Part 15

Majin Phil?

By Bobcat

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, Tenchi Muyo or Ranma 1/2.  However, the Physics Police are mine, ya hear?  Mine mine mine mine mine! 

            Phil, Goku, Gohan, Vegeta and Kaio-shin had all arrived at the next level.  Waiting for them was a large green alien. It was over ten feet tall, and was rather hideous. It had scaly skin, back canted legs, long blades extending from each arm and shorter blades on his feet.  He resembled a cross between a human, a frog and a Velociraptor.

            Phil grinned.  "Oh, hello Yakon.  I would like to play, but it's Goku's turn." 

            The gigantic creature ignored the fact that this complete stranger knew his name.  "Is that so?  Hmmpph.  I'll be fighting the rest of you soon enough, once I deal with this weakling."

            Kaio-shin looked pleadingly at Goku.  "Goku, you won't win if you fight him alone!  We have to attack as one!"

            Phil snorted disdainfully.  "Ignore that little idiot.  You can probably beat him without transforming, but we're running short on time."

            The blissfully ignorant fighter looked sadly at Kaio-shin.  "Sorry, Supreme Kai, but Phil's been right so far." 

            With a flash and a loud bang, Goku flew at the reptilian warrior.  Goku's punch went through the afterimage of the gigantic beast.  Goku then had to move quickly to avoid being sliced in half by the thing's arm mounted blades.  It sliced through his orange shirt.  "Woah!  That was close!"

            "I'll be getting a lot closer!"  The thing began to attack again.  Goku used his instant transmission to teleport next to Phil.  He then teleported behind the creature, bashing it in the back of the head.  The thing flew several feet, smashing head first into the wall.  Goku was rubbing his hand.

            "Ouch!  His skin is tougher than it looks!"  The familiar yellow aura of the Super Saiyan surrounded Goku.  "Now to turn up the heat!"

            In the lower levels of the ship, Babadi was holding a device similar to that used by Yamu.  "Poor Yakon doesn't stand a chance!  This being has nearly 3,000 energy units, and Yakon only has 800!  They're much stronger than they look!"

            Dabura looked with disdain at the crystal ball.  "Still far weaker than I, master.  Don't worry; they will not pass."

            Babadi breathed a sigh of relief.  The King of the Dark World had a point; he was much stronger than Goku.  What worried the wizard was the sound of Phil's maniacal laughter in the back of his mind.

            Back on level two, Phil was chuckling.  Gohan looked at the strange man.  Just an hour ago, he had been all business.  Now, he seemed to be treating this battle as a game.  The young Saiyan queried, "What's so funny?"

            "Oh, I was just using the Force to read Babadi's thoughts, and Dabura thinks he's stronger than Goku."

            "But he is!"

            "Supreme Kai, there is something about these Saiyans you haven't grasped: they don't wear their power levels on their sleeves.  Unlike you, they only use their maximum potential when absolutely necessary."

            "I demand to know who you are, and how you know so much!"

            "Fine, I'll tell you already.  My name is Phil, and I am an agent of an organization known as the Physics Police.  Our mission is to keep the universe from plunging into Chaos.  Recently, your dimension merged with several of its neighbors, so my team was sent here to stabilize the timeline.  I did that, by introducing Gohan to his future wife."

            "So, why are you still here?"

            "Basically, when a mission is complete, I have the equivalent of "shore leave."  I'm just having a little fun."

            "W-What?   YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU THINK FIGHTING THE MOST POWERFUL MONSTER EVER IS FUN???!!!"

            "Well, all of the casinos on the island were full.  Besides, I have a feeling that you'll need me."  He casually hid the comic book he'd been reading behind his back.

            Meanwhile, Yakon was having a can of whoop-ass opened up on him.  Goku kicked him in the gut, sending the alien flying.  He spat up some blue blood.  "That light makes you powerful.  Where I come from light is a delicacy.  Koshoku!"  Using his technique, Yakon began to inhale deeply.  The lights in the room began to flicker, and Goku's yellow aura was sucked away.  "Yum!  That was the best light I've ever eaten.

            Goku stood there, a look of surprise plastered on his face.  Kaio-shin cupped his hands and yelled at the Saiyan.  "Goku!  Don't transform again!  He'll only eat your light!"  Goku thought about it.  The yellow aura surrounded him again.

            "Oh boy!  Even more light!"  He began to eat, and Goku added more energy to his aura.  For a few moments, Yakon began to expand.  Finally, the energies put out by Goku proved too much for the gluttonous monster to withstand, and he exploded.  Goku's aura faded away.

            Phil walked up to Goku and slapped him on the shoulder.  "Thanks, Goku.  You saved me some paperwork."

            "Huh?"

            "You see, your aura was semi-solid, so he technically could absorb that.  However, he couldn't inhale the ambient light in the room.  A clear violation of the laws of physics.  Speaking of which, I'm going to make sure that you all get your licenses after this."  Vegeta quickly took his out of his pocket.

            "See?  I have mine!  You can't do anything!"  It was indeed a super hero license.

            Phil's eyebrow rose.  "Uh, Vegeta, where did you get that?"

            "After our little… disagreement, I encountered another of your officers.  He was kind enough to tell me how I could procure one of these."

            "Rats!  Always spoiling my fun!  Thanks a lot, Vegeta!"  With this, the warriors went into the next hatch.

************

            The departure of over half of the competitors was still causing difficulties.  For one, there were an odd number of fighters remaining.  For another, Ralph and Ecks had occupied the arena.  After a few moments of chaos, Ralph had gotten bored, so he had gone to the center of the field.  Then, he had dropped a metal cylinder roughly the size of a Pepsi Can onto the ground.  The item had sprouted a tripod to stabilize itself, and then had projected a gigantic hologram.  What looked to be a chess set now occupied most of the arena.  Oddly enough, the people enjoyed it more than they had the martial arts tournament.

            Ecks had chosen to have her pieces represented as mystical creatures, while Ralph had selected Gundams.  "Heavy-Arms to A-5."  The humanoid war machine flew forward, and landed on a Minotaur, splattering holographic gore. 

            The Sailor Senshi wannabe considered for a moment.  "Hydra to A-5."  The multi-headed beast ran ahead and began to bite away large sections of armor plate from the Gundam.  The robot disappeared an instant later.  "A pawn for a pawn.  Not a bad trade."

            "It left you wide open.  Wing Zero to B-8."  The winged machine shifted to fighter mode, and then flew over next to a Cyclops.  Pulling out its beam sword, the Gundam sliced the one eyed monster in half.  "Check, and mate."  The crowd went wild.

            Ecks scratched her forehead in confusion.  "I had no idea chess was this popular!"

            Ralph was writing in a tally book.  "So, now you've agreed to buy me all of my meals for a week, owe me three thousand yen, and wash my robes for a month.  Care to play again?"

            "Double or nothing?"

            "I wouldn't have it any other way."  The pieces reformed themselves.  "Heavy Arms to B-4."

            The announcer for the World Martial Arts Tournament was considering his options.  He could a) attempt to get the players to stop in favor of the scheduled event.  However, the most powerful warriors had left, so it wouldn't be as interesting.  Also, he could b) begin to announce the game.  The audience was responding more positively to this chess match then they had the Martial Arts Tournament.  After all, the violence brought about by Cell, Lex Luthor and other super villains made the Tournament almost sickening, a reminder of the daily horrors of megolomaniacal scientists and demonic creatures that killed thousands.  The fact that ticket sales had gone down over the past few years reflected this. 

            Being a smart man, the announcer went with option B.  "And the contestant in the robe moves his pawn forward!  The contestant in the school uniform considers, then moves her pawn to C-3!  Isn't this exiting, folks?"  The crowd cheared in a agreement. 

            In the waiting room, the remaining fighters sat.  Ranma, Ryoko, Android 18 and "Mighty Mask" were glued to a television.  Hercule looked with disgust. 

            "They can't do this to me!"

            Android 18 told him to shush.  "This is interesting!  Go away, loser."  There was a chorus of agreement from the other fighters. 

            Hercule ran onto the field.  "Stop this!  I'm your champion, and we have a Martial Arts tournament to fight!"

            "Griffin to G-4."

            "Huh?  Ahhh!"  He ducked as a digital monster flew over his head.  "What's going on?"

            The announcer shrugged.  "I'm sorry Hercule, but the people have spoken."

            "Ingrates!  I saved you from Cell!  Don't you get it?  I'm the hero!  Me!"

            Ralph gestured.  "You will donate all of your worldly possessions to charity and leave us alone."

            The weak-minded martial arts champion complied.  "Yes!  Goodbye!"  He ran off to pawn away everything he owned.

            Ecks furrowed her brows.  "Chimera to G-6.  That wasn't very nice, Ralph."

            "Sand Rock to H-2.  He deserved it.  Think about it; everything he owns was made with based on the work of others."

            "Griffin to H-3.  I guess you have a point."

            "Ares Mobile Suit to C-6.  Check, and mate."

            "Damn it!"

***********

            Phil and the Z fighters had been waiting for nearly half an hour.  Phil was reading his comic book, and it looked like everything was on course. 

            Vegeta was becoming annoyed.  "What's taking them so long?"

            "Well, Dabura's meditating to heighten his "Dark Energies."  Gohan, I'd watch it if I were you.  He's about as strong as Perfect Cell."

            "And I beat Perfect Cell!"

            "With a bit of help.  You're just a little out of practice, so don't expect an easy victory."

            It was at this point that the door opened.  Dabura stepped out, a grin of pure contempt etched on his features.  "You shall come no further."

            Kaio-shin adopted a fighting stance.  "We're ready."

            Gohan glared at the short man.  "Hey!  It's my turn to fight!"

            Dabura was surprised.  "You wish to fight me alone?  Foolish boy."

            Phil drew his lightsaber.  After igniting it, he flew directly at the demon, who ducked under what he saw as an attack.  Gohan protested.  "Hey!  He's mine!"

            Phil didn't actually strike Dabura.  He simply put himself between Dabura and the exit.  "Just think of me as a goalie, with a stick that can cut through anything. I'm just here to make sure that he doesn't make a run for it. Go on, kid.  Show us what you got."

            Gohan and Dabura began to exchange blows.  They were evenly matched for a few moments, with neither combatant landing a punch.  The Dabura floated back.  "Hoono!"  A burst of flame escaped his lips, shrouding the young Saiyan in fire.  When it cleared, Gohan was covering his face.  He appeared to be unhurt, but the ridiculous Saiya-Man costume had been burned away, revealing the flame resistant black leotard beneath. 

Gohan raised his hands over his head.  "Masenko!"  He sent the yellow beam of energy at the dark King.  It threw him back into through the wall.  For a few moments, he didn't emerge.  "That was too easy."

In an explosion of metal, Dabura flew from beneath Gohan and caught him in the cheek with a right hook.  This sent the Saiyan through the ceiling, into level two.

Kaio-shin looked pleadingly at the Z fighters.  "We have to help him!  He doesn't stand a chance alone!"  A yellow glow escaped from the hole, and Dabura crashed down through the ceiling. 

"Ka…me…ham…e…HA!"  The blast of blue energy flew down after Dabura, incinerating more of the floor.  It passed through the ship, burrowing hundreds of feet into the earth.

Phil grinned.  "It looks like Gohan just made us a route to Babadi.  Let's go."  He jumped down, closely followed by Goku and Vegeta. 

Once again, Kaio-shin felt helpless.  "Every step of the way, this Phil has gone against my wishes.  Yet, every time, he has been right."  He looked over at the two warriors.  Gohan's aura was a bright yellow, with electric blue flashes occasionally running through it.  The level Two Super Saiyan was fighting hand to hand with Dabura, with neither gaining any ground.  "But, Gohan will need my help.  How could they leave their own ally to perish?"

Phil was running through the lower levels of Babadi's ship, randomly slicing control panels with his lightsaber.  As he ran the yellow blade through the gravity control, Phil slowed slightly as the gravity on the ship was multiplied by ten.  The yellow minion who had been moving to intercept the Physics Policeman fell to the ground as he was crushed by his own weight.

"Phil, do you have any idea where we're going?"

"Why, yes I do, Vegeta.  I can feel Babadi.  He's straight thataway."  He pointed to a wall.  "Improved Kamehameha!"  His hand glowed blue as the laser bolt blasted away the wall, revealing the wizard on the other end.  Babadi lay there, struggling to breathe. 

"This…can't be happening!"

"Why, yes it can.  And it is."

"I can…(Pant) feel the evil…(Gasp) in your hearts, Phil and Vegeta!  Papparapar!"  The two warriors collapsed as the spell went to work, chipping away the mental barriers that held back their darker emotions.  Vegeta transformed to Super Saiyan, clutching his head.  Phil knew that he was letting Babadi gain control, but didn't say anything.

Phil could hear Babadi's voice in his mind.  "Give in, human!  Think of the power I can give you!"

"And let myself be ruled by you?"  Phil thought about it for a fraction of a second.  "OK, sure!"  Phil straightened up, and there was a dark black M etched in the center of his forehead.  Goku could sense that his power had risen considerably. 

Vegeta had also given in, with similar results. 

I don't stand a chance against both of them at once.  With a look of concern on his face, Goku readied himself for the battle to come.  But I have to try!

End Part 15