I apologize for the HUGE delay...(or it seems like it to me, anyway)...if you like, you're perfectly welcome to march right up to my school and demand that certain *cough* teachers be FIRED for assigning too much work *COUGH*.alas, I'm afraid tenure has saved their sorry backsides more than once. Ah well.

A giant thank you to all of my reviewers. *sniff* It means a lot to me, PLUS it keeps me motivated. ::Passes out chocolate and roses to everyone, including (but NOT LIMITED TO): Lady of Ithilien, Marion, Natta, Aurora, ShireElf, Artemis-Chan, Senni, Thorn, Coneflower Adams, Cass, bertiebottsgeorge, Firiel, Carmen, Artemis, The Phantom, katakanadian, EowynFan, Siofra, x-silver-saffire-x, Thorn Garden, Aelimir, Arahirien, The Hobbit Children, SarahSweetie, and any/all lurkers who have read but not reviewed!::

(Everyone yells, "GET ON WITH IT!!")

Fine. I will.

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Within a few minutes, most of my regret had evaporated. After thinking the matter over for about three seconds, I managed to execute yet another mental-about face and convince myself that I had done the right thing after all in rejecting Merry.

"He as good as told you himself, Stella," I reminded myself out loud, as I morosely untied my pony's reins and mounted. "He TOLD you he noticed that you didn't treat him differently from anyone else. He's a war hero and the heir to the Master of Buckland - of course he was insulted. Of course he tried to change that, in any way he could. Just think what might have happened if you hadn't sent him off."

I continued in this vein, trying to justify my actions, as I kicked my mare into a brisk trot and gave her her head. I cared little about where I was going, so long as I was alone with my thoughts.

So, of course, the pony made a beeline for the nearest place I would NOT be alone: the road, only a mile or so to the north. Wrapped up in my musings, I failed to realize this fact until it was too late and I was already blinking in the sudden sunlight.

"I should have seen that one coming," I muttered to the mare, then sighed. "Right, then, let's go home." I glanced up to catch sight of a cart directly ahead of us, and the curly mane of hair belonging to the driver looked far too familiar.

"Oh, curses," I hissed under my breath. "It's Celandine."

I yanked on the reins in an effort to suggest to my mount that we should perhaps get off the road, but she was evidently looking forward to getting home; instead of turning, she merely shook her head in annoyance and snorted loudly. At the noise, Celandine turned to see who was behind her; when she recognized me, her face hardened.

If I could have turned myself invisible through sheer willpower, I would have. As it was, I did my best to shrink away from Celandine's hostile gaze; for although I did not yet know what she was angry about, my recollection of the direction that Merry had galloped off in - north - gave me a pretty good clue.

"What did you do?" she demanded sharply, halting the cart so that I drew alongside.

"I beg your pardon?" I figured it was best to play innocent. Perhaps I was wrong about the cause of Celandine's anger.

"Don't act the idiot, Stella. Merry rode by here not five minutes ago, nearly in tears."

Or - more likely - perhaps I was right. I sighed inwardly, but shot back, "What does that have to do with me?"

"My cousin does not cry easily. At the moment, I am aware of only a few things that could cause him to, and of those, the signs most clearly point to you." Celandine's normally calm grey eyes were presently as dark as storm clouds, and every bit as threatening.

"Oh, well then, Cel," I replied, deciding to cut to the chase, "I'm sorry, but I'm not going to let any hobbit, whether he is your cousin or not, take advantage of me just to bolster his ego!"

Celandine gaped, genuinely surprised. "What? Why would he do that?"

"You expect ME to answer that?" I asked scornfully. "Why don't you ask HIM why he needs to disgrace me?"

"Because that's the LAST thing he would do!" Catching my look of skepticism, she cried, "Stella, he loves you!"

I was taken aback - but only for an instant. "Oh, so he's fed that lie to you, too, has he?" I sneered.

"For goodness' sake, pull yourself out of your hole of self-pity and cynicism!" Celandine exclaimed. "I know Merry. The past month, while he's been gone, he's written to me of nothing but you! When he told me he was going to tell you how he felt, I encouraged him - because keeping it hidden was eating him alive, I could feel it. My cousin is many things, Stella, but he is not deceitful!"

I blinked, and as the words sank in I recalled Merry's own statement on Garnet's wedding day. And now, looking into Celandine's stormy but serious eyes, I knew she was right.

"I've been trying to convince myself of that for weeks," I murmured, more than a little stunned and speaking more to myself that Celandine. "It's been eating ME alive. And now that I know, it's too late."

Celandine regarded me with something unpleasantly akin to satisfaction. "I wouldn't blame him," she said deliberately, "if he never spoke to you again. He's most likely crushed."

"Don't you think I'M crushed?" I exclaimed. "...Never mind, don't answer that. But I am. Has he gone to Brandy Hall?" I was nearly frantic.

"I've no idea," Celandine replied coldly.

"If you see him, tell him I wish to speak with him, will you?" I asked desperately. Celandine did not answer, but I pressed her, "Cel. Please. For my sake, but more importantly for HIS, will you tell him?"

She finally let out a vaguely affirmative grunt, and then I was off like a shot down the road. An inquiry at Brandy Hall proved unsuccessful ("Nay, Miss Bolger, he's not come home yet from Hobbiton, ye know that,") and I decided to collect my scattered wits at home while I waited for Merry's reappearance. Besides, there was something I wanted to discuss with my brother.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

After a half-hour of asking everyone in the house about Fred's whereabouts, I managed to track him down in the garden, where he was weeding the carrots.

"Fred," I said, standing over him with my hands on my hips, "We need to talk."

He sat back on his heels and wiped his grimy hands on his breeches, which, since they were equally grimy, had no effect whatsoever on their cleanliness. Fixing me with a questioning stare, he replied pleasantly, "Ah, yes, the dreaded 'We need to talk.' What's bothering you, Stella?"

I sighed mentally, reluctant to come right out and confront him. "I've been wondering...You remember the day of Garnet's wedding?"

Fred face darkened ever so slightly. "Yes...?"

My sigh was audible this time, and I knelt in the dirt between the turnips and the radishes. "Fred," I began earnestly, and the rest of the sentence tumbled out in a rush of words. "I need to know what - what you were referring to when you told me to stay away from Merry."

My brother's expression hardened, as did his voice. "Is this what this is about?" he asked coldly, getting to his feet. "I can say nothing more than the fact that whether or not you choose to listen to me is your choice."

"I DO listen to you!" I exclaimed, peering up at him from the turnips. "I just want to know what you know!"

"And why would you care?"

I rose and gently took Fred's hand. "I don't want to make you angry," I said quietly. "I just want to know what's going on. I'm a little confused right now."

Fred jerked his hand away roughly. "Oh, and I wonder why," he sneered. "I suppose he's finally professed his undying love for you, has he?"

My face flushed; I could feel my cheeks burning with a mixture of embarrassment and quickly rising aggravation. "Not really," I replied, but went on quickly, " - but that's not the point, Fred!"

"Oh, but it is," he insisted, eyes flashing dangerously. "Don't you believe him for a second, Stella. He WILL hurt you."

"Fred!" I cried, in a combination of frustration and anger. "He is a dear friend of mine, and, I thought, of yours too, and you have given me no reason to doubt him save your single mysterious warning - but I trusted you, and as a result I've alienated both him and Celandine! I'd like to at least know why I've made myself an enemy of the entire Brandybuck family!"

My brother's steely gaze did not waver for a second. "I told you to be careful. Isn't that enough for you?"

"No," I said faintly, and then with greater conviction, "No, it isn't. Not anymore."

"Why not?" he demanded sharply.

"Because I love him, Fred!" I burst out.

In truth, Fred seemed less surprised by this revelation than I was. As I clapped my hands over my mouth in shock, his hostility seemed to abruptly dissolve, to be replaced with a weary resignation.

"I know," he said simply.

I gaped. "What? What are you talking about? I - but - I didn't know myself until just now!"

"I know," he repeated.

"Then - what - I - then why...?" I broke off and pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers, drawing in deep, steadying breaths.

Fred gave me a wry smile. "I know you better than you know yourself," he informed me. "Sometimes that comes in handy."

My short laugh had more hysteria than mirth in it. "I'm afraid I'm still a bit confused, Fred. Care to explain?"

"Things are more complicated now that you've realized your feelings," he went on meditatively, as if I hadn't spoken. "I can't hide it from you any longer."

"Hide WHAT from me?" I cried in desperation.

Fred's expression was a remarkable mixture of wide-eyed innocence, resignation, gentle amusement, and sadness. "That you two are perfect for each other."

I held up a hand. "All right. Need...to sit down." I bent unsteadily and groped for the moist dirt with my other hand. Fred regarded me impassively as I silently counted to ten. "Fred...please. For the last time, I hope. Kindly explain why, although you yourself have said that I love Merry and that we are - as you put it - 'perfect for each other,' you have warned me to stay away from him, with the clear purpose of keeping me from learning his own intentions."

Fred shook his head with bittersweet amusement. "My dear, sweet baby sister, you of all people should know." I was about to say something rather rude in reply, but he went on before I could speak, with that same air of quiet acquiescence. "I had my suspicions about Merry since the night of the cotillion, and the weeks that followed - along with several conversations with Celandine on the subject - were enough to confirm my fears. By the day of Garnet's wedding I knew I had to take action - as I said before, I know you better than you know yourself, and I needed to prevent you from becoming too close to him. It would only work as long as you didn't realize what was happening or even how you felt, and now..." He trailed off and shrugged in a helpless sort of way.

I passed my hand over my eyes and replied, "I can figure that much out on my own. But, Fred - you're just doing what I do, using a lot of words and dodging the real question: why?"

He sighed, and his posture was that of one who knows he has been completely defeated. "Stella," he told me quietly, "you're the only constant thing in my life. After Father - after Father died, and mother went back to her family and seemed to forget she'd ever been anything but a Took, you stood by me. It was you and me, all those years. We were our own family, even when I was off gallivanting with Pippin and Frodo and Folco and Merry and that lot. And then everything else changed. The world turned on its end, all topsy-turvy like. But through it all, I had my sister." He smiled crookedly at me. "I couldn't let some fool of a Brandybuck come and whisk her away. I couldn't let him take away the one hobbit I could count on to be there for me."

My eyes filled with sudden tears. What he must have gone through, believing that I would abandon him...

Fred heaved a sigh. "I suppose you'll be going now," he said ruefully. "I'll understand if you don't wish to speak to me."

I slowly got to my feet, my expression blank; Fred looked at me with fear and sorrow in his eyes.

I threw my arms around him, damp soil and all. "Oh, Fred," I burst out, "I could never leave you like that."

My brother did not reply, but I could feel his entire frame relax as I embraced him. It was as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and he hugged me tightly back.

"Just because I love Merry doesn't mean I don't love you," I went on - and was startled as Fred tensed up again immediately.

"Stella," he said firmly, stepping back so that he held me at arm's length, "You can't have it both ways. You will choose Merry in the end. You'll be a Brandybuck, not a Bolger. You'll be his wife, not my sister."

"I can be both," I insisted, my eyes pleading him to understand. "But whatever happens, I will always be your sister."

Fred shook his head stubbornly. "Stella. You know as well as I do you'll choose one way or the other. You throw all of yourself into whatever you do, and this will be no different." He drew closer again. "Will you pick Merry and become a Brandybuck, or will you remain a Bolger, as you always have been?"

I knew, as he fixed me with an intense and questioning gaze, that there was only one possible answer. "Oh, Fred," I told him, my voice husky, "You are my brother, and you always will be."

"You'll forget Merry then?" he asked anxiously, gripping my arms harder in expectation.

His eyes were shining so brightly with eager hope that I could not bear to disappoint him. "Of course," I said heavily. "I will."

He swept me up into another tight hug, and as he murmured, "Thank you, Stella," I thought hopelessly to myself, "How am I ever going to get out of this mess?"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ugh. I am no good at all with angst. ::rolls eyes:: ANYWAY, more (non- angst!) will be coming soon! And review, please, or otherwise I might decide this story is more trouble than it's worth! :P

Disclaimer: Although I love it, I do NOT own the phrase "My dear, sweet baby sister." My favorite brother character of all time does. Come to think of it, I don't own ANYTHING in this story. Except maybe Tulip. I own her. Oh, and Garnet. That's all. Hurray, that was late. About seven chapters late, in fact. ANYWAY, I'll shut up (All: ::breathe a sigh of relief::)