Shepard stood in the main battery, adjusting the straps on his armor. He was smiling as Tali and Garrus made wagers over who would take down more Reaper forces in the push for Earth. Garrus was ribbing Tali for the lack of range on her shotgun, and she let him know that he may think differently when Husks were piling down on top of him.
These two had been with him longer than the rest. Garrus was the most loyal friend he had ever known. Tali was… more than that. He cleared his throat to let them know how much they meant to him, but he was interrupted by EDI's voice blaring across the speakers.
"ALERT! SHEPARD, THERE IS AN INTRUDER IN THE ENGINE ROOM!"
"An intruder?!" Garrus shouted as the trio charged to the elevator. "How is that possible? We're in deep space!"
"A stowaway, maybe?" Tali asked.
The elevator doors opened on the engine deck. Ashley was stood outside the door to the engine room, her Avenger gripped tightly. EDI's voice came across the speakers again.
"Shepard, I have locked the doors in an attempt to contain the intruder, but my security feeds have been scrambled. I do not know what they are attempting to do, or the status of Adams, Donnelly or Daniels. I would recommend haste however, my readings suggest someone is attempting to interfere with the drive core. I will open the doors at your request."
"Ash, you got my back?" Shepard asked. Ashley nodded. Taking cover by the door, Shepard told EDI to open the door.
The doors slid open with a metallic thud. Ashley went first, checking the corner before she proceeded. As the group entered the engine room, they saw Adams, Kenneth and Gabby down on the floor, laid out by the console. Tali rushed over and checked their vitals.
"They're just unconscious," she said, waving her omni-tool as she applied medi-gel.
"Tali, Garrus, get them to the med-bay," Shepard ordered. The two picked up the injured engineers and carried them out.
"Hold it!" Ashley shouted. She was stood with her Avenger pointed down the walkway towards the drive core. "Step away from the controls!"
"Careful, Ash," Shepard called to her, "if you hit the core, we might lose another Normandy."
He walked over to get a view of the intruder. The stranger was covered by a ragged cloak, but from his build he looked to be human. He faced away from the soldiers, attaching some kind of device to the core. It had some sort of cable that attached to a strange metal pack the man wore. It looked like some kind of Reaper tech.
Shepard though that this might be some kind of new Reaper abomination, but that thought process was cut short when the intruder spoke.
"Don't worry, Shepard. I just need a power boost to make the jump." The intruder's voice was raspy and metallic. As he turned to look over his shoulder, Shepard saw that the man wore some kind of mask that must have been modulating his voice. The tech, again, looked Reaper based.
"Who are you? How did you get aboard the Normandy?" Shepard shouted to the man, slowly approaching with Ash by his side.
"Well, that's the limit of this thing," the intruder said, tapping the metallic pack on his back. "It can jump between universes, but not space. If I'm on the Normandy in one universe, I'm on the Normandy in the next."
"Universes? What are you talking about?" Shepard asked, bewildered.
The man gave a sharp laugh.
"Don't you worry about it, Shep! You just focus on stopping the Reapers for now, because when I come for you, for all of you, there won't be a damn thing that can stop me!"
Shepard gave Ashley a sideways glance, his eyebrow raised a little. This guy made The Illusive Man sound measured, he thought.
The stranger fully turned to face the Commander, revealing that under his cloak he was entirely clad in the same kind of tech that covered his face. He tapped a button on his glove, and the drive core started to pulse with energy.
"What did you just do?!" Ashley shouted, raising her rifle. Shepard motioned for her to lower the weapon, looking at the core with concern.
"Don't worry Ash!" the man cackled. "The drive core usually survives the energy transfer. Usually!" He continued to laugh manically as the energy from the core started to pump through his armour, which pulsed with light.
"No!" Shepard shouted, and he lunged at the intruder. As Shepard grabbed the man and tried to pin him to the ground, the light pulsing through the suit and core became blinding. Suddenly Shepard felt the wind get knocked out of him, and he fell unconscious.
When he came to, he was still blinded by bright light, and his head was swimming. It took all he had to keep his stomach. He was lying on his back, and as he saw the shapes of people moving around him, speaking in hushed voices, he wondered if he was back in the Lazarus project.
Shepard tried and failed to sit up. As his eyes readjusted, he realised he was in the med-bay. On the beds next to him were Adams, Kenneth and Gabby, still unconscious. He pulled his head up to see that the hushed voices belonged to Garrus and Dr. Chakwas, muttering to each other over by her desk. They looked concerned. Still, thought Shepard. It was good to know the ship didn't explode. He doubted the Alliance could afford a new Normandy right now.
Garrus noticed Shepard stirring, whispered to Dr. Chakwas, and nodded towards the Commander. She turned and walked over to her patient.
"How bad is it, Doc?" Shepard groaned weakly.
"You'll be fine." Dr. Chakwas said as she shined a light into Shepards pupils. "You don't appear to have suffered any concussions or injuries. To be frank, we're not quite sure what happened to you. Why don't you fill us in?"
"We were in the engine room. That intruder, he was saying some crazy things… he attached something to the drive core, said it might blow up the ship. I tackled him and then… I woke up. Wait, the intruder, what happened to him?"
Chakwas gave a confused glance to Garrus, who was standing about a metre away, his arms crossed as he watched Shepard carefully.
"He got away. Left you behind. Stole our Kodiak and made a run for it." Garrus sounded guarded.
"But… we're in deep space, he couldn't have gotten far. Couldn't EDI track him?"
Garrus and Chakwas again looked confused.
"We're in dry dock. On the Citadel." Garrus said slowly. "Doctor, are you sure he doesn't have a concussion?"
"I don't believe so," she muttered. "What year is it?
"2186," Shepard replied.
"Good. Who is the head of the Alliance Military?"
"Vice-Admiral Hackett."
"Correct," said Dr. Chakwas. "Now, what is your name?"
"Commander Shepard."
Garrus and Dr. Chakwas looked at him blankly.
"So he does have a concussion," Garrus sighed.
"Listen to me," Dr. Chakwas said gently. "Commander Shepard is the commander of this ship, the Normandy. Commander Shepard is the fist human spectre. I am well aware that you are not Commander Shepard."
"What did you just say?" Shepard asked, bewildered. Before Chakwas could answer, a voice called out.
"Where did you get the armour?"
Shepard turned to see a woman standing in the med-bay doorway. She had red hair, roughly cut and hanging above her shoulders. There was a garish scar across her cheek and jaw line, and both it and her eyes glowed with an unnatural red light. She was, in fact, wearing N7 armour, near identical to what he was wearing. But if she was an N7, she was not one that Shepard knew.
"It's an impressive replica, I'll give you that. They got the stripe wrong though. It's supposed to be red. I swear, if Conrad Verner is selling his cosplays now, I'm gonna kick his ass…"
Shepard looked at the blue stripe that ran down from his shoulder pad, across his right arm and down to the back of his gloved hand.
"No, it's supposed to be blue. It's always been blue," he said, casting a suspicious glance at the woman, as she moved to stand beside Garrus.
"I'm sorry, who are you?" Shepard asked, as he painfully pulled himself to be sitting up. "What are you doing on my ship?"
"I'm Commander Shepard," the red-headed woman said, "and you're on my ship. So just who the hell are you?"
Shepard turned to Garrus, looking for some explanations from his friend. Instead, Garrus leaned closer to the woman.
"If this is another botched clone, I say we just let Javik throw it out the airlock," he whispered in her ear. The red-headed female Shepard smirked.
She leaned down to speak directly in Shepard's face.
"If I find out you've done anything to my ship, I will end you. Painfully."
Shepard was a little thrown by the threat, but he was more so distracted by the scar. Now that he got a closer look at it, it was familiar. It was his scar. Not just similar, but exactly the same. Shepard's hand drifted up to his own left cheek and gently traced the lines of where his scars had been after waking from the Lazarus project. His had long since faded, but he recalled the advice of Dr. Chakwas. A positive outlook would promote healing, a negative one would worsen them.
"Before I tackled him… he said he would jump between universes." Shepard muttered to himself.
"Well? Are you a clone?" the female Shepard asked. "Or just another psycho fan who wants to be me?"
"I hate that those are equal possibilities," Garrus sighed.
"I'm neither. I think… I am Commander Shepard. Just from another universe." Shepard said slowly. The words sounded crazy even to him. "I'm no clone. I was rebuilt by the Lazarus project, just as you were. I have the same scar."
"I can't see any scar," Garrus said.
"Actually, he's telling the truth," Dr. Chakwas interjected. "I noticed it when he was unconscious. It's faded, but it's there. I've examined your scar dozens of times Shepard, and I can attest that his is exactly the same. Beyond the level that could be faked. If he were some kind of gender-inverted clone, he would be grown fresh from your DNA. There would be no scar tissue."
"Okay, so not a clone," the female Shepard said reluctantly. "But from another universe? I've seen some strange things, but even I'm not buying that."
"It may be more likely than it sounds."
EDI walked in through the Med-Bay doors, her arms folded gently behind her back.
"Shepard, I have been analysing the radiation emitting from this other Shepard, and his Cosmic Background Radiation profile is subtly different from our own. The only explanation that I can hypothesise for this, as strange as it may be, is that he is from another universe."
"EDI, are you seriously suggesting that this guy is some kind of parallel version of… me?" The female Shepard was in disbelief. EDI nodded.
"Yes, Shepard."
"Oh, I don't feel so good," Garrus said. "I think I have to sit down. Shepard, don't look at me, it's making me queasy."
"What?" both Shepards asked, looking at him.
"Not you," he said the to the female Shepard. "Him." He jerked a thumb back towards male Shepard.
"You handled the clone thing fine," said female Shepard, crossing her arms.
"Yeah, but that was fun, and I kind of liked the idea of having two of you around. This is just too much."
EDI thankfully interrupted Garrus's meltdown.
"I suggest we ascertain what Shepard knows about the multiverse."
"What?" female Shepard, asked. "I don't know a damn thing about the multiverse."
"I think she means me," male Shepard offered. He filled them in on what went down on his Normandy as Garrus left the Med-Bay to do, what he called, a "relaxation calibration".
"What happened exactly when I arrived here?" Shepard asked.
"Your intruder arrived with you, in the engineering room," female Shepard supplied. "Whilst you were unconscious, he seemed to make the jump fine. He knocked out the engineering crew, stole our Kodiak and flew off into the Wards. We were able to track the shuttle to near the Presidium, but there was no trace of the thief."
"We need to find him," Shepard replied. "We have no idea what he is doing, but he looked like he was wearing Reaper tech, so it can't be good. And he is my only lead to getting back home."
"I'll come with you," said female Shepard, with a scowl. "If only so I don't have you trying to claim my ship."
The Med-Bay doors swung open, and male Shepard's spine turned rigid when he saw who walked in.
"Shepard, Garrus was saying some crazy things about our prisoner. What's the real story?" asked Kaidan Alenko. Male Shepard was looking at him with wide-eyes, and his mouth agape. "Is he, uh, okay?"
"Kaidan… you made it off Virmire…"
"Shepard, what's going on?" Kaidan whispered to the red-headed Commander. "Is is true? He's from another universe?"
"Yeah, Alenko," she said quietly. "It's true. Why don't you give us a minute here Major?"
Kaidan walked out of the Med-Bay, throwing male Shepard a concerned glance over his shoulder. The two Shepards locked eyes. There was a shared understanding. A shared… loss.
"I take it in your universe, Kaidan died on Virmire."
Shepard nodded.
"Which means that, for you, Ash is…"
"Still alive. I had to make a call. I try not to think about what would have happened, what things could be like if I… but I…"
"You had to make a call. We both did." Female Shepard's voice was resolute, but her eyes portrayed her pain.
After a moment, EDI cleared her throat.
"You're an AI in a robot body, EDI. We all know you don't actually have to clear your throat," sighed female Shepard.
"Yes, but the human custom seemed appropriate. I merely wished to present some new relevant data. As I stated previously, Shepard has a unique background radiation in this universe. The same could be assumed for the man who brought Shepard here. I have been scanning the Citadel networks for signs of similarly unique radiation, and have detected an anomaly near the presidium. I suspect this may be the man we are currently searching for."
"Then let's go get him," said Shepard as he stood.
"Just the three of us," said female Shepard. "This multiverse thing is enough of a headache already, I don't want more of the crew getting caught up in it."
"If I might suggest one more thing," said EDI. "Perhaps we should come up with codenames for the two of you, to reduce confusion."
"He can be MaleShep," said female Shepard.
"So, that makes you FemShep then?" asked male Shepard.
"No, it makes me Shepard, because this is MY universe, and I'M the real Shepard."
"I may have a less confrontational approach?" said EDI. "The Shepard of this universe can be Red Shepard, and the Shepard of the other universe can be Blue Shepard, in reference to the differing stripes on your armour."
"Works for me," said Blue Shepard.
Red Shepard nodded reluctantly.
After a brief stop by the armoury to gear up, the trio hailed a cab and set out, following EDI's readings.
Eventually they tracked the signal to a small bar called Hudson and Casey's.
"The radiation pattern I'm receiving here is much stranger than the one I observe on Blue Shepard," EDI said. "This pattern suggests that this being has been in a large multitude of different universes."
The Shepards and EDI paused outside the entrance to the bar.
"We know he can jump between universes, but I think he needs a large external power source to make jumps, so he shouldn't be able to get away this time," said Blue Shepard. "Still, this guy seems to have some pretty powerful tech, we don't know what he's capable of. So our priority has to be protecting any civilians in the bar."
"Yeah. Or," Red Shepard said, "you can worry about the civilians whilst I take this guy out."
"You're gonna kill him?" Blue Shepard asked exasperated. "Without him we have no way to find out who he is, what's going on, or how I can get back home!"
"We'll have his armour," snapped Red Shepard. "EDI can learn everything you need from that!"
"Actually," said EDI, "I should remind you that we are potentially facing a being who has mined knowledge from countless universes, has no known upper bound on his technology, and more than likely knows that he can be tracked from his radiation signature. So the odds are incredibly high that we are in fact not walking into a simple bar, but a carefully orchestrated trap."
"Great," sighed Blue Shepard. "So we have literally no idea what we're walking into, and cannot agree on how we should handle this likely trap."
"Yeah," grunted Red Shepard. "And I'm done talking about it." With that, she kicked the door to the bar in, and walked ahead, Carnifex in hand.
As Blue Shepard followed quickly behind her, the duo saw nothing but a fairly standard tavern. There was a Salarian tending the bar, a Krogan drinking in the corner and a couple of older Turians laughing and sloshing drinks around a table
"Where is he?" Red Shepard hissed.
"There," whispered Blue Shepard. He motioned towards the bar, where a cloaked figure was talking to an Asari. Though he didn't appear to be restraining or threatening her in any way, the girl appeared quite horrified. Sitting on the bar in front of the man was a small metal rod, a little longer than the palm of a man's hand. As the cloaked man continued to talk to the Asari girl, the rod seemed to start rolling away, until the man darted his hand out and grabbed it.
Blue Shepard noticed that when he grabbed the rod, his hand appeared to be lacking the Reaper style armour he wore before.
"He's unarmored, so we might have a chance," he said to Red Shepard, "but the Asari girl is likely a hostage, so we approach carefully and subtly."
Red Shepard instead decided to stride towards him with her gun drawn. As the Turians and Salarian bartender noticed what was going on, they hurried for the exits. The Krogan in the corner just leaned forward with interest. As they approached the cloaked man and the Asari, the Asari saw the heavily armed duo approaching, and much to Blue Shepard's surprise, downed her drink, got up, and walked away from the cloaked figure.
"Okay, just remember what I said Irina!" the cloaked man called to the Asari as she walked off. His voice wasn't modulated this time. It sounded oddly familiar to Blue Shepard, but there was an unnatural cadence to the way he talked, like there was something not quite right about the way his sentences were put together.
"Turn around slowly," Red Shepard growled, as she pushed her pistol against the cloaked man's back. The man just chuckled to himself, downed his drink, and pushed his hood back. He had unkempt hair, and he smelt like he hadn't bathed in a while.
He turned around, admittedly not quite as slowly as a man with a gun pointed at him should, and gave a big grin to the two Shepards.
"What are you guys, twins? Ha! Nice!"
It was an odd reaction, but that wasn't what was confusing the Shepards. No, the two were in shock for a different reason. It was a little hard to tell, he wore a thick beard and had long hair compared to Blue Shepard's cropped head, but this man was in fact Shepard himself. At least, he had the same exact face as Blue Shepard.
"I don't understand…" said Blue Shepard. "You're another Shepard?"
The man was indeed wearing another identical set of N7 armor, though his looked heavily worn, it had seemingly been damaged and repaired dozens of times.
"What are you doing here?" asked Red Shepard. "Where is your Reaper tech?"
"Oh, that's not me, that's the guy I'm hunting. He's long gone from the universe by now. He never sticks around these days. But that can wait," the new Shepard said with a strange gleam in his eye. "You want to go back to your Normandy, do it there?"
"What the hell are you talking about?" snapped Red Shepard, hesitantly lowering her gun.
"Oh," new Shepard said looking surprised. "We can do it here if you want?"
"Do what?" asked Blue Shepard. The new Shepard's grin somehow grew larger.
"It's like I said to Irina," he said, clasping both Shepards on their shoulder and pulling them in close. "We'll bang, okay?"
"We'll… what?" Red Shepard looked a little horrified. Blue Shepard realised why the Asari girl seemed so scared when talking to this man. He was an unmitigated psychopath.
This new Shepard sighed dramatically.
"That always used to work!" Shepard threw his hands dramatically in the air. "Everything was better back in my universe," he grumbled.
"So, you're not the person I followed into this universe?" Blue Shepard asked.
"No, that's Reaper Shepard."
"Reaper Shepard?!" both Red and Blue Shepards cried out in unison.
"That's what I call him," said new Shepard as he rustled behind the bar for some more drink. "He looks like he's wearing Reaper tech, and the guy is obsessed with killing Shepards. And the only other guy I know who is that obsessed with me, is me. So he's probably another Shepard."
"He didn't kill me when he had the chance," said Blue Shepard.
"Back in the early days, when I met him, he would have. That asshole used to travel from universe to universe, just to find and kill me. Damn shame, all those universes, without me in them anymore. These days he just say's he's working on something more efficient."
"Well what is he working on?" asked Red Shepard.
"Not a damn clue. Hey, you think this place serves steak?"
"Maybe," said Red Shepard, "but then I pulled a gun on you and everyone evacuated."
"Except for the Krogan," said EDI, who had been quietly listening.
"Hey, Krogan," new Shepard shouted over. "You know how to cook steak?"
The Krogan shook his head.
"DAMN IT!" Shepard shouted and punched the bar. As he did, the metal rod that was sitting in-front of him started to roll away aggressively. "Get back here!" Shepard shouted as he lunged and grabbed the rod.
"What is that?" asked Blue Shepard.
"This little bastard is how I travel between universes. He's not happy about it though, always trying to escape."
Shepard pounded the base of the rod against the bar, and holographic light poured out of both ends. The light bent around his fingers to create a sort of handle. From the front of the handle, the light stretched out, creating a sort of thin, snaking line until it reached a spot a couple of meters away. There, the light at the end of the line expanded and grew, until it took a small humanoid form.
"Is that a… child?" Blue Shepard asked, aghast.
"No," the new Shepard said, his nose crinkled like he was smelling a particularly foul fart. "It's a Star Child."
The Star Child glared at the Shepard holding his leash.
"Poop Shepard," the Star Child said, glaring at the man.
"I'll kick you, you know I will!" Poop Shepard shouted at him.
Star Child turned to face Red Shepard and Blue Shepard.
"I call him Poop Shepard, because he smells like poop."
So-called Poop Shepard whipped the handle, and the leash Star Child was attached to cracked him in the face. Star Child hissed at Poop Shepard, seemingly more out of extreme annoyance than pain.
"He's just mad because I threw him out an airlock once." Poop Shepard said with a chuckle, nudging Red Shepard with his elbow.
"YOU ENSLAVED ME!" Star Child screeched.
"But this isn't a real child, right?" Blue Shepard asked, horror written on his face.
"No," said Poop Shepard. "He's the… king of the Reapers, I think? Honestly I wasn't paying attention when he explained it."
Blue Shepard looked like he was about to explode. Red Shepard just sighed.
"I can't believe I'm saying this… but I don't think we have time to unpack what ever the hell that means."
Blue Shepard rubbed his temples and took deep breaths.
"You're right," he nodded. He turned to Poop Shepard. "You say this thing can travel between universes. How? Where did you get it? Can it get me back to my universe?"
"I got it after I left my universe. Reaper Shepard—
"Reaper Shepard does not use Reaper tech." Star Child interjected. "Reaper Shepard is an ill chosen name."
"Ignore him," said Poop Shepard. "He's a pissy little liar. If it it looks like a Pyjak, walks like a Pyjak, and talks like a Pyjak, then it's a Reaper. So, Reaper Shepard came for me, and tried to kill me. Let's just say, I misread his signals, and instead of shooting him, I tried to kiss him."
"Of course you did," groaned Red Shepard.
"You're damn right I did. And let me tell you, he did not appreciate that. He jumped the both of us out of that universe pretty quickly. Shook me loose and made a run for it. Wasn't long before I realised how much worse that universe was. But I already knew where to find this little bastard from when I beat him in my universe. So I found a whip smart inventor who made me this nifty little leash, so I could make him help me find a way back home. Not that it's worked out so far."
Poop Shepard took a swig from some bottle of purple stuff he had found, then made a gagging face and started spluttering.
"I can no more return you home than I can him," Star Child said, turning towards Blue Shepard. "The multiverse is a near infinite landscape, constantly shifting and growing. Navigating it is near impossible. It is simple enough for me to keep track of universes I have previously visited and return there. But beyond that, the only was for me to target a specific universe is when Not-a-Reaper Shepard travels universes. I can piggyback his trajectory and arrive in the same universes."
"So if we leave this universe, my universe," said Red Shepard," you could get us back without issue?"
"That is correct."
"But not my universe?" asked Blue Shepard.
"No."
"Boooo," called Poop Shepard. He tossed his bottle at Star Childs head, but his holographic form merely flickered as the bottle sailed right through him.
"I am ignoring you and conversing with your more rational counterparts," Star Child said calmly, but there was certainly some rage simmering in his eyes.
"So you didn't follow Reaper Shepard here from my universe then?" asked Blue Shepard.
"No, we can follow his jump from any universe, but the guy is all over place, and it's too much effort to always be following him." Poop Shepard said, reaching behind the bar again.
"Mostly he just makes me show him cat videos all day," Star Child said bitterly.
"That's a damn lie!" Poop Shepard said, holding another bottle of booze. "Someday we'll catch up with him. We think he has a log of all the universes he has visited, including mine and yours. With that we can get back home. Until then, free booze! Nice!"
"My universe is preparing to take back Earth, I don't have time for free booze," growled Blue Shepard. Red Shepard grabbed the bottle out of Poop Shepard's hand, took a swig, then dropped it to the ground.
"We're following him. Now." She grabbed Poop Shepard by his dirty cloak and pulled him to his feet.
"Whoah, hey I get it! Okay!" Poop Shepard yelped, before looking back at Red Shepard. "We'll bang, okay?"
She punched him in the face, putting him flat on his ass.
"YES!" Star Child cheered, throwing his arms in the air. "Get him!"
Poop Shepard groaned and rolled around on the ground, before coming to lie still on his back.
"I am… so tired… of that line not working. That's IT! I am getting back home! I am gonna walk right up to Ashley or Liara or Kaidan or Allers, and I am going to say 'We'll bang, okay?' And then we WILL! ACTUALLY! BANG!"
He leapt to his feet and cracked the whip at Star Child.
"REV THE ENGINE, STAR CHILD!"
Turning away from the Shepards, the Star Child started running in the opposite direction. As the leash pulled taught, Poop Shepard leant back and staunchly held his ground, whilst Star Child kept running in place. His little legs kept moving faster until they were practically a blur.
"EDI, get back to the Normandy, let them know what's happening," said Red Shepard. "I imagine another universe is probably a little out of your transmission range." EDI nodded and walked out the door.
"Okay, how does this work, what do we do?" asked Blue Shepard.
"Grab my ass." Poop Shepard said.
"Absolutely not," said Blue Shepard.
"I'd rather die," snarled Red Shepard.
The Star Child was now generating sparks around his feet.
"Guys, I'm not kidding," said Poop Shepard. "If you're not grabbing me from behind when the little guy shoots off, you'll lose your grip. My ass is the only place where you can get a proper hold."
At this point, there was a thrumming of energy in the bar, and Star Child looked like it was flickering in and out of reality. Blue Shepard cast Red Shepard a sceptical glance.
"Guys, DO IT NOW! GRAB MY ASS!" Poop Shepard shouted over the wind storm that Star Child had generated.
With great speed and shame, both Red and Blue Shepards took firm grip of one ass cheek each. A moment later the walls of the bar were torn down around them, and they launched off, first into space, then beyond. As they entered the space between universes, everything slowed and grew quiet. The universe behind them grew smaller and smaller, and the Shepards could see the rim of the universe enclosing it, like a bubble. Blue Shepard thought for a moment that they were in an ocean. The in-between space was blue, and danced with little flickers of light, like it was being refracted in water. More bubbles floated past them, with more tiny little universes within. Looking ahead, Red Shepard saw that Star Child was no longer running, but swimming. Doing breaststroke, as he carried them between realities. It was strangely beautiful.
The Star Child started swimming towards another bubble. It grew larger as they approached, and they gained speed gradually, until they were rocketing into the universe. Suddenly they came to a screeching halt, and the three Shepards fell forward into a pile.
When the Shepards managed to untangle themselves, they found that they were back in the same bar as before. But the lights were off, and it looked like the place had been ransacked some time ago. Red and Blue looked up to find the Star Child, looking down at them disappointedly.
"I just want you to know that you absolutely did not need to grab his ass. Holding any part of him would have worked."
"BACK IN YOUR CAGE!" Poop Shepard shouted, smacking the rod against the floor. The holographic light forming Star Child and his leash evaporated back into the rod.
Red Shepard stood, and kicked Poop Shepard hard in his ribs. Blue Shepard looked at her with discomfort.
"When we get back home, we don't have to tell anyone that part of that story."
"When I get back home," groaned Poop Shepard from the ground, "I'm going to tell EVERYONE that part of the story."
"Not if I kill you first," Red Shepard muttered.
As the trio walked out of the bar, each of the three Shepards noticed something different. Poop Shepard looked up and noticed that the sign for the bar was different. In this universe it was called Jen and Mark's instead. Nice, he thought to himself.
Blue Shepard looked up into the black sky above the Citadel. Instead, of the dark space filtered through an artificial atmosphere as Shepard was used to, he saw Earth. A great orb hanging in the sky above them. And it was burning.
"Earth…" he muttered. "Is this what will happen to it? Is this what's waiting for me?" He felt a cold sweat across his spine, and tried to keep his throat steady.
Red Shepard instead was looking around the Citadel. It was in ruins. Two of the arms had broken off and the wreckage was drifting away in space. There was no light except from that provided by the sun and the burning planet above, but without the artificial atmosphere properly working, the whole place was cast in an eerie pale glow. Red might have expected an abandoned space station to be silent, but there was an echoing groan as the metal strained to hold itself together.
The place was a devastated ghost town with no signs of life. Bar one. A single light was flashing down in the lower wards. Red approached the railing to get a better view. The light appeared to be emanating from the emergency lighting of a crashed ship. But not just any ship. Precariously hanging over the edge of a bridge was the Normandy.
"Looks like I found the next Shepard to join our crew," she said.
The three found an abandoned shuttle and flew down to the SR2. When they got closer, they found the ship was badly damaged and the hull had begun to rust.
"Are we sure the Shepard of this universe is still alive?" Blue asked.
"Well, there is someone on this ship," said Red. "Listen."
The unsettling echo of the destroyed Citadel was permeated by a slight whimpering, emanating from within the ship. The cargo door was shut tight, and the ship clearly lacked the power to open it. After poking about for a bit, the group managed to find a hole in the hull deep enough that they could pull themselves through, and into the cargo hold.
As assumed from the outside, the ship was powerless, and seemingly empty. The only light within came from the dull red glow of the emergency lighting that set out the path to follow. The elevator was out of power too, so Blue poked open the emergency hatch above them, and they haphazardly climbed the elevator shaft, trying to keep the creaks and groans of the ghost ship out of mind.
As they kept climbing, the sound grew louder, the whimpering turning to wailing. They climbed past the engineering deck, past the main deck, and all the way up to the captain's cabin. There, as they clambered out of the elevator shaft, they found the door to the cabin was still operational. As it slowly creaked open, the wailing stopped.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" Blue Shepard called out.
No response.
"I'm warning you!" Poop Shepard shouted, "I don't play with ghosts!"
Still no response. Red and Blue looked at Poop Shepard.
"Silence," he muttered darkly. "Exactly what a ghost would say…"
Red Shepard walked into the cabin. She looked to the left, and saw that the aquarium was still intact, but full of dead fish. Blue Shepard approached the desk, and picked up a framed picture on the desk.
The picture showed a few people sat on a couch together in a fancy Citadel apartment. Liara, Traynor, Cortez, Vega, EDI and Joker sat around a slightly pudgy man in the centre. He had a round face, with a blonde goatee, and a badly receding hairline. The most notable thing about the photo however, was the sullen, depressed look on the faces of all in the group.
Blue showed Red the photo.
"Does this look… kinda familiar to you?"
"The party I threw on the Citadel…" she mumbled. "But where is everyone? Where's Garrus? And Tali? Miranda, Wrex or Kaidan? Even Jacob was there."
"I threw that party too," said Blue Shepard. "It was one of the best nights I can remember. Bringing everyone together like that… it was nothing like this."
Poop Shepard leaned over their shoulders and chuckled fondly as he looked at the picture.
"I remember that party. One of the best orgies I ever had."
Red and Blue glared at him.
"What?" Poop Shepard asked. "You know me by now, this shouldn't surprise you. But you make a good point. I'd never hold an orgy with so few people. It's a waste of a buffett."
"That was everyone left by that point," a voice croaked, emanating from the bathroom. The toilet flushed within. The door slid open, and the pudgy man from the photo walked out. His eyes were red from crying, and he couldn't stop sniffling. "The rest are gone now too."
Saying that seemed to be too much for the man, and he broke into sobs. Blue Shepard pitifully patted the man's back.
"So, you must be Commander Shepard then…" He gave a concerned glance to Red Shepard, who looked at the crying man distastefully.
The trio filled in the sad Shepard on who they were and what was happening. For all that could be said about this somewhat pitiful Shepard, he certainly took the news in stride. Apparently concepts like the multiverse are easier to swallow when you have so little left going on.
This Shepard filled them in on some of the details of his life too. It was… not fun.
"I lost most of them on the suicide mission…" Sad Shepard looked off into the distance, a haunted look in his eye. "Wrex and Kaidan never made it off Virmire. Ashley never trusted me again after I worked with Cerberus. Tali was… not a fan of how I resolved the Geth and Quarian war."
"What about EDI?" Blue Shepard asked. "Why is she no longer active?"
"I tried to use the catalyst to destroy the Reapers," he sighed with a shaky breath. "But it backfired. Destroyed all synthetic life. Wiped out EDI and all the Geth… which really makes me wish I played the situation on Rannoch differently."
"But… it did work though," said Red Shepard. "You destroyed the Reapers?"
"Not… exactly." Shepard buried his face in his hands. "I activated the catalyst, but we never quite got it working. It wiped out all our synthetic life, but it only damaged the Reapers. They still could have won the war for sure, but at that point, the little Star Child said that watching my life was 'bumming him out', so he took the Reaper forces back into dark space for a hundred years. Said he'll come back once I'm gone."
Red and Blue Shepard looked aghast. Poop Shepard openly laughed.
"I think I know your nickname! You can be Failure Shepard!"
Failure Shepard wept. Blue Shepard gave him a comforting pat, whilst glaring at Poop Shepard. Red Shepard stifled a smirk, whilst Poop Shepard rolled on the ground laughing.
Blue Shepard offered Failure Shepard a new codename, but Failure Shepard put up no resistance, and said the title fit.
"We're here because we're chasing another Shepard," said Red. "He wears Reaper tech."
"Well, I don't know if it was another Shepard, but I've seen a man in Reaper armour."
"You really have seen him?" Blue exclaimed. "How recently?"
"Not sure… I don't really track time in here. But I've seen him multiple times. I thought it was just the Star Child sending a Reaper agent to ensure I wasn't preparing for their return."
The Star Child burst out of Poop Shepard's metal rod.
"Incorrect. The man does not wear Reaper armour, and you would be… beneath my concern."
Failure Shepard screamed. Poop Shepard leapt at Star Child in a futile attempt to wrestle the holographic boy back into his container.
Turning her back to the commotion, Red Shepard spoke to Failure Shepard.
"But you've seen him here multiple times? Where does he go? What was he doing?"
"Well… I don't know what he does, but he goes to the Presidium tower." Failure Shepard shakily rose to his feet, and offered them a weak smile. "I can show you the way."
Neither Red or Blue Shepard had the heart to tell him they all knew where the Presidium tower was.
The four Shepards climbed back down through the Normandy and out to the shuttle, occasionally stopping to help Failure Shepard when he got too scared to climb. The ride to the Presidium was blessedly quiet. The Star Child was right, listening to Failure Shepard was majorly bumming everyone out.
The shuttle came down just outside the elevator to the tower. As the Shepards clambered out, they saw a figure standing in front of the doors, but it wasn't Reaper Shepard. It wore a cloak, but this one was much more ragged, and draped over the figure loosely. It stood hunched over, and clasped its three-fingered hands together.
A gleeful giggle echoed from the figure.
"So they come, just as the prophecies foretold! The Paragon, the Renegade, the Fool and the Failure! Brought together at the Nexus of probabilities!"
"We don't have time for this," muttered Red Shepard. She fired off five quick shots directly at the figure, but they were all repelled by a shining blue shield that reached across the entire elevator.
"EEE, HEHEHE!" The figure squealed in delight. "None may enter without my permission!"
"And who are you?" Blue Shepard asked.
"I am the final vanguard! I am the herald of the end! I am the one who stands before victory or defeat! I am… the doorman!"
"I just want to shoot him more now," Red Shepard groaned. "Why do we need to deal with this guy now, on top of everything?"
"He is a bit much, right?" said Poop Shepard. "And that's coming from me…"
"What do you want?" Blue Shepard asked.
"My game is simple," the doorman giggled. "I will ask you three riddles. Solve any one of them, and I shall grant you entrance! BUT! You may only make one guess for each! If you fail all three…"
The doorman reached out his hands, and lighting arced out into the air.
"I WILL STRIKE THEE DOWN! YOUR LIVES AND UNIVERSES WILL BE FORFEIT!"
"Oh-my-f*cking god…" whispered Poop Shepard, eyes wide with fear.
"Alright then," Blue Shepard gulped. "Let's have your game."
"Riddle number one!" The doorman called out. "What is… the highest grossing film of the past decade?"
"BLASTO 4: JELLYFISH IN LOVE!" Poop Shepard immediately shouted.
"WRONG!" The doorman cackled. "THE ANSWER IS BLASTO 5: DRELL IN ARMS!"
"No, you idiot!" Red Shepard shouted, "I knew that!"
"Sorry, that's my bad," Poop Shepard said putting his hands up. "I'll let you guys handle the other ones."
"Riddle number two!" The doorman screeched. "How many… programs composed the Geth unit designated Legion?!"
"Uh… can we have a minute to talk it over?" Blue Shepard asked.
"Of course, Paragon, of course!" The doorman said, bowing his head.
Red, Blue and Failure Shepard lent their heads in.
"I feel like it was somewhere in the 700 range…" Red Shepard muttered.
"Really? I thought it was closer to 900…" said Blue, humming and hawing.
"0," said Failure Shepard, with a distant look. "Legion's dead too."
"Okay, we split the difference," said Blue Shepard, pushing right past what Failure Shepard's comment. "I say 900, you say 700 we'll go with 800. Fai— uh, Sad Shepard, give us a number between 0 and 100."
"24," said Failure Shepard, glumly.
"So, 824," whispered Blue Shepard.
"Is that even close?" asked Red Shepard.
"No idea," said Blue. "But it's as good a guess as any."
The group turned to the doorman.
"Um… 824?" asked Blue Shepard.
"WRONG! THE ASNWER WAS 1183!"
"Damn," said Blue.
"Shit," cursed Red.
"The final riddle…" The doorman did a little dance in excitement. "Your final chance! Are you ready?"
The group looked a little defeated.
"I guess?" Red said.
"Riddle number three!" The doorman's voice rumbled this time, much lower and more dangerous than before. "What is… my real name?"
"That's not fair!" Red Shepard shouted. "How are we supposed to know that!"
"The clues are all there!" he giggled.
"I think I know who it is…" said Poop Shepard.
"You don't say a damn word," Blue said, raising his hand to silence him.
"It couldn't be Legion, could it?" Red Shepard mused. "He asked that question about the programs running on Legion's platform…"
"I don't think so," said Blue Shepard. "It's definitely not Blasto under there."
"Wait…" mumbled Failure Shepard. "What did he say before? That he was the 'final vanguard', 'herald of the end', 'the one who stands before victory or defeat'?
"I think I know who it is. I've met someone who matched that description before. He was there… before the catalyst. I know your name. You're… Marauder Shields!"
Everyone looked at Failure Shepard with bewilderment. The doorman started to laugh. He laughed and laughed and laughed.
"You are… CORRECT!"
The doorman pulled his hood back, revealing a Marauder, a Reaper abomination created from a Turian.
"Who the hell is Marauder Shields?" Red Shepard asked.
"I await you all, before the end, all you Shepards." Marauder Shields looked from Commander to Commander. "I have met some of you before. Some I have yet to meet. But I am your destiny Shepard, always."
"Does that mean there is a version of you in our universes?" Blue Shepard asked hesitantly. He wasn't sure he wanted to meet this creature again.
Marauder Shields cackled.
"There is only one Marauder Shields!" With that, Marauder Shields whipped his cloak off his shoulders with one swift motion, and disappeared into thin air.
"… what just happened?" Red Shepard asked.
"Honestly," said Poop Shepard, "I was so sure it was gonna be Niftu Cal."
"The 'biotic god' guy?" Red Shepard asked. "He's a Volus, he's like three foot tall."
"Yeah, but the lightning," Poop Shepard mimed electricity shooting out of his hands. "That's a high-level biotic ability, right?"
Blue Shepard absent-mindedly tapped his wrist as the elevator rose. Red Shepard was checking her heat sinks in her Avenger, whilst Failure Shepard was leaning against the wall, with his face pressed against the glass. Poop Shepard sighed loudly.
"So… elevators? Slow in every universe I guess."
The others ignored him.
"Hey, here's an ice breaker. Who have you all banged?"
Blue rolled his eyes.
"Nobody?" Poop Shepard asked. "Fine, I'll go first. Diana Allers, obviously. Miranda, Ashley, Liara and Jack should go without saying. Kaidan too. There was Kelly Chambers and Steve Cortez. I could never work out how to do it with EDI. There was that one, uh, incident with Wrex—
"I'm going to need you to stop talking," Blue Shepard loudly said over Poop Shepard.
There was silence for a few more moments, before Red Shepard sighed.
"I had a thing with Liara when we went after Saren, but I've been with Garrus since the Lazarus project."
"Garrus? Really?" Poop Shepard seemed annoyed. "I could never get that damn Turian to stop showing me his rect—"
"TALI!" Blue Shepard shouted, just to shut him up. "I'm with Tali."
"You're with Tali? I could never get under her suit…" Poop Shepard looked pensive for a moment before, unfortunately, speaking once more. "So, this is a gross question even for me, but what does her sweat taste—"
The elevator dinged as they reached the top of the tower.
"I won't lie," Poop Shepard said, "you dodged a bullet there."
The four walked out into the presidium, weapons drawn. The hall was draped in metallic coils that drowned out the light. The room was only visible for the green glow that emanated from the strange machines that littered the room. The coils and tech all lead to the back end of the room, where the Council once stood. In their place was a towering engine, pulsing with energy. The only other source of light was a blue pool in the centre of the room. The light that shone out from the pool danced across the roof of the chambers. They cast the silhouette of a figure who sat in the centre of the shallow water.
"Welcome. I've been expecting you for some time. All you… Shepards."
The figure rose. It was Reaper Shepard. He had cast aside the cloak, so his Reaper tech suit was on full display. It was covered in sharp edges, and the mask looked like a skull. The light in it pulsed the same green glow as the rest of the tech in the room.
"I knew this was coming since you arrived. It means I'll need to execute my plans early, but I'll still decimate the Shepards of the multiverse. And I can always do it again."
"I don't understand!" Blue Shepard shouted. "Why are you doing this? Why do you want to kill other versions of yourself?!"
"You— You think I'm one of you?! You think I'm a SHEPARD?!"
The man clad in Reaper armour reached up, and tore the mask of his face.
"No," Blue Shepard gasped.
"It can't be…" Red Shepard turned pale.
"What the f*ck-!?" Poop Shepard exclaimed.
Standing ahead of them was a young Corporal that no Shepard had seen since Eden Prime, where a stray bullet had bypassed his shields and ended his life before his time.
"JENKINS!" The three Shepards called out in unison.
"That's right, Shepard! The one you forgot! The one you left behind!"
"But… Jenkins, you weren't left behind," said Red Shepard. "You were shot by a Geth Drone! You didn't have your shields up properly!" She turned to the other Shepards. "Wait that happened to you too, right?" All three nodded.
"Exactly! I die in EVERY universe! Jenkins never gets invited to the party! Jenkins doesn't get a romance! What does Jenkins think about Shepard joining Cerberus, oh wait, it doesn't matter, because Jenkins is ALWAYS DEAD!"
He angrily kicked about the water he was standing in.
"You see, I'm the only exception. You didn't save me, oh no, of course not! You just assumed I was dead and left me there, you didn't even check on me! I spent three years incapacitated by my injury whilst you were off saving the universe! I hated you so much… but I moved on.
"That was the case, until I met a brilliant scientist. He told me he could breach the walls between universes. Just like me, he looked up to you, until you held a gun in his face and told him to get lost."
"Wait, you're talking about Conrad Verner?" asked Blue Shepard. "That's not even true, I never put a gun in his face, why does he keep telling people that?"
"I actually did do that…" muttered Red Shepard.
"You know he's the guy that made this for me?" Poop Shepard said, waving the rod containing the Star Child.
"Conrad Verner is the key to multiverse travel…" said Blue Shepard. "I did not see that one coming."
"Verner said that he could find a universe where things were different, where Shepard respected us," Jenkins said. "But when we went looking, we found out the truth. That in every single universe, you let me die! That's when I knew that I had to get my revenge, I had to make us even! If there can be no Jenkins in the multiverse, then there can be no Shepards. Conrad, that fool, still wanted to find a universe where the two of you were friends. So I killed him, and took his tech to travel universes."
"Is that the armor you're wearing now?" Red Shepard asked. Jenkins nodded. "Huh, so it wasn't Reaper tech after all."
"No, Verner called it BioWare. I just altered it to look similar. I just wanted something that screamed, "I will kill Commander Shepard", you know?" Jenkins mused.
Star Child popped out of Poop Shepard's hand, still attached to his leash.
"Told you," he said whilst examining his fingernails. Poop Shepard shook his head in annoyance.
"Sorry, you were monologuing?" Red Shepard said to Jenkins.
He had his hands on his hips and was looking at the Shepards intently.
"You guys are really ruining this for me, you know?" He sounded exasperated.
"Killing you individually was fun at first. This armor not only healed my injuries, but it gave me the abilities of a true biotic god. But it wasn't enough, I needed to wipe you all out. So I made this," Jenkins gestured to the room around him. "A Shepard killing machine. It works like this. I travel to as many universes as possible, mapping them here, in a pool of worlds." Jenkins kicked about the water he was stood in. "Then, any thing I do to someone in this pool, happens to every version of them in every universe I have mapped."
"So, if you kill one of us in that pool…" Blue Shepard said.
"Then you all die." Jenkins grinned. "And millions of other Shepards in the other universes I have mapped. Luckily, I found the perfect universe to build this machine in. The universe with the most pitiful, weak, useless Shepard I've ever encountered."
They all turned to face Failure Shepard. He gulped so hard he dropped his gun.
"You should probably run," Red Shepard whispered to him. He nodded and turned to make a sprint for the elevator, but only made it about 10 feet before he tripped and hit his head on the floor. "Well, that tracks." Red Shepard sighed.
"Hand him over," Jenkins said, reaching out a gloved hand. "Or stand in my way, and I'll use you instead. Regardless, all Shepards will die today!"
"Then I guess the choice is obvious," Red Shepard said, raising her pistol. But instead of pointing it at Jenkins, she lifted her aim to the roof, and pulled the trigger. She hit a cable that let a precariously positioned piece of tech fall loose. It swung down, still attached to some cables, and slammed Jenkins out of the pool.
"Nice shot," Blue Shepard said, "but I don't think that will keep him down."
Sure enough, Jenkins was already stirring.
"Star Child," Blue Shepard said, turning to the ethereal boy. "Can you infiltrate this technology? Hack the suit and let us get at him?"
"Pfft." Star Child snorted. "Easily. But why should I help you?"
"Because of that," Blue pointed to the pool in the centre of hall. "With the map of the multiverse he has in there, Poop Shepard and I can get back home, which means you get to go free."
"I suppose…" Star Child hummed, chewing his incorporeal cheek in faux contemplation. "But I'd need this taken off first." Star Child tugged at the leash around his neck.
"Don't listen to him!" Poop Shepard shouted. "He's just trying to get free!"
"Do it or die, loser!" Star Child screeched at him.
"We don't really have a choice here!" Red Shepard called over to them, keeping her gun trained on Jenkins.
Grumbling, Poop Shepard tossed his control rod in the air, then blasted it with his Carnifex. The rod exploded, and the leash around Star Child's neck evaporated. He smirked, massaging his throat.
"Keep him distracted." Star Child nodded towards Jenkins, and with that, he disappeared.
Jenkins had finally recovered from the blow, and was now striding towards the group, vengeance written across his face. Red Shepard unloaded her Avenger on him, but the bullets all bounced off his shields.
"Guess he fixed them since Eden Prime," she muttered.
Jenkins waved his hand, and the weapon flew out of Red Shepards, hands. Blue Shepard made to lift his own Avenger, but Jenkins swiped, and that was gone too.
Jenkins pushed his hands forward and sent a biotic shockwave that knocked both Red and Blue on their backs. But Poop Shepard counterintuitively leapt forward, towards Jenkins, and avoided the blast. He landed right in front of Jenkins though, who grabbed him by the collar on his grubby armor and dragged him towards the pool.
"Jenkins!" Poop Shepard shouted as he struggled against his grip. "I know how you feel, but this isn't about you and me!"
Jenkins held Poop Shepard up, above the water of the pool.
"What?" he growled.
"It's not about you and me," Shepard said again. "It's about me and me… and me."
Jenkins grabbed Shepard by the throat and began to squeeze.
"You think that the certainty of your death matters?" Shepard choked out. "This is the Shepard-Verse baby! It's all Shepard, all the time down here!"
"Not… anymore…" Jenkins growled, squeezing the life out of the man.
"I just.. I need…" gasped Shepard. "Just one more… one thing…"
His eyes were rolling into the back of his head, and his face was purple. But curiosity got the better of Jenkins, and he loosened his grip for a moment, and pulled Shepard close.
"We'll… bang… okay?"
Jenkins was about to tighten his grasp once more, but Poop Shepard moved first. He grabbed Jenkins by the back of the neck, pulled him close, and passionately kissed him.
Jenkins threw Poop Shepard to the ground in disgust.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"You were the one who wanted a Jenkins romance," Poop Shepard spluttered. He turned to look behind Jenkins. "You got it?"
"His weapons and shields are disabled," the Star Child said with a curt nod.
"Hm?" Jenkins turned to see Red Shepard, Blue Shepard and the Star Child behind him.
"Hey Jenkins," Blue Shepard said, pacing towards him. "I've had enough of your obsessive vendettas." And he punched him in the face. Jenkins spun and landed face down in the pool.
Jenkins clambered slowly to his feet, and found himself face-to-face with Poop Shepard.
"I've had enough of your arch exposition," he said. And he punched him in the face. Jenkins landed on his ass.
Slowly, he pulled himself to his feet. His breathing was laboured and his face bloody. This time he was facing Red Shepard.
"I've had enough of your villainous machinations." And with the strength of a Krogan, she punched him in the face. His head brutally snapped backwards, and Jenkins collapsed into the pool. Red Shepard looked down, and spat on him.
"I think you might have killed him." Poop Shepard said, looking down at the body with wide eyes.
"If he died in the pool, then… is that why Jenkins is dead in every universe?" Red Shepard asked, scratching the back of her head with a little twang of guilt.
"So, it's over?" Blue Shepard asked the Star Child. "We can all go home?"
"Yes," said the Star Child, with a small smile. "Step out of the pool please."
The Shepards all moved out of the way, and the Star Child stood in the centre of the water. He swirled his arms, and Jenkins' body submerged into the water and disappeared.
As the star child continued to move, bubbles began to fly through the pool. Blue Shepard knelt by the pool, and watched them flit past. Whereas the bubbles he saw when travelling the multiverse before each held small universes, these were different. Each bubble contained a single person. Many looked different. Many looked similar to Red Shepard and himself. He saw soldiers and biotics and engineers. War heroes and sole survivors and some ruthless bastrards. Each of them made different choices, but he knew the name of every single one of them. They were Commander Shepard, saving the damn galaxy.
Eventually, the bubbles stopped shooting past, and three bubbles remained, and floated to the surface.
"These are your universes," the Star Child said. "Simply step into the pool, and you shall return home.
Blue Shepard looked into the bubble representing his universe. He saw Tali, Garrus and EDI in the engine room, searching for him. Looked like his Normandy had survived after all.
Poop Shepard looked into his bubble, and had to wipe away tears. It had been so long since he was home. A utopia where people would some times wear swim suits into battle, where Liara may or may not be a Reaper doomsday device, and everyone else was just as psychotic as him.
"Double nice," he said quietly to himself.
"Before we go back, we should probably check on the unconscious Shepard," Red Shepard said. "I feel kinda bad for him, leaving him here to face the Reapers as he is."
"He's not unconscious," Star Child said. "He's dead."
"What?!" exclaimed Blue Shepard.
"Yeah, he broke his neck when he fell," said Star Child. "He's been kaput this whole time."
"Well then we definitely can't leave his universe like this!" Blue Shepard groaned.
"Actually, I think I may be able to help here," Star Child said, scratching his chin. "I can't deny I've changed over my time with you Shepards. I've come to feel a certain… kinship, with you. And it would be my honour to stay here, help my counterpart and the Reapers find a better solution, for everyone."
"Really?" Poop Shepard gasped, beaming down at the Star Child.
"NO! You enslaved me you dick!" Star Child shouted, spinning towards him. "What I'm actually going to do is go and find the Reapers of this universe, tell them what a colossal ass you are, and then we're going to jump to your universe, and this time we're going to win the war!"
And with that, the Star Child vanished.
"Oh," said Poop Shepard. "That's… not good."
"Do, uh, do you want us to help you with that?" Blue Shepard asked reluctantly.
"No, it'll be fine. My universe is pretty light, tonally speaking, so I'm sure it'll all work out. Besides, Star Child loves me deep down."
Poop Shepard, took one step into the pool, turned to face Red and Blue, and with one last grin, said his final farewell.
"We'll bang, okay?"
And just like that, Poop Shepard was gone.
"I can't believe I'm gonna miss him," smiled Blue Shepard.
"I'm not," grunted Red Shepard.
"No, me either," admitted Blue. "He really was insane."
"Well," said Red Shepard, "This has been fun, but if you get tied up in this stuff again, don't drag me into it."
"That's fair," said Blue, with a laugh. He stood straight and saluted. "Commander."
Red smiled and saluted in response.
"Commander," she said. She turned and looked towards the blue glow of the pool. "I should go." With a final wave, she walked into the waters, and vanished.
Blue Shepard, or just Shepard, as he was the only one left now, looked into the pool one last time. He couldn't help but wonder… what if? What if he saved Kaidan instead of Ashley? What if he had been more aggressive and impulsive, like Red? What if he had fallen for someone else? The thoughts left his mind quickly as they entered. That was the story of another Shepard. Time he returned to his.
He took a deep breath and stepped into the pool, ready to go back home at last.
Happy N7 day everyone!
