Part 22

Ralph Runs Interference

By Bobcat

Disclaimer: I don't own anything featured except for the Physics Police.

Piccolo's Watchtower

Universe FC-1

Ralph and Ecks exited the Hyperbolic Time Chamber. Before going off to train, Phil's instructions had been to go train for a day in the Chamber. Now, after a year of effort, the pair had grown much stronger. Ralph's exercises had been more focused on the Force, while Ecks had attempted increase her manna potential. Ralph sighed. "That day just seemed to drag on and on, ya know?"

His companion groaned. "That wasn't funny the first thousand times you said it, and it gets worse by the second."

"Whatever. Now, we have to find Android 17."

"You mean that girl who we were playing cards with?"

"No, that was 18. 17 is her brother."

"Why do we need him? Is he strong enough to help us against Cell?"

"Do you particularly care?" She shook her head. "Well, in that case, I'll give you the condensed version. Cell and the Androids were both created by an evil genius named Doctor Geroe. Cell isn't at his maximum potential, nor is he in his optimum state. Geroe designed him so that he would become infinitely more powerful if he absorbed Androids 17 and 18. 18 is back at HQ, so she's out of Cell's grasp. However, 17 is out communing with nature somewhere. We need to find him before Cell does."

Ecks took out her scouter. Ralph waved her down. "That thing's just a toy. The Androids don't produce any Chi, so you can't use that thing to find them."

"Then what do you propose?"

"They're really cyborgs, so they still have some contact with the Force."

"Wait a sec... don't all life forms produce the Force?"

"Yeah, so?"

"If he's out in the woods, won't he be masked by the sheer number of creatures?"

"D'oh! That means we'll have to check every forest in Japan! Thank God they're so industrialized that there aren't very many of those left!" He pulled out his map, and then went to the geographical index. "OK, there's a forest about ten kilometers north of here. You check that out. Use your flare gun; he might just notice you."

"What're you going to do?"

Ralph began listening to a Police Radio. "Cell isn't being very stealthy. He's been sighted about... three kilometers south of Tokyo. I'll keep him busy, while you search. I'm having Joshua in the records department sift through the broadcasts for the past day to figure out where Cell's already looked, so we can eliminate those forests. Here's a picture of Android 17. Got that?"

"Yes sir!" She flew off.

Ralph readied his lightsaber. "Here's hoping that the Force is with me today." Using manna to achieve flight, he hoped he wasn't speeding towards his death.

A few minutes later:

Cell was floating over a highway that ran through a thick stand of trees. He inhaled deeply, and spoke in a booming voice that could be heard for kilometers. "I know you're here somewhere, Android 17! Come out before I vaporize this entire forest!" He sent a Chi bolt down, vaporizing a Mack truck. "Until you come out and face me, a person dies every minute!"

"That isn't very sporting, Cell."

"Who... oh, it's only you, Ralph. For a second there, I was worried."

"You should be. I'm going to have to kill you now."

Cell began to laugh. "That's funny, Jedi. Now run off before you annoy me."

He ignited his lightsaber. The red shaft of light extended for a meter. "I'll do more than annoy you, Cell."

"Bug off, insect." Cell threw another Chi bolt at a nearby Honda. Cell was surprised when it did a U-turn and flew back at him. Despite his Spider Sense, Cell didn't react quickly enough to avoid the strike. It exploded upon coming into contact with him. It did no damage, but Cell was shocked nonetheless. "What?"

"The Force is my ally."

"What do you know? Me to!" He attempted to fling Ralph to the unyielding concrete beneath his feet. Ralph floated there as if nothing had happened. "What? But I inherited the Force abilities of Phil and GoChibi!"

"Those two are nothing compared to the mastery I now wield."

"You weren't this powerful before... I would have sensed you!"

"The Hyperbolic Time Chamber is an amazing little thing, isn't it?"

Cell's eyes widened. "Of course! That explains everything! But, you must realize that you're nothing compared to my other talents."

"Care to try me?"

"Very well. Flame On!" Cell's body was engulfed in flame, and he sent a tongue of fire at Ralph. The Jedi simply parted the flames so that they went around him.

"You can do better than that, Cell."

Next, the composite warrior tried Superman's heat vision. "Burn!"

Ralph, alerted by the Force, used his lightsaber to parry the twin beams of light. They flew back towards Cell, who barely managed to avoid the strike. Cell's skin turned a brighter shade of green. "You make Cell angry! And the madder Cell gets, the stronger Cell gets! Cell smash!"

"Thank you for sharing, Cell. Now, let's try some pronouns." Ralph used the Force to deflect or avoid each punch. Ralph sliced out with his lightsaber, hacking away Cell's right hand. Then, Ralph grabbed Cell with the Force and sent him flying into an abandoned gasoline truck. The massive green creature lay there for a few moments, attempting to regain his senses. That was all the time Ralph needed. Scraping a chunk of Toyota against the side of the truck, he created sparks. One struck the growing pool of gasoline, causing a massive explosion.

As the raging inferno consumed the truck, a charred Cell reappeared behind Ralph. "I hate you." Cell had regenerated his missing limb by this time. "You're good at distracting me, but you can't hold out forever."

"Do not grow too proud of your inherited Z fighter talents. The ability to destroy a planet is nothing compared to the power of the Force." Of course, Ralph spoke with a confidence he didn't feel. His head was beginning to pound due to the pressure he was putting himself through. Ralph gestured with his hands, and Cell began to feel a pressure on his throat. He ignored it for a few moments, but the pressure grew. "That's annoying, but you of all people should know I don't have to breathe."

Ralph smacked his forehead. "D'oh!" He had forgotten that Cell had the ability to survive in space, inherited from Freeza. He complied.

While Cell rubbed his throat (he didn't need to breathe, but it was still painful), Ralph went on the offensive, slashing with his lightsaber. Cell faded out of existence, and then reappeared behind Ralph. The Jedi scarcely had time to bring up a magic forcefield before Cell's three-fingered fist smashed him into oblivion.

He slashed again, hoping the Ecks was having better luck than he was.

* * *

"Hello! Android 17! Are you here?" Ecks was floating above a national park about twenty kilometers from Ralph's battle. She saw a trail of smoke. Hoping that it was his campsite, she flew in. She found a family of four. A little girl pointed up.

"Look, Mom! It's Sailor Jupiter!"

"That's nice, dear. Now, would you mind helping me with the firewood?"

Ecks sighed and flew off. "If there are others here, I'm betting that Android 17 isn't." She decided to limit her search to parks of limit to the general public.

* * *

Ten Minutes Later:

Cell's body converted into ice. Ralph nodded. "Iceman, right?"

"You got it." The air around Ralph became much colder, and he quickly found himself trapped in a block of ice. "I win." Suddenly, the ice began to glow and melt. Ralph sat in the center of the large puddle, shivering. "How did you get out?"

"I used the F-f-f-f-force to excite the frozen water molecules. S-s-s-s-so take th-th-th-that Cell!"

"Improved Kamehameha!" The laser bolt flashed towards Ralph, and the Jedi barely managed to deflect the beam in time. "You make me very angry. Shi Shi Houkou Dan!" The purple beam of energy flew out at Ralph.

"Zefeer Etim, Chronos fo eman eht Ni!" Ralph grinned as Cell and the massive bolt of anger powered Chi were frozen in time. Calmly floating up behind Cell, Ralph proceeded to slice him in half. Then, he was forced to exhale, and time proceeded at its normal speed. Cell flopped to the ground.

"I'll kill you for that!" Already, his lower half was regenerating.

Ralph used another spell. "D'undertholtes fo Zuse elend mir!" The lightning bolts crackled down and struck Cell, bringing about third degree burns across his body. He screamed in pain. Cell seemed to black out for a moment. "It can't have been that easy. He shouldn't have gone down that quickly. Unless..." Another Cell appeared behind him. "The Multiform Technique!"

The burned Cell converted into energy and was reabsorbed, along with the other duplicates. Cell punched Ralph, sending him to the ground. Cell stood over him with an egotistical smirk on his face. "Bingo. You put up quite a fight. However, both your manna and Force reserves are pitifully low. I'll enjoy absorbing you." Cell cocked hi tail back, ready to strike. However, Ralph had other ideas.

"Valkyrie Beam!" The yellow beam didn't even have time to assume the shape of a horse and rider. The magical assault simply blasted into Cell, and he disappeared for a moment. When the light cleared, the right side of Cell's body had been blasted away.

"How did you summon that energy so quickly?"

"Phil isn't the only one who can make attacks more efficient." Slashing with his lightsaber, Ralph cleaved Cell in half. "VALKYRIE BEAM!" Putting the last of his energy into the attack, Ralph managed to vaporize what remained of Cell. He panted, and collapsed to the pavement. He couldn't sense Cell with either his manna or Force techniques. "Is he...dead?" He lay there for a few moments, attempting to gather enough strength to call for a wormhole. That was when Cell reappeared directly above him. "How..."

"So long as one Cell of me is alive, I can bring myself back." He was significantly stronger; having just come back from the brink of death, that Saiyan trait gave him more power. "You get an A for effort, though."

"Planet X beam!" The magical assault caught Cell off guard, and he was thrown back. Ralph slowly turned his face to see Ecks standing there with Android 17. The black haired man looked as confident as ever.

"You found him. Good." He tapped his watch. "Transport for three. Now!" The wormhole opened up, and they exited universe FC-1. As they floated through the space between dimensions, Ralph glared at Ecks. "Did you have to wait till the last minute?"

"I had only just gotten there. Sorry." Android 17 was screaming; a fairly typical reaction to being pulled into a hole in reality. They landed on the cushions. However, Ecks' high heels couldn't take the strain of the impact; one of the heels snapped off and she bounced onto the hard, red earth. "Ouchies."

Ralph grinned. "Any landing you can walk away from is a good one."

"Tell that to my shoes. This is the third time this week!"

"Whatever. We should give Phil a call."

Android 17 looked in awe at the massive structure before him. "Where am I?"

"Ecks, you wanna explain, or should I?"

"I did it for Piccolo. It's your turn."

"Oh, all right. You see, 17, there are multiple realities..." As the reader, you already know the rest, so I'm skipping it. By the time Ralph finished his explanation, Ralph had escorted the android to where the other Z fighters were staying.

Android 18 eyed 17 in the same cold manner that she did everything else. "Hello, brother. It is good to see you again."

"The same. I never expected Cell to return. However, it is good that we have such powerful allies." Android 17 eyed Ralph. "How were you able to fight Cell? You're too weak to give Krillin here a good workout."

The short warrior protested. "Hey!"

"You guys only think in terms of physical strength. I draw upon the Force and magic. Basically, if I can imagine it, it can become reality. I could move this planet if I had to, but it would take a lot of energy."

"I see."

Ralph moved for the exit. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take a nap. Using the Force at that intensity really wears you out."

Ralph took the elevator to the proper level, and went down to room 18. When he arrived, Rei was watching TV. "Hey, Rei. Long time no see."

"What? You've only been gone a day."

"Never mind. I was going to get a bite to eat. Wanna come?"

"Sure." She switched off the Television. "I can't believe it. Millions of channels, drawn from the multitude of realities, and there still isn't anything good on!"

"That's one of the many mysteries that even the Physics Police can't figure out." They left the quarters, Rei dangling from Ralph's arm.

Back at the Masaki shrine:

Phil suddenly shuddered. Gohan punched him across the nose, sending him flying. "Phil? What happened?"

"It was that odd feeling again."

"You mean the one where several natural laws were simultaneously broken?"

"That's the one. It's probably nothing important." Phil kicked Gohan's feet out from under him. At seven hundred times Earth's gravity, Gohan slammed down into the floor and was only stopped when he collided with the barrier of Washuu's pocket dimension.

"Ouch."

Meanwhile, Cell was blasting the forest to smithereens and cursing in languages that nobody on Earth spoke. "That bastard! Now I'll never reach my full potential! Damn! Looks like I'll have to get stronger the old fashioned way." He flew off in search of a suitable training ground.

End Part 22

Not a very long chapter; I'm just setting up a few events for later.