Danzo had, unsurprisingly, lied. Itachi never did return to Kakashi's team. He had time now, lying in a hospital bed, to replay those memories. Here, Kakashi was safe to relive them. In this moment, he could afford to be distracted by his past. He could review and assess and rewrite the plot. What had he missed? Could he have possibly fixed it.

The one truth he did know, the part of him that hid these memories in the deep recesses of his mind only confirmed it, was that he had felt something for the younger ANBU agent. Another prodigy, another child without a childhood. Unwittingly struck by tragedy and forced to endure a lifetime of decisions made by those that could never begin to grasp the consequences thrust upon adolescent shoulders.

Itachi and Kakashi were too similar, in Kakashi's mind at least. He was sure that was why they retired him after the Uchiha massacre. "See what happens when you push a child?" The psychological games and warfare were part of the job. Even as a child he grasped as much. Still, there was a part of him, both then and now, that wanted nothing more than to keep Itachi safe. To rescue him from that life. To live vicariously through him, as if keeping the young Uchiha's innocence intact would heal some broken part of the last remaining member of Minato's team.

But now, staring off at nothing as his mind wandered, he knew what Itachi had told him. Not through words, of course. The tsukuyomi, that seemingly endless torture, had been a warning. "Stay back." The message was clear enough. Did Itachi still care about him? After all this time? Or was that the last thread of his humanity…? A single act of grace in a moment of weakness that Kakashi wouldn't be granted again.

His head was starting to hurt. He decided to settle on a pleasant memory.

The two young shinobi gazed up at the stars, the empty field allowing them a perfect view of the night sky. Even though Danzo had removed him from Kakashi's squad, the copy nin still felt a desire to protect the younger boy. He felt a warmth stirring his chest and he assured himself it was pride. Yes, the need to protect was because he was an excellent squad leader. That was all, surely.

Itachi sighed and it brought Kakashi back to the current moment. "Do you think we'll ever be happy?"

Kakashi shrugged, although Itachi couldn't see him as they both laid on the grass. "Do you think we deserve to be?"

He felt his friend tense. "If not us, then who? Who's more deserving of happiness than the protectors of the village? I would give anything to keep my clan safe, my village safe. I'd like to think we've earned at least a chance to experience it."

"…when was the last time you felt genuinely happy, tachi?" His voice was low, trying to take a neutral stance on the topic.

"I… maybe training with Sasuke?" His emotions were suddenly muffled again, back to his usual self. Letting nothing be seen. "Even being with my clan is work anymore." He paused before routing back to his earlier topic. "It feels as though everyone else is living their lives and we're eternally trapped attempting to prematurely end ours. Did you know Shisui kissed a girl the other day?"

Kakashi glanced over and noted the faint blush on pale cheeks. He looked away, not wanting to embarrass his friend. Were they friends? Sure, he thought to himself, now that they're no longer in a subordinate and leader position.

"I hadn't heard. I also wouldn't care." Measuring one's accomplishments to anyone else was useless, if one could even consider a kiss an accomplishment. Regardless, the point remained: each person was unique, to Kakashi anyway. Who cares if Shisui kissed someone? Oh, he smirked now, Itachi did. This could be fun. "Are you jealous or something?"

"What?" Itachi asked quickly, but the usual confidence in his voice was gone. "No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying… how can I explain this… to you, of all people-"

"Of all people?" Kakashi sat up now, feigning offense at the statement.

Itachi sat up as well and immediately raised his hands in defense, "I only mean that you aren't exactly… friendy… approachable… romantic?" Kakashi noted the desperation in Itachi's failed attempt to explain.

"I'm not romantic, hmm?"

"Stop being weird. You know what I mean. We have short enough lifespans as it is. You may not need, or even want, someone else. I do, though. Eventually. But I'm not sure if I'll live long enough to see it. What if we miss our chance, Kakashi?"

Itachi's eyes shone the sharingan and Kakashi briefly wondered why he'd need it at a time like this.

As if reading his mind, Itachi blushed and explained, "it helps me solidify certain memories lately. Things I… I don't want to forget or remember incorrectly."

"Are you having trouble remembering things lately? If your memory is compromised, you're a liability… we should mention this to Danzo."

Itachi corrected him, "Danzo is aware and my memory retention isn't compromised. I can't really explain it right now. Just trust me ok? I'm not planning to attack you," he smiled faintly.

Kakashi grinned, "fine. But why would you want to waste precious chakra remembering me anyway? I'm not planning on dying soon."

Itachi's smile faded at that, "I'm not sure many of us actually plan it. Besides," he looked away, "it's not you I'm worried about. This mission Danzo has me on… I don't know if I'll be in the village much longer."

"Hey," Kakashi reached out to gently grip the younger boys chin and turned him so they were facing one another once more. "If you're that torn up about first kisses and bad memories, let's not have your use of sharingan be in vain." He smirked as Itachi's blush revealed that he understood the intent behind those words. "I would say close your eyes, but I feel like that would be counterproductive for what you want right now."

"D-don't do this because you feel sorry for me," sharingan eyes widened as pale skin flushed a light crimson.

"Heh," Kakashi's tone was light and teasing as usual, "I think you know me well enough to know that pity is never my motivating factor."

Itachi slowly nodded, then quietly asked, "would this be your first kiss, too? I mean, I'd guess not since you're like 20. You've probably kissed plenty of girls-"

Before he could continue his rambling, Kakashi had lowered his mask, leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against the Uchiha's. He closed his eyes, as he was sure he was supposed to do, even knowing full well Itachi might not. So what if the other ANBU saw his face? Few have had the privilege and of all that had, he at least knew he could trust Itachi.

He held himself there for a moment, pressing soft, warm lips against cool, slightly parted ones. The shock it sent through him felt so good, he didn't want it to end. God, he hoped those fireworks were mutual.

When a strong, firm hand gripped the back of his neck, Kakashi knew Itachi felt the same. They stayed that way, soft lips pressing against each other resulting in excitement or awkward moments as they stumbled to find their rhythm, teeth clashing occasionally before finally pulling back. Kakashi leaned forward to plant one last quick kiss on swollen lips before returning his mask to its proper place.

Both boys were flushed and breathing heavier now. Itachi's sharingan showed a deep red as he stared into Kakashis one visible eye. Kakashi knew his own lust was glaringly obvious. He couldn't hide it, nor did he want to. His only objective at that moment was to let the raven haired teen in front of him know exactly how he felt. Now that he had, he knew better than to stick around

"I should go, tachi…".

Confused, red eyes quickly shifted, scanning the surrounding area. "Is someone-"

"Heh… no," a small smile he couldn't hold back betrayed the restraint he was working towards. He needed to leave soon, stop being so charmed by this adorable shinobi. "I just need to leave before I do something we'll both regret. Goodnight, tachi." He ignored the pounding in his chest and disappeared before the younger man could stop him.

His mind ceased to rest as he ran home, needing the cool air from the night to keep him alert. Those thoughts would devour him otherwise. Why had that felt so good? So perfect? At twenty years old, Kakashi had finally had his first kiss. With another sharingan user, no less. Had he done it just for Itachi's comfort? His anticipated remorse and regret at living a life without joy? Or, he considered hopefully, had they both always wanted it? Had they both enjoyed it, not simply a desperate attempt at normalcy while their lives were forever used as bargaining chips in a war that was beyond their control?

When he was safely back home, he traced his lips through the mask and found himself grinning as he remembered just moments ago where they had been. Maybe Danzo removing Itachi from his team had been the right choice? Maybe now he could finally pursue this… whatever this was.

The sky outside turned dark and the hospital lights were nearly all extinguished as the leader of squad seven considered what an idiot he had been to think he and Itachi ever had a future together. Fates would never allow him to be happy, him of all people. Of course he'd fall for a wanted criminal of the leaf village. If someone he loved wasn't already dead, they'd certainly have to be unreachable somehow. Not that he even cared for Itachi anymore. He wasn't sure what he felt towards him. Anger? Betrayal? Confusion? He could go on, but what was the point? He couldn't stop Itachi back then so obviously he didn't know him as well as he'd thought he did. And how did Itachi feel now? Not murdering Kakashi seemed like a positive, but he couldn't keep dedicating his energy to reading the intentions of a mass murderer. Exhaustion finally took him and Kakashi had a restless sleep, dreaming of red eyes, raven hair and a thousand knives descending upon him.