Blame It On Sakura
Kristy Selean: Hi!! Yes, it has been another forever since I've updated this story, but I'm here, right? Plus, I've already mapped out the next chappie, so it won't be too long before I update again. Yay! All right, so, I hope you enjoy this chappie. Let me know how you like it, k? Oh, wait, one bad news and good news before we go on to the fic. The bad news is that we don't get to find out much about Syaoran in this chapter. The good news is that this is the beginning of the happy arc or the end of the sad arc, whichever way you want to look at it, so hang in there!
Chapter 7: Just a Little Bit of Sunshine
Sakura tiptoed into her house through the back door. Hopefully, just hopefully she could fool him just this once...
"Sakura?" he called as he washed the dishes.
Nope. Can't fool a half reincarnation of Clow Reed. Sakura sighed softly so he wouldn't hear her.
"Tadaima."
Sakura tried to make her voice sound like her usual cheerful self to no avail. Her voice cracked in the middle of her greeting, leaving plenty of room for her sad tone to come out. Fujitaka turned off the facet when he heard her voice crack. Something was wrong; it was all too clearly written somewhere in the atomosphere. When he saw Sakura's tearstained face, he immediately dropped the dishes and flung the gloves from his hands. Fujitaka kneeled and embraced his daughter.
"Sakura, what's wrong?"
Sakura tried to squirm free of her father's hug only to find that she couldn't fight back. It felt much more comforting to just let herself be embraced than to run away. Sakura sighed.
"Nothing, nothing's wrong."
Fujitaka sighed just as his daughter had done. He knew she wasn't telling the truth. He was a half reincarnation of the greatest sorcerer alive, for goodness sakes! And yet, he couldn't do anything here...
"Sakura, you've been upset ever since the accident. I've checked in with Doctor Foster many times already, so I know he would have told me something if there was a problem," he answered slowly as he held her shoulders.
Sakura looked away in hopes of hiding her tears. The last thing she wanted was for her kind father to worry about her. If only she didn't try to do that move on the bars. If only she didn't fall off the beam. If only she didn't get in the accident! Fujitaka looked into his daughter's eyes and understood everything.
"You're still having trouble pulling yourself together after the accident, aren't you? Every time you come back from gymnastics, you're always upset," Fujitaka replied knowingly.
Sakura nodded. How she longed to just spill her tears and tell her father exactly how she felt and what was really going on at practice! But how? The whole problem was just so big and complicated she didn't even know where to begin if she wanted to.
"Sakura," her father continued softly "if you ever want to talk about it, I'll always listen. Sharing your problems never makes it any worse, after all."
'Was that really true?' Sakura wondered.
And if it was, why did she feel that this was one problem she couldn't share with anyone? Sakura hugged Fujitaka.
"Arigato, otousan," Sakura whispered just before heading upstairs to do her homework. Normally, Sakura wouldn't go straight up to do her homework. She would watch TV or call a few of her friends for a while, but not today, especially because they weren't her friends anymore.
Sakura entered her room and got ready to do her assignment for Japanese. She was assigned that essay a long time ago, but, of course, being a procrastinator and all, she neglected to do it until the day before it was due.
Sakura stared down at her Japanese notebook and frowned. She never had a problem with Japanese, but ever since the...incident with Syaoran's leave, her grades had started slipping, especially in Math and Japanese. It was like some sort of a curse. Still, these things really didn't bother Sakura. If she couldn't be a great gymnast, she would definitely be a model or a fashion designer with Tomoyo one day: Famous, Fearless Kinomoto Sakura. But that was before. Now who was she?
Kinomoto the Flop?
Sakura shook her head and read the assignment. Write about something hard you've gone through and what you learned from it. Sakura pulled out a blank sheet of notebook paper. What in the world would she write about? Sakura slumped over in her chair as she tapped her pencil on the desk and held her chin in her palm. Sakura sighed. Japanese was never her favorite class, but she didn't hate it either. Besides, Japanese was Tomoyo's favorite subject. What could she do?
Suddenly, Sakura felt the tips of her fingers prickle. In a flash, she knew what to write about.
'I am a gymnast, and everyone used to call me Fearless,' she scrawled across the page. 'That was my name - Fearless Kinomoto. Then, one day, I had an accident.'
Sakura's fingers danced over the page. She could never remember anything so easily. She wrote about how after the accident she kept thinking about gymnasts taking tumbles all over the place. She wrote about how her dad and everyone else thought she was coping so well at first that she didn't dare let them think otherwise.
'I couldn't think how to let anyone know the truth,' Sakura scribbled, 'that I, once Fearless, was a secret fraidy-cat!'
Sakura took a quick glance at the instructions again when the last part hit her. ...and what you've learned...
'What have I learned? That being afraid is no fun at all?' Sakura thought dismally.
Sakura took a deep breath and, writing a little slower, she continued.
'People think people never change, but this experience taught me that they do. Something can happen anytime that can make the whole world different. That's what the accident did to me. In a flash, I changed from a Sakura who was never afraid to one who can't feel anything but fear. I am still scared, but I am trying to get over it. Also, in trying, I learned that real courage isn't when you don't know the meaning of fear; it is when you are really scared, but you do something anyway.'
Sakura put down her pencil and swallowed. Gymnastics always reminded her of her past. Eversince Syaoran left...Sakura poured everything into gymnastics. Gymnastics changed her from her sad, quiet state back to the cheerful, spunky girl everyone loved. Gymnastics saved her once. Now what could save her from gymnasics?
Suddenly, the card mistress froze and peeked at the window. She was positive she saw a flash of green somewhere...Sakura shook her head. Maybe she was just imagining things. Suddenly, something snapped in the back of Sakura's mind. Something or someone was there. Sakura closed her eyes and reached out with her mind when she noticed a faint, but familiar aura in the background.
"Syaoran," she whispered.
A rap at the window snapped Sakura out of her reverie. Sakura ran to open the window for her guest.
"Syaoran? What are you doing here?" she asked as she closed the window and he walked in.
"Just checking up on you," he answered.
Sakura smiled as Syaoran gingerly walked around, glancing around the room. Syaoran paused at her desk and lifted up the paper she had been writing on.
'No! Don't read it!' Sakura thought helplessly.
Syaoran paused and looked up at her. Sakura's eyes widened. Did he read her thoughts? What just happened? Syaoran headed over to where she stood. Sakura felt he knees weaken when he came close to her and peered into her eyes. Sakura turned her eyes away as Syaoran frowned.
"Why shouldn't I read it?" he asked.
Sakura's eyes widened. She knew it! He could read her thoughts! But how? Sakura suddenly became afraid. What if he looked into her mind, her heart. What if...what if he found out that...she still liked him! Sakura felt her heartbeat speed up as she panicked. Maybe her outward appearance seemed calm enough, but her afraid eyes and slight trembling gave her away. Syaoran shook his head.
"I don't know how I did it either. Maybe you projected your thoughts to me. All I know is, that was the first time something like that happened, so don't panic."
Sakura felt herself relax just a bit, but just to be sure, she sat down at the edge of the bed as Syaoran's eyes scanned over her page of work. Sakura lowered her gaze with shame. He was actually reading it! Syaoran finished reading it with a little difficulty and placed it back on her desk.
"You should tell them."
"I know," Sakura whispered as she choked down the tears that threatened her eyes.
Sakura started as the phone rang on her dresser. For a moment, she almost reached out and grabbed it. Touya had always complained about the phone bills that she put on her father. That was because the Blue Stars were always calling one another aobut practice, the homework club, or just for chatting. Sakura frowned. None of the Blue Stars would be calling tonight- or anytime soon.
Just then, Sakura heard the phone get picked up. She looked up to see Syaoran holding the phone for her. Sakura sent him her best death glare that she could manage at the moment while Syaoran just grinned and shrugged. Sakura rolled her eyes.
'Then again, he could be awfully cute at times...Ack! Sakura, what are you thinking?'
"Hello?" Sakura greeted over the receiver.
"Sakura? It's me."
Sakura paused. Well, speak of the devil.
"Tomoyo?"
"Yeah, it's me," Tomoyo answered.
Sakura let out a long breath, "Listen, Tomoyo, I'm really glad you called. I thought you'd be so mad at me, you wouldn't want to talk for a wekk. I, I'm really sorry for what I said, about you not catching me. That was just totally unfair."
Syaoran raised an eyebrow.
"That's okay," Tomoyo replied after a moment. "I'm sorry, too. I mean, I'm sorry we've been pushing you to get better so fast."
Sakura sighed. "That's okay," she said in a small voice.
"I don't know if it is," Tomoyo said sincerely. "Things aren't going well with us Blue Stars-as a team or as friends." Tomoyo paused. "That's why I'm calling. I think you and I should meet tomorrow before school to talk about everything. I know we could do it on the phone, but..."
"Yeah, I know," said Sakura. "The phone's not the best way to talk when you have really important things to say."
"Exactly. So can we meet tomorrow at 7:15 at the steps at school? I think it's important we talk."
Sakura hesitated. "I don't know, I...ouch!"
Sakura rubbed the spot on her arm that Syaoran pinched as she sent him another death glare. Syaoran shrugged yet again.
"Sakura! Are you okay?" called Tomoyo.
"Yeah, I'm fine. The neighbor's dog was using my arm for a chew toy."
Sakura heard Tomoyo's infamous laughter echoing from the other end of the phone. Sakura jerked the phone away from her ear and squinted one eye shut as Syaoran sighed. That laugh was all Tomoyo, all right.
"Sakura, I bet I know what's going on!" Tomoyo squealed.
"What?"
Sakura returned the phone to her ear.
"Somebody else is in the room, aren't they?"
Sakura smiled. That Tomoyo and her instincts.
"Yeah. Someone who likes to pinch. Tomoyo about the meeting..."
"Sakura, you're my best friend. If you won't talk to me, who will you talk to?"
Sakura sighed. "Okay. I'll meet you on the back school steps at 7:15," she replied. "And I promise I'll be on time," she added on an later note.
Tomoyo chucked softly. Knowing Sakura, this was probably yet another promise of being on time that she would have to break. Still, it was fun to tease her over it. "You'd better be," Tomoyo replied.
"I will."
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."
"Bye."
Sakura hung up the phone. She felt better than she had in days. It was weird, but knowing she was finally going to have to tell someone the truth was actually a relief, especially since that someone was Tomoyo. After all, Tomoyo was her best friend. If she couldn't understand, who could? She heard her window open.
"I'll watch for you tomorrow morning," he called over his shoulder as he climbed out and jumped.
Sakura got up and walked to the window. She waved at Syaoran who waved back before closing the window and walking back to her desk. Sakura started feeling a little shaky when another realization hit her. Fearless Kinomoto? Fraidy-Cat Kinomoto? Which one was the real her?
Kristy Selean: Hi!! Yes, it has been another forever since I've updated this story, but I'm here, right? Plus, I've already mapped out the next chappie, so it won't be too long before I update again. Yay! All right, so, I hope you enjoy this chappie. Let me know how you like it, k? Oh, wait, one bad news and good news before we go on to the fic. The bad news is that we don't get to find out much about Syaoran in this chapter. The good news is that this is the beginning of the happy arc or the end of the sad arc, whichever way you want to look at it, so hang in there!
Chapter 7: Just a Little Bit of Sunshine
Sakura tiptoed into her house through the back door. Hopefully, just hopefully she could fool him just this once...
"Sakura?" he called as he washed the dishes.
Nope. Can't fool a half reincarnation of Clow Reed. Sakura sighed softly so he wouldn't hear her.
"Tadaima."
Sakura tried to make her voice sound like her usual cheerful self to no avail. Her voice cracked in the middle of her greeting, leaving plenty of room for her sad tone to come out. Fujitaka turned off the facet when he heard her voice crack. Something was wrong; it was all too clearly written somewhere in the atomosphere. When he saw Sakura's tearstained face, he immediately dropped the dishes and flung the gloves from his hands. Fujitaka kneeled and embraced his daughter.
"Sakura, what's wrong?"
Sakura tried to squirm free of her father's hug only to find that she couldn't fight back. It felt much more comforting to just let herself be embraced than to run away. Sakura sighed.
"Nothing, nothing's wrong."
Fujitaka sighed just as his daughter had done. He knew she wasn't telling the truth. He was a half reincarnation of the greatest sorcerer alive, for goodness sakes! And yet, he couldn't do anything here...
"Sakura, you've been upset ever since the accident. I've checked in with Doctor Foster many times already, so I know he would have told me something if there was a problem," he answered slowly as he held her shoulders.
Sakura looked away in hopes of hiding her tears. The last thing she wanted was for her kind father to worry about her. If only she didn't try to do that move on the bars. If only she didn't fall off the beam. If only she didn't get in the accident! Fujitaka looked into his daughter's eyes and understood everything.
"You're still having trouble pulling yourself together after the accident, aren't you? Every time you come back from gymnastics, you're always upset," Fujitaka replied knowingly.
Sakura nodded. How she longed to just spill her tears and tell her father exactly how she felt and what was really going on at practice! But how? The whole problem was just so big and complicated she didn't even know where to begin if she wanted to.
"Sakura," her father continued softly "if you ever want to talk about it, I'll always listen. Sharing your problems never makes it any worse, after all."
'Was that really true?' Sakura wondered.
And if it was, why did she feel that this was one problem she couldn't share with anyone? Sakura hugged Fujitaka.
"Arigato, otousan," Sakura whispered just before heading upstairs to do her homework. Normally, Sakura wouldn't go straight up to do her homework. She would watch TV or call a few of her friends for a while, but not today, especially because they weren't her friends anymore.
Sakura entered her room and got ready to do her assignment for Japanese. She was assigned that essay a long time ago, but, of course, being a procrastinator and all, she neglected to do it until the day before it was due.
Sakura stared down at her Japanese notebook and frowned. She never had a problem with Japanese, but ever since the...incident with Syaoran's leave, her grades had started slipping, especially in Math and Japanese. It was like some sort of a curse. Still, these things really didn't bother Sakura. If she couldn't be a great gymnast, she would definitely be a model or a fashion designer with Tomoyo one day: Famous, Fearless Kinomoto Sakura. But that was before. Now who was she?
Kinomoto the Flop?
Sakura shook her head and read the assignment. Write about something hard you've gone through and what you learned from it. Sakura pulled out a blank sheet of notebook paper. What in the world would she write about? Sakura slumped over in her chair as she tapped her pencil on the desk and held her chin in her palm. Sakura sighed. Japanese was never her favorite class, but she didn't hate it either. Besides, Japanese was Tomoyo's favorite subject. What could she do?
Suddenly, Sakura felt the tips of her fingers prickle. In a flash, she knew what to write about.
'I am a gymnast, and everyone used to call me Fearless,' she scrawled across the page. 'That was my name - Fearless Kinomoto. Then, one day, I had an accident.'
Sakura's fingers danced over the page. She could never remember anything so easily. She wrote about how after the accident she kept thinking about gymnasts taking tumbles all over the place. She wrote about how her dad and everyone else thought she was coping so well at first that she didn't dare let them think otherwise.
'I couldn't think how to let anyone know the truth,' Sakura scribbled, 'that I, once Fearless, was a secret fraidy-cat!'
Sakura took a quick glance at the instructions again when the last part hit her. ...and what you've learned...
'What have I learned? That being afraid is no fun at all?' Sakura thought dismally.
Sakura took a deep breath and, writing a little slower, she continued.
'People think people never change, but this experience taught me that they do. Something can happen anytime that can make the whole world different. That's what the accident did to me. In a flash, I changed from a Sakura who was never afraid to one who can't feel anything but fear. I am still scared, but I am trying to get over it. Also, in trying, I learned that real courage isn't when you don't know the meaning of fear; it is when you are really scared, but you do something anyway.'
Sakura put down her pencil and swallowed. Gymnastics always reminded her of her past. Eversince Syaoran left...Sakura poured everything into gymnastics. Gymnastics changed her from her sad, quiet state back to the cheerful, spunky girl everyone loved. Gymnastics saved her once. Now what could save her from gymnasics?
Suddenly, the card mistress froze and peeked at the window. She was positive she saw a flash of green somewhere...Sakura shook her head. Maybe she was just imagining things. Suddenly, something snapped in the back of Sakura's mind. Something or someone was there. Sakura closed her eyes and reached out with her mind when she noticed a faint, but familiar aura in the background.
"Syaoran," she whispered.
A rap at the window snapped Sakura out of her reverie. Sakura ran to open the window for her guest.
"Syaoran? What are you doing here?" she asked as she closed the window and he walked in.
"Just checking up on you," he answered.
Sakura smiled as Syaoran gingerly walked around, glancing around the room. Syaoran paused at her desk and lifted up the paper she had been writing on.
'No! Don't read it!' Sakura thought helplessly.
Syaoran paused and looked up at her. Sakura's eyes widened. Did he read her thoughts? What just happened? Syaoran headed over to where she stood. Sakura felt he knees weaken when he came close to her and peered into her eyes. Sakura turned her eyes away as Syaoran frowned.
"Why shouldn't I read it?" he asked.
Sakura's eyes widened. She knew it! He could read her thoughts! But how? Sakura suddenly became afraid. What if he looked into her mind, her heart. What if...what if he found out that...she still liked him! Sakura felt her heartbeat speed up as she panicked. Maybe her outward appearance seemed calm enough, but her afraid eyes and slight trembling gave her away. Syaoran shook his head.
"I don't know how I did it either. Maybe you projected your thoughts to me. All I know is, that was the first time something like that happened, so don't panic."
Sakura felt herself relax just a bit, but just to be sure, she sat down at the edge of the bed as Syaoran's eyes scanned over her page of work. Sakura lowered her gaze with shame. He was actually reading it! Syaoran finished reading it with a little difficulty and placed it back on her desk.
"You should tell them."
"I know," Sakura whispered as she choked down the tears that threatened her eyes.
Sakura started as the phone rang on her dresser. For a moment, she almost reached out and grabbed it. Touya had always complained about the phone bills that she put on her father. That was because the Blue Stars were always calling one another aobut practice, the homework club, or just for chatting. Sakura frowned. None of the Blue Stars would be calling tonight- or anytime soon.
Just then, Sakura heard the phone get picked up. She looked up to see Syaoran holding the phone for her. Sakura sent him her best death glare that she could manage at the moment while Syaoran just grinned and shrugged. Sakura rolled her eyes.
'Then again, he could be awfully cute at times...Ack! Sakura, what are you thinking?'
"Hello?" Sakura greeted over the receiver.
"Sakura? It's me."
Sakura paused. Well, speak of the devil.
"Tomoyo?"
"Yeah, it's me," Tomoyo answered.
Sakura let out a long breath, "Listen, Tomoyo, I'm really glad you called. I thought you'd be so mad at me, you wouldn't want to talk for a wekk. I, I'm really sorry for what I said, about you not catching me. That was just totally unfair."
Syaoran raised an eyebrow.
"That's okay," Tomoyo replied after a moment. "I'm sorry, too. I mean, I'm sorry we've been pushing you to get better so fast."
Sakura sighed. "That's okay," she said in a small voice.
"I don't know if it is," Tomoyo said sincerely. "Things aren't going well with us Blue Stars-as a team or as friends." Tomoyo paused. "That's why I'm calling. I think you and I should meet tomorrow before school to talk about everything. I know we could do it on the phone, but..."
"Yeah, I know," said Sakura. "The phone's not the best way to talk when you have really important things to say."
"Exactly. So can we meet tomorrow at 7:15 at the steps at school? I think it's important we talk."
Sakura hesitated. "I don't know, I...ouch!"
Sakura rubbed the spot on her arm that Syaoran pinched as she sent him another death glare. Syaoran shrugged yet again.
"Sakura! Are you okay?" called Tomoyo.
"Yeah, I'm fine. The neighbor's dog was using my arm for a chew toy."
Sakura heard Tomoyo's infamous laughter echoing from the other end of the phone. Sakura jerked the phone away from her ear and squinted one eye shut as Syaoran sighed. That laugh was all Tomoyo, all right.
"Sakura, I bet I know what's going on!" Tomoyo squealed.
"What?"
Sakura returned the phone to her ear.
"Somebody else is in the room, aren't they?"
Sakura smiled. That Tomoyo and her instincts.
"Yeah. Someone who likes to pinch. Tomoyo about the meeting..."
"Sakura, you're my best friend. If you won't talk to me, who will you talk to?"
Sakura sighed. "Okay. I'll meet you on the back school steps at 7:15," she replied. "And I promise I'll be on time," she added on an later note.
Tomoyo chucked softly. Knowing Sakura, this was probably yet another promise of being on time that she would have to break. Still, it was fun to tease her over it. "You'd better be," Tomoyo replied.
"I will."
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."
"Bye."
Sakura hung up the phone. She felt better than she had in days. It was weird, but knowing she was finally going to have to tell someone the truth was actually a relief, especially since that someone was Tomoyo. After all, Tomoyo was her best friend. If she couldn't understand, who could? She heard her window open.
"I'll watch for you tomorrow morning," he called over his shoulder as he climbed out and jumped.
Sakura got up and walked to the window. She waved at Syaoran who waved back before closing the window and walking back to her desk. Sakura started feeling a little shaky when another realization hit her. Fearless Kinomoto? Fraidy-Cat Kinomoto? Which one was the real her?
