Part 25

Score Two for Evil

By Bobcat

Disclaimer: I only own what came out of my twisted mind. Nuff said.

In an isolated corner of the Milky Way galaxy, there lived an advanced race of aliens known as the Se'kush. Physically, they were almost identical to the inhabitants of planet Earth. However, unlike humanity, these beings had long ago learned to settle their differences with words, as opposed to force. For centuries, they lived in isolation on their Utopian planet, known as Se'kushia. They had all believed that their perfect world was eternal. They had been wrong.

A female of the species clutched a shrieking infant to her chest. The invaders had attacked without warning. The Se'kushians were defenseless, as all weapons had been outlawed centuries before. The invaders' first move had been to vaporize their capital city of D'Narnush with an orbital bombardment. This attack had disabled communications on a planet wide scale, eliminating the remote chance of armed resistance from the peaceful race.

She heard a roaring sound. She was forced to the ground by a cushion of air as a wedge shaped fighter passed less than ten feet over her head. She managed to twist herself so that the child wasn't crushed in the fall. She looked up in horror as the spacecraft fired a pair of laser bolts into the statue of the Great Afu. The massive statue, a monument to one of their great leaders, had it's head and upper torso vaporized by the intense beams of light. The fighter then twisted nearly ninety degrees and flew straight up at supersonic speeds.

"Thank Afu. They are leaving." Several other fighters and what she thought were troop transports joined their companion in his hasty climb out of the atmosphere. Then she finally noticed the gigantic craft in orbit above the planet. To be visible from this distance, it had to be at least a mile long. It was shaped like a large sphere, with various ports sticking out of it at seemingly random intervals. She assumed that they were weapons ports, but couldn't be certain.

The fighter that she had seen earlier moved along with one of it's companions to flank some kind of shuttlecraft. It was built to resemble some kind of large wasp; with transparent wings extending from it's compartmented back, and large eyes composed of nearly a hundred panes of glass. Its six-legged landing gear unfolded from unfolded from their tucked away positions, and from the thorax, a landing plank extending downwards. Before the craft was even fully halted, twin lines of troopers exited the craft. There were nearly a dozen of them, each dressed in intimidating insectoid black power armor. Each arm ended in a small laser mounted over a claw like hand; on the back of each suit was a rocket pack and a disposable missile launcher. They immediately surrounded the craft in a circle, tracking their lasers back and forth, looking for any excuse to vaporize something.

After a few moments, a pair of figures exited the spacecraft. The first was an orange female. The woman thought that she looked like a Se'kushian, but this train of thought derailed when she saw the large, wormlike tentacles extending from the back of her skull. One was curled around her neck like a scarf, while the other simply followed gravity's course, dangling down to about the middle of her back. The other looked like a monster from the few horror stories to survive the War of D'Narnushian Succession. He was about seven feet tall, and looked even less like a Se'kushian than his companion. His most distinguishing feature was a pair of bovine horns that extended from the sides of his head, then turned upwards at a ninety degree angle. Similar, but smaller, horns seemed to have been added to his cheeks as an afterthought. These turned downwards. Each hand had three claw like fingers, and cloven hooves replaced his feet. He was dressed in a brightly colored robe, spun from
the finest Shi'ar glittersilk. In a mount on his back was massive broadsword. However, what was the single most terrifying feature was his right eye. A scar extended vertically across the eye, and the tissue had been replaced by a soulless construct of metal. The series of lenses constantly repositioned themselves, mimicking the focusing abilities of a natural organ, and possibly going beyond the normal range of sight. He looked out at the burning ruins of a once mighty civilization... and laughed. "It is good. T'Keela, give me the numbers."

The Twi'lek glanced down at her tiny computer. "My Lord, we have encountered no armed resistance. In fact, the people seem to have accepted their fates. According to records we downloaded from the planetary archives, there hasn't been any military conflict of any kind for thousands of years. The concept of confrontation is completely foreign to them."

"Very good. Slave rebellion is such a nasty thing, and it really cuts into our profits." He contemplated the situation. "Kill ten percent of them now. Let these slaves know that their new master hold the power of life and death over them."

"Yes, my lord."

The Se'kushian woman looked at them in openmouthed horror. "He... he orders the death of millions so casually!"

The tall man heard her and glared at her. It was impossible to determine which eye displayed less feeling. She screamed. He looked at her, his face a mask of bemused annoyance. "It seems that we missed one. Captain Galthor! Come to me at once!"

One of the infantry jetted over and saluted. "My Lord!"

"You've failed me, Galthor. You failed to disable this potential threat."

Even beneath the soulless battle armor, Captain Galthor was visible nervous. "My Lord, she is only an unarmed woman with an infant!"

"For all we know, she could have been a Super Saiyan or something. Your excuses disgust me." He casually sent his clawed hand through a faceplate that would have stopped a laser bolt. "Lieutenant M'ron, you are now in command of this of my bodyguard unit. Remember Galthor's failure, Captain M'ron."

He bowed, a difficult maneuver in his battle armor. "Yes, my Lord."

She was still in shock. "They all take it in stride! They are jaded by death!"

The large man looked down at her. "Enough with the expository chatter already! Seize her." A pair of armored infantryman complied. The baby wailed as it was torn from it's mother's arms.

She cried out, "N'tura!"

The cow like man rolled his eyes. "Please, stop. Your maternal pride sickens me. Kill it."

"No! N'tura!"

"Nothing personal. It simply costs more to raise slaves from infancy than I can get for them on the black market." A beam from one of the trooper's lasers vaporized the shrieking infant. She continued weeping and calling out N'tura's name. "Oh, cut it out already. You'll have plenty of time to bemoan your horrible fate after I sell you to the highest bidder."

T'Keela coughed politely. "Where to, sir?"

"Well, we haven't been to Nar Shada for a while. It will be good to see the Smuggler's Moon again. Besides, the Hutts always pay well."

Se'kushian woman didn't stop crying. "You monster! What are you?"

The giant looked down at her with mock horror evident on his features. "You mean you don't know who I am? Oh dear! In the excitement of the invasion, I forgot to tell everybody who I was!" In a playful fashion, he cupped his chin in his hand and stroked it thoughtfully. "How to do it best? I've vaporized your cities and disabled your communications, so I can't tell them on holovision... Eureka! T'keela!"

"Yes, my Lord?"

"Order the Inquisitor to bombard the planet, pattern beta."

"Sir, with all due respect, we haven't had an opportunity to evacuate all of our troops!"

"You're point is? They are mercenary scum, and are easily replaced." He looked down at the woman. "Come my dear, you shall learn my name soon enough." Still kicking and screaming, she was haled up the gangplank and the craft took off. A few moments after the shuttle left, the giant forced the girl's face around so that she looked out the multifaceted view port. "Now, don't blink. Or else." From the round capital ship came a barrage of turbolaser bolts. They lashed out, burning away thousands of years of toil and achievement. After a few moments, she looked in horror as the carnage began to take shape. At last, she knew the name of her tormentor. It was a name that she would curse until she was cold in the grave. Burned into the face of the planet surface for all eternity was the phrase, "Schlager wuz here."

Meanwhile, on Earth:

Phil and Gohan were sparring in the lower levels of the Masaki household. The girls had fused to become Omigo, and were lifting small armband mounted weights. At the increased gravity level, the five-pound weights weighed about five tons. Gohan was on the offensive, sending a hail of kicks and punches at his opponent. For the most part, Phil managed to dodge them. Suddenly, Phil and Omigo cried out in pain. Omigo sat down and looked physically ill. Phil paused and was caught across the face by Gohan's kick. He didn't get back up, since he hadn't had time to prepare for the blow.

The Saiyan was very surprised. In all the time that he and Phil had been training, the Physics Policeman had never let his guard down before. "Phil? What's wrong?"

Phil's left eye was already beginning to swell, and it looked like he would be sporting a black eye for some time to come. However, he didn't notice the pain. "It was... horrible. It was if millions of voices cried out at once, and were then silenced." Phil and Omigo cringed again. "There it was again!"

"Cell?"

Omigo shook her head. "No. It doesn't feel like him. He's probably up to something, but he wouldn't gain anything by simply vaporizing a country; he'd go in there and absorb the people individually."

Phil's eyes had a distant look. "It's familiar... I can't place it, but I know the guy who did this." He suddenly seemed to remember where he was. "We need to train more than ever. When we're through with Cell, we'll probably have to deal with this." Phil assumed a ready stance. Gohan did the same, and in seconds the pair was once again locked in combat.

* * *

The Justice League Satellite is a marvel of human engineering. It orbit's high above the Earth and is capable of monitoring most of the planet utilizing a chain of satellites. It is a large enough to comfortably house the Justice League and a small crew of support personnel, and has artificial gravity systems and advanced shielding to protect the crew from the deadly symptoms of living in space. Also, multiple weapons systems provide it with sufficient defense to hold off any invader long enough for the super heroes that inhabit it to return from whatever world they are defending. Bought by billionaire Bruce Wayne's Waynetech Enterprises, its defense systems and isolated location made it almost impregnable.

Waynetech's engineers hadn't planned on Cell.

Having crushed the Fantastic Four, Cell had sought out the satellite in his quest for more power. From Freeza, he had inherited the ability to survive in space. "Ah, there it is." Of course, sound doesn't travel in space, so he simply mouthed it, but Cell didn't care. A pair of defense satellites flew towards him, spewing missiles. Cell disappeared, and then reappeared next to one of the drones. The military grade titanium couldn't withstand his vicious kick. Knocked out of its orbit, the satellite tumbled down towards Earth and began to glow a bright red as it suffered the heat of reentry. The other was vaporized by a Chi bolt.

Having penetrated the outer perimeter, Cell noticed several more of the satellites moving into position. Laser bolts and missiles filled the air around him. He was able to avoid most of them, by the sheer number of projectiles filling the air ensured that a few hit. They had no visible effect. Automated turret systems mounted on the space station itself began to spew similar weapons at Cell. For several minutes, he contented himself with dodging the attacks. "After all, if I catch the heroes by surprise, I'll have an unfair advantage. Which would make things boring." A laser blast washed over him. It did no damage, but the turrets had more punch than the satellites. Cell thought it would be cruelly ironic to have come this far only to be defeated by some soulless defense system. He focused his Chi. A yellow battle aura surrounded him, then began to expand outwards. The power consumed the satellites, leaving only the turrets. "Solar Flare!" The bright flash was visible from
Earth, and several astronomers believed it to be several nearby stars going supernova simultaneously. The technique had the desired effect of blinding the computer's visual sensors. It would take the computers several moments to switch to radar. It was the only opening that Cell needed. He placed his middle and index fingers to his forehead and used the Instant Transmission to reappear directly next to a surprised Superman.

"Hello, Clark."

"Wh-what? How do you know my secret identity? Who are you?"

In an annoying monotone, Cell said, "I am Borg. Resistance is futile. Prepare to be assimilated."

"Borg? Like in Star Trek?"

"Actually, my name is Cell. Thanks for spoiling my joke, Captain Obvious."

The junior superhero pointed to a similar young man. "No, he's Captain Obvious. I'm the Fraudulent Ketchup Master!"

"No, you're space dust." A pair of Chi bolts easily reduced the sidekicks to their component atoms. "Now, where were we, Clark?"

That was when the rest of the Justice League burst in. Batman prepared a gas grenade. "Murderer!" Batman lobbed the grenade, which began spewing smoke. Wind milling his arms at high speeds, Cell created a current that sent it flying into the assembled heroes.

"Pardon me while I deal with these weaklings, Clark." Cell faded out of existence. Wonder Woman was the first to fall. He gave her a karate chop to the neck, snapping it instantly. He struck out with his tail and absorbed the Amazon before the life left her body.

"Diana!" The Flash moved at speeds no mortal could match. Cell simply moved to the right and caught him with a clothesline, breaking his noise. Cell grinned as the Flash's fluids were absorbed into his tail.

"Delicious. Next?" A young boy with short, black hair stepped forward and surrounded himself with a green barrier. "Ah, Green Lantern. That is a rather impressive force field there. I could break it, but it would be such a waste of energy. What to do? Oh yeah. I can teleport." In a puff of smoke, Cell transported himself within the shield. As Cell's stinger dug deep into his body, Green Lantern's last thoughts were, "Do I smell brimstone?"

A man leapt at him. He had long, wild blonde hair and his left hand had been replace by a hook. "Aquaman, I presume?" Using his considerable strength, the King of Atlantis slashed down, attempting to eviscerate Cell. He was quite surprised when the hook broke on Cell's skin. "I'm not sure if I'm even going to bother absorbing you." He continued in a mocking tone. "Oh, I'm scared! You can talk to fishes. Why, that has to be the most useful ability ever!"

Cell was distracted as Superman and Hawkgirl attacked his rear. The Kryptonian grabbed his tail and pulled, while the winged girl smashed him in the back of his head with a mace (yes, she had replaced it after her battle with the Hulk). Once again, the archaic weapon shattered. One of the spikes sticking from the mace made a small scratch along cell's exoskeleton. "That almost hurt." The tiny wound healed almost immediately. "You'll all die soon enough. Kaio-ken!" A red aura surrounded Cell's body, and at a speed even Superman couldn't track, he broke out of Superman's grip and assimilated Aquaman and Hawkgirl. "They aren't terribly strong, but every ounce of power helps."

"Monster!" Superman struck out with his heat vision. Cell simply ignored it.

"Now, who's left? Oh dear. I seem to have gotten everybody. No, wait a second... where's Bruce? I saw him earlier."

"Right here, murderer." He was behind Cell, and had one of his special weapons ready.

"Come now, Wayne. Do you honestly expect that "Batarang" of yours to hurt me in the slightest." Cell's Spider Sense tingled as Batman flung the weapon at Cell. The composite warrior was quite surprised when it dig several inches into his forehead. "Ouch! How did you do that?"

"Teflon coated titanium. Capable of penetrating just about anything. But the fun's only beginning."

"What..." There was a sizable explosion, and when the smoke cleared, Cell's head had been vaporized. His body collapsed.

Batman spat on him. "Good riddance."

"Nice work. If only we knew where that murderer came from, or why."

"So much unnecessary death..." That was when a tiny replica of Cell's head appeared on the stump of his neck. "How the hell?"

Cell's head began to grow, reforming itself from some kind of green liquid. "Do you have any idea how much that stings?"

"Impossible!"

"No Clark. You see, I am infused with nanotechnology, aided by a variety of other recuperative abilities. The healing factor of the X-Man Wolverine is quite helpful. It's sped up my recovering process tenfold."

"Who?"

"Oh, that's right. You and the X-Men used to inhabit different dimensions. My mistake. Now, which of you to kill first?" Batman flung another Batarang. It simply passed through Cell's body, dug into a nearby wall, and exploded. A few chunks of debris flew out at Cell and bounced off his beetle like wings.

"You can become intangible?"

"No. I'm simply very fast. Care for a demonstration, Bruce?" His stinger lashed out and embedded itself in Batman's gut. The Caped Crusader cried out in pain. "Now Bruce, remember; pain is only your body's way of telling you that you're in blinding agony." Batman's body was swiftly converted into liquid slurry, which Cell sucked into his tail.

"Batman!"

"Now Clark, it is your turn."

"How do you know who I am?"

"I was created from the DNA of the greatest warriors in the universe. You made the top one hundred. However, isn't it ironic that the only one here actually able to hurt me was the only one without any powers? Just giving you something to think about while you're converted into liquid." Cell flew forward with speed that the Man of Steel couldn't match and Clark Kent, AKA Kal-el, AKA Superman, ceased to exist as a separate being. In a tone matching Homer Simpson's, Cell said, "Mmmmm. Kryptonian."

Cell chortled. "Far too easy. Now who's next?" He pulled out a small sheet of folded paper and checked off the Justice League. "Now for the Avengers." He was about to teleport out of the space station, but halted. "Wait. Now that I've killed off the Justice League, this satellite is just a waste of taxpayer's dollars! There has to be some way to remedy this situation... aha! I have it! Ka... me... ha... me... ha!" The blue energy consumed the Justice League Sattelite almost instantly. "Good. I hate leaving loose ends. Now, on to New York, the Marvel Superhero capital of the world!"

Meanwhile...

Phil was searching through the Grimorum Achrinorum. "now, let's see here... Curse of Blindness? Too cruel. Curse of Clumsiness? Naw, we don't need another Mihoshi around here." He flipped a page and grinned wickedly. "Now this has possibilities. `A modified Midas touch. Any water the victim touches becomes...' oh, this is all too perfect!" He waved around a mystical artifact that he had "borrowed" from Ralph and began to chant the spell.

Upstairs, Ayeka was lowering herself into the communal bath that Washuu had created in one of her pocket dimensions. "Ah, what a nice day. Phil hasn't tried anything yet. I guess that talking to I gave him yesterday really sunk in." She didn't notice that she glowed red for a moment, an indication that the spell was taking effect. She lowered herself into the bath, and was quite surprised when she found herself sinking in a sea of boiling hot... raspberry jam?

"PPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"

End Part 25

Note: Schlager: from the German verb "Schlagen," which means "To beat." A Schlager is somebody who beats people.