Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I'm not making any money off of them, sad but true. The WB has all rights. I'm just borrowing them and I'll return them when I'm done. Well, except for Chloe Sullivan, I want to keep her for a while longer. Clark doesn't deserve her and he would probably dismiss her again.
Shameless Begging: Please Read and Review. This is my first story and I want to be sure people want me to continue it.
Summary: Clark learns that the greatest influences on us are the people who have already gone. Their memories are the hardest standards to live up to.
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Prologue
Dark storm clouds obscured the moon and stars as Clark approached the head stone. The wind picked up and a chill rain began to fall. In the distance, thunder rumbled.
It looks like a terrible storm is coming, thought Clark. Welcome home.
Lightning flashed and briefly illuminated the head stone that Clark was visiting. Bending down, Clark traced the letter 'C' of the first name.
I've returned. Clark thought simply. I've done a lot of soul searching these many years. The one constant has been your memory. You're wit and wry sense of humor kept me sane. You showed me life must be embraced and enjoyed. Otherwise why even bother to live. You've affected my life and helped me find my role here.
I never told you this, but you were a hero to me. That's right, the man who is invulnerable, faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound….well, you get the idea. Clark chuckled mirthlessly as the first raindrops began to fall.
We had our bumps in the road, what friendships don't. However through everything, you helped me aspire to be even greater than I thought was possible.
I think you are the only person who could fully understand me. Help me shoulder this responsibility. I don't intend to shirk it, I just wish you were here to help me bear it.
"Clark?" It was a familiar voice, even after all these years.
Clark turned his head to see a dark haired woman approach the grave he was visiting. She was holding a wreath of flowers in her arms. "I see you've returned from your self-imposed exile. 12 years to the day." She couldn't completely hide the bitter edge from her voice.
Clark stood up as the woman kneeled and placed the wreath in front of the head stone. Lightning flashed and thunder boomed across the cemetery.
Clark spoke first. "I didn't expect to see you," Clark swallowed, "or anybody here. "
"Why should you have" she replied, "You were never here. "
She paused a moment to look for a reaction. Pain was etched on his face. "I visit once a year, every year. Pete also drops by from time to time. He helps keep the grave clear. "
"We could always count on Pete."
"Unlike some people."
Clark sighed, "Are we going to have this argument, again? I thought you understood why I needed to leave."
"Just like the end of sophomore year," she said as she turned her back on Clark. "Things got too rough and you ran."
"It wasn't like that, I had to do this. To understand who I was and learn who I needed to be."
"Sounds like running to me. The only difference is this time you didn't slip on a little red rock." As she spoke, tears flowed freely. The tears mixed amongst the rain that they both forgot was pouring.
Clark sighed. "The wounds were too fresh. I needed distance and I needed to think. Think about you, me, this world…" Clark's hand mournfully waved towards the headstone. "To learn how to grow beyond myself. I had to distance myself lest my rage took over."
She angrily turned back to him. "Yeah right, and damn the rest of us. You weren't the only one to lose someone you cared about that night. Unlike you, I wouldn't just walk away."
Clark went to put his hands on her shoulders and she shrugged him off. Clark spoke again. "I thought you, of all people understood me enough…understood what I was going through."
"What about what I was going through? Did you think that maybe we could be here for each other? Maybe, just maybe, we could help each other through it all."
"I'm sorry—" the woman put her fingers to Clark's mouth to stop him from speaking.
"Don't say that name," the woman angrily interrupted, "She also died that night."
Clark shivered. Not from the cold, but from the woman in front of him. The greater the tragedy. Clark thought to himself.
"Please believe me, if I could have prevented—" Clark started and was cut off again.
"Why couldn't you!" she almost accused him. "With all of your powers, why couldn't you prevent…." A new wave of sobbing wracked her small body.
Clark reached out and held her close as she cried into his chest. "Why," she cried, "Why couldn't you stop it from happening. Why did anyone have to die."
Clark answered her without guilt but with a calm and confidence that he never showed before. "I've asked myself that same question many times in my life. I couldn't save Ryan, I couldn't save my parents unborn baby…I couldn't save…." Clark paused a moment. "Finally I came to an answer. Do you know what I discovered? It's impossible to save everybody. No mystical answer or world rocking epiphany, just a simple truth. Even though I would like to save everybody, I just can't. All I can do is try and make a difference. Try with all my power to help as many people as I can."
Clark looked down at the woman in his arms. Hopefully I can start by saving you.
Clark flashed a smile that she hadn't seen in twelve years. It wasn't the innocently optimistic smile that used to make her knees weak. It was a seasoned optimistic smile that said life would be better from this point forward.
"I've grown," Clark said still looking into her eyes. "I hope you'll be able to believe in me, again."
"Why should I believe in you?" she replied.
"Hopefully because everybody deserves a second chance. You, me… even Lex."
"Sorry, it's not that easy. Did you think that you could just waltz back into my life, flash your Kent Charm Smile and make everything better? It doesn't work that way."
"I know it doesn't, but we have to start somewhere," he said.
"Why? Why does anything have to start? Why can't I just turn around right now and walk out of your life, like you did mine."
Clark shrugged. "Because you just tore into me for doing the same thing and because we were friends once, maybe more."
Clark continued on when he didn't hear a response from her. "We've both lost too many people, already. I don't want to add you to the list. Is it too late to try and help each other now?
"I don't expect to be through this in one night, it isn't possible. What's the worse that can happen? We get out of this rain, you yell at me all night and we never see each other again?"
"Works for me."
"Or, " Clark continued, "We trade stories about a dear friend and start to scab over the wounds we both feel."
She looked at Clark again. This time she truly looked at him. He wasn't the slightly bashful and timid farm boy from Smallville. He was a man that had a confidence about him without arrogance. He was a man who believed in himself and the people around him.
"You've changed." She said.
"So have you," he replied simply then laughed, "The new hair-do looks good, even soaking wet."
Clark offered her his hand. "Let's go somewhere dry and talk about old times and how we got to this point."
She hesitated a moment and then accepted his hand. Hopefully talking could help them both.
