Part 8
The Training Begins
Disclaimer: I own nothing mentioned, except for original characters.
Thought of the Day: It is very hard to come up with good "Thoughts of the
Day."
In a remote corner of Japan, which is a remote corner of the world, there is a
place that completely violates the Laws of Physics. It was known as
"Kami's Lookout," until that particular Guardian of the Earth had
merged with Piccolo. Now, Piccolo had taken Kami's place. He and Mr. Popo, a short, round black man
with no discernible nose and oversized lips, were the sole inhabitants of the
massive structure. Well, technically
there was Dende, but he was off doing who-knew-what. All Piccolo knew was that the new Guardian of the Earth would
spend large amounts of time missing, and he was constantly picking up the slack. He didn't know where or why, but he had
heard rumors from Gohan that a "Green Messiah" was making his way through
various Third World nations, healing the sick and whatnot. If that's Dende, I suppose this isn't TOO
boring. I mean, I wasn't doing anything
more important anyway.
The green man sat in an opulent
palace, suspended thousands of feet into the air by a far too thin totem pole.
Piccolo was spending his day as he normally did, meditating. Occasionally he
would journey into the forest at the base of the structure to train, but it
hadn't been as pressing since Cell had been defeated.
Crouched in a lotus position, the Namek was breathing in a slow, deliberate
manner. He resembled a human or Saiyan, except for a few minor differences.
First of all, his skin was a green hue, and he had pink marks on his arms and
torso. From his head sprouted a pair of antennae, and he had claw like
fingernails and fanglike teeth. (Author's note: OK, fine! He looks absolutely
nothing like a human or Saiyan! Just forget I said anything!!!)
Mr. Popo was off doing...
whatever it was Mr. Popo did when Piccolo wasn't around. Not that the Guardian
of the Earth particularly cared.
* * * * * *
Elsewhere in the Shrine:
"Gotta catch `em all! Pokemon!"
* * * * *
Suddenly, Piccolo detected five energy signatures moving towards his residence.
The reached out to each one, in an attempt to discern their identity. He didn't
recognize any of them.
One had a fairly conventional power level, drawing upon Chi as he did. This one
was reasonably strong, but nothing compared to himself or his friends. Another
was, based on her signal, unconscious. Her Chi power was laughable, but Piccolo
sensed that there was a sleeping strength buried deep beneath the surface.
Close to her, possibly the one carrying her was slightly stronger than she was,
but still puny. However, energy unlike any other he had yet encountered seemed
to flow from him. Another female signature flew. She was an odd mix of Chi and
whatever energy surrounded the second male. Finally, and most powerful, was
another female. This one's Chi was oddly familiar. It resembled the unconscious
girl's energy, but also that of somebody else close to him. Her power was
enough to pose a threat should violence break out.
He rose to his feet. "Mr. Popo! We have visitors!"
"Yes, Piccolo." He switched off his television.
* * * * * *
SU5 arrived about five minutes later. Phil, being the strongest member of the
team, took point. Slightly behind and to his right, Ecks landed and rolled. She
drew her oversized staff out of the nothingness she kept it in and prepared it
to fire. Ralph gently set Usagi to the ground and moved to Phil's left. He
activated his lightsaber, and the red column of energy extended, ready to
defend against any threat. Moving like a professional, GoChibi took up a
fighting stance next to Phil.
Piccolo stood waiting for them. He was clothed in his usual white outfit with
the ludicrously large shoulder pads. "You're trespassing. What do you
want?"
Phil, seemingly unimpressed, stepped forward. "I am Sergeant Phil of the
Physics Police. May I see your Super Hero license?"
"My what?"
"You heard me. Hand it over."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"In that case, you are in big trouble." He pulled out a pair of stun
cuffs. "You are under arrest for multiple acts of superhuman strength,
speed and stamina without a license."
"You think you can take me?" The Namek grinned savagely.
"No, but I think she can." GoChibi transformed to Super Saiyan. Her
now blonde hair was forced from the bands that had kept it in pigtails and
stood straight up.
"What... you're Chi... it's just like Gohan's..." Now he knew why she
had felt so familiar.
Phil coughed into his hand. "Ahem. I have been authorized to pardon you
for your offenses if you will a) return with Ecks here to get your registration
and b) let us use the Hyperbolic Time Chamber."
"Huh? Return where?"
"The less you know, the better for you. However, I need to train badly if
I'm going to survive in this timeline, so I need your facilities. Also, Ralph
here will need to stay with the meatball head."
"And what would the penalty be for my "crimes?" He nervously
eyed the Saiyan girl.
"Approximately three hundred years, give or take."
Piccolo winced. "I think we have a deal, but the second I get back, I want
an explanation!"
A wormhole opened in the fabric of reality, and Piccolo and Ecks fell through
the space between dimensions.
Phil stooped over, bending his arm at GoChibi's level. "Shall we?"
She looped her arm around his, and the two merrily skipped towards the
Hyperbolic Time Chamber.
* * * *
Piccolo's already oversized anime eyes were larger than ever. He had seen alien
worlds; beings that could destroy a planet in their sleep and at least a dozen
shape shifters. Until a few moments ago, he had thought that nothing would ever
surprise him again. His senses were assaulted by a myriad of sights, smells and
sounds. He heard conversation in more languages than he knew existed, several
alien species that he had never even imagined and smells that ranged from
intoxicating to nauseating. Ecks was leading him along, and occasionally had to
use all of her strength to move the Namek as he stared at something. Finally, after
what seemed an eternity, they made it to the licensing desk.
"Here you are. I'll be waiting. Just holler when you're done." She
disappeared into the endless sea of cubicles.
Behind the counter was, to his surprise, a perfectly normal man.
"Name?"
"Uh, Piccolo."
"Would that be a first name or a last name?"
"Uh, I'm just Piccolo."
"OK." He checked another box. "Home address?"
"Uh, my home really doesn't have an address."
"Well we need an address in order to give you your license."
Piccolo frowned. It looked like it could take a while.
* * * *
"Ralph, your job is to make sure Usagi doesn't fall off the edge. That
would be a bad thing." Phil looked past Ralph's shoulder to see the
drugged up Moon Princess. "In principle. If the other Senshi find out
we're here, what do you do?"
"Hit Usagi with another dose of chloroform, use the Reality Checker and
engage them at close range."
"Very good. See you in two years." Phil and GoChibi entered the
overly ornate entrance to the Chamber. On the other side was a fairly normal
dwelling, with more luxuries than he had expected. On the wall was a huge
clock.
GoChibi scratched her head in confusion. "What's this place?"
"It's called the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. I'm surprised Gohan didn't tell
you about it. Every day we're in here passes as a year for us, and we're
allowed to stay two days. For now, we are just focusing on increasing our
physical strength. Special techniques and strategies can wait until
later."
"Why are we here?"
"Look, at the moment neither of us is strong enough to be much of a threat
to the Z fighters or their enemies. You managed to bluff Piccolo back there,
but we got lucky that he didn't notice how hard it was for you to transform.
Now, we work on our base powers."
Thus began their training.
* * * *
Two Hours (1 Month) Later
A scared little girl ran through a seeming dreamland. It was white in all
directions, and nothing else. She was sure she was lost, but couldn't stop
running. She had been fleeing from her pursuer for hours, and couldn't see him.
Suddenly she saw a shadow on the ground beside her. She glowed yellow, and
GoChibi transformed into Super Saiyan. The presence above her began to glow
red. With this, Phil scowled menacingly at her. "For the last time, young
lady, you are taking a bath. Now!"
She unleashed a bolt of Chi energy, which Phil barely managed to avoid. He
fired his own barrage, and sheer number of energy beams ensured that a few of
them hit. Then, the two came to physical blows. Phil was using his longer reach
and greater mass to hammer GoChibi while she vainly attempted to block and
parry the blows. She cupped her hands. "Kame..." When Phil moved his
arms to block the blast, she halted her attack and flew forward, planting her
fist directly into his gut.
The wind knocked from his lungs, Phil collapsed to the ground in a heap.
GoChibi pressed the attack, but her stubby leg passed through the afterimage of
Phil. The real warrior materialized directly behind the young Saiyan and his
fist smashed into her temple. Stunned, she plummeted towards the ground like a
marionette with its strings cut. After making a crater in the blank
nothingness, she leapt back to her feet, activating a blue lightsaber. Phil
pulled out the yellow bladed weapon that replaced the one lost in his fight
with Kerrigan. The two flew towards each other at approximately mach 2, and
began to execute a midair version of the Jedi's odd fighting style.
GoChibi landed a burning strike against Phil's right arm. Fortunately, the
weapons were only set to training levels. However, it still stung. Whipping out
with his right foot, he kicked away her lightsaber. He struck out, and the
yellow blade lopped away some of her hair
"Hey!"
"Don't worry about it. That look is definitely you!"
"But I'll look like Misty with bright pink hair!"
Phil winced. "I guess you're right. I'll fix that," he said, his
voice taking a dark tone. "After your bath."
"Never!" Using her small grasp of the Force, GoChibi plucked her
weapon from where it lay. She began to force Phil back with the ferocity of her
attack.
"Kayo-Ken times forty!" The red glow surrounding his body
intensified. With a single backhand, he slapped her across the face. The young
Saiyan clung desperately to consciousness. Phil lifted her by her right arm,
dangling her at about eye level. "Give up yet?"
She responded by swiftly kicking him in the groin. Even using the Kayo-Ken,
Phil's eyes began to water after the Super Saiyan's blow. In a very
high-pitched voice, he commented, "Impressive. Most Impressive. But you
are not a Jedi yet!" He waved his hand directly in front of her face. His
voice still unusually high, he said, "You are very sleepy." She
immediately dozed off. "The Force can have a great influence upon the weak
minded. Heh." The red glow dissipated, as did her yellow aura. He walked,
bowlegged, back to the living area. Good thing I put that homing beacon over
there. It's really easy to get lost around here.
* * * *
GoChibi awoke. It took her a moment to remember where she was.
"Phil-san?"
Then she smelled the familiar aroma of frying meat and vegetables. Putting two
of her fingers to her head, GoChibi teleported directly next to Phil. He was in
front of the stove, making some sort of stir-fry. Shocked by the sudden
appearance of the young Saiyan, Phil grasped his chest and glared at her.
"Gah! Don't do dat!"
"What'cha makin?" She sniffed the concoction, and a grin spread on
her face. "Fajitas Con Phil! My favorite!"
"Yeah, that was what I was planning on calling them. But this is the first
time I've made, it so how..." He smacked his forehead. "Of course!
You're from the future!"
"Yeah. You're a really good cook."
Phil blushed. "Aw, gee, you're spoiling me."
"You make this all the time."
Phil's eyebrow rose. "You mean, every time you visit. Right?"
"Oh, no. I spend more time at your house than at the Palace. Mom and Pop
are always too busy to take care of me, and none of the maids like me much
cause of my powers, so I basically live with you."
"Wait a minute. You mean, in the future, I'm your... nanny?"
She furrowed her brow in concentration. "Yeah, you could say that, I
guess..."
Phil lowered his ladle. His face was an emotionless mask. He calmly placed the
ladle in GoChibi's hands. "Could you watch this for a minute?" She
nodded. "Thank you." His body glowed a dark purple as he swiftly flew
into the white void.
After stirring the fajitas a moment, GoChibi decided to add a few more onions.
While she cut the vegetables, she heard a faint yell of, "Perfect Shi Shi
Houkou Dan!" A purple flash filled the air, and a massive shockwave
followed a moment later. While the structure shook around her, the future Moon
Princess continued to obliviously slice the onions, while singing a happy
ditty.
* * * *
Later:
The two warriors sat at the simple table. Phil hadn't spoken since returning
and finding out that GoChibi had been ordered by Future Phil to destroy Present
Phil's cyanide pills. Her exact words had been, "Something about a
suicidal impulse, but he...you... he didn't explain what it meant."
Phil finally spoke. "Sorry I reacted like that."
"Reacted like what?"
Phil's eye twitched. It's like Gohan's genius somehow exists alongside
Usagi's ditziness. Weird. "Never mind. What I was going to mention
earlier was that I've figured out how we can completely dominate anybody we run
into here."
"How?"
"Well, there are two steps. First of all, no more transformations or
Kaio-Kens." GoChibi sat there in shock. She almost stopped eating. Almost.
(One can't fight the combined glutton genes of both a Saiyan and Usagi for
long.) "You see, I've uncovered a basic fault in every training exercise
in every Dragonball Z universe after the Super Saiyan level is discovered.
Basically, everybody here relies too much on the "next stage" in
whatever series of transformations they practice. A stage that may not exist.
Piccolo remains a powerful figure, but only because he regularly absorbs other
Nameks. But, you see, one can't rely on that. Also, they always train in Super
Saiyan mode. It makes it almost impossible for them to strain themselves, which
means they have to work that much harder to grow stronger. You see, one basic
element of both the Kaio-Ken and Super Saiyan transformations is that it
increases your power based on your original level. It's easier to find a way to
work out in normal mode, so gaining even, say, a one percent power boost during
training can have profound results on your transformed state."
"OK, I see. So, we're going to work out as is?" She pointed to her
hair. After losing the hunk during the fight, Phil had rearranged it into a
simple pigtail that was a little more than shoulder length.
"Well, that's the first half. Also, every technique and transformation
I've seen around these parts wastes insane amounts of energy on cool lights and
sounds. Once we train a bit more, I'll start working on increasing the
efficiency of our attacks. You'll probably be able to adapt it to your Super
Saiyan transformations, but I make no guarantees. We still need to work on our
speed, but our regular training should cover that." Seeing that GoChibi
had cleaned her plate, he used a small amount of Force to clear the table.
"Step one begins now." A blue battle aura surrounded him. "After
you." He opened the door. Actually, he more ripped it off its hinges.
"Oops. Maybe I should have powered up after opening the door."
He shrugged. After all, they had another twenty-three months to train. He would
fix the door another day. Its not like they really needed a door. Who were they
trying to keep out? With these questions on his mind, GoChibi flew out the
door, with Phil on her tail. The two began to exchange blows and energy
attacks.
But what about Piccolo?
* * * *
After five hours of filling out paperwork, Piccolo wiped his green,
perspiration-coated brow. This is harder than it looks. He handed the last form
to the man behind the desk. "So, when do I get my license?"
The serious man chuckled. "Oh, those weren't the forms for your license.
Those were the forms to let you sign," He paused as he hefted a two-foot
pile of documents onto Piccolo's desk, "these forms."
Piccolo face faulted. I'm going to need a new pen. "Where do they find you
people?"
"Well, I used to work for the IRS."
A scream of horror filled the licensing department.
End Part 8
Next Chapter: Ralph verses the Sailor Senshi!
