Title: Illogical solutions. Author: Acidbuk & Kitana Summary: Parody/Humour Story in the Star Trek T O S universe, one shot Spam fic. Rated: R for Profanity. Disclaimer: Star Trek and its characters are owned by Paramount and a bunch of other people who are not me, so lets all be civil and not get Lawyers involved ^^.

Enjoy the show:

=============

Illogical Solutions =============

After a freak accident onboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, Mr Scott reports on the situation to Captain Kirk

"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo me canny do it captain I Don't have the power!" Said Mr Scott.

"But you have to Scotty, our fate depends on it", Replied Captain Kirk

"NO CAPTAIN I CANNY! I CANNY! WE ARE ALL GOING TO CRASH!!!", Scotty replied Hysterically

"You HAVE to change the laws of physics, you CAN do it", Ordered Kirk.

"Err captain that is illogical!" Said Spock; "Jim he can't do it!" Spock finished.

"I don't care Mr Spock! I'M the captain, he'll do it or be thrown in the brig for mutiny", Kirk said, laughing Maniacally.

Spock uses the Vulcan neck Pinch on Kirk "no captain it's illogical and wrong!"

"Spock that won't wo..." Captain Kirk Falls to the ground sleeping like a baby before he can finish his sentence.

Bones Laughs Maniacally.

Spock creeps up behind bones and does that Vulcan neck pinch again. "HAHAHHAHA" Bones laughs then collapses.

"its amazing how much the captain and Dr Macoy Snore....", Sulu says from his post at Navigation/ops

Spock creeps up behind Sulu and does the neck pinch "ILLOGICAL!", Spock Yells.

"Damn him" Sulu says before passing out and hitting his head on the Navigation console accidentally pushing the self destruct button.

"Whoops", Spock Says.

"You fucking to twit you canny do that! Only the captain can turn it off", Scotty says over the Comm.

Spock looks at captain Kirk, laying on the floor unconscious one word is uttered from Spocks mouth "shit"

On Stardate 623558.1 the U.S.S. Enterprise auto-destructed with all hands aboard, the reason for this is unknown at this time.