Buffy's slippered feet padded softly down the basement stairs. The noise was so faint her own ears could barely pick up the sound, but she knew he would hear. And even if he didn't, even if for once he wasn't listening for her, he would sense her. He probably sensed her the minute she had even stepped in front of the basement door.

The Slayer scanned the basement for him. A man who was once her enemy, once her lover, and now hopefully her friend. She didn't see him at first, but like he could sense her, she could feel his presence. It surrounded her, warming her, making her safe. This wasn't a reaction she should have and she knew it. This wasn't always the reaction she had always had when she felt him around either. It used to be a feeling of hatred, disgust, and fear. But now it was only warmth, which was ironic due his lack of body heat.

Buffy was surprised when she got to the landing at the bottom of the stairs, turned, and saw Spike sitting on the floor, a few feet away from his cot. His head was resting on his knees and he looked up at her as she got closer.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

Spike shrugged and stood up. "Can't sleep on the bloody cot, not for a while anyway."

"Why not?"

"Because it smells of Anya and her whelp."

Buffy looked at the cot's rumpled sheets and then looked back at Spike. "Are you kidding?"

He smirked. "How I wish I were."

"Oh," Buffy studied his face as saw a look of amusement and extreme disgust in his eyes. "Well, I'll get you some clean sheets and stuff as soon as there... you know... are any."

"Don't bother," Spike told her, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. "I've had worse."

"But it's not," Buffy insisted, "it's not a bother."

"Hey now," he said coolly, his voice just as icy as his gaze, "wouldn't want to trouble you. I know you've got lots of important things to do. Demons to kill, holier-than-thou speeches to give-"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Slayer. And don't pretend like it isn't true."

Buffy shook her head in shock at the vampire and narrowed her eyes questioningly. "What happened to you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you like this? The coat, the cigarettes, your accent, you think that proves anything? You think that changes anything?"

Spike laughed. "It changes enough. I've got my rocks back, Slayer. I'm done having you walk all over me after everything I did for you."

"I didn't ask for this, Spike. You did this all on your own. You know, after you tried to *rape* me."

Her words stung. They were harsh and cold, and true. Buffy could see the effect of what she said had on him. He flinched and avoided her gaze. She always did know how to knock him down.

"I'm... I didn't mean-"

"No, you meant every word," Spike interrupted. "You think this is easy for me? Being here with you. Feeling you everywhere around me and wanting you all the time. You think that's easy? And then, after everything I did to try and make it right, to try and make me a better man, you knock me for it. You bloody kick me while I'm down and I'm so tired of it, Buffy."

"I'm sorry, okay? I've just got a lot of stuff going on and what I said the other day..." she trailed off, knowing that what she had said to him couldn't be taken back.

"Fine, just forget it, all right. Just tell me what you came down here for in the first place and then be on your merry way."

"I... I wanted to talk," she admitted shyly, feeling stupid for even saying that at this point.

"Talk? About what?"

"Just about... what happened, when I went back through the portal. You weren't there when I was talking about it and I felt you have a right to know."

Spike's face softened and he nodded understandingly. "Right, then. I'm listening."

"Okay. Basically just that I had a vision of thousands of Ubervamps taking over. I think that we might have stopped that though, the other day with Andrew and everything."

"And that's it?"

"No... there was something else. I... I was offered power, by these shaman- y guys. The were going to put the spirit of a demon in me."

"But..."

"But I turned it down. I didn't take the power because I was afraid of what it would do to me."

A bright smile grew across Spike's face and he began to laugh. He laughed so hard and so uncontrollably that tears sprung to his eyes.

"What? What's so funny?"

"You... are unbelievable!"

"What? Why?"

"You are some kind of hypocrite, aren't you?"

Buffy took a step back, confused and extremely offended. "Excuse me? What makes you say that?"

Spike took a moment to control his laughter and then took a swaggering step toward the Slayer. "You can't stop going off on me about how I don't use my power. You say I'm weak, you say I weep and get wailed on. You want the demon in me to come out, to be the me who tried to kill you. And then, when the great and holy Buffy is offered the power of the demon, the same power you are telling me to bring out, you turn it down. So what, then? Are you better than that? It's okay for you to be holy and good and pure but for me to try and live with what I've done, I get punished by you. I get humiliated by you."

Buffy took in what the vampire was saying to her and thought that she would cry. He was absolutely right. She couldn't make the words come to her lips but she knew he was right.

"Spike, I-"

"And it's not just me, either. Oh no, you can't help but go off on Willow too. It's okay for her to sink down to her lowest if it'll save YOU. You know, if it'll make YOU look good. All she wants is to keep everyone safe, yeah? But that's not good enough for you, is it? No, you would rather she be evil, but you can't give up just a little of your holier-than-thou image to protect the world. I take it back, Slayer, if ever I've said it. You are no martyr. You are a hypocrite, and a coward."

"Spike..." She trailed off, wishing a thousand times in her head that she could take back what she had said a few days before. Not just to Spike, but to Willow as well. But sorry wouldn't cut it, she knew better than that.

"I wish there was something I could-"

"There is," he interrupted her, as he placed a cigarette in his mouth and lit it.

"What? What can I do?"

Spike cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. "Piss off."
TBC...

~*~

Okay, I'm gonna write one (maybe two) more chapters. The next one is gonna be Spike and Dawn making up (friendshippiness). I just hate seeing them all mad at each other. Anyway, please please please review!!!