Perhaps Goodbye is Wrong...

By Kourin Lucrece

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it, though it all rocks!

Author's Note: I'm ba-ack! ::frowns as people run screaming:: Now that's not very nice! Anyway, my Marky chapter is here. (joy! Mark is the best character, although Mimi and Collins come close behind... Collins is next.) As all of them do, Mark may seem a bit out of character. Read (thanks), enjoy (hopefully) and review (you better, even flames are apreciated)!

-*~*~Mark~*~*-

How did we get here? How the hell did all of this happen? It seems only yesterday that everyone was happy and healthy. We danced on tables, talked, laughed, loved... We had each other and our art. What went wrong? Was all of it just not enough to keep this from happening?

I hope that Benny managed to cheer Collins up, poor guy. Part of me is asking the same question Roger did: how could we lose Angel? Angel was so full of life and joy, she inspired us all and loved Collins more than anyone has before. They were happy, dammit! Everyone was.

I mean, sure, we had our problems. Maureen and Joanne argue all the time, but it's just that they're both so stubborn. God knows where they went after they made up at the funeral. I'm sure I don't want to. Roger and Mimi had their differences, but they were finally working through them. Collins and Angel were experiencing what they had waited their whole lives for. And me? Sure I got lonely, but it wasn't too bad. They all still talked to me and hung out. Even Benny had been by to see me a few times. Yet, within two months it all just ended.

I can still remember when I heard that Angel was gone. We were sitting in the waiting room, all of us, and it had been a couple hours. Everyone had gone in and tried to cheer him up, being sure to tell him we loved him as we left. Then, Collins walked out of the room.

He just looked at us all sitting there and whispered, "Angel's gone." And then he started to cry. It was the only time I've ever seen him cry.

After that, everything just went so fast. Angel was gone, Benny was taking care of an ill Mimi and Roger was leaving. God, that argument at the funeral... Poor Collins, he shouldn't have had to deal with the loss of our family on top of everything else. But, damn it, how could Roger just leave her like that? Doesn't he see that she needs help, that she needs him?

So here I am, wandering the streets of Manhattan, doing what Roger should be: trying to find Mimi. My lower back hurts something wicked, and I'll bet I've got one hell of a bruise forming, the cold rain isn't helping too much in that department...

I'm just so fucking tired. I can't deal with this anymore! I just don't know what to do. I want things back how they used to be. When everyone was happy and sharing the loft. When no one had drugs or money or was sick or any of it. But by the same token, how could I trade in all that I've seen and done this past year?

Shit, I'm confused. Maybe I should have gone drinking with Collins and Benny... But someone had to try and find Mimi. Raise your hand if you're surprised that it's me. In my mind, though, all I can see is that panicked look in her eyes as she left. I may be pissed at Roger, but Mimi still needs help. I love my friends, so I can't just let it go. I refuse to let her go without a fight. I won't lose all of them! Not yet...

I pause as I reach Alphabet City and try (unsuccessfully) to wipe the moisture from my glasses. I've tried most of her usual haunts in other parts of the city, even the Cat Scratch (all places I will never go again, I assure you) and she was nowhere to be found. Where else am I supposed to look?

It's then that I notice a dark clad figure, his hood pulled up over his face. I know it's a long shot but I have to try. Taking a deep breath, I walk up to the Man. For a minute, both of us are silent as he just looks at me.

Eventually, he smirks. "Well, Mr. Cameraman, what can I do for you today? Finally decided to live it up a little?"

I shake my head, determined not to show my trepidation. "I'm looking for Mimi," I say in a calm, firm tone. "Have you seen her?"

"Maybe I have and maybe I haven't." he responds in a voice mocking my own. "I don't do favors for free, kid." He grins slightly. "Although, we may be able to come to an agreement, we are civilized people."

It's then that hands grab my arms and I feel myself beginning to panic. Shit, I should have thought this through a bit more. I just wanted to find her and then go home and sleep. I should have known it was stupid to talk to him.

"What do you want?" I'm trying to keep my voice steady.

He laughs, a cold laugh that sends a shiver down my spine. "Not too bright, are you, kid? These men owe me money or they can't get their sickness off. And they can be quite desperate, so I hope you cooperate."

The two men holding my arms slam me back against the wall and I bite my lip against the pain. How do I get myself into the situations all the time? One of them tries to take my camera, but I pull away and a fist connects with my jaw. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground and my face hurts like hell. But the Man has ordered them to leave my camera be. Thank God for small fucking favors. After a bit more of a scuffle, I hand them what few crumpled bills I have in my pocket and all three chuckle a bit.

"Saw her two blocks over," the Man says with a jerk of his head in the right direction. "Bought a little something for the pain. Now beat it before that shit piece of metal becomes fair game."

I pull myself painfully to my feet and wipe a bit of blood from my face with the back of my hand. Then, I'm hurrying down the street, hoping there's still a chance of finding Mimi. But I already know that she's disappeared into the city that never sleeps. I only hope that the next time I do see her, it isn't the same way I last saw Angel.

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