A/N: WOW! People actually seem to like my little story! I want to thank all of my wonderful reviewers, because without them I would have stayed in the corner of my room afraid to type anything ever again! ^_^x Well, I might've typed my name once in awhile…. Anyway, here's hoping you like this chapter as much as the last one!

Disclaimer: Everyday I sit in front of my little Kenshin shrine and pray that all rights and ownership of the manga/anime "Rurouni Kenshin" will be transferred to me. ::sigh:: But I guess some prayers just aren't meant to be answered. All rights belong to
Watsuki-sama and other people with lots of money. Whereas I, am a poor college student without a job….

**Spoiler Warning** Some spoilers for the Jinchuu Arc will be present. And if you don't know what that is, you may not want to read this just yet……

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Holding Back

**Difficult Confession**

Did he just call me…? She shook the fleeting thought from her mind. "But you're wrong, Kenshin. If I was stronger, you wouldn't always have to rescue me, and then you would never have gotten hurt. You wouldn't be in so much pain… because of me", and at this Kaoru's tears began to fall anew as she tried to hide her face in the fabric of Kenshin's gi.

Suddenly, without knowing exactly how, he understood. All this time, he thought it was just in her nature to be kind to him, to anyone. Though he knew he wasn't wrong about that, Kenshin could see now that there was something else, another reason for her kindness; she cared for him. Everything she had ever done for him, it wasn't just her kind nature, it was because she cared for him, Himura Kenshin. But, why? Why does she torture herself in this way? Why does she care for me so much, when she knows what I am? What I've done… Still, does any of that truly matter now? Kami-sama, I came so close to loosing her, forever! KUSO! I can't let that happen again… Shaking his head Kenshin gave way to a small sigh, no matter what, I can't leave now. I have to stay to protect her. Even… even if she doesn't feel the same way, I have to pro-

"Kenshin?" Feeling him tense at some thought unbeknownst to her, Kaoru's own sadness was instantly replaced with concern for Kenshin. "What's wrong?" she demanded, looking worriedly at him, afraid his injuries might be catching up with him.

Seeing that she was too worried about him to be sad any longer, he shook his head. "Nothing is wrong Kaoru-dono. I was just thinking that you should not force yourself to suffer so over my pain. None of it could ever be your fault, and you have done nothing to deserve such torture, that you have not" he concluded firmly.

"And you have?" came her somewhat angered response.

"Oro?"

"Kenshin," she began gently, "every day you force yourself to suffer the same anguish because you feel guilty; you never allow yourself even the slightest chance to feel happiness. Can't you see how it hurts me to watch you torment yourself?"

"Kaoru-dono, I-"

"No", she said as she halted his words by gently placing her hand over his mouth. "Kenshin, I know you don't mean to cause me pain, but the way you constantly distance yourself from… all your friends, it breaks my heart." Even though he sensed her need to continue, it was al Kenshin could do to stop himself from silencing her and, somehow, showing her that he hated the distance between them as much as she did.

Oblivious to her rurouni's inner struggle, Kaoru continued, "I haven't said anything until now because I know you feel like you don't deserve to be close to anyone, because of your past," she said gently, "but after seeing you fight Enishi so fiercely to protect us all, well, I just… I just can't do it anymore." As he heard the words escape her lips, all rational thought within Kenshin came to a screeching halt. Do what?! he wondered desperately. Could she possibly want me to… leave her? Please, Kami-sama no! I can't! I… I can't live without her! I need her… as thoughts continued to careen through his head at record speed, his head naturally tilted downward, in an attempt to keep Kaoru from see into his soul.

At the same time, Kaoru's mind was also racing; this is it. I'm tired of hiding my feelings, but, what if he doesn't… With a heavy sigh, Kaoru gathered up her courage and continued, determined not to hold back, for once. "What I mean to say is that I can't allow myself to sit here and watch you suffer anymore, not without doing something about it." Softly, Kaoru used her forefinger to tilt his chin up just enough for her to be able to look into his eyes. "Kenshin, you have already paid for all your sins a thousand times over, and because of you, so many people are free to be happy and live peacefully. But… even though you've helped me so much already, I can't be happy until you let go of the past and enjoy what you have now, because I…" Kaoru hesitated for a moment, knowing the power those three little words held once said. But despite the fear she felt welling up from the pit of her stomach, she forced herself to go on. "I… I love you, Kenshin. And I know that you only think of me as a friend," it's all a stupid tanuki like me is good for anyway, "but I just wanted you to know that… that I… I just want you to be happy!" she finished, exasperated, her words failing her as Kenshin's continued silence caused her fear to completely overtake her. Without making a sound, her eyes on the floor in front of her, Kaoru mentally prepared herself for the rejection she was sure would come any second.

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A/N: I am so very sorry! I really wanted to finish it up this chapter, but stupid writer's block hit again! ::grabs Kenshin's sword and flips it over as she turns towards the physical manifestation of writer's block; and giant block of wood:: DIE COUL DEMON! ::slices block in half and returns Kenshin's sword:: I feel better now. Anyway, thank you once again for putting up with my little story and it's quirks. And yes, I know the chapters are rather short, and I apologize, but it is my first time! Please review and give me any ideas you may have for the next chapter! (not that I don't have any of my own, but it would be nice to see what you think! ^_^x ) R/R please!

**hint!** by the way, someone brought up a good question, does Kaoru know about Kenshin's time in the Rakuminmura? Hmmmmmm, I don't know, you'll just have to wait for the next chapter! ^_~x Hopefully it won't be as short as the last two! And huge thanks to the person that brought it up! You know who you are! Oh yeah, if you leave me your email in your review I will send you an update notice when the next chapter comes up! ^_^x