Part 12

The Tournament Begins

By Bobcat

Disclaimer: Since many of you are fellow fanfic writers, let me make this statement: I didn't see nothin' if you didn't see nothin.' You're in this as deep as I am; maybe deeper!

Location:
Universe FC-1
An island near Japan.

There were only ten precious hours until the tournament, and SU5 meant to make the most of them. Phil's hotel room served as a conference room. Usagi hadn't been drugged for a few hours. After a few poorly executed attempts at escape, she had given up (She had learned that dental floss did not make a good escape ladder). Warren had been called in because of his special talents; i.e., women found him attractive (God knows why.) After several days of planning, Phil was hammering out the final plan. There were two objectives: a) make sure that Videl had no contact with Gohan whatsoever, and b) to ensure that his first meeting with Usagi was a pleasant one.

"OK, according to file footage, Videl will enter here, at the north entrance. Warren, you will intercept her and attempt to seduce her. If she doesn't bite, then you may have to abduct her." Phil offered Warren a bottle of chloroform, but the pretty-boy refused.

"No zank you. I doubt I vill be needink zat."

Phil shrugged in a noncommittal manner. "As for the rest of us, there are two routes to take. First, there is the direct approach. Simply, GoChibi leads her mother up to Gohan and tells him that she is his daughter from the future. The only problem is that, based on his psychiatric profile, he is skittish and shy. So, the direct approach is out."

"It worked just fine with the Sailor Senshi."

"GoChibi, these were the same Senshi we fought on two different occasions because we were forced to abduct their leader. I don't really want a bunch of Super Saiyans breathing down my neck while I play cupid."

"Now, here's what we do. GoChibi, you keep your mother close, and whatever you do, don't let her go boy watching."

"Yes sir!"

"Ecks, you and Ralph will act as lookout. You keep an eye on the Z fighters at all times, and report if they do anything outside of the storyline."

"Check."

Ralph raised his hand. "What will you do?"

"I'm going to attempt to get Gohan on his own so I can have a little chat with him. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to manage that."

Ecks grinned. "I just may have a suggestion..."

**********

The Next Day

For Videl, it was the most exciting day of her life. Wow! After all these years in my father's shadow, I can finally make my own identity! I will be the world's greatest fighter! Suddenly, a tall Gaijin with blonde hair moved into her path.

"Ah, you must be Videl. I hafe heard zo much about you. My name is Warren."

His voice melted her. He's like Fabio, except less muscular and intimidating!

He continued talking. "I know a nice place vhere ve kan be alone. It's a German Restaurant in downtown Tokyo, and zey zerve ze besht schnitzel you ever ate. Zen, ve go from zhere." He took her by the arm, and led her away. She didn't care that she was missing the day that she had spent her entire life preparing for, nor did she care what he was implying was extremely illegal. And so what if she had never had had schnitzel before? He was simply gorgeous. His presence completely smothered her developing feelings for Gohan. Right about then, she would have said, "Go-who?"

On top of a nearby building sat Phil. He was carrying a pair of binoculars, and saw Warren and Videl walk away. "Lucky bastard."

Nearby, Ralph overheard his commander. "Sir, in this case, lucky isn't the operative word."

Phil paused to consider this statement, and then nodded in agreement. "Well, I'd better get going."

***********

"No, mom, I don't think he's cute." GoChibi was really getting sick of this. Every time anybody under thirty years with a Y chromosome walked past them, she would spend several minutes ogling them. GoChibi was spending most of her time forcibly hauling Usagi along, and was really looking forward to just meeting her dad.

Suddenly, she felt a number of powerful Chi signatures within three meters of her. GoChibi forcibly shoved her mother to the ground and put a hand over her mouth.

Usagi was indignant. "Ow! what'd you do that for? Waaaaah!" Of course, it sounded like, "Mmmmmph! Mmph mmm mph! Mmmmmmmmmmmmph!" Not that GoChibi noticed one way or the other. Between the legs of a nearby pedestrian, GoChibi saw the familiar and friendly face of her grandfather, Goku. It took all of her self-control not to run over and give him a hug.

It's been way too long! And there's Uncle Krillin, Uncle Vegeta, heck even Uncle Goten is there! I miss them all so much! Well, maybe not Vegeta. All of those familiar faces...

It was painful to be so close, and yet so far. Even if she were to greet them, she would be a complete stranger. It had been the same with the Sailor Senshi, but she hadn't been away from home as long. She had spent the past two years without any contact with her families and friends; well, Phil had been there, but still! She silently waved. "Hey, Grandpa!"

Piccolo's ears twitched. She covered her mouth. His Namek hearing was far superior to any human's. D'oh! He heard me! She attempted a mind trick.  It was just the wind. There was no voice.  It was just the wind. After a few moments, Piccolo rejoined the group. He brushed off the hushed voice.

Just the wind.

Then, GoChibi noticed her father. The father who she hardly ever saw. She sighed. I'll probably get to know him better in the past than I did in the future. He was always too busy ruling the world to play with me!

The group of Z fighters then encountered two people. One was a shorter man with purple skin and a white Mohawk, while the other was a tall red-faced man with long white hair.

GoChibi studied there faces intently.  Now where do I know those two from? The purple man shook Goku's hand, and GoChibi thought he identified himself as Shin.  Oh yeah, the Supreme Kai. 

After a few moments, the Z fighters left to watch the Junior Competition. I'd better get going! Phil had signed her up less for the mission's sake and more to see how she stacked up against the others. Dragging her future mother by the hand, GoChibi forded the crowd to sign up at the front desk.

***********

Once again, Ralph was stuck in a support role. Of course, this time he acknowledged that he was sorely outclassed in terms of raw power. He was well suited to his mission. Ecks had taken to the streets, posing as a hotdog vendor to keep an eye on things up close and personal. Ralph was long-range reconnaissance. I wonder how the boss is gonna pull this one off?

************

Phil had broken into the public address booth. Now dressed in the same orange robe as the monks, Phil spoke into the microphone. "Will the Great Saiya-Man please report to the main desk? I repeat, will the Great Saiya-Man please report to the front desk?"

***********

Gohan, clad in the ridiculous green costume of his superhero identity, cocked his head. "Hey, Dad, I'd better go deal with that. I'll see you later."

Piccolo recognized Phil's voice immediately, but remembered his previous warning. He wouldn't mention it unless asked.

Vegeta was cleaning out his ear with his finger. It couldn't be that annoying insect who beat me all those years ago! I'm hearing things! Focus! You must beat Kakorot this time!

Adopting his deeper heroic tone, Gohan went up to the counter. "Is there a problem, citizen?"

Phil snorted. "Drop the act, Gohan. This is a serious matter."

Gohan sweatdropped. "H-how do you know my name?"

"There's a lot I know, Gohan."

"Don't call me that! You'll blow my secret identity!"

"Whatever. It'll be revealed in a few minutes anyway. But, keep it if you like, Mr. Saiya-Man." Phil chuckled. "You'd think that after seeing the Ginyu force, you'd have learned just how stupid all that posing was."

"Hey, my poses are cool!"

"Didn't you see how embarrassed Piccolo was to even be associated with you?"

Realizing that this stranger might have a point, Gohan decided to change subject. "Uh, what do you want to talk to me about?"

Phil grabbed a small object from his belt. When he activated it, nothing happened. "What is it?" Gohan queried.

"This is known as an SEP generator. Within its influence, we are "Somebody Else's Problem," so everyone will ignore us. This will guarantee privacy."

"Neat!"

Phil gave a bemused smirk.  "Yes, neat. Now Gohan, listen very carefully. I have brought your daughter to see you."

Gohan started waving his arms in a surprised manner.  "Th-there must be some mistake! I've never..."

Phil chuckled. "Yes, I'm very aware of that. You see, she's from the future."

"But time travel is impossible!"

"Y'know, I keep hearing that from the most unusual people. I mean, you're powers are just as, if not more so, implausible as time travel. Besides, remember Trunks? He came from the future too, but I didn't hear you whining then."

Gohan blushed slightly.  "Oh, yeah."

"Don't think about it too hard, you'll strain your brain. Basically, my mission is to make sure that you and your future wife meet here without any complications."

"What's she like?"

"You want an honest assessment?" Gohan nodded. "She's a klutz. She can't cook, is failing all of her classes in school, and is incredibly whiny. She can eat her body's weight in food, and does so on a regular basis. However, these are her bad qualities. She cares about people, is a reincarnated Princess from a long dead kingdom, and is fairly effective in important battles. When you two wed, you'll create an orderly world in which fear, war and famine are all fading memories. Also, you're daughter will be one of the most interesting people I've ever met."

Gohan nodded his head, absorbing some of the information. "So, it's all predetermined?"

"Nope. Otherwise, why send your daughter back? You can meet them later. You've got to make a good first impression."

"Who are you?"

"My name is Phil, and all will be explained at the proper time."  Hopefully never. 

Gohan seemed to accept this. "What now?"

"Now, you go back before your family suspects anything. I'll keep an eye on the two of you. Now, good luck in the competition." Of course, you'll never actually compete, but oh well.  That's my little secret, for now.  As Gohan left, Phil shuddered. Having to be so complimentary to Usagi was a hideous experience. I feel so dirty! He brushed at his arms in a panicked manner. The dirt won't come off! When this is over, I'm going to take a three-hour bath!

Shrugging off the ugly orange robe in favor of a muscle shirt and black slacks, Phil went to watch the Junior Competition.  He took a moment to click on a utility belt filled with his various supplies.  As he cracked his knuckles, he chuckled.  "Heh heh.  Let the fun begin."

**********

Ten minutes later, GoChibi, Goten and Trunks had torn through their competition. Phil nodded. She would have beaten them just as easily a couple years ago, but she's more in control of her power now. Now it's just GoChibi verses Goten, then the winner against Trunks.

The two combatants were at opposite ends of the arena. The announcer, a blond man with a moustache, yelled excitedly into his microphone. "And in this corner, all the way from Hokkaido, Ms. Reni!" Phil had decided that identifying her as GoChibi might have made the Z fighters suspicious (or just gather some unwanted attention at her unusual name), so she borrowed her name from another timeline. She was dressed in a black training gi similar to the one she usually wore, although it lacked any school insignia.  Also, her tail was disguised as a belt that wrapped around her waist.

The crowd's response was silence.  The boredom in the air was almost tangible, as was the anticipation of the real event. Thus far, the Junior Division had proven a disappointment. Scenes from the fraudulent "battles" would likely appear on Sports Bloopers programs for weeks to come. "And in this corner, we have Goten! Both of these miniature fighters have easily dispatched their opponents! Let's see how they do!" Phil thought that the man had to be on some kind of illegal substance.  That's the only way he could still be even remotely interested in this thing. 

Meanwhile, GoChibi was sizing up her uncle. He doesn't have much control yet. I can use that. Heck, I'm stronger than he is in Super Saiyan form! Of course, he doesn't know that.

Goten snorted. This girl is strong, but she's still weaker than me. This'll be easy!   The other Z fighters had much the same opinion.

Up in the stands, Phil looked intently upon his pupil.  Just do your best, GoChibi.

OK, Phil.

Phil frowned. Didn't know I was broadcasting.

You weren't. 
There was a momentary pause.  So, I see you've talked to dad. He's taking it pretty well.

Get out of my head, you little eavesdropper!
Once her presence was gone, Phil went back to watching the match.

One of the orange clad monks struck a gong. The announcer was beaming. "Let the match begin!"

Goten leapt for his opponent. Letting go a battle cry, he attempted to punch her in the face. She cocked her head to the right, and the fist whizzed past her ear. He followed up his assault with a scissor kick, which passed through the afterimage she left. She appeared behind him and grabbed his ear. "Ow! That hurts! Unfair!" He was unable to struggle without causing himself further pain.

Using her greater height to her advantage, she hauled him over to the edge of the platform. Still holding him by the ear, she effortlessly tossed him over the edge. He fell face first into the grass that surrounded the arena.

"And the winner is Reni! Let's give her a round of applause!" After that short battle, there was another round of lackluster praise.

Vegeta smirked. "You're son is weaker than I thought, Kakorot."

Goku glared at Vegeta. "You know as well as I do that she shouldn't have been able to do that! She's obviously masking her true power."

Krillin nodded. "He's right."

Android 18 was focusing on the young girl. Using her bionic eyes to focus in on the girl, she noticed that something wasn't right about her. She inspected GoChibi's belt. It's too furry to be a real belt. That's a... tail?  "Hey, I think she might be a Saiyan."


Everybody except for Piccolo stared in open-mouthed amazement. "Y-you're kidding!"

Gohan suddenly realized something. That's my daughter down there!

Vegeta shook his head. "That's impossible! There aren't any other Saiyans! Kakorot, myself and our children are the last!"

"She has a tail. She did a pretty good job of disguising it as a belt."

Krillin was getting worried. "What do we do, Goku?"

"We wait and see. She may not be an enemy."

The short man nodded.  "Riiiiiiight."  Not with our luck.  Oh man, how many times do we have to save the world from random lunatics?

*********

A few moments later, Trunks and GoChibi were arrayed at opposite ends of the field. As per his father's instructions, Trunks had transformed to Super Saiyan. GoChibi smirked. Now I'll have an actual challenge.

"Let the battle begin!"

This time, GoChibi took the initiative. Rushing forward, she began to launch a series of punches and kicks. Trunks blocked or dodged all of them. After several moments, Trunks began to grin. "You're strong, but no match for a Super Saiyan." Suddenly, a vague yellow aura began to surround her. The roots of her hair turned blonde, and a few strands began to stick straight up.

She looked at him with pure contempt in her eyes. "Who said I wasn't one to?"

Trunks was worried. She had been able to keep him on the run before transforming; now, she would be unstoppable. "Here's something Dad taught me! Galick Gun!" A purple beam of light flew towards GoChibi. It struck her head on and exploded. "Alright! Direct hit!"

From the stands, Usagi cheered for her abductor. "Go GoChibi! Yeah!" She wasn't quite sure why she was applauding; it just seemed the thing to do. Maybe it was the initial stirrings of maternal pride. Probably it was because she was a hyperactive ditz. The world would never know.

As the smoke cleared, it was obvious that the Chi attack had had no effect upon the female Saiyan. She raised her hand. "Here's something Phil-san taught me. Force Shove!" Trunks felt as if a gigantic, invisible hand had grabbed him. He was suddenly bouncing off the walls of the arena, leaving jagged holes in the side of each. After several moments of this, the glow surrounding his body faded. As his hair went from blonde to lavender, GoChibi let him drop onto the grass. He would be OK, but he'd have a headache for a few minutes.

The overexcited announcer ran over and raised GoChibi's arm. "We have our champion!" The crowd, having become more excited during the fast paced battle, exploded in a massive round of applause. GoChibi was grinning and performing a victory dance akin to those done by football players after a touchdown. She was also singing.

"I am the Champion, I am the Champion, no time for losers, `cause I am the Champion... of the world!"

In the background, Hercule was extremely nervous. The terms of the Junior Competition had been as follows: winner gets a large cash reward, a champion's belt similar to that worn by Hercule, and the right to fight the current champion. However, Hercule had a very well kept secret: he wasn't really the strongest man on earth. Compared to most people, he was as strong as his namesake. However, he was nothing compared to the weakest of the Z fighters. He claimed to have single-handedly beaten Cell, despite the fact it was really Gohan who had killed the monster. Heck, he lived in constant fear of being exposed as the phony he was.

Now, here was this little girl who looked to be as strong as that kid who had beaten Cell. It would be really embarrassing if he lost before the Adult Competition began. He saw no way out. Sighing in resignation, Hercule dejectedly left the safety of his dressing room.

The hyperactive announcer had released GoChibi's hand. "Lets give our current Champion, Hercule, a round of applause!" The crowd consented, cheering for their hero.

Adopting his public persona, he began laughing in a conceited manner. "Haha! Yeah! It's me! Let's give it up!"

GoChibi glared angrily at the man. It should be Daddy out there with his loving fans. Time to expose that fraud!

Up in the stands, Phil's eyes went wide as GoChibi flew towards Hercule. She's going to destroy this timeline! After a few moments of thought, Phil sat back down. Oh, well. That guy deserves it.

Having changed back to her normal form, GoChibi pointed to her cheek. "Punch me."

"Huh?"

"Now, Mr. `Oh, I'm the greatest, I defeated Cell!' Show the people your true strength."

"Now, now. I don't punch little girls!" That should get her off me.

"OK, would you fight a friend of mine?"

"Yeah! Bring him on!"  He can't be as strong as this little kid…can he?

GoChibi gestured, and the microphone flew from the announcer's hand to hers. "Phil, would you come here please?"

"I was born ready! I've always wanted to do something like this!" There had been the time that he'd dyed Superman's costume orange, or the time that Ash Ketchum's hat had mysteriously been replaced by a baby bonnet, but this was different! Today, I bring down a multimedia empire!

Hercule was becoming ever more nervous. This guy was flying as well as the girl, and looked significantly stronger. He'd been expecting a little brother or something.

"OK, Hercule, punch me!"

Egotistical to the last, Hercule lashed out with his right fist. "You're mine! Ultra Super Megaton Punch!" The completely normal blow smashed into Phil's face. With the proximity of the various microphones, everybody heard the noise of bone crunching. All winced, expecting Hercule's blow to knock out the man. Then, Hercule collapsed to his feet, clutching his broken hand and crying. Grabbing him by the scruff of his robe, Phil casually threw the Champion from the ring, as one would toss away a bag of garbage.

"I win. Know this Hercule: you're reign ends today. Let's go, G--- Reni." The two flew back to keep an eye on Usagi.

Vegeta was staring straight down. "Phil… it is him! At last, after all of these years, vengeance shall be mine!"

End Part 12

Suddenly, there was an overly excited and deep voice.

"Next time, on The Ballad of the Physics Police: Well, it looks like GoChibi's training has paid off! Will Phil prove equally strong?"

The man was interrupted as Ralph came bursting in. "What do you think that you're doing?"

"Why, as the announcer for Dragon Ball Z, I'm the best choice to narrate the story."

"I think not." Ralph waved his hand. "You will return to whatever psychiatric institute you escaped from."

"Yes, Master." His arms held out in a zombie-like fashion, the announcer left the room.

"Thank you, and now for the author's notes."

Author's Notes:

With this new technique, Phil and GoChibi have about the same effective strength as a standard Z-Warrior of the Buu Saga. Thus far, all of their opponents have been either a) incredibly sleepy (Piccolo), or b) too young to effectively use their powers. With Trunks, GoChibi transformed more for psychological effect than for an actual power boost. Against a more mature and rested enemy, they will require a Chi boosting technique. `Nuff said!