Alright folks, here's chapter eight! One more chap left after this so I hope y'all like it. Sorry again for the delay in posting, but I hope to have the last chap up by either this weekend or else I don't know when since I'm going out of town next weekend. Thanks again for reading, feel free to drop a note (I love reviews!) And thanks so much to AnnaSun, Spana, jennycraig10, WithAPenInHerHand, and aliasscape for reviewing-you made my day!
Just a warning that there is a tad bit of language in this chapter, but it fits with the events.
The song is Going Under, by Evanescence, I do not own it.
Sydney's eyes fluttered open, she strained through the darkness that enveloped the room. A glance over to her clock told her it was 3:39 AM. She groaned slightly as she shifted in her bed, her mouth was dry, and her lips were cracked. She needed a glass of water. She struggled to sit up on her bed, her eyes catching on the form of a man. A thrill of terror shot though her entire body, reaching from her fingertips to the ends of her toes. She scrambled off the bed, standing frigid in the darkness just staring at his sleeping form through the darkness of the night. The sound of her own breathing echoed in her ears as she tried to slow her rapid heartbeat, fearing the deafening pounding of it would wake him from his sleep.
She tiptoed hurriedly across the creaky floorboards, for once glad that'd she had been a spy and she made it to her bathroom undetected. Immediately she started heaving over the toilet, she wasn't sure if it was from seeing him or from the drugs that still plagued her system. Her hands shook as she lifted herself into a standing position. Suddenly her memory filled with remnants of the day before, she shut her eyes tightly, wishing it all away. She reached for a bottle of aspirin, popping some pills to dull the pain. The bitter taste of acid lingered in her mouth as she sensed a movement behind her. She spun quickly, immediately regretting it as her head swam in dizziness.
She said nothing as she stared at him, darkness hiding their faces as he stood stoic, wearing his usual suit and tie, though slightly wrinkled from sleeping hunched over in a hard chair. An unbearable silence permeated the room, as both felt each other's intense gaze, as if they were peering into each other's souls. She finally spoke.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Her voice was even, a strong cadence flowed from her as she hid beneath the guise of her past. He didn't answer her. She moved closer to him. "What are you doing here?" She repeated.
"Syd…" He began softly. Her head jerked at the sound of her name.
"Don't call me that." She ordered, her voice harsh, breaking off his words. Her eyes darted about nervously as her palms started to sweat. Vaughn stepped back, frustrated. This was not how it was supposed to happen. He looked at her with a hard face; if she was going to play this game so could he.
"Alright Agent Bristow," He paused, the words feeling funny in his mouth, as they were seldom spoken. "As your handler and CIA contact, I felt I was obligated to come check up on my agent, seeing as how your control of emotion responses to situations or should I say lack there of, are very far from the standard protocol of the company."
"F*ck off." Her cheeks ablaze with anger, flushed with color in stark contrast to the world around her.
Now I will tell you what I've
done for you
50 thousand tears I've cried
Screaming deceiving and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
This wasn't going anywhere. He dropped the act. "Sydney I need to talk to you."
"Oh that's great," she paused, "You, need to talk to me!" She spat sarcastically. "Here, why don't you lie down on the couch while I grab my notebook"
"Sydney, listen to me." He spoke quietly.
"Why should I?" She asked incredulously. Stumbling in the darkness, she made her way over to the window.
Because I love you. The words circulated in his head, but somehow couldn't bring himself to say it. She waited for him, she waited for him to say it. Another long silence overtook the dark room.
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
She shook her head slightly, and closed her eyes tightly, as if giving in.
"What did you come here for?" She questioned, the harshness of her voice vacant, but replaced by pain and anguish.
"Syd." He breathed. It was the only word he could think to say.
"Look, If you came here for closure, or whatever the hell you want, to look like you're a martyr," She accused, "or just so you can make yourself feel okay so that when you go back to your wife you wont have the guilt of my existence plaguing you every day." The spark of the woman who she used to be shown through the ragged exterior as her voiced laced itself with anger.
"That's not why I'm here and you know it." He spoke insistently.
"Do I?" She questioned, her eyes open wide.
Blurring and stirring the
truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
He stood in a stunned silence, her words biting at his heart. He swallowed and pushed past it. He wasn't going to let her off that easy.
"Look at me." He demanded, moving towards her.
So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
"No." She refused hiding in the shadows cast by the pale moonlight through the large window. He sighed and she heard his footsteps cross the room. Her voice sounded so strong, and it wasn't until he turned on that light he was able to see just how weak she was. Light flooded the room as he approached her. "Look at me." He commanded again, this time taking her face in his strong hands, forcing her eyes to meet his. She meagerly struggled against him, fighting to stay far from his eyes. "Sydney!"
She looked up at him, into his deep green eyes, only for a split moment before she slipped away. Tears formed in her eyes as she backed away from him. She drew in a ragged breath, as she tried to stable herself.
"Please, just go away." She pleaded, wringing her hands as she shrank back, her thin form seeming to disappear in the wall behind her.
"Sydney I'm not leaving you." He stated strongly. She perked up at his words, a confused look etched in her face as she pursed her lips. Her tearful eyes finally locked with his as she spoke with sadness in her voice.
"You already did."
He was still. A long moment passed.
"Just because you're too frightened to face up to the reality that…" He began as he watched her cross the room.
"I'm not." She said, her voice wavering as she cut him off.
He walked to her quickly, grabbing her gently. "Syd, don't leave. You have to stop doing this, you have to stop doing this to yourself. Please. Come back…" He began to ramble on, his voice thick with emotion. By now tears streamed down her face, dropping soundlessly to the floor beneath them. Her body started to shake, a combination of his presence and the drugs that still lingered in her system.
"I can't." She broke away from his grip, years of suffering finally coming to the surface as she suddenly couldn't stand to see him anymore. She couldn't bear to watch him plead, his green eyes probing hers. "Please go."
She ran to the bathroom, slamming the door, at once sinking to the floor, her fingers tracing the all too familiar lines of the tile as she leaned up against the door. "I don't want you to see me like this." She called softly in resignation, as she took a deep breath, fighting off the shallow breaths that led her into panic as her world blurred in front of her.
She listened to the shuffle of his feet, and knew he was on the other side of the door.
"Please leave," she begged of him, tears now endlessly pouring down her face. "Please leave." She kept repeating her mantra her hands clung desperately to the door.
He stared at the closed door, listening to her cries. And then he left.
TBC….
