Chapter 7 – The Science Experiment
It all belongs to Rowling, except what you don't recognize.
"M- Miss Weasley?" Potter flushed and stammered out her name. "Lady Snape will be along shortly. She had a little problem to attend to downstairs." Harry attempted a shy and rather unprofessional smile.
Ginny smiled back and sat down. She expected the handsome young man to leave but he just stood there, weaving back and forth on his feet. "Is there anything else?" she asked.
She was shocked when the valet approached her and took her hand. "I know I'm being too forward and I pray that you don't take it wrong. I just wanted to say, if you ever find yourself in a basket, I mean-- a predicament to please know that you don't just have a friend in Lady Snape, but in myself as well. I am at your service." He swallowed, dropped her hand and quickly made to leave.
"Mr. Potter?" Potter stopped short and turned back to her. "I am most touched." Her blue eyes sought out his green ones and for a moment they reached an understanding of the heart, then he cleared his throat and left the room.
"Ginny, are you all right?" Hermione was standing by the door looking at her friend with concern.
Ginny paled, and took a shuddering breath. "Over and over again, I am reminded that I am ruined." She brought out her handkerchief and attempted to stifle her sobs. "Sometimes, I am just overwhelmed by the generosity of the people around me." Hermione held her, as she had so often these past few days and allowed the tears to flow from her friend. Hermione fervently hoped that these tears were those of healing and cleansing, and would lead to her friend's sooner recovery from her low emotional state.
"Come," Hermione whispered, "did you bring the wax impressions?" She touched her friend's face and wiped a stray hair from her eyes.
"Oh yes. Here they are. How quickly can Harry, um, Mr. Potter get them ready?" She handed over a small box containing the wax tablets.
"He found a place only a few blocks from here. He didn't seem very surprised. You know, I wouldn't be shocked to find out that he has been listening to our conversations." She looked at the door quickly as if Potter might suddenly appear.
"Oh, no. You don't think so?" Ginny's heart began to beat faster. To think that Harry might know her shame and still be willing to extend the branch of friendship or even more…
"Let me get you a restorative. It is obvious that all of this has taken its toll on you." Hermione withdrew, taking the box with her, and returned a moment later with a cut glass bottle of ruby liquid and two cordial glasses. "My mother's homemade elderberry wine. We shall have to be careful with it, as it is quite strong and only a sip or two can make one rather tipsy."
One half bottle later, the two young ladies were a trifle disguised or, to put in more modern terms, feeling little pain.
"Oh dear, the room is quite spinning round," said Ginny with a barely suppressed giggle.
"I fear, my dear," Hermione's eye's went large. "Oh did you hear that, I made a rhyme. I fear my fear, I hear, my dear that we have imbibed entirely too much of Mama's wine." She gave a small hiccup. "Oh my. So," said Hermione in a conspiratorial tone, "what's it like to be carte-blanche," she sniggled, "you know, live as a fallen woman? It must be frightfully exciting in some ways?"
"Well, it's not much different than being married, I imagine, except Sir Lucius is very cruel." Ginny tried to focus her eyes. "Tell me is Lord Snape cruel?"
"Only in that he keeps running away from me." Hermione felt a bit maudlin. "Over a month after the fact of my marriage and my two unmarried female acquaintances have more experience with men than I do." She sighed. "Is Sir Lucius, you know, well…well" Hermione made an incredibly vague motion with her hands.
"Oh, you're asking if he's big?" Ginny frowned. "I don't know, do I? There's no frame of reference. It's not like we could have all the male servants in an' have them drop their pants." She looked questioningly towards Hermione who shook her head 'no'. "Pithy, I mean 'pity'."
"Oh, but I do have an idea." Hermione got up and weaved her way over to the doorway bell pull. With one good yank, it came off in her hand. Peeves, a small man wearing an outlandish cravat who Hermione could still barely stand to look at after the 'incident', came into the room. Hermione handed the bell pull to him. "Peeves, go and get some cucumbers from Hagrid. As many as he has."
Peeves gave her an oily look and then said, "Very good, cucumber sandwiches and perhaps some soup as a luncheon for milady and her friend?"
"No, no, I didn't say cuke, cuke-cumber sandwiches. We need cucumbers, the 'demned' whole thing." She looked with scorn at the butler, "It's for a scientific experiment." She looked at Ginny and burst out laughing.
"Very good my Lady." Peeves nodded his head and headed to the kitchens.
When Potter returned with the freshly made keys an odd sight confronted him. Lady Snape and her friend, Miss Weasley, were surrounded by about two-dozen cucumbers of all shapes and sizes. Hermione had two very large ones, one in each hand. When he walked in they both glared at him and then began to giggle.
"Here are your keys." He worked hard to keep a straight face and to keep his mouth shut. Handing over the keys, he then backed out slowly.
"Oh, Ginny, I think he fancies you," whispered Hermione.
"Hmm. I wonder," Ginny picked up two medium sized cukes and waved them about. "Do you think Harry'd be like this one or that one?"
"Oh well, that one does have a lot of bumps, and it's rather on the small side." She returned her regard to the two large ones in her hands. "Now we have figured that this one, is about the right size for Sir Lucius," she put it down and she addressed the one remaining in her hand, "while this one seems to resemble Lord Snape's although I never did peek, nonetheless, I did get to notice a few details when he was ill." She shut her eyes tightly and felt the vegetable again. "Yes, very definitely a cuke of Snapian proportions," she tittered.
"But Harry's—" continued Ginny.
"Well, yes he is a bit shorter than the two men. And his nose and wrists are certainly much smaller than either Sir Lucius or Lord Snape's, so via the logic of correspondences he probably would have," Hermione did an eeney, meeny, miney, moe and then pointed to the larger of the two cucumbers in Ginny's hand, "so logic dictates it would be that one."
Just then there was a knock on the door and Peeves came in. "Lady McGonagall has arrived."
Both girls looked at one another and swallowed. Hermione suddenly felt completely sober and quite carefully sat up very straight.
"Um, Peeves, please collect the cukes and bring them back down to Hagrid. Then show Lady McGonagall in. Oh and bring in some refreshment as well, including very strong tea." After Peeves left, Hermione again began to shake with laughter. "Oh Ginny, that was the best fun I ever had."
Ginny came over and hugged Hermione. "I'm so lucky to have a friend like you."
They both held their breaths while waiting for the appearance of Lady McGonagall. When Harry ducked his head in they both exhaled loudly.
"You are in luck, my ladies," whispered Potter. "Peeves has taken Lady McGonagall straight to her rooms. She wishes to lave, eat alone in her room and then have a rest before meeting you for tea. A very close call, and now you will have some time to umm…. recover from being half-sprung." He winked.
"Potter, you are very impertinent. But I think you are correct. We are both quite fortunate." Hermione smiled. "I wouldn't like this to be her first impression of us. And Lord Snape would probably never let me forget it."
"Your secret is safe with me." And Potter gave Ginny a quick look. Ginny blushed and looked at the ground. "Might I suggest though, that you both eat something substantial to counter the effects of the wine? I am sure Hagrid can come up with just the thing."
"Have you ever had too much to drink, Potter?" Hermione shocked herself by asking a rather forward question, as Potter was leaving.
"I got foxed once, about two years ago. I don't want to tell you what Lord Snape came up with as a punishment. I still get green about the gills just thinking on it." And with that he left.
"Hermione, I have to leave. Sir Lucius will be up soon. Tonight I'll start going through that locked trunk of his. I suspect it is full of his papers. I saw him go in there before when he finished a diary he was writing. If I find anything havey-cavey, I will come straight by very early. But what shall I do once I've given over the documents?"
"Don't you worry. I have it all worked out," said Hermione as she pecked her friend on the cheek.
&&&
"Tare an' hounds, man," sneered Snape. "I will not stay for any celebrations. I have done my job and—"
Lord Cornelius Fudge raised his hand. "My dear Lord Snape, please do not shoot the messenger. It is merely the wish of the Regent, and Lord Wellington to boot, that you be a part of the ceremonies now that we have taken Paris. Confidentially, you are to receive no less that three medals of Honor."
"Listen here, you, you," Snape blustered, "what do I want with medals or fancy dinners? I have a very pretty and young wife waiting for me at home." Snape raised an eyebrow. "Which would you choose, Lord Fudge, were you in my position?"
Fudge turned several interesting shades of red. "Well, I cannot stop you. Now that the war is over and…" Fudge ceased his speech when he realized that he was talking to an empty room.
A/N: Many thanks to my reviewers White Raven, Natalia Flor, Lana Riddle, Her Lover's Spy, Queenie, and Liesl.
Cant glossary:
In a basket = in lots of trouble
A trifle disguised = slightly drunk
Carte Blanche = an offer by a gentlemen to live with him which does not include marriage
To lave = not exactly cant more archaic, to wash oneself
Havey-cavey = suspicious
Foxed = drunk
Tare an' hounds = exclamation
