4.

As the trio arrived at the hospital wing, Hermione and Dumbledore directed them to a bed and soon a pyjama-ed Harry was ensconced in the clean, starched white linen of Hogwarts' hospital wing.  The curtains were drawn around the bed and Harry gripped Severus' hand tighter than a woman in labour.  Madam Pomfrey was gone to look some things up about the after-effects of rape, but the rest remained.

Dumbledore looked concerned – Hermione had come to the same conclusion as Ron about the attacker and shared her suspicion with the headmaster.

"Harry, I hate to ask, but we need to know to help stop this from happening to others.  Harry, who did this to you?"

Harry looked Severus in the eyes despite his fear.

"Sirius…it was Sirius."

Severus looked as though he would explode at the merest friction.

"I'll kill him," he stated, quietly, assuredly.

"No!  No, Sev – he's not worth it.  Please – I won't lose you because of him, please, Severus, please, no, don't.  Send him to Azkaban."

Severus hung his head for a moment and was silent, weighing the circumstance in his head.

"Okay, Harry – I won't kill him.  I can't promise not to inflict serious pain on him if I see him, but I won't do anything illegal.  You won't loose me."

"Don't ever leave me."

"I won't."

"He said you would leave me.  He said everyone would leave me.  He said all I brought was misery and pain."

"You aren't to believe him," came firmly from Ron.

"Yes, Harry – you gave us friendship and love – nothing bad," said Hermione.

Dumbledore asked his second and final question.

"Harry, do you know what…provoked him?"

Harry looked away from Severus and let go of his hand, turning away from his love as he remembered.  He felt…dirty, inside and out.  He had cheated on Severus, even if he hadn't wanted to.  Sirius was right – he was a disgusting slut.

"He saw me…and Severus.  He told me that I was his – that I wasn't allowed to love anyone else because I was hurting him.  He said…he said I was his…"

There was a moment's silence as Harry took a few shuddering breathes and then turned back to Severus, pain in his eyes.

"He said I was dirty – said I was a slut.  He said you wouldn't want me."

Severus tried to console Harry.

"No, Harry, you know that's not true."

"BUT IT IS!" Harry yelled, throat almost giving out halfway through.  He began to sob again.

"So true…not worthy of you.  Dirty, disgusting slut.  Waste of a life."

Severus watched on as he cried, helpless – he hadn't a clue what to do.  Hermione was just crying and Ron and Dumbledore watched the scene in anguish.

"Harry," Severus tried, "Harry, I love you – I'll never leave you, never."

There was no response.

"You didn't do this, Harry.  Black did.  He is a madman – he's not sane."

There was still nothing, though Harry's breathing got more guttural.

"Harry, I'll always want you – you're perfect to me, even now – especially now.  You're beautiful and perfect and I'll always love you and want you, no matter what.  You had no control over this, and I love you even more for surviving it.  You didn't do this – you had no say and I know you would never of your own accord, because I love you and I trust you, with all my heart."

Harry turned back and saw the sincerity in Severus' eyes.  He began sobbing again and Severus stroked his hand gently trying not to scare the boy, until Harry pulled him into a severe hug and he reciprocated, scared by how close he had come to losing Harry today.

"Never leave me."

"Never, Harry."

"I love you so much, Severus.  I'm so sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong, baby.  Shh, now, get some rest."

"You'll not leave?"

"No, love.  I'll be here."

"What if he comes back?"

Severus' grip on Harry tightened.

"No, you're safe here.  If he sets foot in the castle, we'll get him and give him to the Ministry."

"He won't get me?"

"No."

"He said I was his…he kept telling me I was his, but I'm yours."

He pulled back and looked at his lover.

"I'm yours?" he asked in a soft, unsure voice.

"Yes, Harry, for as long as you want.  And I'm yours."

"I'm tired."

"You rest now, baby.  Shh, go to sleep.  I'll be here."

Harry closed his eyes as Severus sat back in the chair, hand still caught in his grip.  His eyes flickered open one more time.

"Love you, Sev."

"Always, Harry."

With another neutral sigh, Harry went to sleep, tear tracks still visible on his face.

Using his free hand, Severus ran his fingers through his hair and pressed between his eyes with his palm, trying to fight off a headache.  Then he remembered that there were others in the room/curtained cubicle thingy.

Speaking quietly but lethally, he addressed the headmaster.

"You will get him and you will not give him any more chances.  You will get him, because I can't.  You will get him, and you will do your worst."

Albus nodded soberly and with one last, sad glance at Harry, left the room to inform the Ministry and other staff members of the tragic events of the afternoon.

Hermione was still sobbing, more quietly now, and Ron was ashen and shivering slightly.

"Professor?"

Severus looked up at the soft address.

"Professor, if we…I mean, anything he needs, just…just tell me and I'll get it."

"Thank you, Mister Weasley."

"He needs you here, so if you need anything, either…we'll get it."

"Yes, Mister…Ronald, thank you."

He looked from the young man to the sobbing girl.

"Hermione."

Hermione looked up, face red and wet with her tears.

"Hermione, there was nothing more anyone could do.  You did everything possible.  Thank you both, on Harry's and my own behalf."

Hermione looked distraught.

"But, Professor, he just…just walked straight up to him and…and did that.  There was nothing to stop him, nothing!  And we all believed him!  We all thought that, that he was okay and that he loved Harry."

Severus looked at Harry.

"I'm afraid even I was taken in by that.  I didn't trust him with anything else, but I always thought that I could trust him with Harry.  Seems I was wrong yet again.  We all were."

"But, if only I had-"

Severus shook his head and cut her off.

"Don't play the 'if' game.  What is done is done and all we can do is try to make things better.  You should go now that he's asleep – see Madam Pomfrey for your shock.  You as well, Ronald."

"Please, it's Ron, sir."

"Very well, but go.  You may come back when she's finished with you, but one seventh year in the infirmary due to this is enough."

"Yes, sir."

Ron took Hermione by the shoulders and led her out of the curtained cubicle and out of Severus' sight.  When they disappeared, Severus put up a quick silencing spell and allowed himself to do what he had wanted to do since he saw Harry this afternoon.  He sobbed, heart wrenching sobs that made him feel nauseous and made his chest and head ache.

Why had this happened?  Everything had just been beginning to go well - he had found Harry and they had defeated Voldemort and the faculty and important people to them knew about their relationship and things were settling down into a steady pattern.  Severus had thought that the next disruption they would have would be at best Harry graduating and at worst the rest of the world finding out about them.

He cursed himself for not having seen this coming and then cursed himself for cursing himself, knowing that for him to blame himself was to blame everyone, including Harry.

No, the only person to blame for this was that bastard, Sirius Black.

"Fuck him," Severus said, in a soft voice, then realising he wouldn't disturb Harry, he it control him, stood, and screamed as loud as his lung capacity would let him.

"Fucking sick bastard!  Fuck you, Black!  Can't you let me keep one thing without hurting it?  Can't you just leave me?  Can't you leave Harry?  Fuck you!"

Throat sore, head aching, he slipped unnoticed past Mediwitch and patients and into the store of medical potions to get a painkiller.  On his way back, however, he was accosted by Madam Pomfrey.

"Severus, you sent Mister Weasley and Miss Granger to me in case of shock.  Now I want to examine you."

"I'm not in shock, I'm just angry."

"Severus, please?"

Severus sighed and plonked himself down on a bed, furtively looking at Harry's curtains.

"But be quick about it."

"His friends are with him and he's asleep now.  This won't take long."

She checked him over for signs of shock, pronounced him fine, made him drink a calming potion anyway and let him get back to Harry.

*