Gone Avengin'
Chapter 5: A little more madness!!
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Kid Razor had somehow gotten his hands on some spray paint and he was spraying a design on the outside wall of the X-Mansion. It was a huge silver razor blade slashing through a disco dancer with a blond afro. Cyclops noticed this.
"What are you doing, man?!" Cyclops snapped. Razor looked at the X-Men leader with a What-are-you-stupid look.
"Decorating, you dipstick. What does it look like?" Razor replied in a nonchalant tone. "I sure ain't fixing the drains." He laughed for a second, then went back to his painting.
"You can't spray paint all over the Mansion!! I live here!!" Scott snapped.
"Your point?" Razor replied, still spraying. Scott noticed that the painting was covering part of a window.
"Hey, that's my window." Scott noticed. Razor stopped and looked at the window for a second as if he was examining it.
"So it is." Razor noticed. "Good for you." He patted Scott's shoulder and went back to his art. He was doing some fancy graffiti.
"Cyclops...is...a...big..." Scott read the graffiti. "HEY, I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE!!!" He hollered angrily.
"Not what I heard." Razor replied coolly. "Now are you gonna go away, or am I gonna have to beat you up and down Bayville?"
"Oh now, what is your GAH!!" Scott got grabbed by the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, and got his head bounced off the brick wall. "Ow!" The mystically-enhanced rocker then nailed the mutant with a neck thrust and a spinning back kick, knocking him to the ground. His superhuman hearing picked up clapping. He turned his head, and saw Althea walk up to the Jukebox Avenger, clapping her hands.
"Nice." She nodded with a smirk. "What's your style?"
"Karate, with some additions from other styles." Razor responded, cracking his trademark smirk, regarded as Rock's Sexiest Smile. "Your style is mostly ju-jitsu."
"You seem well practiced."
"Well, I am a sixth-degree black belt. Been into this martial-arts stuff since I was six. I saw 'Enter the Dragon' when I was five. I wanted to be Bruce Lee. On the Kid of Rock's sixth birthday, my mother signed me up for karate lessons. I loved it, and had been doing it ever since."
"Maybe you and I should spar sometime. I've been training since I was a kid myself." Althea shrugged. Razor laughed.
"Perhaps. Although it would be very obvious that yours truly would outdo you. I got looks, style, razzle-dazzle, and the Power of Rock!"
"The what?" Althea raised her eyebrow.
"Yo, babe!" Todd leapt in. "I've been looking for you."
"Hey Toddles." Al grinned. Razor burst out laughing.
"Toddles?! TODDLES?!?! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You refer to Amphibian Boy as Toddles?!?!"
"Al, oh I give up!" Todd groaned.
"Anyway, Razor was going to explain this 'Power of Rock' thing to me." Althea giggled.
"Yeah." Todd turned to Razor. "You babbled about it several times on the way here." Razor shrugged.
"The Power of Rock is a mystical energy that is inside every person. It's that feeling you get when you desire to be a rock musician. It's that feeling you get when you play a guitar solo for the first time." Razor explained. "Among my other powers, I can sense how much of the energy is within someone. I've noticed that Mr. Happy over here..." Razor pointed his thumb at Cyclops. "Has practically none of the Power of Rock in him. The X- Men on average don't have much, except for Multiple. His level his going up. The Misfits' level of the Power of Rock is significantly higher. Especially Starchild, Pyro, Avalanche, and Darkstar."
"Not surprised." A glammed-out Jamie walked up to the guys. "James Madrox. Manager of the Superstars. That's their band." Jamie and Razor shook hands. "Heard your music, Razor. Great stuff. You looking for a manager?" Razor chuckled.
"If you're the Superstars' manager, then the band must moonlight as a circus act." The Ultimate Rockstar quipped.
"Oh ha ha." Jamie responded sarcastically.
"Man, Razor. And some say I got a quick tongue, yo." Todd laughed.
"This coming from living proof of the genetic relationship between man and amphibian." Razor smirked. The four noticed Kurt stagger by. His clothes were tattered, his hair was messed up, and he had lipstick all over his face. He was singing Marvin Gaye. "Well, well, well. I guess the urban myth is true. Bigfoot does have a cousin that gets chicks in Bayville."
"Nah, just his girlfriend." Jamie told Razor.
"Kurt's with this human chick named Amanda." Todd explained. "Paul's been giving romantic advice to Kurt. Ever since then, whenever he goes anywhere with her, he returns in that state."
"Paul's advice tends to be that effective." Jamie laughed. His face then contorted to shock when he heard three voices.
"Oh, Jamieeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
"AW DEAR GOD NO!!!!" Jamie ran away in fright. Razor shook his head.
"Anyway, I hope the other guys are..." Razor's sentence was interrupted.
"HAWKEYE, IF YOU TRY TO IMPALE REMY WIT' DOSE ARROWS ONE MORE TIME..."
"CLINT, GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!!! AH DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU!!!" Rogue screamed.
"BURTON, YOU'RE AS BAD AS RAZOR!!!" Jean's voice reverberated.
"Oh yeah?" Razor growled. With an evil smile, he sent a thought to Jean that caused the telepath to release a retching scream. Razor was no telepath, but he, like any human, could create a thought that a telepath would pick up. "Try that one on for size, baby."
"YOU SHALL FEEL MJOLNIR'S FURY!!!!" Thor's voice yelled.
"HELP ME!!!" Ray screamed. "HE'S NUTS AND HE HAS A HAMMER!!!" CRUNCH!!!! KA- POW!!!! "OWWWWWW!!!!"
"JENNIFER!!! BLOB!!! STOP EATING EVERYTHING!!!" Wasp yelled.
"BUT WE'RE HUNGRY!!!" They snapped back. Razor, Todd, and Althea noticed Hank and Iron Man run by, obviously very, very drunk. Tony Stark had painted patches of blue paint on his armor.
"They may take our lives, but they will never take our Scottish Girls in Tiny Swimsuit Magazines!!!" Tony yelled in a Scottish accent, holding up a magazine.
"RAHHH!!!!" Beast charged behind him in agreement.
"Aw man, you gettin' this, hon?" Todd asked Althea.
"Oh yeah." Althea grinned, ever-ready with her camera.
"JOHN, PUT THE FURNITURE OUT RIGHT NOW!!!"
"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
"HE DID IT AGAIN!!! HE SET MY BIKE ON FIRE AGAIN!!!" Logan yelled.
"I must be in the middle of a fruit market, because everyone's gone bananas! WHOO!!!!" Razor laughed. Todd noticed Razor's graffiti.
"That doesn't even begin to describe Summers." Todd laughed.
"No kidding. That man has a stick shoved so far up his arse, when he opens his mouth, you can stick a marshmallow in it, hold him by the legs, keep him stiff, place his head over a fire, and roast the marshmallow." Razor snickered as he just fired another one of his trademark zingers.
"Preach on, Razor." Althea laughed. The four heard more yells and screams.
"OWWWW!!!! THOR, QUIT HITTING ME!!!" Ray screamed. "THAT HAMMER HURTS!!!!"
"HAWKEYE, DOSE ARROWS HURT!!!" Gambit yelled.
"WELL GET YOUR BIG BUTT OUTTA THE WAY OF THE TARGETS!!!" Hawkeye snapped back.
"JENNIFER, QUIT WRAPPING QUICKSILVER AROUND THAT STATUE!!!" Wasp yelled.
"HE GOT FRESH WITH ME!!!"
"WANDA, DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!!!"
"TONY!! HANK!!! QUIT PAINTING 'SCOTLAND RULES' ALL OVER THE KITCHEN!!!" Cap ordered loudly.
"GET THE ENGLISH CUR!!!" Iron Man yelled. "RAHH!!!" The Beast added.
"WHO CLAMPED MY WHEELCHAIR?!?!"
"So, when drunk, the Beast is a Scotsman. Who would've thought?" Althea noticed.
"I have a funny feeling that Stark and McCoy are going to be great drinking buddies." Razor snickered.
Man, the madness will never end! Will the X-Man, Misfits, and Avengers beat each other's brains out? What about the bad guys? What're they up to? Will Thor stop beating Ray with his hammer? Will Hawkeye stop shooting arrows at everyone? Will Pyro quit trying to burn everything down? Nah. Find out in the next chapter!!!
Chapter 5: A little more madness!!
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Kid Razor had somehow gotten his hands on some spray paint and he was spraying a design on the outside wall of the X-Mansion. It was a huge silver razor blade slashing through a disco dancer with a blond afro. Cyclops noticed this.
"What are you doing, man?!" Cyclops snapped. Razor looked at the X-Men leader with a What-are-you-stupid look.
"Decorating, you dipstick. What does it look like?" Razor replied in a nonchalant tone. "I sure ain't fixing the drains." He laughed for a second, then went back to his painting.
"You can't spray paint all over the Mansion!! I live here!!" Scott snapped.
"Your point?" Razor replied, still spraying. Scott noticed that the painting was covering part of a window.
"Hey, that's my window." Scott noticed. Razor stopped and looked at the window for a second as if he was examining it.
"So it is." Razor noticed. "Good for you." He patted Scott's shoulder and went back to his art. He was doing some fancy graffiti.
"Cyclops...is...a...big..." Scott read the graffiti. "HEY, I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE!!!" He hollered angrily.
"Not what I heard." Razor replied coolly. "Now are you gonna go away, or am I gonna have to beat you up and down Bayville?"
"Oh now, what is your GAH!!" Scott got grabbed by the Kid of Rock 'n' Roll, and got his head bounced off the brick wall. "Ow!" The mystically-enhanced rocker then nailed the mutant with a neck thrust and a spinning back kick, knocking him to the ground. His superhuman hearing picked up clapping. He turned his head, and saw Althea walk up to the Jukebox Avenger, clapping her hands.
"Nice." She nodded with a smirk. "What's your style?"
"Karate, with some additions from other styles." Razor responded, cracking his trademark smirk, regarded as Rock's Sexiest Smile. "Your style is mostly ju-jitsu."
"You seem well practiced."
"Well, I am a sixth-degree black belt. Been into this martial-arts stuff since I was six. I saw 'Enter the Dragon' when I was five. I wanted to be Bruce Lee. On the Kid of Rock's sixth birthday, my mother signed me up for karate lessons. I loved it, and had been doing it ever since."
"Maybe you and I should spar sometime. I've been training since I was a kid myself." Althea shrugged. Razor laughed.
"Perhaps. Although it would be very obvious that yours truly would outdo you. I got looks, style, razzle-dazzle, and the Power of Rock!"
"The what?" Althea raised her eyebrow.
"Yo, babe!" Todd leapt in. "I've been looking for you."
"Hey Toddles." Al grinned. Razor burst out laughing.
"Toddles?! TODDLES?!?! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You refer to Amphibian Boy as Toddles?!?!"
"Al, oh I give up!" Todd groaned.
"Anyway, Razor was going to explain this 'Power of Rock' thing to me." Althea giggled.
"Yeah." Todd turned to Razor. "You babbled about it several times on the way here." Razor shrugged.
"The Power of Rock is a mystical energy that is inside every person. It's that feeling you get when you desire to be a rock musician. It's that feeling you get when you play a guitar solo for the first time." Razor explained. "Among my other powers, I can sense how much of the energy is within someone. I've noticed that Mr. Happy over here..." Razor pointed his thumb at Cyclops. "Has practically none of the Power of Rock in him. The X- Men on average don't have much, except for Multiple. His level his going up. The Misfits' level of the Power of Rock is significantly higher. Especially Starchild, Pyro, Avalanche, and Darkstar."
"Not surprised." A glammed-out Jamie walked up to the guys. "James Madrox. Manager of the Superstars. That's their band." Jamie and Razor shook hands. "Heard your music, Razor. Great stuff. You looking for a manager?" Razor chuckled.
"If you're the Superstars' manager, then the band must moonlight as a circus act." The Ultimate Rockstar quipped.
"Oh ha ha." Jamie responded sarcastically.
"Man, Razor. And some say I got a quick tongue, yo." Todd laughed.
"This coming from living proof of the genetic relationship between man and amphibian." Razor smirked. The four noticed Kurt stagger by. His clothes were tattered, his hair was messed up, and he had lipstick all over his face. He was singing Marvin Gaye. "Well, well, well. I guess the urban myth is true. Bigfoot does have a cousin that gets chicks in Bayville."
"Nah, just his girlfriend." Jamie told Razor.
"Kurt's with this human chick named Amanda." Todd explained. "Paul's been giving romantic advice to Kurt. Ever since then, whenever he goes anywhere with her, he returns in that state."
"Paul's advice tends to be that effective." Jamie laughed. His face then contorted to shock when he heard three voices.
"Oh, Jamieeeeeeeeeeeeee..."
"AW DEAR GOD NO!!!!" Jamie ran away in fright. Razor shook his head.
"Anyway, I hope the other guys are..." Razor's sentence was interrupted.
"HAWKEYE, IF YOU TRY TO IMPALE REMY WIT' DOSE ARROWS ONE MORE TIME..."
"CLINT, GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!!! AH DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU!!!" Rogue screamed.
"BURTON, YOU'RE AS BAD AS RAZOR!!!" Jean's voice reverberated.
"Oh yeah?" Razor growled. With an evil smile, he sent a thought to Jean that caused the telepath to release a retching scream. Razor was no telepath, but he, like any human, could create a thought that a telepath would pick up. "Try that one on for size, baby."
"YOU SHALL FEEL MJOLNIR'S FURY!!!!" Thor's voice yelled.
"HELP ME!!!" Ray screamed. "HE'S NUTS AND HE HAS A HAMMER!!!" CRUNCH!!!! KA- POW!!!! "OWWWWWW!!!!"
"JENNIFER!!! BLOB!!! STOP EATING EVERYTHING!!!" Wasp yelled.
"BUT WE'RE HUNGRY!!!" They snapped back. Razor, Todd, and Althea noticed Hank and Iron Man run by, obviously very, very drunk. Tony Stark had painted patches of blue paint on his armor.
"They may take our lives, but they will never take our Scottish Girls in Tiny Swimsuit Magazines!!!" Tony yelled in a Scottish accent, holding up a magazine.
"RAHHH!!!!" Beast charged behind him in agreement.
"Aw man, you gettin' this, hon?" Todd asked Althea.
"Oh yeah." Althea grinned, ever-ready with her camera.
"JOHN, PUT THE FURNITURE OUT RIGHT NOW!!!"
"WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!"
"HE DID IT AGAIN!!! HE SET MY BIKE ON FIRE AGAIN!!!" Logan yelled.
"I must be in the middle of a fruit market, because everyone's gone bananas! WHOO!!!!" Razor laughed. Todd noticed Razor's graffiti.
"That doesn't even begin to describe Summers." Todd laughed.
"No kidding. That man has a stick shoved so far up his arse, when he opens his mouth, you can stick a marshmallow in it, hold him by the legs, keep him stiff, place his head over a fire, and roast the marshmallow." Razor snickered as he just fired another one of his trademark zingers.
"Preach on, Razor." Althea laughed. The four heard more yells and screams.
"OWWWW!!!! THOR, QUIT HITTING ME!!!" Ray screamed. "THAT HAMMER HURTS!!!!"
"HAWKEYE, DOSE ARROWS HURT!!!" Gambit yelled.
"WELL GET YOUR BIG BUTT OUTTA THE WAY OF THE TARGETS!!!" Hawkeye snapped back.
"JENNIFER, QUIT WRAPPING QUICKSILVER AROUND THAT STATUE!!!" Wasp yelled.
"HE GOT FRESH WITH ME!!!"
"WANDA, DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!!!"
"TONY!! HANK!!! QUIT PAINTING 'SCOTLAND RULES' ALL OVER THE KITCHEN!!!" Cap ordered loudly.
"GET THE ENGLISH CUR!!!" Iron Man yelled. "RAHH!!!" The Beast added.
"WHO CLAMPED MY WHEELCHAIR?!?!"
"So, when drunk, the Beast is a Scotsman. Who would've thought?" Althea noticed.
"I have a funny feeling that Stark and McCoy are going to be great drinking buddies." Razor snickered.
Man, the madness will never end! Will the X-Man, Misfits, and Avengers beat each other's brains out? What about the bad guys? What're they up to? Will Thor stop beating Ray with his hammer? Will Hawkeye stop shooting arrows at everyone? Will Pyro quit trying to burn everything down? Nah. Find out in the next chapter!!!
