A Digimon S2Passions crossover play! Tabitha's plan to conjure up a demon to destroy Harmony doesn't go very well, to say the least, resulting in total craziness and mayhem! PG-13 for random acts of violence, mature stuff, and other things I can't think o
Act Sixteen: The Triple Wedding of the Century and Matt's Worst Nightmare Come True
Scene One: The Crane Mansion
Pilar goes upstairs and begins to search the study. An hour later, she finds a key to the safe, opens it, looks in it, and finds a folder with her name on it.
Pilar (looks through the folder): I wonder if this is what I'm supposed to be looking for? (reads a note addressed to her) "Pilar, if you find this, then look under the rug for a hole cut in the carpet. There should be a loose floorboard in that spot. When you look in the floor, there should be a videotape buried underneath a pile of dirt. It will explain everything".
She then looks under the rug, picks up the loose floorboard, and finds the plastic-covered videotape in the dirt. She puts the videotape in a VCR and plays it, then Julian appears on TV.
Julian (speaking on TV): My dearest Pilar, if you're watching this tape, that means that I'm gone. I want you to know that despite what you think of me, I always have and always will love you and our daughter more than life itself. In the folder you've found contains legal papers naming you and Rosaria sole heirs to the Crane mansion and the Crane millions. I know it won't take away the pain I've caused you, but just think of it as my apology. Before I go, I think it's time you learned the truth about what happened to your husband--Father had him killed. I had absolutely nothing to do with it. He saw him as a threat to the Cranes, so he felt he had to be eliminated. The only reason I kept quiet about it was Father threatened to kill me too if I told anyone. I know you probably don't believe me, but it's the truth. Well, it's time to go. As my soul drifts to the Great Beyond, I'll rest easier knowing you and Rosaria will be taken care of for the rest of your lives. Take care of yourself. (the tape ends)
Pilar goes through the folder and reads the papers contained in it. She begins to cry as she realizes that her life is about to change.
Pilar (overjoyed): I can't believe it! If all this is true, then...I'm rich! YAHOO!!!
As she runs downstairs to tell Luis and Sheridan, the doorbell rings. Sheridan opens the door and sees that the Digidestined, Justin, Alicia, and Timmy have returned.
Sheridan: Hey guys, I thought you were on your way back home.
Tai: We thought so too, but...
Pilar (sees the kids at the door): Oh, hi kids. Weren't you on your way home?
Sora: Well, Ms. Lopez-Fitzgerald, that's the problem. We can't get home because the portal's closed and there's no way to open it again.
Sheridan: Why don't you just get Tabitha to open it for you?
Cody: We can't seem to find her anywhere. It's like she just disappeared of the face of the earth.
Timmy (crying): Now Timmy has no place to live!
Alicia: And none of us can get home.
Tai: So we came back here to ask if you could help us work something out.
Pilar: You kids came just in time. Come in, I have something to tell all of you.
They all go into the living room, then Pilar tells everyone that Julian left her and Rosaria the mansion and the Crane millions.
Sheridan: I can't believe it!
Luis (angry): I don't believe it. Julian's never done a damn thing for anyone his whole miserable life, then, out of the blue, he leaves you everything?!
Pilar: I guess he wanted to make amends for all the pain he's caused us.
Luis: At least tell me you're not even considering pursuing this.
Pilar: I'm sorry Luis, but I have to. I intend on claiming what's mine.
Luis: Mama, you can't be serious!
Pilar: I'm dead serious. We could definitely use the money, which I plan on doing good things with. Besides, it'll benefit everyone in the long run.
Luis: But Mama...
Sheridan (tugs on his arm): Luis, listen to your mother. She's usually right about things like this.
Luis (fuming): Oh, alright.
Pilar: Now, as for you kids, we'll help you find places for you to stay while you settle down here in Harmony.
Izzy: I just thought of something--we already have places to live.
Matt: What do you mean, Izzy?
Izzy: The Bennetts, Tabitha's, The Russells, and the Lopez-Fitzgeralds houses are all vacant now.
Tai: That's right!
Davis: Well, they sure can't object to our living in their houses--they're all dead.
Yolei: That mouth of yours is gonna get you in trouble one of these days.
Davis: I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear that.
Yolei: Oh yeah? Hear this! (hits him on the head)
Davis: Ouch! That hurt!
Yolei: Now maybe that brain of yours will start working.
Cody: Could you two please cut it out for five seconds?
Davis and Yolei: Sorry.
Pilar: Okay, I'll buy those houses for you, then you can figure out who's gonna live where. Wow, I never thought I'd be talking about buying houses. It's weird.
Mimi: Ms. Lopez-Fitzgerald, if you don't mind, Sora and I would like to live at your house.
Pilar: That's okay with me.
Alicia: Can I live with y'all?
Mimi and Sora: Sure.
Kari: I think I'd rather stay at the Bennetts. It already feels like home to me.
T.K.: Me too.
Matt (looks at Tai): I think we'll stay at the Bennetts also.
Tai: Good idea.
Yolei: Ken and I will stay at the Russells.
Justin: And I'll stay with them so they don't get into any trouble.
Joe: So I guess that means Izzy, Davis, and I will live at Tabitha's.
Davis: Wait a minute! How'd I end up living with the brainiacs? Don't I get a say in this?
Yolei: Let me think--NO!
Tai: It looks like everyone has a place to live.
Timmy: What about Timmy and Cody?
Pilar: I've been thinking about that. I'd really appreciate it if you boys would come live with me here in the mansion. I'd even like to adopt you so we can be a real family.
Timmy (crying): Wow, Timmy never had a real family before.
Cody: You mean, Tabitha's not your mom?
Timmy: Tabitha gave Timmy life, but she never considered Timmy family.
Pilar: We're definitely going to work on that grammar of yours, Timmy.
Timmy: Timmy can't help it. Timmy's been speaking like this for as long as he can remember.
Sheridan: Speaking of the people Rebecca killed, I think it would be nice if we held a small memorial service for them.
Kari: That's a great idea, Sheridan.
Pilar: Okay, we'll make the arrangements, then we'll hold it a week from today. Is that okay with everyone?
All except Pilar: Yeah!
They spend the rest of the night planning the memorial service.
Scene Two: Harmony Catholic Church (A week later)
Everyone gathers at the church for the memorial service. Three hours later, they all go to the mansion for refreshments. An hour later, Luis gives a look to Justin and T.K. then gets everyone's attention.
Luis: Listen up, everyone. I know this is a sad occasion, but Justin, T.K. and I have something to ask the women in our lives.
Luis, Justin, and T.K. all get down on one knee in front of Sheridan, Alicia, and Kari.
Luis, Justin, T.K.: Will you marry me?
Sheridan, Alicia, and Kari exchange looks.
Sheridan: What do you think, girls?
Alicia: Let's make 'em sweat a little.
Kari: Okay.
They turn their backs on the boys.
Justin: Aw, come on.
Luis: Give us an answer.
T.K.: Please?
Sheridan, Alicia, Kari (turning back around to face them): Yes, we'll marry you!
They all hug and kiss after receiving their rings.
Tai: Wait a minute, Kari. You and T.K. can't get married. You're much too young!
Sheridan: They can if they wait three years.
Tai and Matt:What?
Pilar: That's right, I forgot. The minimum legal marrying age in this state is 15.
Tai: This really is a crazy town, isn't it?
Luis: Alright, three years from today we're all walking down the aisle. Agreed?
Justin, Alicia, Sheridan, T.K. and Kari: Yeah!
Scene Three: Harmony Catholic Church (Three years later)
It's the day of the triple wedding of Luis and Sheridan, Justin and Alicia, and T.K. and Kari. Luis, Justin, and T.K. stand at the altar while maids of honor Sora, Mimi, and Yolei walk down the aisle on the arms of best men Tai, Matt, and Ken. Palmon is the flower girl, Cody and Timmy are the ringbearers, and Patamon and Gatomon are the Junior Bride and Groom. Right before the brides come in, everyone notices that the music has stopped and the organist has mysteriously disappeared.
Tai: Hey, what happened to the music?
Matt: I think somebody kidnapped the organist.
Luis: Who would do something crazy like that?
Just then, Michael McLoud and Jasmine Wayne-Wayne enter the church.
Michael: Hello, nice to see everyone here on this joyous occasion.
Justin: Who in the world are they?
T.K.: I have no idea.
Michael: When we heard there was going to be a triple wedding here today, we just couldn't pass up the chance to sing our new hit song as the brides walk down the aisle. Okay Jasmine, play the music and let's get started.
Luis: What do you think we should do?
T.K.: Let's give them a chance. How bad can they be?
Jasmine plays the music on a tape recorder and Michael dances offbeat. Everyone else reluctantly stands as Sheridan walks through the door dressed in white.
Michael (singing badly):
~Here Comes the Bride that I Love!~
Jasmine (joins in):
~Here Comes the Bride that I Love!~
Both (singing horribly):
~Here Comes the Bride that I Love! Heeerrre Comes the Bride that I Love!~
Justin (covers his ears): And I thought Britney did some horrible wailing.
T.K.: I was wrong! They're not bad--they're awful!
Timmy: Timmy's ears are bleeding!
Tai: Cody, see if you can find the organist.
As Cody leaves to find the organist, Alicia walks in wearing a powder blue dress.
Alicia (thinking to herself):Who in the hell hired these two yahoos? Oh well, I won't let it spoil my day.
After Alicia joins Justin at the altar, Kari walks in wearing a pink dress.
Kari (thinking to herself):Either I'm deliriously happy or these guys sound worse than nails scratching a chalkboard.
Kari joins T.K. at the altar, then Cody walks in with the very perturbed organist.
Organist: Those two yahoos tied me up and threw me in the closet!
Michael: I have no idea what this woman's talking about. She's obviously crazy.
Tai: You're the only one's who are crazy! Come on Matt, let's get them out of here.
Matt: My pleasure!
Tai and Matt grab Michael and Jasmine then throw them out of the church.
Jasmine: What nerve! They didn't even give us back our tape recorder.
Michael: Come on, we don't need them. We'll work on our next hit, then we'll be back, bigger than ever! (they leave the church)
Back inside, the ceremony continues. After the couples say their "I do's", they all kiss, then everyone applauds as the priest announces the newly married Luis and Sheridan, Justin and Alicia, and T.K. and Kari. Everyone then gets ready to head to the Crane mansion for the reception.
Scene Four: The Crane mansion (30 minutes later)
As the guests arrive at the mansion for the reception, Chad and a six-month-pregnant Whitney helps Pilar finish setting everything up.
Chad: Whitney, could you help me hang this up?
Whitney: You know I can't do any climbing in my condition.
Chad: You're supposed to be helping here.
Whitney: Well, if someone wouldn't have gotten me pregnant, then maybe I could do something.
Chad: Will you get off my case about that? (mumbles to himself) I wish she'd stop bitching at me about everything.
Whitney: I heard that! (throws a plate at him)
Pilar: Alright you two, that's enough!
Cody: Those two have gotten just as bad as Yolei and Davis.
Timmy: Speaking of Davis, where did he and Veemon go?
Cody: He's probably sitting outside moping. I guess today was just too much for him to bear.
Outside the back door, as the newly married couples arrive at the mansion, Davis looks on sadly.
Davis: How could she do this to me? I would've given her the best years of my life.
Veemon: It'll be okay Davis. There's plenty of sardines in the can--or however the saying goes. Anyway, I'm going back inside. Are you coming?
Davis: Maybe in a few minutes.
After Veemon leaves, Davis hears something moving in the bushes. When he turns to see what it is, he sees a girl walk towards him.
Davis: What in the world are you doing here?
Girl: Hi, Doofus, are you glad to see me?
Davis: How did you get to Harmony? I thought the portal was closed.
Girl: Never mind that. Is Matt here?
Davis: He's inside the mansion.
Girl: Just wait until he sees me. He'll be so surprised.
Davis (thinking to himself):Yeah, he'll be so surprised, he'll be running for his life!
The couples go into the mansion, then the reception gets underway. A few minutes later, the girl walks in.
Girl (yelling): Matt? Matt, are you here?
Matt (feeling a chill run down his spine): That voice. It can't be. Please, please don't let that be her.
Girl (sees Matt): There you are! After all these years, I finally found you!
Matt (freaking out at the sight of her): Oh no! It is her!
Tai: June Motomiya? How did she get here?
June (approaching Matt): Now that I've found you, we can get married and have seven kids and be together forever and ever.
Matt: Are you insane? I wouldn't touch you with a 50 ft. pole! I'm outta here! (begins to run)
June (running after him): Come back here! You can't run from destiny!
They both run out the back door and take off.
T.K.: That girl's gonna send him to the psych ward for sure.
Alicia: Forget them! It's time to par-tay!
Everyone spends the rest of the afternoon partying, then the couples leave on their honeymoon. An hour later, while everyone cleans up, the doorbell rings. Sora opens the door--it's Johnny Bravo!
Johnny: Hey little mama.
Sora: What are you doing here?
Mimi: I was wondering when you would get here. Come on, let's go.
Sora: Mimi, have you lost your mind? You're going out with him?!
Mimi: Sora, he's not completely obnoxious once you get to know him.
Johnny: Look what I can do! (makes farting armpit noises)
Sora (reluctantly): Oh-kay! Well, you two have fun, I guess.
They leave, then Sora closes the door.
Pilar: Well boys, it's time for you to go to bed. You're both starting school tomorrow.
Timmy (yawning): But Timmy's not sleepy.
Pilar: Oh yes you are. Come on, off to bed with you.
Pilar takes Cody and Timmy upstairs and puts them to bed.
Whitney: It's tims for us to go home. I have to get off my poor, swollen feet.
Chad (mumbling): As big as you are, I'm surprised you can even see your feet.
Whitney: You better watch it or you'll be sleeping outside tonight!
Chad: Alright, I'm sorry. Let's go. (they leave)
Ken: I think it's time for us to leave too.
Tai: I think we should wait for Matt to come back.
Davis: I don't think he's ever coming back if June's still chasing him.
Just then, Matt runs through the back door.
Matt (out of breath): I...finally...lost...her.
Tai: Let's get out of here before she comes looking for you.
They all leave a few minutes later. June comes in afterwards.
Pilar: Can I help you?
June: Is Matt here?
Pilar: He and his friends just left.
June: Okay, thanks! Bye! (she runs out the front door)
Pilar: Poor girl. She's worse than my Theresa was.
Rosaria (coming in through the back door): Don't forget about your firstborn daughter, Mama.
Pilar (turning around to see her): Rosaria! You've returned!
Rosaria: Yes, Mama, and this time, it's for good.
They hug each other, then after talking for three hours, they both go to bed.
Scene Five: A Few Miles away from Bermuda (Five hours later)
As the plane heads for the Bermuda airport, Luis, Sheridan, Justin, Alicia, T.K. and Kari prepare for their honeymoon.
Alicia: This is better than I could ever imagine. Six days and five nights in Bermuda with the man of my dreams. I couldn't ask for a better start for the rest of my life.
Justin: Me neither.
Kari: This will be the best vacation I've ever been on.
T.K.: Because you'll be spending every waking moment with me?
Kari: Yeah, that too.
Sheridan: It was really nice of Pilar to send us all to Bermuda for our honeymoons.
Luis: I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm going to enjoy every minute of this.
Justin: You said it, Luis.
Pilot (over the speaker): Attention everyone. We'll be arriving in Bermuda in a few minutes. Please fasten your seatbelts and prepare to land.
Luis: Well guys, it's time to go start living the rest of our lives.
Everyone except him: Yeah!
The plane lands in Bermuda, then the couples begin their honeymoon and the rest of their lives.
End of Act Sixteen.
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