Part 21
Training at Tenchi's
By Bobcat
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo etc.
Author's Note: For those wondering, I will be using the Tenchi Universe Timeline for this story. It takes place about three months before they go off into space to stop Kagato from usurping the throne of Jurai.
It was another beautiful day at the Masaki shrine. The sun was just beginning to rise over the mountains, and the light seemed to dance on the lake. It had been about a week since Washuu's machine had rewritten reality, and things were beginning to return to normal. At least, as normal as things ever got around there.
Ayeka, the First Princess of Jurai, was pulling on Tenchi's right arm. "Ryoko, you tramp! Lord Tenchi loves ME!"
The space pirate had a hold of Tenchi's left appendage. "Hah! He could never love anybody like you! He already loves ME! Right Tenchi?"
Tenchi sighed. If only I had a spine. Future Emperor of Jurai or not, his life really sucked. It was bad enough that the two had gone so far as to completely rewrite reality to ensnare him, but in the aftermath, their rivalry had become worse. He stood up.
Ayeka looked at him with stars in her eyes. "Tenchi! Are you finally going to tell this horrible woman off?" Ryoko said the same thing simultaneously.
"No, I was just going to go out to the dock and throw some rocks. Now let go of me!" They complied. The young man walked despondently along the small pier that extended into the lake. He didn't know why they had it, considering that they had never owned a boat. However, it was a good place to think, since he was far enough away from the house to be part of nature, but close enough so that he could respond to whatever crisis would occur that day. He could see it now. "They're probably having some sort of battle because each blames the other for me leaving." It was at this moment that a bolt of Chi slammed into the side of the house, blasting away most of the east wall. He then heard screaming as each accused the other of firing the shot. Once again, he sighed. He'd found himself doing that a lot since he had met the alien girls. "It's like clockwork with those two." A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. "What's that?"
Tenchi, being the heir to the power of Jurai, had been doing some training with his grandfather to unlock his potential. He could sense that there were four beings incoming, and that they had greater strength than anybody he had ever met. Tenchi groaned. "Not another evil alien invader!" He saw that they were coming directly for him. He decided to make no move to intercept them. If they had come to end his life, at least they couldn't fight over him any more. They zipped past him, causing a massive wave that almost washed him into the lake. He clutched the side of the dock and sputtered, "What the hell was that?"
It was Phil, Gohan, Omi and GoChibi. Phil politely rapped at the door. At that moment, the quartet of warriors were engulfed by a massive Chi bolt. When the smoke cleared, they were unharmed. Phil called out. "Excuse me? Anybody?" It looked as if Mihoshi and Kione had gone out on patrol, leaving Ayeka and Ryoko alone with Tenchi. Slightly louder, Phil said, "Excuse me!" While he talked, Ayeka used her force field to deflect another of Ryoko's energy beams. Now Phil was pissed; he didn't like being ignored. Those two aren't ever gonna finish this fight. Ryoko can't get past Ayeka's Juraian defensive powers, but Ayeka has very little in the way of offensive techniques. I'd say that their battles continue until one or the other gets bored. Using his superior speed, Phil appeared between Ayeka and Ryoko. "Yo! You have company!" The space pirate released the attack meant for Ayeka. Phil grabbed it with his bare hands and flung it out a nearby hole in the wall. It exploded in the
lake, sending Tenchi into the drink. He summoned his own ball of Chi. The pair gawked at the powerful energy ball. "Do I have your attention now?"
"Who are you?"
"Well, Princess, my name is Phil. I'm with the Physics Police, and I would like to know if Washuu is home."
Ayeka looked at him. "The what Police?"
"Never mind. You might strain your fragile little brain."
Ryoko studied his face. "Hey, I know you! You were at the World Martial Arts Tournament!"
"Yes, I was. Now, can somebody please answer my question?" He cocked his arm back, ready to through the attack.
Ryoko put up her hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Why do you want to talk to her?"
"What are you, you're mother's keeper? I thought you hated her."
"You've got a point there." Ryoko jerked her thumb over her back, indicating a large wooden door. "That's the door to her lab, but nobody gets in unless she let's `em in, or leaves the door unlocked."
Phil grinned. "We'll see about that." Flicking on his Reality Checker, Phil walked up to the door. The field interfered with whatever energy flow Washuu's pseudoscientific, semi mystical technology used made the door invincible. Then, taking a simple lock pick, Phil unlocked the door and stepped in. After a few moments, it opened again and he looked at his companions. "Hey, guys! You commin' or what?" The trio of warriors followed him, and the lovesick aliens went back to their battle.
As they descended a flight of stairs, they saw marvelous things never dreamed of by the human mind. Phil looked up at what looked to be some sort of prototype fusion reactor and snorted. "Ours are half that size."
After a few minutes, they found Washuu. The short scientist had long, Super Saiyan style red hair. Phil coughed. "Excuse me?"
She jumped up in surprise, forgetting the invention she'd been working on. "Who?"
"I'm Phil. I'm with the Physics Police."
She panicked. "D-don't worry, officer! I haven't been messing with reality again! Here, I have my license! See! See!"
Phil waved the hysterical woman down. "You haven't done anything wrong. Yet. I was just wondering if you could do us a favor."
She raised an eyebrow. "What kind of favor?"
"First, you can manipulate the flow of time in one of your little pocket dimensions, right?"
"Easily!"
"Second question: can you slow it down so that exactly one earth day equals exactly one year?"
"Nope. On a whim, I tried something similar to that once, but the best I was able to do was turn one year into two, and you couldn't leave ahead of time without destabilizing the time field. If I really put all of my energy into it, I could figure it out in about... five weeks."
Phil cursed under his breath. "Well, how about manipulating gravity? Say, maybe be able to amplify a planet's gravitational field to about... 500 times, maybe?"
"Oh, that's child's play! The gravity room is down that hall, third door on the left."
Phil was confused. He had expected to have to wait while Washuu made this kind of chamber. After all, there wasn't anybody around capable of, training at that kind of level. "Why would you have a Gravity Room?"
"I assume your going to train in it, right?" He nodded. "There are other uses for this kind of thing besides increasing Chi powers. For any vehicles I make, it's an excellent test of how much stress the frame can take." Again, Phil nodded.
"So, you'll let us use it?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Well, it's just that you don't normally give stuff away..."
"Oh, speaking of payment, I'll need to run some tests on you for my data banks."
Phil sighed. "I saw that coming. You can have Gohan. I'll go make some arrangements with Tenchi's grandfather." Phil and the girls swiftly left, leaving behind a confused Saiyan.
"Now just wait one minute here..."
Washuu grabbed him by the hand. "Come along, guinea pig!"
Gohan was extremely afraid. "What's Phil gotten me into this time?"
Grandfather (everybody called him that, even those unrelated to him) was in the shrine. He heard Ryoko and Ayeka's morning fight and checked his watch. "Hmmm. I'm two minutes fast." He made the proper adjustments, and then halted as four energy signatures with more strength than anything he had ever felt before. "What is this?" He crouched into a lotus position and stretched out his consciousness. He lost sight of them for a moment. They must have gone into Washuu's lab. I can never sense what's going on in those little dimensions that she insists on creating. Where four had gone in, three returned. Two of them remained at the house. He could sense that Ayeka and Ryoko's battle auras collapsed. These invaders are too strong! Suddenly, a voice came from behind him.
"Hello, Yosho."
The old man was surprised for two reasons. First of all, as the Champion of Jurai, he had been counted among the most powerful warriors in the Universe. There was no way this man should have been able to enter the room without him noticing it. Second, nobody knew that he was Yosho, the long absent Prince of Jurai. He stammered, "W-who is this Yosho?"
"Yosho. Prince of Jurai. Your remember. You came to Earth a couple generations back, and decided that you liked the place. You're Tenchi's Grandfather."
He assumed a fighting stance. "Who are you? What do you want?"
"Calm down, old man. If I wanted you dead, you wouldn't have even known I was here. As for my name, I'm Phil and I'm a Physics Policeman."
"The Physics Police?" Grandfather relaxed. "You look familiar."
"My Dad said that he met you once. Something about a rogue Saiyan and a wormhole."
"Yes, I believe his name was Frank, right?" Phil nodded. "How is he?"
"He's been dead for some time now."
"You have my condolences. Now, why are you here today?"
"Well, a being by the name of Cell has attacked the planet, and I require some assistance."
Grandfather sighed. "I am sorry, but I am too old to fight one that would give you pause, and Tenchi is too inexperienced to fight that kind of evil."
"Well, it is rather fortunate that I don't require your assistance on the battlefield then. All I ask is for permission to live here for a month."
"Why here?"
"I figure this is the last place Cell would look for us. Besides, having the self-proclaimed greatest scientist in the universe backing you up doesn't hurt either."
Yosho grinned. "Yes, Washuu is impressive, isn't she? Very well. You have my leave to remain here as long as you need to."
"Thank you, Yosho."
"Please, don't call me that in front of the others. They really have no idea of my true identity."
"OK, and thanks, Grandfather." Phil flew off to report this development to his allies.
"He reminds me so much of his father." Grandfather went back to his meditation.
* * * *
Back in Washuu's lab:
Gohan was strapped onto a cold, sterile table. Washuu had hooked up various monitors to him. He even had sensors on his tongue! Washuu had also insisted that he remove the Saiyan Battle Armor he had procured from Bulma. "Ah you finithed yet?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full. And yes, you're free to go." As quickly as he could, Gohan crammed himself into his clothes and flew up the stairs.
Gohan was upset. "I'm going to have a long talk with Phil.
* * *
Later:
Gohan looked about the gravity room and was impressed. "She managed to pack all this into the basement? Cool!"
Phil surveyed their surroundings. The room resembled a gymnasium; there were various weights and exercise machines, as well as a pool and a field. "Actually, she makes a habit of creating miniature dimensions. We are no longer in your home universe." He chuckled. "I hear that it took centuries for the Physics Police to figure out why there were tiny chunks of reality popping out of nowhere. Of course, then there was that incident where she created that device that could reshape reality." He shuddered. "It was utter chaos; all of our field agents were assimilated, so we had no way of determining what was going on. Thank God that she managed to fix it, or else it might have caused a chain reaction of pure chaos. We've been keeping a close eye on her since that incident."
Omi and GoChibi were chatting. Phil cupped his hand to his mouth. "Hey girls! There'll be plenty of time for that after we save the fabric of reality!"
Gohan said, "So, what's the game plan?"
"Step one: we spend about a week getting used to the higher gravity." He pulled out a small remote control Washuu had given him. "This thing can simulate Earth's gravity times two thousand. I'm starting with two hundred." He pressed the button, and the lights in the room began to glow dark red. I still can't figure out why it does that in DBZ universes! Given the power of the room's inhabitants, it wasn't surprising that it had little effect. "Now, we spar. Gohan, we're going to have a little father-daughter bonding."
Phil powered up, and Omi followed suit. "I'm not holding back; I saw what you did to Majin Buu." The girl nodded. The two began to exchange blows. Phil struck out three times with is right hand. His first punch was blocked, as was the second. The third landed home, sending the girl sprawling. Phil was worried until he saw her leap back onto her feet. She attempted to catch him with a right kick, only to have her leg pass through his afterimage. She couldn't find him for a moment, but Phil's left hook almost caught her in the temple. She grabbed his arm and flipped him over her shoulder. Phil landed with a thud.
"So, looks like I didn't neglect your training."
"Not in the slightest." Omi grinned arrogantly.
"Now you learn why brains always beats brawn." He faded out and attempted to catch her in the back of the head. She dodged, only to have Phil catch her in the gut with his knee. Then, a barrage of punches rained down on her. Far too many to have come from one man.
"Solar Flare!" There was a bright flash, and Phil was forced to look away. When the light cleared, she had rendered three men identical to Phil unconscious. "The Multi-Form technique, eh? It let you land more blows, but it made you too weak to hurt me."
"Impressive." The three unconscious forms were converted into energy and absorbed by the fourth Phil. "When I pulled that on GoChibi, she couldn't figure out what was going on, so I managed to beat her. You've got a good head on your shoulders."
"I take after you." Phil unclipped his lightsaber, and Omi followed suit. "Lightsaber training?"
"Yup. I figure that's one advantage Cell doesn't have." They triggered their weapons, and Omi's blade was the same shade of yellow as Phil's. "Hey, that's mine!"
"You gave it to me."
"Alright, enough fooling around. Let the real training begin." The energies of the Mystical Powerup surrounded both warriors.
Later that night, at the dinner table:
Sasami had really outdone herself. After being informed by Phil that, quote, "You've got gluttons amongst you that make Ryoko look like Ally McBeal," she had decided to triple her usual serving sizes. However, the quantity hadn't affected the quality of the meal, and the Saiyans and their companions kept coming in for more. As Omi scraped some more vegetable tempura onto her plate, she said, "Training at two hundred times Earth's gravity really gives you an appetite!"
Ayeka looked at GoChibi. The proper introductions had already been made, and their various life stories had been swapped. The future Moon Princess inhaled another pile of noodles. "That isn't any way for a Princess to eat!"
"What do you mean?"
"It isn't mannerly!"
"But..."
Phil joined in. "Actually, Ayeka, I was wondering about that myself. I videotaped her eating, and, when you slow it down, she has more manners than the Queen of England. It just looks sloppy because she's so fast."
"Oh."
Phil addressed the group. "Does anybody have any idea where Mihoshi and Kione are?"
"They're still on patrol. They called awhile back, and said that they'd run into some pirates."
"Thanks, Sasami." Phil ate another chunk of Teriyaki. Realizing that he'd run out of topics, Phil decided to ask a question that had plagued him for years. "Say, has anybody ever noticed that Ayeka is Tenchi's great aunt?"
This caused Ayeka to turn beat red and snort the tea she had been drinking out her nose. Rubbing her nose, she yelled, "How dare you!?"
Tenchi was pondering this development. "Y'know, he's right. And all this time, you've been trying to get me to... GROSS!" He quickly dashed upstairs, looking for the bathroom so that he could expel the contents of his stomach.
Ryoko grinned at Phil. "A man after my own heart!"
Gohan was confused. "Wait a second... she isn't old enough to be Tenchi's great aunt."
"Actually, the Juraians are an incredibly long lived race, thanks to the energy they absorb from their trees. Ayeka here is over a thousand years old."
"Stop that! You never mention a lady's age! Why do you insist on embarrassing me?"
"What, Gohan's never met you people before. We all know it anyways, so what's the harm in telling?"
"You brute!"
At that moment, the pair of Galaxy Police officers entered the room from one of the many holes in the wall. Mihoshi's stomach grumbled audibly. "Is there any food left?"
Gohan looked up from his rice. "Sure!"
Phil looked up. "Hello..." He paused as he met Kione's gaze. Suddenly, in the back of his mind, he could here some romantic music playing.
"Why do birds, suddenly appear? Every time, that you're near?"
In Kione's brain, much the same was happening. However, the music playing was the Juraian equivalent, "Why do meteors keep running into my ship when you're around?" (At first, they had assumed that it was love at first sight. They later determined that some radio waves had interfered with their brain waves for some unexplainable reason.)
Phil looked from Omi, to Kione. Omi. Kione. They shared the same hair. Their faces were identical. Their postures were similar; they had the same professional air. Heck, their Chi signatures were almost identical. Kione? I marry Kione? He looked at Mihoshi. Of course! She's my soul mate! The only police officer in the galaxy whose life sucks as much as mine! He stood up and stretched his hand out to her. "Hello. My name is Phil." She was still on verse three (Why do supernovas seem to occur more frequently when you go near red giants?"), and robotically shook his hand.
"Hi, Phil. I'm Kione."
Mihoshi bumped her aside and grabbed his hand. "And I'm Mihoshi! How are you?"
"Back off, flake!" Mihoshi ran upstairs sobbing. Of course, she grabbed a plate of Yakisoba first.
Kione's estimation of the man grew immeasurably. "Wow! You think as little of Mihoshi as I do!"
Ryoko also liked this guy. "Hey Phil, thanks for eliminating my competition."
Ayeka glared at Ryoko. "You demon woman! Why would Tenchi ever wish to marry you?"
"I don't know, Auntie! Why don't you use your thousand years of experience to tell me?"
"Why you..."
Phil's battle aura flared. The two cowered before his might. Phil didn't like being interrupted when he was making time with attractive women. "Would you mind taking this outside? Now!" The two ran off, Ryoko with her tail literally between her legs. Phil turned back to Kione. "You think Mihoshi's bad? Let me tell you about a guy I know named Warren." The two began conversing. They continued trading tales from the trenches long after the dinner table had been cleared.
End Part 21
Phil + Kione. It makes sense, doesn't it? Until very recently, Phil's career had sucked. There was a brief stretch (the World Martial Arts Tournament and shortly after) where Phil had a good time. Then, getting beat up by Vegeta, Majin Buu and Cell in quick succession brought him back into total bummer territory. Kione, I decided, was the only woman in the known universe who could sympathize with him. Also, we saw some more of Phil's maliciously evil side this episode; more of that to come.
Training at Tenchi's
By Bobcat
Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, Sailor Moon, Tenchi Muyo etc.
Author's Note: For those wondering, I will be using the Tenchi Universe Timeline for this story. It takes place about three months before they go off into space to stop Kagato from usurping the throne of Jurai.
It was another beautiful day at the Masaki shrine. The sun was just beginning to rise over the mountains, and the light seemed to dance on the lake. It had been about a week since Washuu's machine had rewritten reality, and things were beginning to return to normal. At least, as normal as things ever got around there.
Ayeka, the First Princess of Jurai, was pulling on Tenchi's right arm. "Ryoko, you tramp! Lord Tenchi loves ME!"
The space pirate had a hold of Tenchi's left appendage. "Hah! He could never love anybody like you! He already loves ME! Right Tenchi?"
Tenchi sighed. If only I had a spine. Future Emperor of Jurai or not, his life really sucked. It was bad enough that the two had gone so far as to completely rewrite reality to ensnare him, but in the aftermath, their rivalry had become worse. He stood up.
Ayeka looked at him with stars in her eyes. "Tenchi! Are you finally going to tell this horrible woman off?" Ryoko said the same thing simultaneously.
"No, I was just going to go out to the dock and throw some rocks. Now let go of me!" They complied. The young man walked despondently along the small pier that extended into the lake. He didn't know why they had it, considering that they had never owned a boat. However, it was a good place to think, since he was far enough away from the house to be part of nature, but close enough so that he could respond to whatever crisis would occur that day. He could see it now. "They're probably having some sort of battle because each blames the other for me leaving." It was at this moment that a bolt of Chi slammed into the side of the house, blasting away most of the east wall. He then heard screaming as each accused the other of firing the shot. Once again, he sighed. He'd found himself doing that a lot since he had met the alien girls. "It's like clockwork with those two." A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. "What's that?"
Tenchi, being the heir to the power of Jurai, had been doing some training with his grandfather to unlock his potential. He could sense that there were four beings incoming, and that they had greater strength than anybody he had ever met. Tenchi groaned. "Not another evil alien invader!" He saw that they were coming directly for him. He decided to make no move to intercept them. If they had come to end his life, at least they couldn't fight over him any more. They zipped past him, causing a massive wave that almost washed him into the lake. He clutched the side of the dock and sputtered, "What the hell was that?"
It was Phil, Gohan, Omi and GoChibi. Phil politely rapped at the door. At that moment, the quartet of warriors were engulfed by a massive Chi bolt. When the smoke cleared, they were unharmed. Phil called out. "Excuse me? Anybody?" It looked as if Mihoshi and Kione had gone out on patrol, leaving Ayeka and Ryoko alone with Tenchi. Slightly louder, Phil said, "Excuse me!" While he talked, Ayeka used her force field to deflect another of Ryoko's energy beams. Now Phil was pissed; he didn't like being ignored. Those two aren't ever gonna finish this fight. Ryoko can't get past Ayeka's Juraian defensive powers, but Ayeka has very little in the way of offensive techniques. I'd say that their battles continue until one or the other gets bored. Using his superior speed, Phil appeared between Ayeka and Ryoko. "Yo! You have company!" The space pirate released the attack meant for Ayeka. Phil grabbed it with his bare hands and flung it out a nearby hole in the wall. It exploded in the
lake, sending Tenchi into the drink. He summoned his own ball of Chi. The pair gawked at the powerful energy ball. "Do I have your attention now?"
"Who are you?"
"Well, Princess, my name is Phil. I'm with the Physics Police, and I would like to know if Washuu is home."
Ayeka looked at him. "The what Police?"
"Never mind. You might strain your fragile little brain."
Ryoko studied his face. "Hey, I know you! You were at the World Martial Arts Tournament!"
"Yes, I was. Now, can somebody please answer my question?" He cocked his arm back, ready to through the attack.
Ryoko put up her hands in a conciliatory gesture. "Why do you want to talk to her?"
"What are you, you're mother's keeper? I thought you hated her."
"You've got a point there." Ryoko jerked her thumb over her back, indicating a large wooden door. "That's the door to her lab, but nobody gets in unless she let's `em in, or leaves the door unlocked."
Phil grinned. "We'll see about that." Flicking on his Reality Checker, Phil walked up to the door. The field interfered with whatever energy flow Washuu's pseudoscientific, semi mystical technology used made the door invincible. Then, taking a simple lock pick, Phil unlocked the door and stepped in. After a few moments, it opened again and he looked at his companions. "Hey, guys! You commin' or what?" The trio of warriors followed him, and the lovesick aliens went back to their battle.
As they descended a flight of stairs, they saw marvelous things never dreamed of by the human mind. Phil looked up at what looked to be some sort of prototype fusion reactor and snorted. "Ours are half that size."
After a few minutes, they found Washuu. The short scientist had long, Super Saiyan style red hair. Phil coughed. "Excuse me?"
She jumped up in surprise, forgetting the invention she'd been working on. "Who?"
"I'm Phil. I'm with the Physics Police."
She panicked. "D-don't worry, officer! I haven't been messing with reality again! Here, I have my license! See! See!"
Phil waved the hysterical woman down. "You haven't done anything wrong. Yet. I was just wondering if you could do us a favor."
She raised an eyebrow. "What kind of favor?"
"First, you can manipulate the flow of time in one of your little pocket dimensions, right?"
"Easily!"
"Second question: can you slow it down so that exactly one earth day equals exactly one year?"
"Nope. On a whim, I tried something similar to that once, but the best I was able to do was turn one year into two, and you couldn't leave ahead of time without destabilizing the time field. If I really put all of my energy into it, I could figure it out in about... five weeks."
Phil cursed under his breath. "Well, how about manipulating gravity? Say, maybe be able to amplify a planet's gravitational field to about... 500 times, maybe?"
"Oh, that's child's play! The gravity room is down that hall, third door on the left."
Phil was confused. He had expected to have to wait while Washuu made this kind of chamber. After all, there wasn't anybody around capable of, training at that kind of level. "Why would you have a Gravity Room?"
"I assume your going to train in it, right?" He nodded. "There are other uses for this kind of thing besides increasing Chi powers. For any vehicles I make, it's an excellent test of how much stress the frame can take." Again, Phil nodded.
"So, you'll let us use it?"
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Well, it's just that you don't normally give stuff away..."
"Oh, speaking of payment, I'll need to run some tests on you for my data banks."
Phil sighed. "I saw that coming. You can have Gohan. I'll go make some arrangements with Tenchi's grandfather." Phil and the girls swiftly left, leaving behind a confused Saiyan.
"Now just wait one minute here..."
Washuu grabbed him by the hand. "Come along, guinea pig!"
Gohan was extremely afraid. "What's Phil gotten me into this time?"
Grandfather (everybody called him that, even those unrelated to him) was in the shrine. He heard Ryoko and Ayeka's morning fight and checked his watch. "Hmmm. I'm two minutes fast." He made the proper adjustments, and then halted as four energy signatures with more strength than anything he had ever felt before. "What is this?" He crouched into a lotus position and stretched out his consciousness. He lost sight of them for a moment. They must have gone into Washuu's lab. I can never sense what's going on in those little dimensions that she insists on creating. Where four had gone in, three returned. Two of them remained at the house. He could sense that Ayeka and Ryoko's battle auras collapsed. These invaders are too strong! Suddenly, a voice came from behind him.
"Hello, Yosho."
The old man was surprised for two reasons. First of all, as the Champion of Jurai, he had been counted among the most powerful warriors in the Universe. There was no way this man should have been able to enter the room without him noticing it. Second, nobody knew that he was Yosho, the long absent Prince of Jurai. He stammered, "W-who is this Yosho?"
"Yosho. Prince of Jurai. Your remember. You came to Earth a couple generations back, and decided that you liked the place. You're Tenchi's Grandfather."
He assumed a fighting stance. "Who are you? What do you want?"
"Calm down, old man. If I wanted you dead, you wouldn't have even known I was here. As for my name, I'm Phil and I'm a Physics Policeman."
"The Physics Police?" Grandfather relaxed. "You look familiar."
"My Dad said that he met you once. Something about a rogue Saiyan and a wormhole."
"Yes, I believe his name was Frank, right?" Phil nodded. "How is he?"
"He's been dead for some time now."
"You have my condolences. Now, why are you here today?"
"Well, a being by the name of Cell has attacked the planet, and I require some assistance."
Grandfather sighed. "I am sorry, but I am too old to fight one that would give you pause, and Tenchi is too inexperienced to fight that kind of evil."
"Well, it is rather fortunate that I don't require your assistance on the battlefield then. All I ask is for permission to live here for a month."
"Why here?"
"I figure this is the last place Cell would look for us. Besides, having the self-proclaimed greatest scientist in the universe backing you up doesn't hurt either."
Yosho grinned. "Yes, Washuu is impressive, isn't she? Very well. You have my leave to remain here as long as you need to."
"Thank you, Yosho."
"Please, don't call me that in front of the others. They really have no idea of my true identity."
"OK, and thanks, Grandfather." Phil flew off to report this development to his allies.
"He reminds me so much of his father." Grandfather went back to his meditation.
* * * *
Back in Washuu's lab:
Gohan was strapped onto a cold, sterile table. Washuu had hooked up various monitors to him. He even had sensors on his tongue! Washuu had also insisted that he remove the Saiyan Battle Armor he had procured from Bulma. "Ah you finithed yet?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full. And yes, you're free to go." As quickly as he could, Gohan crammed himself into his clothes and flew up the stairs.
Gohan was upset. "I'm going to have a long talk with Phil.
* * *
Later:
Gohan looked about the gravity room and was impressed. "She managed to pack all this into the basement? Cool!"
Phil surveyed their surroundings. The room resembled a gymnasium; there were various weights and exercise machines, as well as a pool and a field. "Actually, she makes a habit of creating miniature dimensions. We are no longer in your home universe." He chuckled. "I hear that it took centuries for the Physics Police to figure out why there were tiny chunks of reality popping out of nowhere. Of course, then there was that incident where she created that device that could reshape reality." He shuddered. "It was utter chaos; all of our field agents were assimilated, so we had no way of determining what was going on. Thank God that she managed to fix it, or else it might have caused a chain reaction of pure chaos. We've been keeping a close eye on her since that incident."
Omi and GoChibi were chatting. Phil cupped his hand to his mouth. "Hey girls! There'll be plenty of time for that after we save the fabric of reality!"
Gohan said, "So, what's the game plan?"
"Step one: we spend about a week getting used to the higher gravity." He pulled out a small remote control Washuu had given him. "This thing can simulate Earth's gravity times two thousand. I'm starting with two hundred." He pressed the button, and the lights in the room began to glow dark red. I still can't figure out why it does that in DBZ universes! Given the power of the room's inhabitants, it wasn't surprising that it had little effect. "Now, we spar. Gohan, we're going to have a little father-daughter bonding."
Phil powered up, and Omi followed suit. "I'm not holding back; I saw what you did to Majin Buu." The girl nodded. The two began to exchange blows. Phil struck out three times with is right hand. His first punch was blocked, as was the second. The third landed home, sending the girl sprawling. Phil was worried until he saw her leap back onto her feet. She attempted to catch him with a right kick, only to have her leg pass through his afterimage. She couldn't find him for a moment, but Phil's left hook almost caught her in the temple. She grabbed his arm and flipped him over her shoulder. Phil landed with a thud.
"So, looks like I didn't neglect your training."
"Not in the slightest." Omi grinned arrogantly.
"Now you learn why brains always beats brawn." He faded out and attempted to catch her in the back of the head. She dodged, only to have Phil catch her in the gut with his knee. Then, a barrage of punches rained down on her. Far too many to have come from one man.
"Solar Flare!" There was a bright flash, and Phil was forced to look away. When the light cleared, she had rendered three men identical to Phil unconscious. "The Multi-Form technique, eh? It let you land more blows, but it made you too weak to hurt me."
"Impressive." The three unconscious forms were converted into energy and absorbed by the fourth Phil. "When I pulled that on GoChibi, she couldn't figure out what was going on, so I managed to beat her. You've got a good head on your shoulders."
"I take after you." Phil unclipped his lightsaber, and Omi followed suit. "Lightsaber training?"
"Yup. I figure that's one advantage Cell doesn't have." They triggered their weapons, and Omi's blade was the same shade of yellow as Phil's. "Hey, that's mine!"
"You gave it to me."
"Alright, enough fooling around. Let the real training begin." The energies of the Mystical Powerup surrounded both warriors.
Later that night, at the dinner table:
Sasami had really outdone herself. After being informed by Phil that, quote, "You've got gluttons amongst you that make Ryoko look like Ally McBeal," she had decided to triple her usual serving sizes. However, the quantity hadn't affected the quality of the meal, and the Saiyans and their companions kept coming in for more. As Omi scraped some more vegetable tempura onto her plate, she said, "Training at two hundred times Earth's gravity really gives you an appetite!"
Ayeka looked at GoChibi. The proper introductions had already been made, and their various life stories had been swapped. The future Moon Princess inhaled another pile of noodles. "That isn't any way for a Princess to eat!"
"What do you mean?"
"It isn't mannerly!"
"But..."
Phil joined in. "Actually, Ayeka, I was wondering about that myself. I videotaped her eating, and, when you slow it down, she has more manners than the Queen of England. It just looks sloppy because she's so fast."
"Oh."
Phil addressed the group. "Does anybody have any idea where Mihoshi and Kione are?"
"They're still on patrol. They called awhile back, and said that they'd run into some pirates."
"Thanks, Sasami." Phil ate another chunk of Teriyaki. Realizing that he'd run out of topics, Phil decided to ask a question that had plagued him for years. "Say, has anybody ever noticed that Ayeka is Tenchi's great aunt?"
This caused Ayeka to turn beat red and snort the tea she had been drinking out her nose. Rubbing her nose, she yelled, "How dare you!?"
Tenchi was pondering this development. "Y'know, he's right. And all this time, you've been trying to get me to... GROSS!" He quickly dashed upstairs, looking for the bathroom so that he could expel the contents of his stomach.
Ryoko grinned at Phil. "A man after my own heart!"
Gohan was confused. "Wait a second... she isn't old enough to be Tenchi's great aunt."
"Actually, the Juraians are an incredibly long lived race, thanks to the energy they absorb from their trees. Ayeka here is over a thousand years old."
"Stop that! You never mention a lady's age! Why do you insist on embarrassing me?"
"What, Gohan's never met you people before. We all know it anyways, so what's the harm in telling?"
"You brute!"
At that moment, the pair of Galaxy Police officers entered the room from one of the many holes in the wall. Mihoshi's stomach grumbled audibly. "Is there any food left?"
Gohan looked up from his rice. "Sure!"
Phil looked up. "Hello..." He paused as he met Kione's gaze. Suddenly, in the back of his mind, he could here some romantic music playing.
"Why do birds, suddenly appear? Every time, that you're near?"
In Kione's brain, much the same was happening. However, the music playing was the Juraian equivalent, "Why do meteors keep running into my ship when you're around?" (At first, they had assumed that it was love at first sight. They later determined that some radio waves had interfered with their brain waves for some unexplainable reason.)
Phil looked from Omi, to Kione. Omi. Kione. They shared the same hair. Their faces were identical. Their postures were similar; they had the same professional air. Heck, their Chi signatures were almost identical. Kione? I marry Kione? He looked at Mihoshi. Of course! She's my soul mate! The only police officer in the galaxy whose life sucks as much as mine! He stood up and stretched his hand out to her. "Hello. My name is Phil." She was still on verse three (Why do supernovas seem to occur more frequently when you go near red giants?"), and robotically shook his hand.
"Hi, Phil. I'm Kione."
Mihoshi bumped her aside and grabbed his hand. "And I'm Mihoshi! How are you?"
"Back off, flake!" Mihoshi ran upstairs sobbing. Of course, she grabbed a plate of Yakisoba first.
Kione's estimation of the man grew immeasurably. "Wow! You think as little of Mihoshi as I do!"
Ryoko also liked this guy. "Hey Phil, thanks for eliminating my competition."
Ayeka glared at Ryoko. "You demon woman! Why would Tenchi ever wish to marry you?"
"I don't know, Auntie! Why don't you use your thousand years of experience to tell me?"
"Why you..."
Phil's battle aura flared. The two cowered before his might. Phil didn't like being interrupted when he was making time with attractive women. "Would you mind taking this outside? Now!" The two ran off, Ryoko with her tail literally between her legs. Phil turned back to Kione. "You think Mihoshi's bad? Let me tell you about a guy I know named Warren." The two began conversing. They continued trading tales from the trenches long after the dinner table had been cleared.
End Part 21
Phil + Kione. It makes sense, doesn't it? Until very recently, Phil's career had sucked. There was a brief stretch (the World Martial Arts Tournament and shortly after) where Phil had a good time. Then, getting beat up by Vegeta, Majin Buu and Cell in quick succession brought him back into total bummer territory. Kione, I decided, was the only woman in the known universe who could sympathize with him. Also, we saw some more of Phil's maliciously evil side this episode; more of that to come.
