me out smarting him in HTML,' Artemis thought.

"Foaly, that's you cue!" Root said to the centaur back in OP's booth.

"Transmitting virus onto the computer Artemis is working on," Foaly said.

Artemis was in All The Right Type, typing out what ever it is they want him to type at a speed which was probably Mach 10. Everyone else's computers seemed to have a problem. They kept re-booting.

"What's going on?" a random boy asked.

"Yeah," asked Root, to Foaly.

"Well, I just uploaded a simple virus that affects all of the computers in the network," Foaly blathered. Root looked even more confused.

"He means that every time Fowl hits the space bar, every other computer in the network re-boots," Holly explained.

"Network?" Root asked. Chix tried to pretend to be smart.

'Ladies like smart men like me!' Chix thought, 'So Holly must too!'

"EVERY COMPUTER IN THIS LAB EXCEPT FOWL'S RE-BOOTS EVERY TIME FOWL PRESSES THE SPACE BAR!" Holly yelled, "Do you get it now?"

"Yes," Root said.

"Great," Holly turned to Chix, "Chix, tell everyone that Fowl is the problem."

"No problem," Chix grinned. He walked over to another random boy.

"Goddess Boy uploaded a virus into the school's computers. He is making them re-boot! See? He is not affected by anything!" Chix whispered. The boy automatically stood up and pointed to Artemis yelling that it was his fault everything is screwed up.

"Well, that was the last class of the day," Root said.

"Yes, let's get down to Haven and get some sleep. It's 2:15 in the afternoon!" Holly yawned. The three fairies left, leaving nothing behind except one chaotic school.

*~*~*~*~*

Well, was the better than my first version?? April Fool's Day is going to come up here in a few days or so. I am sooo behind.

APRIL FOOL'S DAY: Artemis gets revenge on the fairies for the events in St. Patrick's Day. He toilet papers Police Plaza and other pointless things like that.

Mage Kitty ^^