8.

In the absence of Severus' heat beside him, Harry pulled his covers further over him for warmth and comfort.  He was alone with the officer from the DLE – the physiologist; Geraldine, and feeling uncomfortable because it was the first time Severus had left him since it had happened.

"What…what am supposed to do now?" he asked the smiling woman.

"We're going to chat about how you feel about what happened, some possible side-effects of your trauma and some ways you can make yourself more comfortable."

Harry nodded.

"Okay, so we both know what happened – I was here when you told the inspector."

Harry shrugged, trying not to think about it.

"Your boyfriend seems to be very supportive."

Harry smiled properly as he thought just how great Severus was being, and at the fact that the woman was asking a question without it being a question.

 "He loves me."

Then he frowned.

"I thought Sirius loved me, but he never actually said it – I just realised that."

"Severus said it a lot just then."

"Yeah."

"Do you believe him?"

"I…want to."

"But you don't know who you can trust now."

"Maybe.  I trusted Sirius and then he did that."

"It seems to me that Sirius may be a sick man.  He spent a lot of time in Azkaban when it was ran by the Dementors, didn't he?"

"About twelve years or so."

"I think that maybe Sirius wasn't strong enough to come out after that amount of time and not be mentally unstable."

"Severus was in Azkaban."

"Really?  For how long?"

"About a fortnight, but that was years ago."

"When he was on trial for being a follower of the Dark Lord."

"Yeah – he stayed there until they let Dumbledore plead his case as a spy.  I don't think it affected him that way, though – he wasn't there for very long, and besides, he's a very strong man.  He just has nightmares every so often.  Sirius always seemed so happy, but Severus never hides that he was there and that it affected him."

"So you think you can trust him."

"I love him, and I trust him, I do, it's just…I feel a little insecure now, because of what Sirius said."

"What did he say?"

"That I only brought trouble.  That I was dirty and spoiled.  That Severus wouldn't want me anymore.  That I was a waste of a life.  And the thing is, I know I shouldn't believe him, but it's hard not to, do you know what I mean?"

"Harry, does Severus treat you any differently now than he did before?"

"He's telling me he loves me more, and he's more protective, but I think that might wear off after a while – it's just because it's so soon after.  Uhm…he's actually not being any different except…he seems more ready to show affection in public."

"Is that good or bad?"

"Good, I guess.  I just never expected him to.  It's nice to know I'm worth more to him than his reputation and that – nobody outside our immediate friends knew until now, and he doesn't seem to care that everyone else is going to find out.  It's nice to know that, but otherwise, I guess he's not any different from before."

"Before, did you believe that Severus loved you?"

"Yes."

"So if he's not acting any differently from then, do you think maybe you can believe that what Sirius said isn't true?  And that Severus and your friends aren't going to listen to a word he had to say, because they love you, even now?"

Harry thought long and hard about what she was saying, amazed that she had gotten right down to the heart of his problem so quickly.

"I think, maybe…maybe I do believe them and not Sirius.  It doesn't stop me from flinching away, though.  I hate it, because I trust them and I know it's got to be hurting them to think I don't."

"Harry, that reaction is, in your case, purely involuntary.  Almost every rape victim I have come across has reacted in a similar way.  You may also experience flashbacks or jumpiness among other things, and I'll give you a pamphlet before I go about that, but you have to know that if they love you and you let them know that you trust them, you will overcome this.  To begin with, as well, there are ways around it.  You can instigate all contact, which will give you more control.  You can limit who you see and speak to, as well.  You seemed to respond well to Severus' touching.  Is there anyone else who would touch you in daily routine that you wouldn't be so comfortable with right now?"

"My best friends – they would do things like put their hands on my shoulders and stuff like that.  God, it seems so trivial, but the idea of them doing it when I don't expect it makes me shiver."

"So you talk to them and let them know not to unless you ask them to.  I can't guarantee they'll remember all the time, but I'm sure they'll try their best.  Anyone else?"

Harry violently shuddered as he remembered Molly Weasley's reactions to him after these types of situation.

"Missus Weasley.  She hugs me a lot."

"And she is…?"

"My friend Ron's mum – Mister Weasley's wife.  She's always been really nice to me and I've stayed with her a load of times – she's really great, but a bit overwhelming sometimes, and she'll probably try to hug me as soon as she comes in."

"Again, just let her know how you feel, and if you're really worried, get someone else to tell her before she arrives.  Is there anything else you're worried about…?"

The conversation carried on for a good while longer until Harry felt a bit more confident and a lot more at ease with himself and his surroundings.  He looked at the clock and realised that he had been talking alone with Geraldine for over two hours.

She smiled when he realised this, bid him goodbye to see her again in a month for a sort of mental check-up and gave him a chocolate frog (to 'supplement awful hospital-wing food') and the pamphlet.

As soon as she left, Severus came in and unsurely sat down next to him.

"Sev, I love you, and I don't want to hurt you, but…can you not touch me unless I ask you to?  It's not that I don't trust you or don't want to be touched by you, it's just the opposite – it want to be able to hold you without thinking about it and if I ask you, I'll maybe feel more in control and-"

"Harry," Severus broke into the rush of pleads and explanations with a slight smile on his face, "Harry, love I'll do anything to help you."

"Come sit by me again?"

Severus got up and sat down beside Harry.

"Put your arm around me?"

A warm, strong arm went round him and pulled him to a muscular chest.  He looked up into pools of midnight.

"Kiss me?"

Slightly surprised, but ready to do anything for Harry, he murmured, "just say stop and I will," before lowering his lips onto Harry's, softly and every so gentle.

Harry let one arm go up around Severus' neck and he held them together in that simple press of lip against lip for a long time, sighing slightly, happily, as they pulled away.

"I love you Sev."

"I love you too, baby."

Harry looked into his eyes and smiled brilliantly for the first time all day.

"I know."

Sev laughed with delight.

"I never ever thought I'd hear you say that – especially not after today."

"Geraldine, she helped me see that."

"Really?"

"And she gave me a chocolate frog and some great advice."

Severus smiled, his heart swelling with delight that his 'baby' was already way on the way to recovery.

"You should send her a thank-you note."

"I will."

They sat there for a while, Harry every so often asking for another gentle kiss and Severus supplying them.

*