Part 17

To Buu, or not to Buu

By Bobcat

Disclaimer: Fine, I don't own DBZ or Sailor Moon, but Star Wars was my idea!

This is my first chapter as a DBZ fic! Hopefully this will result in more reviews.

Author's note: some of you may be wondering what's going on with Videl and Warren. Well, here's the answer:

In a motel somewhere in downtown Tokyo...

Surgeon General's Warning: Because the next scene has been shown to cause madness and suicidal tendencies in clinical studies, it has been cut from the Fanfic. Sorry for the inconvenience.

As Dabura was vaporized by the combined attack by Gohan and GoChibi, Krillin and Piccolo were released from their rocky prison. Krillin shuddered. It had been the most horrible experience of his entire life. He'd been dead before; heck, he'd been wished back twice. Death wasn't as bad as this. When Dabura's saliva had transformed into stone, he had simply ceased being. It was like a horrible, dreamless sleep. He couldn't recall anything that had happened in the hour following his encounter with Dabura.

"Piccolo, where is everybody?"

"I think I sense them over there. Vegeta and Goku are at maximum power about fifteen kilometers that way, and I think that Phil's with them. Wait a sec... Vegeta just vanished!"

"How?"

"How should I know? The others are in that ship." Piccolo flew towards the structure.

"Wait! We aren't strong enough to handle that Dabura character! We'll get turned into stone again!"

"I can't sense him. Besides, this kind of spell only ends when the caster dies."

"Oh." Piccolo once again flew towards the massive crater. I don't remember that. There must've been some battle! "Hey! Wait for me!" The half-sized fighter blasted off in pursuit of the Namek.

Meanwhile, in the depths of the shattered spacecraft, Gohan, GoChibi and Kaio-shin were racing towards Babadi. Shin was berating himself. Every step of the way, I've miscalculated! I can only pray that we're not too late. An insane laughter filled the air. That's Babadi!

The destruction of most of the ship's structure had shut off the artificial gravity systems. When the trio of warriors burst in, Babadi was giggling and pointing at the massive pod that held Majin Buu. "You're too late! Buu has more than enough energy! That traitorous Phil gathered more power than I could have ever asked for! When Buu is released, you'll all die!"

Kaio-shin glared at Babadi. The venom in his eyes gave even the triumphant wizard pause. "That may be, but you won't live to see it!" As Kaio-shin summoned a Chi bolt, Babadi realized his error; he'd run out of minions, and it would require several minutes for Buu to be reborn. As the Supreme Kai let fly with his attack, Babadi cast a desperate spell.

"Papparapar!" The Chi blast was lost amidst the swirling energy and dust. They found themselves about a kilometer from where they had started. The tiny wizard then had an idea. "GoChibi, I can feel the hate in your heart! Resentment towards your father for never being there. Release your anger! Papparapar!"

The spell had no effect. She coldly responded, "There is no emotion, there is peace."

"Stupid child!"

"There is no ignorance; there is knowledge."

"You cannot deny your anger! I can feel it! It is incredibly powerful!"

"There is no passion; there is serenity."

"If you don't join me; you will die with the others!"
"There is no death; there is the Force*." She ignited her blue bladed lightsaber and leveled it at Babadi.

This child is incredible; nobody has ever been able to completely ignore my spell

like that! Well, besides Phil. The other one mentioned this "Force" as well. I'll have to look into it.

Shin snapped at GoChibi. "We don't have time for this! Our only hope is to destroy Majin Buu before he wakes up! Together!" A trio of powerful beams flew out towards the pod. A bright flash filled the air, and everybody was flung away by the blast.

Miles away at the World Chess tournament:

Ralph paused his game. Once again, he had Ecks on the run. He concentrated on the odd sensation he was getting. "Ecks, we have to go."

"Why?"

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force; as if several morons cried out at once, and were silenced."

"But you have to finish the game!"

"Oh, alright. Death Scythe to G-7. Checkmate." The Gundam moved into position, and Ecks found herself trapped again.

"Damn! How do you always win?"

"The Force can be a powerful ally. It was child's play to read your mind."

"Wait! That's cheating!"

"Where in the chess rulebook say that it's against the rules to read minds?"

"Uh, nowhere, I guess..."

"I rest my case. Now c'mon, Phil needs us." Manipulating a bit of manna, Ralph and Ecks flew off towards the ensuing battle.

A few minutes later, back at the Battle:

Somehow, the massive pod was still intact. However, the quartet of combatants was still stunned by the blast. Gohan and GoChibi had reverted to their normal states. The future Moon Princess rubbed her aching head. "Ow."

Gohan, Kaio-shin and Babadi agreed. The tiny wizard noticed that Buu had lost some energy to the strike, and he would have to be replenished. Blast it! Another delay! He summoned a small collection device and ran towards Gohan. Those idiots Spopovich and Yamu were able to gather his energy; how hard could it be? He received his answer when Gohan booted him into the capsule. He hit his head, and lay there for a few moments. It's harder than it looks!

GoChibi leapt to her feet. "Evil wizard! You shall not be allowed to continue your senseless acts of violence! I am GoChibi, Princess of the Moon, and in the name of the Future Moon, I shall punish you!" She winced. "Did I just say what I thought I said?" D'oh! I'm becoming like Mom! She shuddered violently at the thought.

Babadi had recovered, and had decided to take an alternate route. Taking an extension cord, he summoned a car battery and plugged it into a port in the back of the pod. Energy is energy, even if it isn't pure. "Buu shall destroy you... yipe!" He narrowly avoided a red lightsaber blade that sliced through the power cord. "What the..."

"I am Ralph. I'm with the Physics Police. May I see your Wizardry license?"

"My what?"

"I love it when they say that."

It was at this moment that Phil and Goku arrived. Phil noticed that Ralph was present. "Did I miss anything?"

"Nope. I just cut through Majin Buu's power cord, and I was planning to play some Monkey in the Middle. Interested?"

"Sure!" The two began to through the cord back and forth while Babadi leapt as high as his tiny legs would allow.

"Hey! Not fair!"

Struck by inspiration, Ralph pulled a black rag from his pocket, used his lightsaber to cut two holes in it, and then put it on his face. He then took the cord and ran about ten feet. He threw it into the ground and yelled, "Touchdown!"

Phil caught on and put on his own mask.

Babadi looked up at the Physics Policemen with a look of utter confusion on his face. "What?"

Ralph picked up the cord and tossed it to Phil. Phil flew in a corkscrew pattern up to the top of a mesa and gently laid it on the ground. "Touchdown!"

"What the hell are you doing?"

Ralph grinned. "Well, Babadi, it's obvious that you've never played "Calvinball" before."

"What?"

"It's a funny little game with only one rule: it can never be played the same way twice." Ralph grabbed a pogo stick from his infinitely large pockets. "New rule! The last person to make a touchdown has to yell a silly phrase!"

Phil proceeded to say, "Alowally! Rim pham!"

Babadi protested. "You said there was only one rule!"

"New rule: people named Ralph always win!"

Babadi caught on. "New rule: people named Babadi are exempt from that rule!"

"Sorry, rule number five: villains aren't allowed to make rules."

"Drat!"

Of course, Ecks, Gohan, Goku and Kaio-shin couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. GoChibi donned her own mask and proceeded to tackle Babadi.

"Tag! You have to speak backwards until you touch the invisible pole!"

"What invisible pole?"

"You have to say it backwards!"

"Elop elbisivni tahw? (What invisible pole?)"

"There is no invisible pole! You'll have to talk backwards forever!" In the style of Nelson Mutz, she said, "Ha ha!"

"Ti nmad! (Damn it!)" The tiny sorcerer took off in pursuit of the pogo sticking Jedi. "EREH CKAB EMOC!"

By this time, Krillin and Piccolo had returned. Kaio-shin was shocked. "They treat this like a game... and not even a game with any rules!" Gohan was ripping off part of his black sleeve. "And just what do you think you're doing?"

"I'm making myself a mask! It looks like fun!" He flew off. "Hey guys, wait for me!"

"Oh boy! A new game!" Goku flew off after his son. There are three rules that remain constant in all DBZ realities: Saiyans can eat twice their bodyweight in food, Vegeta is the most arrogant SOB in the known universe, and Goku loves to play games.

"Unbelievable!"

Ecks snorted. "You should see them when they're drunk. Why'd I have to get paired up with those two?"

After ten minutes of this, the good guys were getting bored. "Hey Babadi, come on! Hurry up."

The tiny wizard collapsed. "I... I can't go any further!"

"Backwards!"

"Rehtruf yna og t'nac I... I! (I...I can't go any further.)"

Ralph sighed. He dangled the power cord within Babadi's reach. "Want this?" He quickly pulled it up when Babadi grabbed for it. "Ha! Too slow!"

Gohan interjected. "You lose!"

"Tahw? (What?)"

"New rule: loser buys the winners lunch!"

Goku was confused. "How do you know that we've won?"

Ralph said, "Rule number three: Ralph always wins!"

Babadi cursed (albeit mildly). "Darn!"

GoChibi protested. "Backwards! You haven't touched the invisible pole yet!"

"If you've won, then the game is over!"

"He has a point there, GoChibi."

"Shut up Phil!"

"Now it's my turn! Papparapar!" There was a swirl of dust, and they found themselves in front of a Radio Shack.

"What are we doing here?" GoChibi inquired.

"I'm doing what I should have done in the first place; getting myself a new power cord!"

As the wizard stomped into the store, Ralph whispered to Gohan, "I just don't have the heart to tell him that I was about to let him have it."

A few moments later, Babadi exited the Radio Shack, carrying a bag with an item identical to the one in Ralph's hand. "Hah! Papparapar!" A few moments later, they found themselves back in the mesa. Babadi plugged the cord into the battery and laughed maniacally. "Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Now there's nothing you can do to stop..." Ralph sliced through the new cord. "Me." The wizard began to cry. "Why? All I ever wanted to do was inflict death and chaos upon an unsuspecting world! Is that so wrong?"

Everybody simultaneously replied, "Yes!"

Ralph walked over and patted Babadi on the shoulder. "There, there. Don't cry. Tell you what; I'll make it up to you. Here you go; a shiny new cord!"

"Do you promise not to cut through this one?

"Yes."

He plugged Buu back in. After a few moments, the energy indicator read full again. "Fools! Now you are all doomed!" Gohan fired an energy ball at the pod. "No! Not agaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn!" There was another bright flash, and when the dust cleared, the capsule was gone. "No! You killed Buu!"

Kaio-shin shook Gohan's hand energetically. "Good job! Now we can deal with this monster!"

Gohan was confused. "Wait a sec. My attack wasn't strong enough to kill Majin Buu!"

Goku was shocked. "What? Then where is he?"

Kaio-shin shook his head. "No, he is dead! I can't feel him anymore." He didn't notice the pink cloud forming over his head. Moving under its own power, it floated down to earth. After a few moments, it began to collect into a physical form. The creature had bright pink skin, and bore a striking resemblance to the Marshmallow monster from Ghost Busters. It wore an odd costume; a simple vest that displayed its ample belly, and white pants that could only be described as "poofy."

Phil turned to him. "Shin, do you ever get tired of being wrong all the time?"

The warriors not associated with the Physics Police were afraid. "Such horrible power." Kaio-shin glared at Ralph. "You fool! Do you know what you've done!?"

"Yup. I just made things a lot more interesting."

The pink creature began to fly in a loop de loop. "Weeeeeee!"

The Saiyans present transformed. Phil assumed a fighting stance, as did Piccolo and Kaio-shin. Phil's expression was completely serious. Gone was the happy-go-lucky man who had been playing Calvinball a moment before. "Krillin, Ralph, Ecks. Leave now; if you stay, you'll die."

"Aye, sir." Ralph and Ecks flew away.

Krillin agreed. "He-he's too powerful! I'm sorry, Goku." With a dejected look on his face, the tiny warrior flew after the Physics Police officers.

GoChibi looked at Phil. "Why aren't you using the Kaio-ken?"

"I've been using that attack too hard for too long. I got off lucky with a heart attack last time; it could kill me if I use it again. But, you need my help, so here I am." Phil addressed the remaining fighters. "We need to attack together. He's at least twice as powerful as any one of us, but we might stand a chance if we move as a unit. On my mark..." Kaio-shin decided to defer to his wisdom again. He waited for Majin Buu to reach the top of his circle. "Mark." At breathtaking speeds, the Z fighters flew towards Majin Buu.

End Part 17

Bill Watterson, the creator of Calvin and Hobbes, also created Calvinball.

* For those who don't realize it, she's quoting the Jedi Code.