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Part 28

Cell vs. Phil

(About bloody time!)

By Bobcat

Disclaimer: I don't have access to the illegal

substances necessary to think up most of these

characters.

Also, last chapter I misspelled symbiote "symobiote"

several times. This error will be corrected.

Days Left Until Battle with Cell: 0

Earth, Universe FC-1

Jusenkyo Springs, China

Phil ignited his lightsaber, and the sulfurous yellow

energy blade pierced the pre-dawn gloom. Far beneath

his feet stood SU5, Gohan, GoChibi and Omi. Phil

glared at his opponent. Cell clenched his fists, and

three adamantium blades

sprouted from each hand. Phil concentrated, feeling

Cell's strength. "Well, Cell. It looks as if you

haven't wasted the month we gave you."

"The same could be said of you."

"Shall we begin?"

"Let's shall." A bright yellow aura surrounded Cell.

Phil protested. "Whoa whoa whoa! Time out! There's a

method to this kind of fight. We have to do this in

stages."

"Huh?" Cell deactivated the Super Saiyan

transformation.

"Well, we've already done step one, where we have the

introductory fight, i.e., the World Martial Arts

Tournament. Then for step two, the first main

villains come along and they get killed. I.e. Yakon,

Nelka-Jo, Dabura, etc. Then, we have a semi-main

baddy, in this case, Majin Buu, come along and kick

everybody's communal butts. Then, we go off and train

and learn a new transformation or Powerup or

something. Then, along comes you, the main baddy.

You come along, somebody, in this case Omi, gets rid

of the semi-main baddy, the main baddy and hero fight

a bit, decide that the fight is too close to be

interesting, and then we train some more. Now, we

start off the fight at about a hundredth of our actual

potential, showcase any new techniques we've developed

and beat each other up. Then, once we've fought for

about ten minutes or so, whichever one of us is

getting his head handed to him reveals that they're

significantly less than their full power, and

everybody acts really surprised. After another couple

minutes, the person who didn't power up makes a

similar declaration. Then, we finally reveal our full

potential and good loses, which is OK since there's

always a good guy more powerful than the first

combatant ready to take his place."

Cell considered this for a moment. "You're right.

Where are my manners? Ready?"

"Yup."

"Let's go."

Author's Note: The rest of this chapter will be

composed mostly of yelling, powering up, firing huge,

insanely powerful attacks and the like. For those who

wish, you can skip to the bottom of the screen, then

onward to chapter 29. Then again, if you don't like

that sort of thing, what are you doing hanging around

the Dragon Ball Z section?

Cell faded away. Phil's Force senses barely alerted

him in time for him to parry a slashing attack from

Cell. The lightsaber and the adamantium claws

connected, sending sparks into the Spring of the

Drowned Mastodon. Phil struck out with his right

foot, catching Cell in the gut, sending the

genetically engineered warrior flying towards the

ground. Cell managed to halt his flight and sent

out a string of webbing flying towards Phil.

"I picked this one off of Venom." A line of webbing intercepted Cell's.

Phil smirked. "What do you know? So did I."

Cell nodded, comprehending. "So that's where the rest of the symbiote went."

Phil summoned a Chi bolt. "Destructo Disk!"

The jagged energy Frisbee flew out, closely following

Cell. At the last possible moment, Cell disappeared

in a puff of smoke, reappearing behind Phil. "Aw

shit!" Phil grabbed Cell's left fist, holding the

claws at bay while his left arm held Cell's right arm

blades at bay. "Take this." Beams of Chi went from

Phil's eyes, burning into Cell's torso. Cell backed

off for a moment. Phil pocketed his lightsaber.

"Where did you learn that one?"

"If Freeza can do it, then so can I."

"Point taken." Cell cupped his hands. "Ka... Me...

Ha... Me... Ha!" The blast of blue energy flew out

towards Phil. The Physics Policeman threw a little

ball of Chi into the center of Cell's attack, causing

a large explosion. The blast forced the spectators off

of their feet. He smirked.

"I hope that wasn't the best that you could do."

"You know it wasn't. Here's a full power one.

Masenko!" This time, a wall of yellow energy shot out

at Phil. He didn't seem the slightest bit nervous.

"Here's a little something that I've been working on.

Phil's ryu ougi!" A little white ball flew out,

intercepting the bolt.

GoChibi and the others stood off to the side, and the

young Saiyan had a perplexed look on her face. She

said, "Phil's desperation move? This is new."

This attack didn't cause an uncontrolled explosion.

Instead, it seemed to absorb the attack, and the

little ball grew larger. It flew past Cell. "Hah!

You missed!" That was when a massive blast sent Cell

flying. He crashed face first into the ground. "What

the hell?"

Phil grinned. "A modified Spirit Bomb. You see,

instead of slowly absorbing the energy from plants and

trees and stuff, it rapidly assimilates raw Chi, such

as is found in a Kamehameha or a Masenko. Also, I can

detonate it at will, as you just saw. It doesn't need

to be a direct hit, unlike most assaults. Not bad,

eh?"

Cell spat some grass from his mouth. "Yes. Very

impressive." Cell disappeared in another puff of

smoke, and grabbed Phil. "What say we go for a little

trip?" Before Phil could react, Cell was teleporting

across the battlefield.

Ralph winced. "Ouch. That's got to hurt."

Ecks said, "Huh?"

"It isn't very pleasant to be teleported by

Nightcrawler. I can really screw up your equilibrium."

Ecks said, "Whatever."

Phil also seemed to realize this. "Kaio-ken!" An

explosive red aura surrounded Phil, and he managed to

break away. Cell teleported away before he realized

that his passenger was gone. Phil used the Force to

predict where he would appear from next. Still

surrounded by his red aura, Phil pointed his hands at

Cell. "Shi Shi Houkou Dan!" The purple attack flew

out at Cell, causing him to disappear in the bright

flash. A moment later, Cell became visible again.

Smoke wafted from his singed hide.

"Ouch."

Suddenly, the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons

appeared from nowhere. "Hold on there! In Chapter

18, it was revealed that Phil could never use the

Kaio-ken ever again, lest he suffer a fatal heart

attack! Worst episode ever!"

Phil glared at him. "For your information, I've

determined that I'm only barred from the higher levels

of the Kaio-ken. So back off!"

"Very well. Now if you'll excuse me, I must return

to the Android's Dungeon." He waddled away, and

returned from whence he came.

Phil assumed a ready position. "Now, where were we?"

"Care t' hear the Banshee's wail, laddie?" Cell

inhaled.

Phil cursed. "Damn! The symbiote's weakness!" The

waves of sound buffeted him, causing Phil and his

alien companion significant pain. Phil gritted his

teeth. "So... horrible! Must... block... out... the

pain! Must... talk... like... this!" Phil

disappeared, then reappeared behind Cell, lightsaber

blazing. He stabbed Cell through one of his kidneys,

forcing him to stop. "You know, Cell, that adamantium

skeleton of yours doesn't do a thing for your guts."

Cell's face was a mask of pain. However, it was more

because of the pain the wailing had caused his own symbiote

than any effort on Phil's part. "I'll... have...

to... make a note... of that." Cell broke away, and

his body began to glow. "Now let us see how you fare

against the power of Storm."

"What, you got the X-Men to?"

"Yup." A hurricane of the likes not seen in human

history began to whirl around Phil. It was all that

Phil could do to maintain his position, much less

launch an attack. Then, the lightning began to

strike. It wasn't strong enough to significantly hurt

Phil, but it still stung.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. And did I mention ow?"

"East wind blow! North wind blow! Hail! Lightning!

Snow! Smog! I call upon you all!"

Phil began to gather energy. "I've got to time this

perfectly. I need to disrupt his control." Another

bolt of lightning struck him. "Owch! That hurts!" He

began to glow a bright yellow as his Chi began to

reach higher levels. Finally, Phil brought his hands

together, homing in on where he thought that Cell was.

"BIG BANG ATTACK!" A powerful wave of yellow energy

flew out.

Cell, still focused in utilizing his new control over

the elements, didn't notice the attack in time to

dodge it. "Aw crap." The Chi blast washed over him,

and the weather calmed, much to the relief of the

noncombatants. However, the shockwave that followed

Phil's attack knocked them around, almost dumping

Ralph into the Spring of the drowned Pig. He halted just a few

inches over the pit, using the Force to levitate himself.

"Hey! Watch it!"

Once again, Cell was smoking. However, his healing

factor was already repairing the damage. "Should you

say it, or should I?"

"I'd like to. You can go next."

"Thank you."

"Cell, if you think that this is my true power, then

you are even stupider than you look! I'm currently

using less than a hundredth of my full potential!"

"Well, that was a nice warm up, wasn't it?"

"Indeed. Let's turn up the heat." With that, a blue

battle aura surrounded Phil, and a similar energy

surrounded Cell. Their power levels jumped up about

twenty times. Phil smirked. "Still holding back,

Cell?"

"No more than you."

"True enough. Improved Kamehameha!" Phil jerked his

hand back, sending a laser bolt at Cell. Cell used an

invisible force field to block the attack. However,

the powerful beam simply drilled through, blasting

away a good portion of Cell's right arm. The

adamantium skeleton glistened as the sun came

over the horizon. In a few moments, the nanobots

within Cell rebuilt the limb's flesh and skin.

"Well, Sue Richards' power is completely useless.

That didn't knock off more than one percent of the

energy from that beam. Flame on!" Cell regretted

this, as the flame toasted his symbiote. He grimaced.

"Oops. We forgot about that."

"Are we becoming a bit schizophrenic, Cell?"

"Stupid symbiote!" He considered his position. "I

can't extend my anatomy, thanks to the adamantium

skeleton, and I'm already using the Thing's strength

with my own... damn! I absorbed the Fantastic Four

for nothing!"

"Boo hoo." Phil summoned a pair of red and black

energy disks. "Destructo Disk!" He threw both at

Cell.

Cell simply ducked under the twin disks. "Hah! What

was that supposed to..." Even over the extreme

dangers of Jusenkyo Springs, Cell's Spider Sense

warned him of the coming attack. He narrowly evaded

the disks as they pulled a U-turn. "Borrowing attacks

from Vegeta and Freeza? My, how the mighty have

fallen."

Phil smirked arrogantly. "They're a couple of muscle

bound morons, but they know their stuff." Phil

twisted his arms around, sending one disk straight at

Cell while the other came in above from his right.

The first was dodged, but the other bit into his tail,

cutting off the blade. Phil thought, "Note to self:

that tail doesn't have an adamantium skeleton." He

simply let the energy disks dissipate. "Cell, all of

these fancy attacks aren't getting us anywhere. I

think that we'll have to go to good old fashioned

fisticuffs."

"Agreed." The two flew in straight at each other.

However, at the last moment Cell angled downwards,

then rebounded, placing both of his fists into Phil's

gut, sending the Physics Policeman flying. Phil

struggled for breath as the wind was knocked from him.

"Predictable, Phil."

"Ouch." Phil staggered back to his feet. Again,

Phil flew in. "Take this!" Phil and Cell began

trading blows. Phil blocked Cell's punch, then

launched a kick, which Cell leapt over. Continuing

his movement, Cell pulled a leapfrog maneuver, sending

Phil to the ground once again. "I reiterate: ouch."

By this time, Phil was covered with several large

bruises and cuts. Despite the repeated beatings

inflicted on Cell, he seemed to be unhurt.

"Alright! Enough playing around!" Phil's eyes

glowed white and the energy of the Mystical Powerup

surrounded him. Before Cell could respond, Phil had

placed a fist into Cell's gut. "Burn." He fired a

blast of energy into Cell's gut, vaporizing several

major organs. Cell cried out in pain. Phil saw an

oppening. "Time to finish this! Perfect Shi Shi

Houkou Dan!" A bright flash of light filled the air.

When it became bearable to look, there was no sign of Cell anywhere.

"I... won?"

GoChibi flashed Phil a thumbs up. "Nice work! Now

we can go home!"

"This isn't right! My blast wasn't strong enough to

vaporize that adamantium."

"Very good. You aren't as stupid as you look." Cell

stood behind Phil. He had placed a hand on his

stomach to keep his intestines from flopping out while

his healing factor and nanobots scrambled to undo the

damage. "That really hurt. You caught me by

surprise; so much for your stupid rules." Cell's body

was engulfed in a dull yellow glow. Phil activated

his lightsaber. "That toy can't hurt me. Put it

away."

Phil ignored Cell's taunting. He thought, "Man, do I

hurt. I can't take the time for a senzu bean, or else

he'll be all over me. Think... Think, damn you!"

Phil summoned another Chi ball. This one glowed a

black color, and red colored electricity traced along

it. "Dragon Blast!" The Chi ball was converted into

a bolt of black energy that flew out at Cell. The

composite warrior simply deflected the blow. It flew

into a nearby hill and exploded, spraying everybody

with thick loam.

"And what was that supposed to do? That was the

weakest attack you've thrown at me all day."

"It made a wonderful distraction, doesn't it?" Phil

caught Cell in the back of the head with a kick. Cell

didn't even seem to notice the strike. "Rapid-fire

Kamehameha!" A barrage of laser bolts flew into the

back of Cell. The thick, beetle like wings were shorn

away by the energy, but Cell didn't even seem to

notice. The wings grew back moments later. Undaunted,

Phil continued. "Sweet Chestnuts Roasting on an Open

Fire!" Phil's hands moved with even greater speed,

and the cartilage connecting the metal coated bones in

Cell's back snapped and cracked. Again, no visible

effect. Now Phil was nervous. He backed off. "How

the hell did you do that?"

Cell smirked. "Give up yet? I'm far more powerful than you could

ever imagine."

"I'll fight till I drop!" That was when Phil had a

flash of insight. "Which is exactly what you want.

So that's why you've been on the defensive this whole

time. You can last longer in a pitched battle than I

can!"

"Give the man a cigar." Cell caught Phil in the face

with a strike from his tail, sending the Physics

Policeman flying. Phil flew towards the Spring of the

Drowned Girl. (Cue a drum roll).

"Time out! I'd like to use a lifeline!"

Very well. With that, Phil was able to alter his

path to avoid a fate worse than any he could imagine.

Remember Phil, that was your last lifeline.

"Yeah, yeah. Author no baka. Solar Flare!" While Cell was blinded,

Phil reappeared behind Cell. This time, he didn't

waste any time on ineffective Chi techniques. Phil's

symbiote produced some webbing and stuck it to the

back of Cell's head.

"What, you're going to pester me to death?"

Phil unclipped a sonic grenade and placed it on the

sticky webbing. "G'Bye." Phil quickly flew away.

Cell attempted to grab the grenade, but was unable to in time. He shrieked in pain as the symbiote writhed in agony. Phil nodded. "Now I just need to keep hitting his weak spots."

Ralph agreed. "Charmelion, Fire Blast!"

"Char!" (Righto, old sport. We'll give 'em 'ell,

wot wot!").

Ralph readied his own spell. "Fireball!"

The twin flame attacks struck the disoriented Cell.

Again, Cell's connection to the symbiote caused his

extreme agony. Phil reappeared next to Gohan. "All

we've managed to do is distract him. Time to take it

to the next level. Fusion Dance!"

The pair began a complicated series of movements.

After a bright flash of light, Ph'lan stood there,

with a smirk plastered on his face. The fused warrior

snarfed a senzu bean. "Time for round two, you ugly

green bastard."

"Oh, I'm so afraid. What do you want on your

tombstone?" Then Cell smacked his forehead. "Oh

yeah, that's right! When I absorb you, there won't be

enough left for a funeral! Silly me."

"Up yours." Ph'lan concentrated. For a few moments,

nothing happened. Then, chunks of debris lifted off

of the ground.

"What, the Mystical Powerup again? How predictable."

Ph'lan ignored the taunt. The air around Ph'lan

began to shimmer, and Ph'lan's eyes shifted from their usual green

to turquoise orbs that lacked any visible pupil.

Then, the air began to fill with electricity.

Finally, Ph'lan's hair shifted to yellow and grew

upwards. The various bits of rock began to fall from

the sky. "What? But the Mystical Powerup is far more

effective than the Super Saiyan state!"

"Yes, but it isn't compatible with my advanced Chi

technique. This is. Alright, enough stalling."

Ph'lan faded away, then reappeared to Cell's right.

Cell attempted to catch the fused warrior with a slice

from his adamantium claws, but they only passed

through his afterimage. A one-two punch combo caught

Cell in the gut. It sent him flying into a nearby

cursed pool. When Cell exited, Ph'lan had to laugh.

"OK, now for a cliffhanger."

End Part 28