Hiei and Koenma arrived in Spirit World two seconds after they disappeared from Kurama's hallway. Koenma screamed until he got everyone's attention. They stared at him expectantly.

"OKAY EVERYONE, THIS IS HIEI JAGANSHI, AS YOU SHOULD ALL ALREADY KNOW!!! HE'S ONE OF THE SPIRIT DETECTIVES!" Koenma shouted. "OKAY, SINCE YOU ALL--- "

"STOP SCREAMING!" Hiei shouted, extremely loud and unexpectedly.

"You better watch it, Hiei," Koenma muttered. "Anyway, everbody, since my normal servant has gone on vacation, you all should know that for the next two weeks, Hiei will be my servant boy. You're to treat him exactly the same as you treated the blue ogre. Don't worry, just because he's a fire demon doesn't mean he'll hurt you. And if he DOES hurt you, I'll punish him. So you've got nothing to worry about! Carry on."

The room instantly exploded back to life. Everybody was running around screaming and whatnot. Koenma walked through and the ogres all cleared the way for him and Hiei. Once they got into Koenma's office, Koenma stationed Hiei at a desk and told him to start filling out papers and such, and answer the phone whenever it rang and everything else like that.

"That blue ogre never did anything like this, did he?!" Hiei asked, annoyed at how much paperwork (oh yes, the cursed dreaded paperwork) he would be doing for two weeks.

"Yes, sometimes he did," Koenma said. "Other times he ran errands and everything else I told him to do. So you'll run errands and do everything I tell you to do."

Hiei's jaw dropped. "I'm a martial artist! I don't do paperwork and answer phones!"

"YOU DO WHEN I TELL YOU YOU WILL!!!" Koenma screamed.

"I just spent months doing homework every night! Now I get an extra two weeks of sitting all day writing up papers and answering phones?!" Hiei said, sounding a little like he was about to lose his mind.

"Yes I do, so you better just do what I tell you and get it over with! It won't do you any good to complain about it! The more you complain, the more paperwork I give you!" Koenma snapped. Hiei looked miserable.

"Damn you," he muttered, walking over to the desk Koenma had instructed him to sit at. He plopped down at the chair and picked up a pen and some papers. He stared at it.

"Good. Get started and don't complain about it. Good servant boy," Koenma said. Hiei groaned at being called servant boy again, and he started beating his head off the desk, saying 'ow,' with every hit, so it sounded a lot like this: *thud* Ow... ... *thud* ow... ... *thud* ow... ... *thud* ow... ... *thud* ow... ... *thud* ow... ... *thud*...

"Hiei, I suggest you stop that. You'll knock yourself unconscious, then you won't be able to work," Koenma said. Hiei looked at him for a second, then started hitting his head even harder.

"HIEI, YOU BETTER STOP THAT RIGHT NOW, YOU LITTLE SERVANT BOY!!!" Koenma screamed, grabbing Hiei by the back of his shirt and dragging him away from the desk. "If you can't handle sitting at a desk, then maybe you could sit on the floor and look like you were even less dignified."

Hiei looked at Koenma for a second before getting up, brushing himself off, and sitting back down at the desk. He started filling out some papers. Koenma sighed and sat down at his own desk to stamp papers. The room was quiet for about fifteen minutes until the phone at Hiei's desk rang, scaring the holey hell out of him and making him mess up the paper he was writing. He started to try to fix it and the phone kept ringing and he kept getting more and more angry until he finally grabbed the phone and screamed into the reciever, "WE DON'T HAVE A TELEPHONE!!!" Then he hung up.

"HIEI, YOU IDIOT! THAT COULD HAVE BEEN IMPORTANT!"

"Well we'll never know now, will we?!" Hiei said.

"I CAN STILL PUNISH YOU FOR IT!!!" Koenma screamed. Hiei's eyes bugged and he got ready to dodge, when the phone started ringing again, startling Hiei and Koenma both.

"ANSWER IT RIGHT THIS TIME!!!" Koenma yelled. Hiei glared at him for a second before answering it.

"Hello, this is Koenma's office," Hiei said, sounding disgusted. "Can I help you?"

While Hiei sat there listening, Koenma went back to his desk and sat down. Hiei glanced at him.

"It's you father," Hiei said dryly after covering up the reciever. Koenma almost died. "What do you want me to tell him?"

"Ask him what he wants," Koenma said. "But don't---" He stopped and stared in horror at what Hiei said into the reciever.

"He wants to know what you want," Hiei said to King Yama. The explosion of screaming from the other side of the line sent Hiei and Koenma spinning through the air and into the wall, leaving spider web cracks spreading out from their point of impact.

"You weren't supposed to let him know I was available! Now I'm dead!" Koenma muttered. Hiei was stuck in the wall, upside-down. The phone was still in his hand.

"PUT MY SON ON THIS PHONE RIGHT NOW!!!" was very clear and loud from the other end of the line. Hiei shakily handed the phone to Koenma.

"Hello, Dad," Koenma said nervously. He paused and flinched at the screaming on the other side. "Well, I just got a part-time replacement for the blue ogre..." Pause. "He's one of the spirit detectives." Short pause. "His name is Hiei Jaganshi." Pause. Koenma looked at Hiei, who was still impaled upside-down in the wall. "He wants to talk to you, Hiei," Koenma said, handing Hiei the phone. Hiei reacher over and grabbed it.

"Hello?" he said nervously.

"You're a pretty rude young man, Hiei Jaganshi," King Yama said.

"So?"

"Why are you my son's new secretary?"

"Secretary? Ptht. He calls me servant boy," Hiei said, ignoring Koenma's buggy eyes.

"Servant boy, huh?"

"Yup." Keep in mind that Hiei was upside down, stuck in the wall through all this. He realized his blood was all rushing to his head. "Excuse me a minute, I gotta get out of the wall," Hiei said. He lowered the phone to the ground by the cord, then he went about trying to pry himself out of the wall. He was pretty stuck. Eventually he got mad and and managed to punch the wall, resulting in more cracks. He punched the wall until that part of the wall just caved in completely, leaving a large hole. Hiei fell on his head and stayed that way for a second before he went off-balance and ended up flat on his face.

"Owie," he muttered. He picked up the phone again. "I'm back."

"You were stuck in the wall?"

"Yes."

"What was that explosion?"

"I got out of the wall."

"Did you destroy something?" King Yama asked, sounding angry. Hiei glanced at the hole in the wall.

"Of course not," he lied.

"Good. You better not have or you'll pay for it," King Yama threatened. Hiei raised his eyebrows.

"Pay as in money, or pay as in getting my butt kicked?" Hiei asked.

"Both."

"I didn't break anything," Hiei said, sounding very sure and nodding. His back was to the hole, so he didn't notice the dozens of ogres who were staring in at him and whispering behind his back.

"Good. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you to tell you that if Koenma does anything he shouldn't, tell me and I'll punish him," Koenma's father said. Hiei smiled evilly.

"Okay," Hiei said, plans already forming in his head.

"Goodbye." Click.

Hiei laughed evilly, looking at Koenma in an evil way.

"What's that look for?!" Koenma asked.

"Oh, nothing," Hiei said absently, hanging up the phone and walking back to his desk. "Oh, you've got a hole in your wall by the way." Hiei went about clearing the wall dust off the papers, smiling to himself as more plans formed in his head. Evil evil plans to get himself out of spirit world while at the same time getting Koenma in trouble. Muwahaha. Evil Hiei.

Koenma's jaw dropped. He had no clue how Hiei could be so happy after just talking to King Yama. Of course, Koenma hadn't heard the whole conversation. Just Hiei's side. Koenma walked over to Hiei's desk.

"Why are you so happy, servant boy?!" Koenma asked, slamming his fist down on Hiei's desk and sending some papers flying.

"Aren't I allowed to be happy?" Hiei asked happily.

"No! Well, yes, but you jsut talked to my father and you shouldn't be happy! You should be scared! He's the mighty King of Spirit World! You should be terrified!" Koenma whined.

"Really. Just like I'm terrified of you?" Hiei asked. Koenma grabbed an eraser off the desk and hurled it at Hiei's head. He ducked and it hit the back of the chair, bouncing off and hitting him in the back of the head.

"Owie..." Hiei muttered, standing up so he could get the eraser from behind him. "That whole reflection or richocet thing always gets me. I should get an eye implanted in the back of my head too..." Hiei muttered, picking up the eraser and throwing it at Koenma. It hit him in the forehead, leaving a red mark.

"Hey! You hit me!"

"Nope. That was the eraser," Hiei said, sitting down to write out some more papers. He wasn't paying attention and he got an eraser in the side of the head for his neglect.

"Ha ha, I hit you," Koenma said. "That's two for me!"

"STOP THROWING STUFF!" Hiei yelled, reaching in the desk drawer and pulling out a mega-box of erasers. "I'VE GOT 50 ERASERS HERE! YOU WANNA THROW STUFF NOW?!"

Koenma got buggy eyes.

"OH WAIT, THERE'S SOME THUMB TACKS IN HERE TO! I LOVE SHARP OBJECTS! YOU WANNA THROW STUFF NOW, SHORTY?!" Hiei screamed, pulling out a huge box of thumb tacks.

Koenma's jaw dropped.

"I'VE GOT SOME RUBBER BANDS, TOO!!! AND SHARPENED PENCILS!!! IT'S NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENT THAN A BOW AND ARROWS! YOU WANNA THROW STUFF NOW, SUCKER- FACE?!"

Koenma got about 20 sweat drops.

"FLAMING ARROWS!!!" Hiei screamed, holding a bow made out of a pencil and a rubber band, then getting a sharpened pencil, setting it on fire, placing it on the rubber band like an arrow, and shooting it at Koenma.

The door to Koenma's office opened and Kurama stood there with Yusuke, Shadow, and Kuwabara behind him. They stared at Hiei, shooting 'flaming arrows' at Koenma. Kurama turned around to face his friends. "And this is why you never want to be around when Hiei flips," Kurama said happily. In the background, Hiei was screaming about flaming arrows and shooting burning pencils at Koenma.. Kurama turned around and ran into Koenma's office towards Hiei. At the last second, Hiei spotted Kurama and turned on him to shoot arrows.

"AGH! HIEI, YOU LITTLE LUNATIC!" Kurama screamed, dodging the pencil. Shadow, Yusuke, and Kuwabara all ran in and tackled Hiei at the same time, piling on top of him to keep him down. They could barely hear his muffled screams. Something about not being able to breathe.

"Are you gonna calm down?" Yusuke asked.

"Air..." Hiei mumbled.

"Are you gonna calm down?" Yusuke asked again.

"Breathe..."

"I think he means we're killing him. He can't breathe," Shadow said, attempting to get up, but Kuwabara was on top of her. "Speaking of which, Kuwabara, you must weigh a ton. I'm finding it hard to breathe myself..."

"Thank... you... Need... AIR!!!" Hiei muttered. Shadow pushed Kuwabara off, stood up, and dragged Yusuke off Hiei. They left the little demon lying on the floor gasping for breath. Kurama stood there with the little upside- down-'u' eyes and a sweat drop. Hiei sat up.

"You people are murderous," Hiei said.

"I'm innocent," Kurama said.

"Thank you guys! You saved me!" Koenma said. Yusuke looked over and saw Koenma cowering under his desk. He burst out laughing.

"Ha ha, Koenma's afraid of Hiei!"

"I am not!" Koenma said, crawling out from under his desk and standing up.

"Riiiiiight," Yusuke muttered. "You just cower under your desk for the fun of it, I suppose?"

"No! Yes! No!" Koenma said, comfused. "Why are you here?!"

"We came to check on Hiei. Obviously he's not doing so well," Kurama muttered. He leaned closer to Koenma and whispered, "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing!" Koenma snapped.

"He threw stuff at me!" Hiei said.

"You horrible person! How can you expect Hiei to do anything when you're throwing stuff at him?!" Yusuke asked, acting like it was the worst possible crime to throw something at Hiei.

"Fine, I won't throw anything! Get lost!" Koenma snapped.

"OKay," they muttered, walking out. Shadow was in the back, and jsut before she went out the door, she turned around.

"Oh, you've got a big hole in your wall, by the way," she said.

"GET!" Koenma screamed, throwing a pen. Shadow pulled the door shut and the pen hit the door right where her head had been. "START WRITING, SERVANT BOY! I EXPECT YOU TO LISTEN TO ME FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS AND NEVER THROW STUFF AGAIN!"

Hiei rolled his eyes and went back to his desk. There were small fires everywhere from the pencils Hiei had burnt. Koenma called in a fire extinguishing group to put them out.

Hiei survived peacefully until about ten at night. Koenma was about to go to bed when Hiei stopped him.

[get ready for confusion.]

"Can I go home now?" Hiei asked.

"Home?"

"Yes."

"Where's that?"

"Kurama's house."

"Oh."

"Can I go home now?"

"No."

"... How about now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"How about... right now?!"

"Huh-uh."

"Oh."

There was a pause. Hiei looked miserable. Koenma stared at him.

"Can I go home now?" Hiei asked. Koenma looked annoyed.

"No."

"Why not?"

"You work here."

"So?"

"So you stay here."

"Working?"

"Yes."

"All night?"

"Yup."

"What about sleep?"

"Too bad."

Hiei's jaw dropped.

"You're the night shift," Koenma said. "Sit at my desk and stamp papers."

"No."

"Yes."

"Huh-uh."

"You better listen to me, servant boy!"

"Can I go home now?"

"No!"

"How about now?"

"NO!"

"You better say yes or I'll just go."

"Nnnnnnnnnnnno, you won't."

"Wanna bet?"

"There's security outside the door. You leave, they stop you,--"

"I kill them. I go home."

"No you don't."

"What makes you so sure, sucker mouth?"

"Don't call me names, servant boy."

"You can't stop me."

"You wanna bet?"

"I dare you."

Koenma yawned.

"I'm too tired now. I'll stop you in the morning," Koenma said, starting to leave again. Hiei caught the back of his shirt.

"You'll stop me now."

"No. Let go of my shirt."

"No."

"You better let go."

"Did you know there's a hole in your wall?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"You put it there, Hiei."

"So?"

"You should repair it."

"If I do can I go home?"

"No."

"Then it can just stay there."

"Fix it, Hiei."

"So now I'm fix-it boy too?"

"Yup. Fix the wall."

"I don't want to."

"So? Big deal!"

"I don't do what I don't want to do."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Kid, you need a serious attitude adjustment," Koenma said.

"Kid? I'm not a kid!"

"You're a high-school punk."

"No I'm not."

"Yeah."

"Just cuz I went to high school doesn't mean I'm supposed to be in high school."

"Then why did you go?"

"That dude made me."

"That dude made you?"

"Yeah. That PCA dude."

"PCA?"

"Prevention of Child Abuse."

"You wren't being abused, were you?"

"No."

"Why was he there then?"

"Cuz he was on some special routine surprise inspection thingy, and he came to Kurama's house."

"Oh."

"Can I go home now?"

Koenma groaned and rolled his eyes.

"You're annoying, Hiei."

"I know," Hiei said, smiling innocently. "Can I go home now?"

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"How about now?"

...

...

"... FINE! LEAVE!"

"Woohoo!" Hiei dropped Koenma and vanished.