Strange Relationships

Following applies to all chapters.

Disclaimer – Not my characters, otherwise would not be under Fan Fiction, no?

Rating – R, right from the start

Pairing – SS/HP

Warnings – slash, graphic rape/non-con, violence, Sirius Black bashing!

Genre – hurt/comfort, angst

Summary – Sirius Black is not a nice man, but Harry doesn't figure that out until it's too late

A/N – Well, that came out faster than I thought it would!  (Maybe I'm just making up for lost time?) Enjoy!

10.

Severus woke earlier than usual, wondering why he was half in, half out of his large bed.  Then he recalled that it wasn't his bed but a narrow infirmary cot, and he realised the reason he was about to fall out was because Harry had wormed his way into his arms in the middle of the night.

Despite feeling heartened that Harry still wanted to be near him, he didn't want to scare him, so he edged out, pulling Harry further onto the bed, and went to sit at the bottom.  He watched the rhythmic rise and fall of Harry's chest and the lock of raven hair that moved every time the teen inhaled or exhaled.

He noted the strange half-smile on Harry's face and the way he snuffled his nose into the pillow where Severus had been lying, and began to smile himself.  He had really been worried about how Harry would react to him after this – he had heard stories where it had broken up relationships entirely.  It seemed to him that maybe this would eventually make theirs stronger, but he hated that it had happened this way.

He decided that, as soon as possible, they would sit down and have a very long, albeit gentle, talk.  Reaching out a hand, he slid it down Harry's side and leg, letting his sensitive fingers trace the familiar contours right to the thin ankle and back again. He briefly wondered why he was the only one Harry actually liked touching him and whether he would mind him doing that when he was awake, when Harry hummed happily and little slits of green showed from under Harry's curly eyelashes.  He went to move his hand away from Harry's waist, but Harry's seeker-fast reaction meant it was trapped under another hand before it was even an inch off the fabric.

"Don't stop."

"Harry, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"You don't make me feel uncomfortable."

"I don't understand why not."

"Neither do I, but when am I ever normal?  Now get back in bed with me."

"Not enough room."

"Push my cot up and make one big bed."

"Madam Pomfrey would have my guts for garters."

Harry lifted his hand and linked their fingers.

"Please?"

"You'll have to let go of my hand," he warned, with a smile.

Harry let go while Severus, feeling lazy, used his wand to reposition Harry's old cot and then resized the blanket covering Harry before climbing in himself and, on Harry's request, cuddling him close, running fingers through his messy hair and getting rid of the knots sleep had put in it.

"Do you know if they caught him yet, Sev?"

"I don't know, no.  Sorry, baby – I only woke a few minutes before you, and I doubt they want to disturb you."

"I really don't think he'd do it to anyone else – just me."

"You are one person too many, Harry."

Harry looked up at him.

"If I'd had to choose between you and him even before this, I would have chosen you, you know that, don't you?  And you know that I would chose you over anyone?"

Severus looked down.

"I didn't know, no.  But it's nice to know now."

"And you believe me?  Please tell me you believe me."

Harry's gaze was pleading and desperate, and Severus couldn't help but believe him.

"I don't know why you would, but I believe you, I do.  And I'd choose you over anyone or anything.  I want you to know that – you're the most important thing to me.  More important than anything."

Harry smiled, a little wobbly, 'I'm-trying-not-to-cry' smile, before he pressed a kiss to Severus' neck and settled down into the comfortable silence.

After a while Poppy came in to check if they were still asleep and disapprovingly looked at the two beds pushed together as she asked what they wanted for breakfast.  She didn't say anything about it, though, and indeed looked more perked up than last night.

When she brought them their trays of scrambled eggs and toast (Harry hadn't wanted anything, but both the nurse and his lover had insisted), she told them the good news.

"Harry, Sirius was apprehended last night at Remus Lupin's house.  The Ministry are giving him a short trial today and then he'll likely be given the Dementors' Kiss."

Harry actually felt himself tense up.

"That's… good."

Pomfrey smiled and left again, so she didn't see that after about fifteen seconds Harry began to shake.

Trying to conceal his unease from Severus he picked up his fork and began to move his food around.

It was actually this that brought it to the older man's attention.  His shaking transmitted to his fork, which began to rattle on his plate.

"Harry."

It was said in a quiet, gentle voice, but it still startled him into a jump.

"Harry, tell me what's wrong."

He tried to, but his voice seized over and his breathing got shallower.

"Harry, I'd really like you to try to calm down, now, and tell me how I can help you."

Setting his fork down, he tried to push his tray away, but finally had to let Severus move it for him.

Feeling nauseous and weak, Harry made his unsteady way to the bathroom by leaning on the other beds, closely followed by Severus and, when she noticed them moving, Pomfrey.

He fell to his knees in front of the bowl and threw up everything he had eaten the night before in waves with gaps of perhaps ten seconds in between, still shaking.

He didn't notice Poppy hand Severus a blanket, but he felt it go around his back and shoulders and then Severus' tentative touch to his back, which, when he didn't jerk away, turned into a slow, circling rub.

He was covered in a cold sweat which was making his hair stick to his forehead and neck, and he could hear Pomfrey click away and then back again as he rested his hands on the sides of the bowl to keep him self upright.

When he saw her appear at his right hand side with a calming potion, he took one look at the pale blue liquid and threw up some bile, retching again from the taste, but unable to bring anything more up.

His shaking was now very pronounced and he couldn't stop it.

He felt Severus gather him up to his chest and on to his lap in the blanket, but he had his eyes closed now, so he didn't see the worried look on Severus' face.

A cool, damp cloth began to wipe the sweat from his face and chest and then a warm, fluffy one dried him off.

Slowly the shaking eased and he was left with simple shivers from the sweat on his neck and back and his proximity to the freezing cold tiles on the floor.

Opening his eyes a little he finally saw exactly how anxious Severus looked.

His forehead was creased and frown lines were deep around his mouth.  His dark eyes sparkled where visible – they were narrowed and focused on Harry and Harry alone.

After a moment or two of staring at Harry he looked up at Poppy.

"He's sweating, but he's still shivering.  Can we put him into a warm bath, maybe?"

He heard the response, but didn't have enough energy to turn his head and look at her.

"We'll start a gradual warming charm on him and then get him into the bath if he agrees."

He saw Severus' chin dip in response and then felt the tingle of the spell muttered by the witch.

The idea of a bath was appealing to him, so he tried to speak.

"Sev, n'I've bath?"

His voice came out in a harsh whisper, his words slurred together, but he'd gotten his message across, so he contented himself with it.

Severus held him closer and nodded.

"Of course, baby.  Just wait one moment and we'll have it ran.  We'll put all the different types of bubbles in, just like you like, and get you all warmed up and cleaned.  Does that sound good?"

He made a vaguely affirmative noise and closed his eyes again.

His stomach still felt bad – it was cramping a little and aching.

His head was pounding in time to his pulse and all of his muscles felt like over-cooked pasta.

He'd felt so good when he'd woken up, too – warm and safe and with Severus' touching him just like he had before.

"Harry, who would you like to help you bathe?"

The voice was feminine, but he wanted Severus to help him.

"Sev'rus."

He could only imagine her pragmatic nod, but he could hear the door click shut after her departure and the distant echo of her heels on the tile.

After a minute Severus shifted under him and then pulled him up in his arms before standing and sitting him on the toilet – with the lid down.

Harry leant back and let his head meet the wall as Severus took out his wand and muttered some spells.  The heating charm was working – when Severus' spell to undress him worked he felt no change in temperature, just the relief of getting the sticky pyjamas off his skin.

He let his lover pick him up, wondering vaguely why he'd never noticed how strong Severus' arms were before, and set him back down in the warm, foamy water.

Pomfrey had, as Severus had said, used all the different types of bubbles, including his personal favourite at the moment – the thick, ice-white stuff, which, he realised now, could support his weight.  He'd wondered since his fourth year and he'd tried out the prefects' bathroom.  It was certainly useful when you weren't sure yourself whether you could support your own weight.

"Harry, is it okay if I wash your back and neck for you?"

He made an 'hmm' noise and then relaxed into the warmth and movements Severus was making with the sponge.

He wasn't sure why, after having woken up only thirty minutes ago, he was so tired, but he felt like he could sleep for another ten hours.  He remembered something Hermione had told him once about his body needing to sleep even if he was healed with magic because it was how his body re-balanced itself.

After a while in the bath, though, his headache was fading, he had lost his nauseousness, and his muscles were all responding again.

His stomach still ached, but he figured Pomfrey would have something for that as soon as he walked back out the door.

Severus had stopped washing him a while back, but he still sat poised on the ledge around the bath to help Harry with anything he needed.

"I'm feeling much better, now, Severus, but could I get something to take the taste away?"

"Will some water do until you take the potion Poppy has to settle your stomach?"

Harry nodded and soon found a goblet with some water in it pressed to his lips.

"Sip, now.  We don't want it to upset your stomach anymore than it already is."

It took away the immediate taste, but he still felt like he'd woken up with one of Neville's socks in his mouth.

Rubbing his face and yawning, he asked Severus to help him out of the bath.

This resulted in Severus making sure he was propped up and not about to drown himself before popping out to find clean pyjamas and slippers.

He came back with both, a toothbrush and toothpaste, and the potion for Harry, which was gratefully received with an appreciative gurgle from Harry's stomach.

In ten minutes Harry found himself ensconced in a warm bed, feeling that sense of comfort one only gets from a newly made bed and a long bath.

"It was just… I remembered my third year.  It was the Dementors.  I just couldn't help but think my parents would be so disappointed in me, and then I remembered why, and what he said, and my dream from last night, and I…"

He looked at Severus and reached for his hand.

"I know they wouldn't be disappointed in me – they'd be upset and angry with Sirius just like you are, but it's different knowing something and not thinking about it.  I'm sorry for worrying you."

His hand was squeezed and he met gentle black eyes with his own.

"As long as you're okay now, I'm fine."

"I'm fine now.  I'm glad they got him and I'm glad he's getting the Kiss.  He deserves it.  Not just for what he did to me, but for what he did to you when you wee my age, too."

Severus closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them again.

"Thank you, Harry."

Harry smiled a wonky smile and they settled into silence, Severus' chair pushed as close to the bed as possible and their hands clasped on the white sheets, until Harry looked sadly at his empty lap.

"Is my breakfast still warm?"

*

Now, to my reviewers…

(Are we ready for a marathon glomp-fest?)

Big THANK-YOU! & glomps to:

slytherinsela

Sirius' Secret Lover

dark vampire

SHAMIE

Ivy – no death or torture… yet… (cackles evilly)

Kalih – I've read your fic – it's great.  Thanks for the comparison/contrast/whatever it was.  And, yes, for some reason I want to put poor Sev and Harry through hell with the angst and then let them loose with the fluff.  It makes it that much sweeter.

Riley Cat – I hope I'm not offending anyone who was raped – I have a couple friends who went through this, both with people they knew, and I know just what an ordeal it can be, at least from the point of view of a friend who doesn't know what to do to help, and I'm glad you think I've managed to approach the after-effects tactfully.

chantalmalfoy – Yes, Hermione is engaged to Percy.  We'll hear more about that later.  Maybe a nice wedding?

Sevter – Thanks for the advice, and I had that debate with both myself and a relative.  I've been informed that, medically, the only shock is to do with blood-loss, but it is a common term to describe how someone can react after seeing or experiencing something shocking.  I didn't know what else to call it…

Ptijade – One Dementors' kiss coming, and as for the torture... well, we'll see.

Majandra

CrazycheeseCake – I'll try to keep up the good work.  Cheers!

Redone – Sorry 'bout the A/N in the middle of the story, but I'll not change it incase I banjax the reviews.

Devlin

evelia

Meg/flygirl62 – sorry if it was the story that made you throw up.  I hope t was the pizza, though!  Castration for Sirius… hmm…

Sakura Lee

Finally, sorry, sorry, sorry about the formatting originally, but it always seems to do that to me!  I tend to get people yelling at me to 'PUT IT IN PARAGRAPHS!'  It was in my file, but not on ff.net's.  Sorry again, but thanks for letting me know!

xox,

Mia/SeverusShadowJ

R&R please!