003 - Pay Collection | Administering Taxes & Warrants On The Enemies Of The Realm
"I know this is a bad time and all, but can I talk about your bloody house extended warranty? You have been keeping an eye on it, innit?" Yukari questions the legality of Rumia's tax and other economic accounts.
"Yukari… YES IT'S A BAD TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT THAT! I mean, my Nuz, you always think about taxes and not the realm," Rumia said, appalled by the fact that Yukari prioritizes tax and economy before the lives of the people who are at stake.
Yukari is now curious on why Rumia is protecting the human village when she herself is a youkai. She is going to inquire about her.
"Why are you protecting the human village? I mean, you are a youkai, and youkais are supposed to eat humans. It seems counterproductive to whatever you are doing," Yukari said as she ducked using her boundary manipulation ability before getting hit on the head by a tree branch.
"Is that so? A youkai's job is to protect the humans after all, right? Somebody told me that a long time ago." Rumia disappeared to the shadow to move past the obstacles that are blocking the pathway, reappearing after she got past it.
"Hmm, whatever you say. It is not my business to meddle with yours."
After running and using their abilities to get to their location, they are finally at the human village. Both of them saw the minions, which are youkais, demons, and nonhuman creatures, trying to get into the village, but they can't find it because the darkness keeps obstructing their eyesight.
"Hmm, how do we approach this problem? Maybe I should remind them about their house's extended warranty." Yukari got into a thinking pose after she said that in the most intellectual way.
Rumia just shook her head at Yukari and her thought process. "How about we beat them and tell them that what they are doing is bad? How about that?" Yukari thought about it.
"Sure, sure. We will go with your idea, but I don't like the idea of beating someone because they did a bad deed. You know, I prefer the diplomatic route instead of the barbaric route, right?" Rumia is already gone and is now dealing with the minions.
Yukari just shrugged and slowly and casually approached one of the minions. She got an idea on how to stop them and it will be great.
"Hey, my fellow youkai. Do you want to play a game?"
The youkai in question is confused about who this woman is. "Who are you and what do you want?! Are you part of the battalion!? And what is this game you speak of?" The youkai is wearing some kind of nun clothes and there is some red cloud over her head.
'Are nuns supposed to guide people to the virtuous path? And is that a stand behind her?' Yukari thought as she readied herself to advertise and remind her about the house's extended warranty.
"Let me introduce you to the game called Fortification Light Saga," Yukari said as she put on her most advertised look.
"What…" The youkai nun is even more confused than before.
"It is one of the largest globalized games of 2XXX. Millions of players play this game and are addicted to the point they pay real money for it. Players from all over the world joined over the last twelve months. All the champions in the game can be customized with unique gear that changes your strategic buffs and abilities! The dungeon bosses have some ridiculous skills of their own and figuring out the perfect party and strategy to overtake them is a lot of fun! Currently with over 300,000 reviews, Fortification has almost a perfect score on the Play Store! So what are you waiting for? Click on the special links and you'll get 50,000 silver and a free epic champion as part of the new player program to start your journey! Good luck and I'll see you there!" Yukari finishes her piece for the advertisement.
Meanwhile, the youkai nun has a wtf expression on her face.
"W-What are you even saying!? We are in a fight here! I don't need to play your game, charlatan! If you are not here to find the human village, then I will be going back to what I'm doing." She goes back to finding the human village, but what she did not know is that Yukari is releasing her killing intent.
The youkai nun felt this and almost shat her panties. Heck, even the red cloud hid behind her head.
"WAIT A SEC, MA'AM. MAY I HAVE A CHAT ABOUT YOUR HOUSE'S EXTENDED WARRANTY? IT SEEMS YOU HAVE NOT PAID FOR IT FOR… *calculates the days, weeks, months, and years* …FORTY YEARS."
From a normal perspective, Yukari still looks like a normal woman, but from the youkai nun's perspective, Yukari looks like an eldritch cosmic horror that will make any sane person go mad.
The youkai nun collapsed and is now unconscious. Yukari looks around and the minions suddenly who are trying to find the human village suddenly vanished.
"Hmm? I was talking about her house's extended warranty. Why did they leave? Oh well, there's always tomorrow."
With the minions gone, Rumia goes back to reinforcing the human village. In order for her to do that, she needs to be at the center of the human village.
That leaves Yukari to find the evil powerful youkai and finally solve the incident once and for all.
"Rumia can't go with me. I supposed being a protector of the human village has its own pros and cons. It is up to me to solve this incident… all by myself… alone… with no friends to tag along… *sigh* I wanna go back home and sleep. The talk of the house's extended warranty didn't work out because the minions bounced. I'm… tired… and I didn't even have the time to talk about their taxes since… they left… suddenly…"
Yukari is sleepwalking and lets her unconscious body find the culprit behind the attack on the human village.
This. This is the protector of the realm. May any deity bless anyone who lives there because the shrine maiden isn't exactly your ideal shrine maiden who actually protects the realm.
