Blame It On Sakura

Kristy Selean: Hi!! I'm so sorry that this chapter took me forever!! I've been up to a lot of stories and basically doing more research for school stuff.... bleh!! Ok, well, it was winter break when I posted this and it still might be when you're reading it. Ok, anyways, you probably don't want to hear me jabbering about, so I give you the long awaited Chapter 4!

Chapter 4: Disappointment & Grief

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, Sakura-chan."

Sakura sighed as the bell rang, announcing the start of the last period. Sakura pondered over the incident from the night before. If it wasn't Eriol, who else could it be? Sakura knew that nobody was as strong as she or Eriol was except... then again, why would he save her if he started the problem in the beginning? Besides, wasn't it bad enough that he left her behind, never to talk to her again?

"Class, I know you're sick of the same old book reports everytime, so I decided that we should do a composition instead."

The classroom filled up with groans, sighs, and whining as soon as the announcement was made. Not everyone was complaining, however. Some were excited, some didn't really care, and some were, well... asleep.

"Relax, I promise you it will be a lot easier. All you have to do is write up to two pages on a difficult experience you've had, and what you have learned from it."

'Leave it up to Taretu-sensei to come up with something like this. Ugh! He knows I hate writing compositions.'

Soon enough, the English lecture of the day ended and the bell rang, announcing the end of school. Sakura's classmates hopped out of their seats while the sleepyheads of the classroom were reaching for their alarm clocks that just didn't happen to be there. Of course, everyone knows that the easiest way to get busted was to pull on the girl's hair in hopes of turning off the "alarm clock." Unfortunately, Yamakazi ended up pulling Chiharu's hair as she was packing up by using this method, earning a slap from his girlfriend and a full week's lunch detention with the teacher. Sakura ran out of the classroom, nervously grabbed her things from the locker, and ran out the school's main entrance only to bump into someone whom she didn't know was there.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I just..."

"Sakura-chan. What a nice surprise seeing you here!"

Sakura looked up to meet the gaze of someone whose voice she instantly recognized and smiled with a flush of embarrasment on her face.

"Ookami."

"Hey, Sakura..."

Tomoyo saw that Sakura was a little busy with someone else. At first she frowned after studying each of their expressions, but soon curled it into a smile. Tomoyo joined in the conversation until it was time to go home to prepare for Sakura's first practice. Tomoyo and Sakura walked home to gather their things for practice and the after practice homework club.

*~* Sakura's Room *~*

Sakura dropped her bag and jumped onto the bed, almost flattening a tail who's owner was reading the instructions to his newest video game. Kero jerked his tail away just in time to have only one hair get plucked from Sakura's sudden landing on the bed. The Guardian Beast of the Seal stared at his "beautiful tail" and started to wail when he realized he was missing a single strand of hair.

"Sakura!! Look what you did to my precious tail!!!"

"It looks fine to me."

"I'm missing a strand of hair!!"

"Oh brother. Kero, just be glad I didn't squish your instruction booklet."

Kero immediately jumped and grabbed the instructions and held them tightly, ready to defend it against anything and everything. Sakura sighed, rolled her eyes, and smiled before waving a bit of magic at Kero, causing the booklet to fly on its own, dragging Kero with it across the ceiling. When Sakura got tired from laughing at Kero's shrill screeches, Sakura waved again and let the booklet come back down on her bed with a wind-blown Kero still clutching onto it for dear life.

"Clow never did that to me! He never dared to!!!"

"Yeah, but Clow never gave you pudding either."

Kero sighed and bowed his head in defeat as Sakura became deep in her thoughts. Kero flew up to her and asked what was bothering her when Sakura explained about the night before. Kero knew that he had been sleeping all day yesterday and Sakura doesn't try to wake him up after what he did last time to Touya when he tried to... Touya's finger was swollen for a week and the teeth marks probably still remained on his poor index finger that he used to poke Kero with.

"That's not all of it. The news gets even more complicating."

"How?"

"He came back..."

Kero sighed as he sat Indian style while still floating in the air, crossing his arms, and furrowing his eyebrows into a frustrated state. Sakura stared down at the patterns on her bed while she thought of the times that he had saved her that night. From the wind to catch her that he oftenly did in the nick of time whenever they were capturing cards and then healing her which she had never seen him do until that night. All of these events flooded back into Sakura and made her sad, happy, and just confused at the same time. She was happy to see him again, sad that she knew he would never be with her, and confused as to why he ever came back in the beginning. Then there was Ookami. He reminded her of Syaoran just a bit, but upon closer look, his eyes were not amber, but a very dark brown, almost being black. He acted just as Syaoran use to before heading off back to China.

"Syaoran..."

*~* Flashback *~*

"Sakura-san, remember when I told you how I felt?"

"Yes, Li-kun. I've made up my mind. I realized that I do care about you in the same way."

"I see."

Syaoran turned his head away from her and bit his lip with a deep look of concentration on his face. Sakura watched him with great anxiety, not knowing what to expect. Weren't people suppose to be happy if you liked them back?

"Sakura-san, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"I'm going back to China."

Sakura's shocked expression of horror ran all across her face as she broke out into a cold sweat. Here she was, expecting a good answer after having to cry her eyes out for so many days after she heard the news, and he's leaving her?

"But why?"

"Family business."

"Are you sure it's not a mistake? I mean, the last time you said that, you stayed."

"Last time, strange things still happened. Now, everything is solved, and you have Eriol to help you if something goes wrong again."

"Then at least tell me the truth as to why you're leaving."

Syaoran was surprised she saw through it. He didn't expect her to have a feeling about it at all, considering she was still naive yet loveable. Syaoran was going to be ashamed, and he knew it. He turned his head toward the horizon one las time before facing Sakura directly in the eyes. Syaoran braced Sakura by putting his hands on her shoulders, making her startled.

"Sakura..."

*~* End of Flashback *~*

'I don't want to think about it... Still, it keeps coming back.'

'Sakura, I'm going to China because I have to marry Meilin. After I'm married, I can no longer communicate with you. I'm sorry.'

Sakura's eyes started to swell up with tears, but she immediately shunned them away. When Kero noticed that his mistress was going through the memories again, he flew by her side and gave her a hug in hopes of cheering her up. This only made Sakura start to break down and get even worse. Sakura eventually started to shed her tears silently as Kero patted her shoulders in an effort to comfort her.

"I wish I knew how to cast a spell to make you forget about him, Sakura. I'm sorry. Some help I turned out to be. I can guard your body from harm, but your heart is vulnerable no matter what I try to do."

"You've done all you can, Kero, and I'm grateful for every minute you've spent beside me."

Kero continued to comfort his mistress as her tears dried up, and she started to calm down as the minutes passed by.

'Damn you, Chinese gaki! If you ever meet me face-to-face ever again, I swear you'll never see the light of day ever again!'

(I'm sorry I had to cuss there. I really didn't want to, but the effect was necessary. I guess you can tell I'm not usually the type of person to ever cuss.... ok, back to where we were.)

*~* At Practice *~*

"You nervous?"

"Why would you say that, Tomoyo?"

"I don't know. I just thought it would be hard to go back after that fall and all."

Sakura slammed her gymn locker shut, still ignoring Tomoyo who was by her side. She then stared straight ahead and turned to her friend with serious and focused eyes.

"I'm not one bit nervous."

"Well, I would be."

"I'm not you!"

Sakura snapped at her best friend. As she saw the hurt expression on Tomoyo's face, Sakura instantly felt sorry and ashamed for what she said. Then slowly, she realized that truly, she was nervous and scared. Terrified to be exact.

"Tomoyo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. It's just, it's hard..."

"I understand. Don't worry, Sakura. I'm sure you'll be just fine."

"Me too."

Sakura knew she was lying and so did Tomoyo. Sakura could only hope she could hide that from her best friend and pray that the advice that Ookami gave her would work. The two friends walked out of the locker room and headed toward the mat where the others were waiting for them. Everyone smiled back at her, even Meilin. Sakura just wanted everything to go back to normal when Syaoran's name was nonexistant, she was perfectly in shape and was one of the stars of the team, and when she wasn't... afraid. Sakura knew that would be impossible, especially when the cousin/fiancee of the one she happened to fear and dread was standing right in front of her.

"Alright, ladies. It's good to have Sakura back! Finally, a practice with our little Blue Star, but with a little bit of practice, our razzle-dazzle Sakura-chan's gonna get back on her feet again. Let's get it going with the stretches! Oh yes, and Sakura, please, nothing fancy until I'm positive nothing can happen, okay?"

"Word of honor!"

Somehow, Sakura knew that wasn't going to be a hard promise to keep. Everyone took their place on the mat. Sakura notcied that Meilin took a seat beside her. As they went through their series of backbends and leg stretches, Sakura was breathing hard and was getting tired. Normally she'd feel great when it was over, but now, Sakura just felt sore all over.

"Alright. Now let's go over the group floor routine."

Everyone became serious. This routine was played to "The Blue Danube Waltz" and was quite challenging with lots of switch-leaps and triple turns. As the tinkling notes started to play, Chiharu counted off the three counts and then they sprang into action. It may have been Sakura's imagination, but she thought that she felt a twinge in her ankle just then. She went into her first move: a simple walkover into a flic-flac, or a back handstand. She was feeling a bit shaky, but she felt okay. However, during her next set of combinations, Sakura's heart jumped, and she felt terrified.

'What if I don't do the pirouette right? What if I fall and hurt my back or even break a leg or two? What if I crash on my head?'

Sakura came out of that combination with barely an excuse for a leap and landed with a thud almost to her knees. Flustered, Sakura went into her pirouette and started her series of double-turns (spinning around twice on one leg). During the whole routine, Sakura couldn't think about anything but falling. It seemed ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. By the time the routine was over, Sakura knew that her performance had been horrible. Sakura looked up pleadingly to Sonomi; if she scolded her now, she'd fall apart. Her teammates stared at her in clear dismay while Meilin stared at her, compeltely confused.

"Not bad, Sakura. Not great, but not bad. But tell me, why did you cut out the backward salto-triple twist combination in the end?"

"I don't know. My ankle started to feel kinda funny. Like it's tingling or something."

"Really? Maybe you should sit down then. I don't want to aggravate it."

"No, it's okay. I want to go as far as I can today."

"Okay, then let's go over to the beam. Sakura, why don't you go first?"

Sakura started to get very very nervous as she mounted the beam. It seemed like a long way down. Sakura reminded herself that it was only four feet, but standing on a narrow piece of wood made it look like a lot higher than what it was. First, Sakura did a simple forward jump. Her heartbeat sped up as she decided to do her next move. Next, she did a forward walkover. It was a simple move, but as soon as she was upside-down, Sakura's heart jumped in her throat. Her knees felt like Jell-o, and she knew she must look awful, but she forced herself to count backward from 100 to relieve herself a bit. As soon as it was time for a flic-flac, Sakura started shaking all over and barely managed to go through it. Sakura stretched her arms out gracefully and lifted her leg into an arabesque, but the shaking was really fierce.

"Sakura, are you okay up there?"

"I don't know. My ankle's starting to throb again."

"Then you'd better come down."

"Maybe I should go home to rest it."

"That's a good idea. Meilin, why don't you get up and Tomoyo spot her. Sakura, do you need a ride?"

"No, it's okay. I can ride the bus or have Touya drive me home."

Sakura walked out of the gymn, grabbed her things and stepped outside. She saw it; she saw it all - the worried faces of her friends, Meilin's confusion, and Sonomi's disappointment. She didn't need anymore torture. Just as she walked toward the bus stop, Sakura's ankle became wobbly again and Sakura fell to the ground. Realizing that she skimmed her knee on the sidewalk, Sakura started searching in her gymn bag for some tissues or anything else that could be used to stop the bleeding. She knew at this rate, she'd never get home. Suddenly, someone handed her a green handkerchief. Sakura looked up and found her friend of fourth grade standing in front of her, ready to assist when she needed help. Sakura's eyes filled up with tears as she felt his green aura again, shining right in front of her, willingly assisting to help her. Syaoran helped tie the handkerchief on her knee and carried her home on his back. Sakura wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder and cried. After all that they've been through and even after that dramatic ending of their chances of being together, he was still there for her even though he was only as a close friend. (hm... Now we can change that. ^-^) Sakura couldn't find a way to make it up to him. She just continued to cry on his shoulder and barely managed to whisper her thanks to him.

"Arigato, Syaoran-kun."

Syaoran flinched slightly at hearing her response, but answered back in a low whisper.

"Your welcome."

He continued his walk, carrying her down the block while people stared at the two close friends. It seemed amazing that even though they were sad, they seemed happy together. Syaoran didn't say a word, even when they reached her house. Syaoran carried Sakura as he climbed up the tree nearest to her window and helped her through there. Kero was a bit surprised to find his beloved mistress on that gaki's back, clutching him as he managed to get through the window without disturbing her mourning session. Syaoran's movements were swift, smooth, and accurate as usual. Kero changed himself to his beast-like self and helped Sakura get into bed. As soon as Syaoran started to leave, Sakura and he exchanged a glance just before he started to leap out of the window.

"Syaoran, wait."

Syaoran stopped in his tracks but didn't bother to turn around. It was his usual treatment to those he didn't talk with very often.

"Why did you come back?"

Syaoran sighed in defeat. He was trying not to talk to Sakura again, but for what reason, Sakura didn't know. He still had his back to her, facing the window in which Sakura could see his reflection. He looked frustrated yet satisfied, mad yet content, and all the other oxymorons of feelings kept within him. Overall, he looked... emotionless.

"The same reason as the last time."

Before Sakura could ask him any more questions, he was already out the window and two blocks away. Sakura sighed and stared a the ceiling. The last time Syaoran stayed in Japan was when those weird things have been happening. Sakura started counting the bumps on the ceiling while her mind started floating back to her birthday during the incidents of Clow's magic.

*~* Flashback *~*

"Come on, Li-kun. You have to give it to her some day and hopefully this year."

Syaoran was being dragged by Yamakazi and Eriol toward the cherry blossom tree that everyone was under and giving Sakura her birthday presents. They were giving it to her now because she was going out to dinner with her family and Yukito. Sakura saw them coming and waved to her three friends who then stopped dragging Syaoran, knowing that he'll come with them peacefully now that Sakura has noticed him. Syaoran sat down in the circle of friends as Sakura opened her presents one by one.

"Rika-chan! Thank you!"

Sakura hugged her friend for giving her the white sun hat with a pink bow that tied some cherry blossoms onto her hat. Sakura put it carefully away in the hat box before opening tomoyo's present. The whole gang sweatdropped as Sakura pulled out... a nightgown. Tomoyo explained that Sakura would look kawaii in it, and that the color suited her well. Sakura thanked Tomoyo for her thoughtfulness and found one last package left. She couldn't really tell who got it for her, but decided to open the tiny box and see for herself. The whole gang gasped as they saw what was inside: a necklace of a gold chain, light pink cherry blossoms made from rare stones, and emeralds making the leaves. Sakura gasped and looked up to see the blushing Syaoran.

"Li-kun... Are you sure I can take this? It looks so expensive."

"It's no problem, but if you don't like it..."

Before Syaoran could say another word, Sakura already pounced on him and was hugging him closely. All her friends were commenting with aww's, whistles, and catcalls while Syaoran was turning crimson red from embarrassment, not to mention Sakura choking him so hard.

"Sa.. Sakura-san.."

"Hai?"

"I'm... choking..."

"Nani?!"

Sakura instantly let go of her friend while the others laughed at how kawaii the couple appeared to be. Tomoyo was recording every moment of it, the girls were planning out their wedding, and Yamakazi and Eriol were betting how many kids they would have in the future.

*~*

'He's changed again. He's back to his quiet self before everything happened, but he's still showing some signs of emotions... It's like he's hiding himself in something, but what is it?'

Sakura heaved a sigh before starting to think about her own problems. About gymnastics, what was she going to do? The next match was going to be soon. Was it possible that she could no longer be a Blue Star? Sakura shuddered at the thought and tried to shake it out of her mind. Sakura propped herself on the bed and stared at the emerald green handkercheif around her knee. Wrapped with care and precision, his aura was still able to be sensed from it.

'I wonder how I can take care of it. It's still going to be stained when I give it back or it might be in an even worse condition. Wait a sec... how am I suppose to even give it back?'

Sakura sighed. He could help her, but she couldn't help him. It was just like this in the past. Now she knew how Syaoran felt. She had to do all the work, seal the cards, and fight the top guys, but he couldn't even help her. Either that or his attempts did little to her advantage. Then Sakura thought about her ankle. She knew that it wasn't her ankle that was hurting her. It was her. Her! Sakura Kinomoto was afraid! And what was worse, Ookami's advice didn't help her one bit. Sakura dropped her head back in the pillows.

'What am I going to do now? The district championships is only 2 week away! Oh, Kami, help me!'

Sakura groaned and turned over in bed. There just HAD to be a way back to her old life. There just had to be...

to be continued...