See first page for legal stuff.
how can
you see into my eyes like open doors
leading you down into my core
where i've become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold
until you find it there and lead it back home…wake me up inside
----"Bring Me to Life" Evanescence
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Chapter 1
"I hardly think it is a good idea that I workout right now Professor Elswyth. I have not eaten in 48 hours. I would think a Ravenclaw would be better informed of the effects of starvation on the body." Alex dryly stated.
"Well fine then Professor Cainan, just fire down every idea I give you." The woman was nigh impossible to deal with! Exercise is a proven relief from stress and Alex looked like she was carrying around quite a lot, planted squarely on her shoulders.
A thin tendril of smoke wavered just out her peripheral vision. What on Earth? Oh for the love of Merlin she had done it now! Professor Cainan could really be a literal git sometimes!
"10 points from Slytherin for catching a Ravenclaw's robes on fire!" Fiona was busy stamping out the flames as she spit the words out.
"10 points to Ravenclaw for accepting how much better aim the Slytherin's have." Alex's eyebrow rose as she watched the fae stamp out the small fire she had started on the ends of her robes.
Fiona gave Alex a condescending stare while attempting to extinguish the small blaze that had somehow managed to creep and crawl it's way around her robes, leaving her looking like some poor muggle witch on a trial pyre.
"My eating habits are of no concern to you Professor Elswyth, although I do find it humorous to watch you put out your robes. Thank you for cheering me up, even if it meant points from my own house. No doubt that by the end of the day, the Ravenclaws will suffer much more than my Slytherins." Alex gave the fae an icy stare before turning on her heels and storming out of the staff room.
"Argh!" Fiona exclaimed through clenched teeth. Points from the Slytherins? Mere Points!? Her robes were ruined! Luckily the Slytherin's monologue had allowed her to slip the book she had carried ever so slightly into her own robes. She couldn't wait to see what the restricted book held and why Professor Cainan had thought to conceal her possession of it. She turned and stormed back to her own rooms in a cloud of smoke. A small smile playing at the corners of her mouth at the horrified looks frozen on the 1st year's faces as they watched their glamours disapperate leaving only a puff of smoke.
Walking back to her rooms, Alex wondered about what was up with Professor Elswyth. Why the hell would the woman even care if she ate or not? That was more of a Hufflepuff comment. Not something expected from a Ravenclaw. Alex snorted in humor. Alex figured Professor Elswyth just wanted to study the effects of long-term starvation. Alex pushed her way into her office to await the onslaught of idiots known as the Gryffindor's. God, I hate this class she thought. Gryffindor and Slytherin 5th years. Which always meant hell from Potter and ass kissing from Malfoy. The day had started out in a good way, with a blaze. The look on Professor Elswyth's face was enough to put Alex in a good mood. But as Potter made his way to his seat, it all went down hill from there.
Being the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher had its good points though. The boy would get his ass kicked today. Just when she was about to start class though, Alex noticed one of her books missing. "Oh bloody hell, where is my book?" she muttered and began class.
"I just don't see why in the hell you put up with that woman!" Talon opened the windows of their tower rooms in an attempt to get the acrid smell of burnt wool out of the rooms.
Fiona just smiled that small secretive smile of hers and shook her head. Merlin's Beard, how that smile could just melt him down. Though he knew it was deceptive, she also possessed an iron will that often made a formidable foe. "Tal, you know Alex and I have known each other since, … forever." He stared at her for a second before shaking his head resignedly and turning back to the windows to shoo the smoke out. Damn Slytherins, he thought.
Well she didn't really know how long she and Alex had known each other. It seems the time before the first uprising was a haze of memories, lost in the mists of time and horror. The memories of the battle itself, masking wizards and witches in an attempt to save lives, fighting along side of some rather odd compatriots like Alex, Severus and Talon.
She sighed and walked over to him. Placing her arms around his waist and pulling him tightly to her, he stilled for a moment and then turned around in the embrace to look down on violet eyes that still managed to take his breath away. They were glowing with desire and he gave in lowering his head slowly to capture her lips with his.
On the table the book moved. Small vibrations could be seen running up and down the length of it. Then most amazing of all two small hand prints showed up as if pushing from the inside to get out of the book.
They were still locked together in a dance of kisses and touches as they slowly moved towards the large blue velvet couch that dominated the center of their living room. A muffled grunt escaped Talon's lips as he went knocking into the table. The book fell to the floor and was quite forgotten for the time being.
"This is not good." Alex stormed into her office in the dungeons slamming the door. Many times she has forgotten that not only should she not loose her temper, but that the office is also used by Hogwart's Potions Master and resident greasy haired git. Severus Snape looked up from the pile of parchment he had been marking to give Alex a classic sneer.
"Professor Cainan, it is not becoming of a lady to loose her temper."
"And when, Professor Snape, have you ever considered me a lady?" Alex gave him the same classic sneer back.
Merlin how I love it when she does that. He would rather die than admit that to her though. She has been nothing but a thorn in my side since she got here.
"Touche Professor. Might I inquire what the hell is the problem now?" If she's not taking his job as Head of Slytherin House, she's barging into HIS office complaining about something.
He made the mistake of telling Albus in passing that the new potion he was working on for an outside source was taking up a lot of his time. Albus took this to mean Severus couldn't handle his work load and therefore not only passed him over for the DADA job yet again, but also gave the new Professor his Head of House position.
"It's only for a year Severus. You look worn out and I don't need the best potions master in Great Britain burning out on me."
"Stop kissing my ass Albus. You know damn well that I have and can handle more than this. Who have you hired anyway?"
That's when Severus should have known. The old man's eyes started to twinkle and that was never a good sign. It meant he was up to something. He was always up to something.
"Her name is Alex Cainan. She comes highly regarded by many Aurors and I believe she fought with us in the first war. She was a spy, was she not?"
Severus would have answered him, had he heard anything past "Alex Cainan." He hadn't seen her in years. He hadn't wrote to her and she certainly hasn't wrote to him. Not that he didn't think about her. He thought about her quite a lot actually. But now, she was going to be here. In this school. Teaching. Taking over HIS Head of House position.
"What was it you asked Albus?" Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. He knew the history between Severus and Alex. And it seemed that Severus had just re-lived the whole thing again in a matter of seconds.
"I asked if I had heard correctly. Miss Cainan was a spy for our side during the first war against Voldemart correct?"
"Yes Albus. She took the Dark Mark like Sirius did to spy for the Ministry." He remembered all too clearly the first time he had seen her after leaving her.
It was at Malfoy Manor. It was a regular thing to take victims and "toys" down to the dungeons under the Manor. Many of the Dark Revels were held here. Exactly like the night he saw her again for the first time.
He was making his way through the massacre. That's what he called it. In the room were multiple muggle bodies, some alive, some dead. Most of them were women, and the ones still alive had company. The Death Eaters had tortured most beyond repair and the ones unlucky enough to be alive weren't screaming for help. They just laid there, waiting for it to end. Waiting to die. The stentch was unbearable. It was death and sex. By this time, Severus regarded that smell as sickening. But there was a time that he found it intoxicating and the thought that he once found this display erotic churned his stomach.
He continued walking to the back room where private meetings were held. He was a member of the inner circle and tonight was an important meeting. Tonight he would learn the whereabouts of the next wizard family. The next family that dare turn down Voldemort's offer of a union. The week before it had been the Longbottom's. He had sat and watched as the Death Eaters drove the couple mad. He was only able to get the boy out. He knew he would see that couple again for the rest of his life. His victims always came back. He saw them every night. He would hear their screams until he woke up and couldn't tell if the screaming was his or their's.
He walked into the darkly lit room in his long black robe and silver mask. The garb of a Death Eater. It was customary for the Death Eaters not to see each other's face. No trust amongst murderers. Yet by this time, it had been imperative that Snape learn who's voice spoke. Just by mingling with the few that had already arrived, he knew that Goyle, Crabbe, and MacNair were here. He was just waiting on Lucious, Wormtail, and Voldemort.
He had no idea he would be seeing a fourth. A mystery.
Voldemort walked into the room followed by the two men who accompanied him everywhere. But then, a third person stepped into the room. Snape was surprised. He wasn't told of anyone else being accepted into the circle. This Death Eater was short for a man, about 5'5. Very slim, not a big build at all. In fact, after closer inspection, this Death Eater had to be a woman. But who? Initiations were always done with all the inner circle present. Snape didn't like this.
"My sons, welcome. I do hope you had time to enjoy yourselves before we get down to business." Voldemort's voice washed over him like silk. In the presence of something so powerful and so dark, it was all Snape could do to resist the temptation to fall to his knees.
"Before we begin, I would like to make a special announcement. As you can see, we have a new member joining us this evening. I know it is customary to bring a new member into our fold publicly but this was indeed a rare case. As you all know, we are coming upon the end of the war. I have but one more strike before the Ministry shall fall and I was offered something I just couldn't refuse. Go ahead my dear, remove your mask and let them see my new gift."
Severus held his breath while waiting for the mystery to unravel. And when the mask had been removed, he let out his breath and felt his heart shatter. A collective gasp sounded from the Death Eaters in the room. Snape couldn't help but notice that Malfoy and Wormtail also looked surprised. Interesting. That means she made her offer to Voldemort himself.
"This is Alexandra Cainan. I am sure many of you know or have seen her. She is an Auror. OUR AUROR."
The Death Eaters all dropped to one knee to welcome the new member into the circle. Severus dropped to his knee, but looked up at Alex. Alex. His Alex. She looked straight into his eyes and never in his life had he felt such cold. He felt a shiver run up and down his spine.
"Severus? Are you alright?"
Shaking his head to remove the fog, Snape looked up at Albus.
"I hope you know what your doing Albus. You know what happened with Alex. And I don't mean between Alex and myself. I mean you know what happened to HER."
"Yes, yes my boy, I know. But Severus, I also remember another lost soul that came to me for help. I cannot turn away the innocent and lost Severus. And she is lost."
"She definitely is not innocent." Severus was sneering. This is going to be an interesting year thought Albus.
"I lost the book Snape."
That brought him back from remembrance. That shook his entire walk down memory lane.
"You.Did.What?!" If the situation hadn't been so dire, he would have noticed that yet again, she refused to call him by his given name. She hasn't called him Severus since she had arrived. He knew he would never again hear her call him Severus.
"I can't find it. I looked everywhere. I traced my steps through the entire day all the way back before breakfast and I have no idea where it is." Alex was furious. She couldn't believe she was this stupid. Of all the things to misplace, this was NOT one of them. And now, she had to tell Snape what she had done. This is just fucking great.
"Alex, I hope to the Gods that the book didn't fall into the hands of one of the students. Especially a blonde haired Slytherin."
"We need to tell Albus. Now." They both made their way for the door out of the dungeons. As they walked in silence to the Headmaster's office, Alex couldn't help but notice that Snape had called her "Alex."
