Short little one, 'cause I have to get up reeeeeeally early.
----------------------
"I... I... I don't know who to kill first," Joey said in horror. His face was white, and he had Hugsy in a death grip. Buried in the Barcolounger, eyes open wide in shock, clutching his bedtime penguin pal, he looked about ten years old.
"It was a long time ago, Joe," Chandler said quietly.
"Does this story get any better?" Joey begged. "Cause if it doesn't, I'm gonna cry. Do you want to see me cry?"
"It gets better," Phoebe said.
"And then it gets worse," Chandler pointed out.
"But then it gets better," Phoebe said soothingly.
"How much worse?" Joey asked.
Chandler and Phoebe looked at each other uneasily.
Phoebe smiled at Joey. "Look, honey, we don't have to tell the rest of the story. We can end with the happy part."
"Yeah," Chandler added. "We moved into this really cute little house, and we both decorated it."
"I grew tomatoes in the back yard," Phoebe added.
"And they were *huge*," Chandler smiled wistfully.
"Chandler paid for me to take my GED, and then I got a job at the Dairy Queen, and a scholarship to massage therapy school."
"You wouldn't believe how popular she was with the guys at my school. Gorgeous *and* a massage therapist...! I had to beat guys away from our door with a stick so I could sleep."
"Well yeah, but I was like, the only girl they ever saw."
Chandler grinned. "You didn't mind."
Phoebe laughed. "Nope. Those cute little blue blazers... yummy!"
Joey smiled a little. "So you two weren't..."
"Oh, no," Phoebe said. "The making out was sort of... y'know... recreational."
"A comfort thing," Chandler added.
"Yeah," Phoebe said. "And to show Chandler he wasn't gay."
"My grades were *fantastic*, my mom was super-thrilled."
"We got a cat."
"The dye in our hair grew out."
"We had the cutest little kitchen, with this teapot that whistled, and we bought all these bookshelves, just lined the den with 'em."
"So yeah," Chandler said, scratching his nose, "That's how the story ended. Me n' Pheebs, playing house, eating enormous tomatoes in our cute little kitchen, reading books, with our cute little cat."
"Your finger," Joey said suddenly, looking at Chandler's scratching hand with dawning realization.
Chandler and Phoebe looked at each other in alarm. Chandler dropped his right hand from his face quickly.
"Whoa-whoa-whoa, your *finger*," Joey repeated.
"Joe, don't go there," Chandler warned.
"There's no way that happened to you in nursery school, dude. You said it at the coffeeshop today -- you need all your fingers to play classical guitar. You had your whole finger back then!"
"Joey..." Phoebe began.
"That's why you quit, isn't it? That's why Ross didn't even know you knew how. Sometime before college, you..." he paused, realizing. "That's a part of the bad part of the story, isn't it."
"Yeah it is, Joe," Chandler sighed.
"Well, ya gotta tell me now. I gotta know. What happened after the cute little house, and the tomatoes, and the cat?"
----------------------
To be continued...
----------------------
"I... I... I don't know who to kill first," Joey said in horror. His face was white, and he had Hugsy in a death grip. Buried in the Barcolounger, eyes open wide in shock, clutching his bedtime penguin pal, he looked about ten years old.
"It was a long time ago, Joe," Chandler said quietly.
"Does this story get any better?" Joey begged. "Cause if it doesn't, I'm gonna cry. Do you want to see me cry?"
"It gets better," Phoebe said.
"And then it gets worse," Chandler pointed out.
"But then it gets better," Phoebe said soothingly.
"How much worse?" Joey asked.
Chandler and Phoebe looked at each other uneasily.
Phoebe smiled at Joey. "Look, honey, we don't have to tell the rest of the story. We can end with the happy part."
"Yeah," Chandler added. "We moved into this really cute little house, and we both decorated it."
"I grew tomatoes in the back yard," Phoebe added.
"And they were *huge*," Chandler smiled wistfully.
"Chandler paid for me to take my GED, and then I got a job at the Dairy Queen, and a scholarship to massage therapy school."
"You wouldn't believe how popular she was with the guys at my school. Gorgeous *and* a massage therapist...! I had to beat guys away from our door with a stick so I could sleep."
"Well yeah, but I was like, the only girl they ever saw."
Chandler grinned. "You didn't mind."
Phoebe laughed. "Nope. Those cute little blue blazers... yummy!"
Joey smiled a little. "So you two weren't..."
"Oh, no," Phoebe said. "The making out was sort of... y'know... recreational."
"A comfort thing," Chandler added.
"Yeah," Phoebe said. "And to show Chandler he wasn't gay."
"My grades were *fantastic*, my mom was super-thrilled."
"We got a cat."
"The dye in our hair grew out."
"We had the cutest little kitchen, with this teapot that whistled, and we bought all these bookshelves, just lined the den with 'em."
"So yeah," Chandler said, scratching his nose, "That's how the story ended. Me n' Pheebs, playing house, eating enormous tomatoes in our cute little kitchen, reading books, with our cute little cat."
"Your finger," Joey said suddenly, looking at Chandler's scratching hand with dawning realization.
Chandler and Phoebe looked at each other in alarm. Chandler dropped his right hand from his face quickly.
"Whoa-whoa-whoa, your *finger*," Joey repeated.
"Joe, don't go there," Chandler warned.
"There's no way that happened to you in nursery school, dude. You said it at the coffeeshop today -- you need all your fingers to play classical guitar. You had your whole finger back then!"
"Joey..." Phoebe began.
"That's why you quit, isn't it? That's why Ross didn't even know you knew how. Sometime before college, you..." he paused, realizing. "That's a part of the bad part of the story, isn't it."
"Yeah it is, Joe," Chandler sighed.
"Well, ya gotta tell me now. I gotta know. What happened after the cute little house, and the tomatoes, and the cat?"
----------------------
To be continued...
