Part 30
Revelations Chapter 1
By Bobcat
According to Sigmund Freud's theory of psychology, there are three parts of the human psyche: the ego, the superego and the id. The ego is our conscious mind. It thinks, makes decisions, and interacts with the outside world. The other parts are our subconscious. They operate behind the scenes, subtly guiding the ego. The superego is not present at birth; it is our internalized version of society's moral code. The id is the exact opposite; it is instinct and the source of our physical desires, be they a tuna sandwich with mayo, or to rip off the head of the clerk at the 7-11. The superego and id are constantly warring with each other, each attempting to suppress the other. Most people maintain a balance, restraining themselves for the most part, but indulging themselves in harmless ways.
In most universes, be they class M, C, T or F, the ego and superego are barriers that hold back the true potential of warriors. As Obi-Wan Kenobi said, "Let go your conscious self." This is true; one cannot be fighting with somebody, see them about to strike, and then think, "OK, he's about to stab me. If I move my sword to a forty seven degree angle, I can block it! Or, maybe it's forty thr...*ack!*" Thus, one relies on instinct and the potential that higher brain functions holds at bay. This applies not only to the Force, but to various Chi and manna fields. In three of the known variations of the Tenchi timeline, Tenchi finds his true potential in the heat of battle, unleashing the Lighthawk Wings or tapping the power of Jurai, when the situation is most hopeless. In all DBZ universes, Super Saiyans transform as a result of incredible emotional stress, which puts them in either a state of rage or of extreme apathy. However, in both of these circumstances, the user can regain the ego and superego after the initial transformation, thus allowing them to think and strategize.
Now, Phil was not the most emotionally stable person to begin with. He was, and still is, a man consumed by rage. This had begun when he had seen his father brutally murdered before his eyes. Recent events had made him even worse. The fact that he knew his future; to be GoChibi's nanny. His inability to beat Cell. Phil still couldn't believe it; with all of his power, Ralph had managed to beat Cell with just a bit of planning and a piece of standard issue equipment. Said battle had pushed him to the edge of collapse, and he felt as if his legs were made of lead. Fatigue tends to make people crabby. Then, to be hit by a water balloon full of cursed water, and he, or rather, she, was now cursed to become a curvaceous blue haired girl whenever he got wet. Factor in the influence of an alien symbiote that had a taste for spleens, egging her on in the back of her mind. And right before her was the perfect vent for her anger, and the one responsible for her curse; Ayeka, First Princess of Jurai.
All of these stimuli came together to not only brush aside Phil's ego and underdeveloped superego, but to completely blast them out of the water. As the Super Saiyan transformation swept across her, rebuilding her emotionally and physically, she had only two things affecting her actions; the id, and the alien symbiote. And both wanted to eat Ayeka's spleen, and perhaps her still-beating heart as a second course.
Ayeka backed away slowly, and concentrated. Her clothing shifted into her Juraian battle dress, and a swarm of wooden blocks filled the air. Each was about a foot long, and was a cylinder with a hexagonal face. She thought to herself, "There! Nothing can penetrate this shield!"
Phil was operating fully on instinct. She was unable to use her advanced Chi technique, since that required calm focus. She walked into the first shield and was forced to halt. She placed her hands up against the invisible wall. Ayeka smirked. "Don't bother, you idiot! I'm invincible with this shield!" She was disturbed when Phil didn't respond. She had always been involved in a war of words as much as pranks; but now, Phil just continued on. She was like a silent, golden haired specter of death. That thought brought Ayeka to a very frightening conclusion. "She means to kill me! Osaka! Kamodake! Help!"
Phil ignored the cylindrical guardians as they came into position on either side of her.
"Halt!"
"You shall not harm the princess!"
Phil sent a massive wave of Chi through her hands. Even though the attack had been directed away from them, Osaka and Kamodake were blown away like leaves in a hurricane. Ralph motioned with his hands. "I call upon the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak!" The red force field surrounded Ralph and his companions, and Ayeka's bodyguards bounced off of it.
Everybody else in the household had been asleep. Had been being the operative phrase, as a shockwave shook the house. Mr. Masaki, being unused to dealing with alien phenomenon, quickly ducked under a nearby desk, hoping that the earthquake would soon pass.
Tenchi sprang from his bed. Grabbing Tenchi-Ken, he ran out of his room. "I sure hope that Ayeka and Ryoko didn't get drunk again." He bolted down the hallway and reached the top of the stairs to see something he hadn't expected. Instead of seeing the Space Pirate and the Princess brawling with each other, he saw Ayeka, dressed in full battle garb, falling back before the onslaught of... a Super Saiyan!? "I thought those were just in Anime!" He leapt down and activated Tenchi-Ken. The blue blade contrasted with Phil's yellow aura. "Stop right there!"
The aforementioned Space Pirate phased partially through a nearby wall. She shook her fist and had an annoyed look on her face. "Would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to get my beauty sleep!" Looking out at the scene before her, she did a double take. "What the hell is that?"
Kione and Mihoshi, still in their pajamas, quickly exited their room, pistols drawn. "Mihoshi, we're under attack!"
The ditz cried. "Waaaaaaah! And I was having such a nice dream to!"
Ignoring her partner, Kione took stock of the situation. "The Princess is under attack! Lay down some suppressive fire!"
"What?"
"Shoot that girl with the yellow hair!"
"Oh. Why didn't you say so?"
Kione took the time to sweatdrop before opening fire. Phil ignored the high velocity bullets.
By this time, Phil had battered down all but one layer of Ayeka's defenses. The Princess was terrified. "Such power! He was only playing with me before! I've unleashed a sleeping giant!"
Phil summoned a Chi bolt, then cocked back her right arm, ready to throw it. That was when Omi and GoChibi tackled her. The future girls had both powered up, GoChibi to Super Saiyan, Omi with the Mystical Powerup. Omi grabbed her by the legs, while GoChibi attempted to restrain her arm. "Dad, stop it! I don't care what she's done to you! You can't do this!"
The symbiote whipped out, enveloping GoChibi's nose and mouth. The Saiyan attempted to extricate herself from it by slicing it off with her lightsaber. It separated the pseudopod from the main body, but the psychic connection was still intact. After a few moments, she blacked out. The pseudopod rejoined the symbiote a moment later.
Phil kicked out, catapulting Omi into a nearby credenza. The wood splintered and flew in all directions. Having removed the obstacles, Phil's Chi bolt battered down her opponent's last line of defense.
Tenchi leapt towards her. "Super Saiyan or not, I won't let you hurt her!" He slashed down, intending to remove her head. However, he found the blade was halted by an unseen energy. In fact, he found himself levitating several feet above the ground by the Force. "What?" Phil used the Force to fling him along the same route as Omi had taken. Omi had staggered to her feet, but was struck by Tenchi's flying form.
Ayeka assumed a ready position. "How dare you hurt my Tenchi!?" She flew forward at high speed and punched Phil in the stomach. She seemed utterly unfazed by the attack.
Ryoko, seeing her true love thrown aside, entered the fray. Yelling an inarticulate battle cry, she slashed down at Phil with her own energy sword. Phil faded away, then reappeared behind the Space Pirate. The double fisted blow that caught her in the back of the head a moment later sent her face first into the floor. Her entire body ached. Before unconsciousness claimed her, she said, "H-how? I didn't... even see... her move..."
Ayeka launched another attack. With a speed that would have put several of the weaker Z fighters to shame, she lashed out with a complicated series of kicks and punches. Phil blocked each one with practiced ease. Ayeka floated back. She was absolutely terrified. The battle gear was designed to give her greater freedom of movement, and the insulated clothing improved the efficiency with which she could gather and use energy. In short, she was at her peak, but Phil seemed to ignore her best attacks.
She lashed out with a blast of energy, but Phil deflected it with a casual backhand. The purple beam of energy flew through the wall and exploded in the center of the lake, sending a massive column of water into the air. Then, the female Super Saiyan disappeared, then re-emerged behind her. Phil grabbed her roughly by the shoulder, and then spun her about. Faster than the human eye could see, Phil's fist embedded itself in Ayeka's gut. A stream of saliva exited her mouth, then she folded over Phil's hand. The Super Saiyan let her fall, and she hit the floor with a loud thud.
By this time, Omi had recovered. She attacked Phil head on, catching her father across the face with a nasty right hook. This attack sent Phil flying out the window and into the lake. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Then, the water began to glow yellow, then flew out in all directions. Phil floated up, surrounded by an even more intense yellow aura. Omi was somewhat relieved to see that Phil's rage was the source of the new power, as opposed to going to Super Saiyan level two.
Ayeka lay on the ground, completely stunned. Phil's blow hadn't rendered her unconscious, but had knocked the wind out of her. In fact, she couldn't move at all. Her limbs protested with white hot pain whenever she attempted to move. A single tear ran down her cheek. She thought, "What have I done? I've doomed us all!"
By now, Phil and Omi were engaged in an aerial battle. To Omi's surprise, her father was matching her, even without his improved technique. "It must be her symbiote. It and her rage are giving her enough of a boost to do this!" Although she was reluctant to injure her father, she unleashed her full potential. A kick to the gut staggered Phil for a moment.
Phil glared at her. Her mind was no longer capable of rational thought. She didn't even really think in words at this point. To translate her instinctual impulses, her thoughts ran along these lines: Girl hurt me. Girl try to stop me from killing Purple Hair. She enemy. Kill enemy. Eat enemy's spleen.
With these "thoughts" echoing through her head, Phil struck Omi across the face with a left hook, the fired a powerful Chi bolt into the young girl. The yellow energy blast sent her flying. Instead of dissipating, the attack continued with her, up into the heavens. Omi kept taking more damage, and would manage to escape the blast before it left the atmosphere. But just barely.
Tenchi shook his head, attempting to clear the cobwebs. He spat, and saw that his saliva had a red tinge. He shuddered. "Damn! Super Saiyans are just as strong as they're made out to be!" But he saw Ayeka lying there, utterly helpless. "But I can't abandon her!" Phil flew in through the gigantic hole in the wall, and floated above Ayeka. "Stop right there!" He ran towards Phil, readying Tenchi-ken to slice into her. Again, the Juraian Prince was knocked back. "Can't... give... up!" Getting back to his feet, he raced in.
In the back of Phil's mind, some kind of warning alarm was going off. Some small section of his ego said that they needed to finish off the boy, because he was dangerous. Another part said that they couldn't kill Tenchi, but this rebellion of thought was quickly extinguished. Phil raised her hand so that her outstretched palm pointed at Tenchi. A yellow ball of energy was summoned.
Ecks was looking at Phil through her Scouter, and was dismayed by what she saw. "She's way too strong for Tenchi! We have to stop her!"
Ralph was incredibly frustrated. "With what? We can't just erase our commanding officer's memory. I've tried to attack Phil's mind with the Force, but she's in such a savage state that I can't get a fix on her. She's barely containing her power as it is; the Reality Checker wouldn't dissipate the Chi, it would simply make it so that she couldn't control the energy. Then we'd all die in the resulting explosion. She's too strong to attack directly, and both of our heavy hitters are out of it. Any direct attack we performed would just make her mad!" He began to focus his manna, ready to launch an attack when the moment was right.
Phil's energy blast flew towards Tenchi. In a reaction similar to what had just happened to Phil, Tenchi's Ego and Superego took a vacation. There was a bright flash of light. When Ralph could stand to look again, he was quite surprised to see that Tenchi hadn't been vaporized. In fact, Ralph looked in awe and surprise. Three blades of energy, arrayed in a Y shape, floated before Tenchi. "The Lighthawk Wings!" Then Ralph looked up and saw Kione, still futilely firing her advanced pistol at Phil. "But wait just a second here... Kione and the Lighthawk Wings don't exist in the same realities! This isn't right!"
Ecks had a flash of insight. "Who's to say that only one Tenchi universe went into the making of FC-1?"
Ralph looked at her. "That's brilliant! How did you come up with it?"
"The author told me."
"Ah."
Phil flew in and began battering energy blades with her fists. Unlike Ayeka's force field, the Lighthawk wings proved to be quite unyielding. After several moments, an idea penetrated her mental fog. She disappeared, then reappeared behind Tenchi and caught him in the back of the head with an uppercut. The young warrior fell to the ground unconscious.
Ralph cursed. "Damn! You can't get through the Lighthawk Wings, but they can only cover one direction at a time!" Phil prepared to administer the coup de grace, in the form of a powerful Chi bolt. Ralph decided that there was only one thing left to do. "Fireball!" A ball of flame flew out and hit Phil's symbiote. Both human and alien cried out in pain. Then, they turned around.
Phil glared at Ralph. Brownrobe attacked me. Stop me from killing. Brownrobe enemy. Kill enemy.
Ralph threw a pair of Pokeballs. "Golbat, Charmelion, I choose you!" Ralph pointed at Phil. "Golbat, Supersonic!"
The bat-like Pokemon screeched. Phil's symbiote began to lash out randomly, going into convulsions as the waves of high frequency sound battered it. "So far, so good. Charmelion, Fire Blast!" Ralph readied another spell. "Fireball!"
"I can't win this way." He sighed, collecting more energy. "By the Hammer of Thor, And the Eye of Odin..."
Golbat continued its sonic assault, and the pair of fire attacks struck Phil. Finally, the symbiote could take no more and simply fell unconscious. Only Phil's rage let him avoid the same fate.
"Lend me the strength of the collectors of fallen warriors." Ralph was now surrounded by a yellow aura almost as vibrant as Phil's.
Golbat's supersonic was now merely an annoying buzzing to Phil. She summoned a Dragon Blast that sent Golbat flying, then caught Charmelion with a punch.
Ralph recalled both Pokemon. "Valkyrie Beam!" The yellow energy beam assumed the shape of a horse and rider and hit Phil head on.
There is a simple fact of various energy fields; resistance to Chi attacks doesn't transfer over to Manna based assaults. So, Phil was knocked unconscious. Her hair went from yellow to blue, and she became much less muscular. Ralph quickly ran in and activated the Reality Checker in Phil's back pocket. "C'mon Ecks! Everybody's going to need medical attention!"
* * *
For a few moments, Phil only knew one thing and one thing only; pain. Her head hurt. Her arms hurt. Anything that actually had pain receptors hurt, and she thought that her hair felt a little sore. After the Super Saiyan transformation had worn off, the fatigue she had been feeling, compounded by the most recent battle, had come back with a vengeance. Then, Phil remembered. It was hazy, as it was only some vague recollections from her subconscious, which isn't known for keeping details with any precision. She remembered the power, the anger, and a few highlights from the battle. She was confused. "How could I do that? I hurt everybody I cared about, Omi, GoChibi; and almost Ralph! And I still didn't manage to kill Ayeka! Damn!"
Phil jerked upright, realizing that she had been in a homicidal rage. "What? Where am I?"
Washuu was standing over her. "Well, hello there sleeping beauty. Nice to see that you finally woke up. For your first question, you're incredibly lucky that you aren't being loaded onto a Juraian prison transport right about now. For your second, you just woke up after a session in one of my Cellular Regeneration Chambers. You took a little longer than the others."
"What happened?"
"I recorded the whole thing, and I'll be glad to play it back for you. But first, you owe some people an apology."
Phil thought that something felt off. She had been into the lab on several occasions, but for some reason, everything seemed slightly taller. Then, she felt an odd wobbly sensation on her chest, and remembered what had happened. "Uh, Washuu, would you happen to have any hot water?"
"No time for that." She grabbed her arm and dragged her up the stairs and into the family room. There, the various members of the Masaki household, plus SU5 and the girls from the future, were sitting around chatting. Then they saw Phil. All conversation ceased, and those involved in the altercation glared at Phil. Washuu grinned. "Hey look everyone, it's Phil!" She activated a tiny recording drone that was hidden in a photograph over the fireplace.
She smirked. "This could be fun."
Ayeka glared at Phil. "How dare you assault the Princess of Jurai?"
Phil's stare returned the venom threefold. "How dare I? You gave me a bloody Jusenkyo curse!"
Tenchi was confused. "Phil? But I thought that Phil was a guy!"
Ralph fielded that question. "Not at the moment, thanks to Princess idiot over here."
"You shall address me as your Royal Highness!"
"Shut up, bitch." Phil's hair turned a bright yellow, and she activated her lightsaber. The energy blade was the same color as the aura. This time, however, her ego remained. And she realized what had happened. "What!? A Super Saiyan? How did I do that?"
Ralph shrugged. "We were hoping that you could tell us. You never mentioned that you were a Saiyan."
"I am not a Saiyan! I hate Saiyans! They're all alike; either completely oblivious, or battle hungry egomaniacs!"
"Well, you fit the second category."
Phil nodded. "I suppose you're right. However, there's one major difference between me and them."
"And that would be?"
"I make this look good."
Mr. Masaki nodded. "I can't argue with that!" He eyed the neo-girl hungrily.
"Back off or I will eat your still-beating heart."
"Yes sir."
Washuu coughed. "Now, weren't you going to apologize?"
"Why do you care?"
"I like to make people do things that they'd rather not."
"Like your insistence that Ryoko address you as Mom?"
"Exactly. Now do it."
Phil shrugged. "Actually, I do feel kind of bad about what I did back there. Ralph? I'm sorry I beat up your Pokemon. Omi, I'd like to apologize for blasting you into the stratosphere. GoChibi, I'm sorry that my symbiote tried to suffocate you. Tenchi, Ryoko, I'm sorry that I knocked you out. Kione, Mihoshi, I'm sorry that I made you waste all of those bullets." She considered for a moment. "Yeah, that should cover everyone."
"Excuse me!"
"Oops, forgot Ayeka. Princess, I'm sorry that I didn't manage to kill you."
"What?"
Phil smirked. "You're lucky. I usually don't leave things half done." Phil activated her wristwatch. "Jack, this is Phil. Transport for two, please."
"Roger." A red and white wormhole opened up in the Masaki's living room.
"C'mon Ralph. We have some research to do."
* * *
Phil, who had finally managed to get his hands on some hot water, was rooting around in his closet. Ralph was leafing through a journal. The Jedi looked at his companion. "So, Phil, what exactly are you looking for?"
"My Dad's goodbye holographic message."
"His what?"
"You know. In every Sci-Fi universe, the main character's dad always records some kind of farewell message, for in the event that they die before they fell like telling the son themselves. Which, coincidently, they always do." He went back to his rummaging.
"Ah." Ralph scanned the journal, but it didn't look like it would have anything of interest. No secret data, no keys, no passcodes to unlock any secret room. Nothing except a day by day account of his life. Ralph chuckled. "Well Phil, it looks like you had a bed wetting problem."
Phil's aura flared. "What!?"
Ralph began reading. "December 19: Well, Phil wet his bed again. I still say that by age 7, he should be beyond that kind of thing..."
Phil snatched away the book. "How's about you look for the lost hologram, while I read the secret journal?"
"Whatever you say." Ralph went in and hit his head on a hard object. "Ouch! Hey, what is this?" Phil had bypassed a small, round metallic device. "Heads up, Phil."
Phil snorted. "It's just one of my old toys." He sighed. "I spent many a happy hour playing with my first hologram recorder..." Phil's brain put two and two together. After solving this simple matter, it realized that his father must have recorded his message upon that child's toy. He pressed the play button.
As opposed to an image of his dead father, there was a woman who had cinnamon buns for hair. "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope."
Phil snorted. "What a waste of time."
The woman's image was erased. "Passcode accepted. Beginning Retinal Scan." A red light flashed out across Phil's eyes. "User identified: Phil. Access Granted."
Another image appeared in the center of the hologram projector. This one was, in fact, a record of a man that bore a close resemblance to Phil. "Dad!"
"Hello, Son. If you're seeing this, then you either got impatient while looking through your old things, or else I'm dead. Or, perhaps both. In the latter two cases, I want to apologize for never being able to tell you this while I was alive, due to several levels of classification."
"You probably sought out this recording after transforming to the Super Saiyan level or setting foot on Jurai's surface. Either way, this message will forever shape the way that you think about yourself. Through your veins flows the blood of great warriors such as Beowulf, Arthur Pendragon, Sir Lancelot, Sir Robin of Loxley, AKA Robin Hood, and countless others."
"Ages ago, the Physics Police left their home dimension, fleeing the invaders from beyond. Upon arriving here, their entire worldview changed. That had always known that there were alternate dimensions, but the alien technology they found drove home two important facts; the sheer size of the multiverse, and its vulnerability. For eons, Chaos had been gaining upon order, and reality would have collapsed in a few million years. Thus, they decided to crusade for others, not only to ensure what had happened to them would never be repeated, but to safeguard all of life as we know it."
"The new technology they found gave our fledgling order a better chance of survival. However, they quickly discovered that there were beings out there that had greater physical strength than any normal human. They decided that, in order to preserve themselves, they would have to harness these abilities for themselves. Thus, they began recruiting amongst these powerful races. Those that weren't genetically compatible with humans became valued friends and allies. For those that were, their DNA found its way into our eugenics program, either through controlled breeding or birth in artificial wombs. This program had one goal, and one alone; to create the ultimate warrior."
"Founded nearly three thousand years ago, our line is the only that has maintained its original size. This is due mainly to an infusion of Saiyan DNA that occurred nearly three hundred years ago, and a Juraian noble named Ayeka who joined our force before that. Before you overreact, she wasn't the same Ayeka as is found in those comics of yours. Simply her namesake."
Phil breathed a sigh of relief. "That was a close one."
"Now that you know the truth of your origins, I hope that you live in a matter that honors our noble ancestors."
Ralph chortled. "Ha! He don't know you very well, do he?"
"Goodbye, Son." The image faded away. Phil dropped the device.
"I.. can't believe it. I'm a Saiyan... and a Juraian? I hate my life."
Ralph nodded. "Cool, huh?"
Phil's hair turned yellow as his anger found an outlet. "Cool? Cool? Do you know what this means? I'm related to Ayeka! I'm descended from muscle-bound idiots like Goku and Vegeta! What's cool about that?"
Ralph was getting nervous. He thought, "I can't let him go postal like he did before." He said, "Look on the bright side. You're the ultimate warrior. Or, at least, as close as they've come."
Phil's hair reverted to its normal brown. "You have a point there." Phil's watch beeped. "Cool! Lunchtime! Sasami's making Tempura!" He quickly bolted out the door.
Ralph rolled his eyes. "Well, I definitely see the Saiyan heritage."
* *
Inbound for Pluto
Time: Roughly fifteen years into the future.
A fighter craft sailed through the empty void known as space. It closely resembled an X-Wing, except for a few minor differences. For one, instead of four moving wings, it had two fixed ones, with a distinct bend at the end of each. On the tip of each wing and over the cockpit rested a laser, while a proton torpedo launcher with a full magazine of sixteen rounds was mounted to the nose. The R7 droid that helped control the craft wasn't exposed, as in previous models; it was in a covered nook behind the cockpit. Although the craft boasted less firepower than the X-Wing that it was meant to replace, it possessed speed and maneuverability to match an Imperial TIE Interceptor, plus more shielding than any X-Wing.
In the E-Wing's cockpit, a feminine voice cackled. "Ha ha! Once I get through the Time Gates, Phil and his entourage are going to get a very big surprise. I guarantee it."
End Part 30
Who is this mysterious figure? Find out in the next installment of the Ballad of the Physics Police!
Revelations Chapter 1
By Bobcat
According to Sigmund Freud's theory of psychology, there are three parts of the human psyche: the ego, the superego and the id. The ego is our conscious mind. It thinks, makes decisions, and interacts with the outside world. The other parts are our subconscious. They operate behind the scenes, subtly guiding the ego. The superego is not present at birth; it is our internalized version of society's moral code. The id is the exact opposite; it is instinct and the source of our physical desires, be they a tuna sandwich with mayo, or to rip off the head of the clerk at the 7-11. The superego and id are constantly warring with each other, each attempting to suppress the other. Most people maintain a balance, restraining themselves for the most part, but indulging themselves in harmless ways.
In most universes, be they class M, C, T or F, the ego and superego are barriers that hold back the true potential of warriors. As Obi-Wan Kenobi said, "Let go your conscious self." This is true; one cannot be fighting with somebody, see them about to strike, and then think, "OK, he's about to stab me. If I move my sword to a forty seven degree angle, I can block it! Or, maybe it's forty thr...*ack!*" Thus, one relies on instinct and the potential that higher brain functions holds at bay. This applies not only to the Force, but to various Chi and manna fields. In three of the known variations of the Tenchi timeline, Tenchi finds his true potential in the heat of battle, unleashing the Lighthawk Wings or tapping the power of Jurai, when the situation is most hopeless. In all DBZ universes, Super Saiyans transform as a result of incredible emotional stress, which puts them in either a state of rage or of extreme apathy. However, in both of these circumstances, the user can regain the ego and superego after the initial transformation, thus allowing them to think and strategize.
Now, Phil was not the most emotionally stable person to begin with. He was, and still is, a man consumed by rage. This had begun when he had seen his father brutally murdered before his eyes. Recent events had made him even worse. The fact that he knew his future; to be GoChibi's nanny. His inability to beat Cell. Phil still couldn't believe it; with all of his power, Ralph had managed to beat Cell with just a bit of planning and a piece of standard issue equipment. Said battle had pushed him to the edge of collapse, and he felt as if his legs were made of lead. Fatigue tends to make people crabby. Then, to be hit by a water balloon full of cursed water, and he, or rather, she, was now cursed to become a curvaceous blue haired girl whenever he got wet. Factor in the influence of an alien symbiote that had a taste for spleens, egging her on in the back of her mind. And right before her was the perfect vent for her anger, and the one responsible for her curse; Ayeka, First Princess of Jurai.
All of these stimuli came together to not only brush aside Phil's ego and underdeveloped superego, but to completely blast them out of the water. As the Super Saiyan transformation swept across her, rebuilding her emotionally and physically, she had only two things affecting her actions; the id, and the alien symbiote. And both wanted to eat Ayeka's spleen, and perhaps her still-beating heart as a second course.
Ayeka backed away slowly, and concentrated. Her clothing shifted into her Juraian battle dress, and a swarm of wooden blocks filled the air. Each was about a foot long, and was a cylinder with a hexagonal face. She thought to herself, "There! Nothing can penetrate this shield!"
Phil was operating fully on instinct. She was unable to use her advanced Chi technique, since that required calm focus. She walked into the first shield and was forced to halt. She placed her hands up against the invisible wall. Ayeka smirked. "Don't bother, you idiot! I'm invincible with this shield!" She was disturbed when Phil didn't respond. She had always been involved in a war of words as much as pranks; but now, Phil just continued on. She was like a silent, golden haired specter of death. That thought brought Ayeka to a very frightening conclusion. "She means to kill me! Osaka! Kamodake! Help!"
Phil ignored the cylindrical guardians as they came into position on either side of her.
"Halt!"
"You shall not harm the princess!"
Phil sent a massive wave of Chi through her hands. Even though the attack had been directed away from them, Osaka and Kamodake were blown away like leaves in a hurricane. Ralph motioned with his hands. "I call upon the Crimson Bands of Cyttorak!" The red force field surrounded Ralph and his companions, and Ayeka's bodyguards bounced off of it.
Everybody else in the household had been asleep. Had been being the operative phrase, as a shockwave shook the house. Mr. Masaki, being unused to dealing with alien phenomenon, quickly ducked under a nearby desk, hoping that the earthquake would soon pass.
Tenchi sprang from his bed. Grabbing Tenchi-Ken, he ran out of his room. "I sure hope that Ayeka and Ryoko didn't get drunk again." He bolted down the hallway and reached the top of the stairs to see something he hadn't expected. Instead of seeing the Space Pirate and the Princess brawling with each other, he saw Ayeka, dressed in full battle garb, falling back before the onslaught of... a Super Saiyan!? "I thought those were just in Anime!" He leapt down and activated Tenchi-Ken. The blue blade contrasted with Phil's yellow aura. "Stop right there!"
The aforementioned Space Pirate phased partially through a nearby wall. She shook her fist and had an annoyed look on her face. "Would you mind keeping it down? I'm trying to get my beauty sleep!" Looking out at the scene before her, she did a double take. "What the hell is that?"
Kione and Mihoshi, still in their pajamas, quickly exited their room, pistols drawn. "Mihoshi, we're under attack!"
The ditz cried. "Waaaaaaah! And I was having such a nice dream to!"
Ignoring her partner, Kione took stock of the situation. "The Princess is under attack! Lay down some suppressive fire!"
"What?"
"Shoot that girl with the yellow hair!"
"Oh. Why didn't you say so?"
Kione took the time to sweatdrop before opening fire. Phil ignored the high velocity bullets.
By this time, Phil had battered down all but one layer of Ayeka's defenses. The Princess was terrified. "Such power! He was only playing with me before! I've unleashed a sleeping giant!"
Phil summoned a Chi bolt, then cocked back her right arm, ready to throw it. That was when Omi and GoChibi tackled her. The future girls had both powered up, GoChibi to Super Saiyan, Omi with the Mystical Powerup. Omi grabbed her by the legs, while GoChibi attempted to restrain her arm. "Dad, stop it! I don't care what she's done to you! You can't do this!"
The symbiote whipped out, enveloping GoChibi's nose and mouth. The Saiyan attempted to extricate herself from it by slicing it off with her lightsaber. It separated the pseudopod from the main body, but the psychic connection was still intact. After a few moments, she blacked out. The pseudopod rejoined the symbiote a moment later.
Phil kicked out, catapulting Omi into a nearby credenza. The wood splintered and flew in all directions. Having removed the obstacles, Phil's Chi bolt battered down her opponent's last line of defense.
Tenchi leapt towards her. "Super Saiyan or not, I won't let you hurt her!" He slashed down, intending to remove her head. However, he found the blade was halted by an unseen energy. In fact, he found himself levitating several feet above the ground by the Force. "What?" Phil used the Force to fling him along the same route as Omi had taken. Omi had staggered to her feet, but was struck by Tenchi's flying form.
Ayeka assumed a ready position. "How dare you hurt my Tenchi!?" She flew forward at high speed and punched Phil in the stomach. She seemed utterly unfazed by the attack.
Ryoko, seeing her true love thrown aside, entered the fray. Yelling an inarticulate battle cry, she slashed down at Phil with her own energy sword. Phil faded away, then reappeared behind the Space Pirate. The double fisted blow that caught her in the back of the head a moment later sent her face first into the floor. Her entire body ached. Before unconsciousness claimed her, she said, "H-how? I didn't... even see... her move..."
Ayeka launched another attack. With a speed that would have put several of the weaker Z fighters to shame, she lashed out with a complicated series of kicks and punches. Phil blocked each one with practiced ease. Ayeka floated back. She was absolutely terrified. The battle gear was designed to give her greater freedom of movement, and the insulated clothing improved the efficiency with which she could gather and use energy. In short, she was at her peak, but Phil seemed to ignore her best attacks.
She lashed out with a blast of energy, but Phil deflected it with a casual backhand. The purple beam of energy flew through the wall and exploded in the center of the lake, sending a massive column of water into the air. Then, the female Super Saiyan disappeared, then re-emerged behind her. Phil grabbed her roughly by the shoulder, and then spun her about. Faster than the human eye could see, Phil's fist embedded itself in Ayeka's gut. A stream of saliva exited her mouth, then she folded over Phil's hand. The Super Saiyan let her fall, and she hit the floor with a loud thud.
By this time, Omi had recovered. She attacked Phil head on, catching her father across the face with a nasty right hook. This attack sent Phil flying out the window and into the lake. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Then, the water began to glow yellow, then flew out in all directions. Phil floated up, surrounded by an even more intense yellow aura. Omi was somewhat relieved to see that Phil's rage was the source of the new power, as opposed to going to Super Saiyan level two.
Ayeka lay on the ground, completely stunned. Phil's blow hadn't rendered her unconscious, but had knocked the wind out of her. In fact, she couldn't move at all. Her limbs protested with white hot pain whenever she attempted to move. A single tear ran down her cheek. She thought, "What have I done? I've doomed us all!"
By now, Phil and Omi were engaged in an aerial battle. To Omi's surprise, her father was matching her, even without his improved technique. "It must be her symbiote. It and her rage are giving her enough of a boost to do this!" Although she was reluctant to injure her father, she unleashed her full potential. A kick to the gut staggered Phil for a moment.
Phil glared at her. Her mind was no longer capable of rational thought. She didn't even really think in words at this point. To translate her instinctual impulses, her thoughts ran along these lines: Girl hurt me. Girl try to stop me from killing Purple Hair. She enemy. Kill enemy. Eat enemy's spleen.
With these "thoughts" echoing through her head, Phil struck Omi across the face with a left hook, the fired a powerful Chi bolt into the young girl. The yellow energy blast sent her flying. Instead of dissipating, the attack continued with her, up into the heavens. Omi kept taking more damage, and would manage to escape the blast before it left the atmosphere. But just barely.
Tenchi shook his head, attempting to clear the cobwebs. He spat, and saw that his saliva had a red tinge. He shuddered. "Damn! Super Saiyans are just as strong as they're made out to be!" But he saw Ayeka lying there, utterly helpless. "But I can't abandon her!" Phil flew in through the gigantic hole in the wall, and floated above Ayeka. "Stop right there!" He ran towards Phil, readying Tenchi-ken to slice into her. Again, the Juraian Prince was knocked back. "Can't... give... up!" Getting back to his feet, he raced in.
In the back of Phil's mind, some kind of warning alarm was going off. Some small section of his ego said that they needed to finish off the boy, because he was dangerous. Another part said that they couldn't kill Tenchi, but this rebellion of thought was quickly extinguished. Phil raised her hand so that her outstretched palm pointed at Tenchi. A yellow ball of energy was summoned.
Ecks was looking at Phil through her Scouter, and was dismayed by what she saw. "She's way too strong for Tenchi! We have to stop her!"
Ralph was incredibly frustrated. "With what? We can't just erase our commanding officer's memory. I've tried to attack Phil's mind with the Force, but she's in such a savage state that I can't get a fix on her. She's barely containing her power as it is; the Reality Checker wouldn't dissipate the Chi, it would simply make it so that she couldn't control the energy. Then we'd all die in the resulting explosion. She's too strong to attack directly, and both of our heavy hitters are out of it. Any direct attack we performed would just make her mad!" He began to focus his manna, ready to launch an attack when the moment was right.
Phil's energy blast flew towards Tenchi. In a reaction similar to what had just happened to Phil, Tenchi's Ego and Superego took a vacation. There was a bright flash of light. When Ralph could stand to look again, he was quite surprised to see that Tenchi hadn't been vaporized. In fact, Ralph looked in awe and surprise. Three blades of energy, arrayed in a Y shape, floated before Tenchi. "The Lighthawk Wings!" Then Ralph looked up and saw Kione, still futilely firing her advanced pistol at Phil. "But wait just a second here... Kione and the Lighthawk Wings don't exist in the same realities! This isn't right!"
Ecks had a flash of insight. "Who's to say that only one Tenchi universe went into the making of FC-1?"
Ralph looked at her. "That's brilliant! How did you come up with it?"
"The author told me."
"Ah."
Phil flew in and began battering energy blades with her fists. Unlike Ayeka's force field, the Lighthawk wings proved to be quite unyielding. After several moments, an idea penetrated her mental fog. She disappeared, then reappeared behind Tenchi and caught him in the back of the head with an uppercut. The young warrior fell to the ground unconscious.
Ralph cursed. "Damn! You can't get through the Lighthawk Wings, but they can only cover one direction at a time!" Phil prepared to administer the coup de grace, in the form of a powerful Chi bolt. Ralph decided that there was only one thing left to do. "Fireball!" A ball of flame flew out and hit Phil's symbiote. Both human and alien cried out in pain. Then, they turned around.
Phil glared at Ralph. Brownrobe attacked me. Stop me from killing. Brownrobe enemy. Kill enemy.
Ralph threw a pair of Pokeballs. "Golbat, Charmelion, I choose you!" Ralph pointed at Phil. "Golbat, Supersonic!"
The bat-like Pokemon screeched. Phil's symbiote began to lash out randomly, going into convulsions as the waves of high frequency sound battered it. "So far, so good. Charmelion, Fire Blast!" Ralph readied another spell. "Fireball!"
"I can't win this way." He sighed, collecting more energy. "By the Hammer of Thor, And the Eye of Odin..."
Golbat continued its sonic assault, and the pair of fire attacks struck Phil. Finally, the symbiote could take no more and simply fell unconscious. Only Phil's rage let him avoid the same fate.
"Lend me the strength of the collectors of fallen warriors." Ralph was now surrounded by a yellow aura almost as vibrant as Phil's.
Golbat's supersonic was now merely an annoying buzzing to Phil. She summoned a Dragon Blast that sent Golbat flying, then caught Charmelion with a punch.
Ralph recalled both Pokemon. "Valkyrie Beam!" The yellow energy beam assumed the shape of a horse and rider and hit Phil head on.
There is a simple fact of various energy fields; resistance to Chi attacks doesn't transfer over to Manna based assaults. So, Phil was knocked unconscious. Her hair went from yellow to blue, and she became much less muscular. Ralph quickly ran in and activated the Reality Checker in Phil's back pocket. "C'mon Ecks! Everybody's going to need medical attention!"
* * *
For a few moments, Phil only knew one thing and one thing only; pain. Her head hurt. Her arms hurt. Anything that actually had pain receptors hurt, and she thought that her hair felt a little sore. After the Super Saiyan transformation had worn off, the fatigue she had been feeling, compounded by the most recent battle, had come back with a vengeance. Then, Phil remembered. It was hazy, as it was only some vague recollections from her subconscious, which isn't known for keeping details with any precision. She remembered the power, the anger, and a few highlights from the battle. She was confused. "How could I do that? I hurt everybody I cared about, Omi, GoChibi; and almost Ralph! And I still didn't manage to kill Ayeka! Damn!"
Phil jerked upright, realizing that she had been in a homicidal rage. "What? Where am I?"
Washuu was standing over her. "Well, hello there sleeping beauty. Nice to see that you finally woke up. For your first question, you're incredibly lucky that you aren't being loaded onto a Juraian prison transport right about now. For your second, you just woke up after a session in one of my Cellular Regeneration Chambers. You took a little longer than the others."
"What happened?"
"I recorded the whole thing, and I'll be glad to play it back for you. But first, you owe some people an apology."
Phil thought that something felt off. She had been into the lab on several occasions, but for some reason, everything seemed slightly taller. Then, she felt an odd wobbly sensation on her chest, and remembered what had happened. "Uh, Washuu, would you happen to have any hot water?"
"No time for that." She grabbed her arm and dragged her up the stairs and into the family room. There, the various members of the Masaki household, plus SU5 and the girls from the future, were sitting around chatting. Then they saw Phil. All conversation ceased, and those involved in the altercation glared at Phil. Washuu grinned. "Hey look everyone, it's Phil!" She activated a tiny recording drone that was hidden in a photograph over the fireplace.
She smirked. "This could be fun."
Ayeka glared at Phil. "How dare you assault the Princess of Jurai?"
Phil's stare returned the venom threefold. "How dare I? You gave me a bloody Jusenkyo curse!"
Tenchi was confused. "Phil? But I thought that Phil was a guy!"
Ralph fielded that question. "Not at the moment, thanks to Princess idiot over here."
"You shall address me as your Royal Highness!"
"Shut up, bitch." Phil's hair turned a bright yellow, and she activated her lightsaber. The energy blade was the same color as the aura. This time, however, her ego remained. And she realized what had happened. "What!? A Super Saiyan? How did I do that?"
Ralph shrugged. "We were hoping that you could tell us. You never mentioned that you were a Saiyan."
"I am not a Saiyan! I hate Saiyans! They're all alike; either completely oblivious, or battle hungry egomaniacs!"
"Well, you fit the second category."
Phil nodded. "I suppose you're right. However, there's one major difference between me and them."
"And that would be?"
"I make this look good."
Mr. Masaki nodded. "I can't argue with that!" He eyed the neo-girl hungrily.
"Back off or I will eat your still-beating heart."
"Yes sir."
Washuu coughed. "Now, weren't you going to apologize?"
"Why do you care?"
"I like to make people do things that they'd rather not."
"Like your insistence that Ryoko address you as Mom?"
"Exactly. Now do it."
Phil shrugged. "Actually, I do feel kind of bad about what I did back there. Ralph? I'm sorry I beat up your Pokemon. Omi, I'd like to apologize for blasting you into the stratosphere. GoChibi, I'm sorry that my symbiote tried to suffocate you. Tenchi, Ryoko, I'm sorry that I knocked you out. Kione, Mihoshi, I'm sorry that I made you waste all of those bullets." She considered for a moment. "Yeah, that should cover everyone."
"Excuse me!"
"Oops, forgot Ayeka. Princess, I'm sorry that I didn't manage to kill you."
"What?"
Phil smirked. "You're lucky. I usually don't leave things half done." Phil activated her wristwatch. "Jack, this is Phil. Transport for two, please."
"Roger." A red and white wormhole opened up in the Masaki's living room.
"C'mon Ralph. We have some research to do."
* * *
Phil, who had finally managed to get his hands on some hot water, was rooting around in his closet. Ralph was leafing through a journal. The Jedi looked at his companion. "So, Phil, what exactly are you looking for?"
"My Dad's goodbye holographic message."
"His what?"
"You know. In every Sci-Fi universe, the main character's dad always records some kind of farewell message, for in the event that they die before they fell like telling the son themselves. Which, coincidently, they always do." He went back to his rummaging.
"Ah." Ralph scanned the journal, but it didn't look like it would have anything of interest. No secret data, no keys, no passcodes to unlock any secret room. Nothing except a day by day account of his life. Ralph chuckled. "Well Phil, it looks like you had a bed wetting problem."
Phil's aura flared. "What!?"
Ralph began reading. "December 19: Well, Phil wet his bed again. I still say that by age 7, he should be beyond that kind of thing..."
Phil snatched away the book. "How's about you look for the lost hologram, while I read the secret journal?"
"Whatever you say." Ralph went in and hit his head on a hard object. "Ouch! Hey, what is this?" Phil had bypassed a small, round metallic device. "Heads up, Phil."
Phil snorted. "It's just one of my old toys." He sighed. "I spent many a happy hour playing with my first hologram recorder..." Phil's brain put two and two together. After solving this simple matter, it realized that his father must have recorded his message upon that child's toy. He pressed the play button.
As opposed to an image of his dead father, there was a woman who had cinnamon buns for hair. "Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi; you're my only hope."
Phil snorted. "What a waste of time."
The woman's image was erased. "Passcode accepted. Beginning Retinal Scan." A red light flashed out across Phil's eyes. "User identified: Phil. Access Granted."
Another image appeared in the center of the hologram projector. This one was, in fact, a record of a man that bore a close resemblance to Phil. "Dad!"
"Hello, Son. If you're seeing this, then you either got impatient while looking through your old things, or else I'm dead. Or, perhaps both. In the latter two cases, I want to apologize for never being able to tell you this while I was alive, due to several levels of classification."
"You probably sought out this recording after transforming to the Super Saiyan level or setting foot on Jurai's surface. Either way, this message will forever shape the way that you think about yourself. Through your veins flows the blood of great warriors such as Beowulf, Arthur Pendragon, Sir Lancelot, Sir Robin of Loxley, AKA Robin Hood, and countless others."
"Ages ago, the Physics Police left their home dimension, fleeing the invaders from beyond. Upon arriving here, their entire worldview changed. That had always known that there were alternate dimensions, but the alien technology they found drove home two important facts; the sheer size of the multiverse, and its vulnerability. For eons, Chaos had been gaining upon order, and reality would have collapsed in a few million years. Thus, they decided to crusade for others, not only to ensure what had happened to them would never be repeated, but to safeguard all of life as we know it."
"The new technology they found gave our fledgling order a better chance of survival. However, they quickly discovered that there were beings out there that had greater physical strength than any normal human. They decided that, in order to preserve themselves, they would have to harness these abilities for themselves. Thus, they began recruiting amongst these powerful races. Those that weren't genetically compatible with humans became valued friends and allies. For those that were, their DNA found its way into our eugenics program, either through controlled breeding or birth in artificial wombs. This program had one goal, and one alone; to create the ultimate warrior."
"Founded nearly three thousand years ago, our line is the only that has maintained its original size. This is due mainly to an infusion of Saiyan DNA that occurred nearly three hundred years ago, and a Juraian noble named Ayeka who joined our force before that. Before you overreact, she wasn't the same Ayeka as is found in those comics of yours. Simply her namesake."
Phil breathed a sigh of relief. "That was a close one."
"Now that you know the truth of your origins, I hope that you live in a matter that honors our noble ancestors."
Ralph chortled. "Ha! He don't know you very well, do he?"
"Goodbye, Son." The image faded away. Phil dropped the device.
"I.. can't believe it. I'm a Saiyan... and a Juraian? I hate my life."
Ralph nodded. "Cool, huh?"
Phil's hair turned yellow as his anger found an outlet. "Cool? Cool? Do you know what this means? I'm related to Ayeka! I'm descended from muscle-bound idiots like Goku and Vegeta! What's cool about that?"
Ralph was getting nervous. He thought, "I can't let him go postal like he did before." He said, "Look on the bright side. You're the ultimate warrior. Or, at least, as close as they've come."
Phil's hair reverted to its normal brown. "You have a point there." Phil's watch beeped. "Cool! Lunchtime! Sasami's making Tempura!" He quickly bolted out the door.
Ralph rolled his eyes. "Well, I definitely see the Saiyan heritage."
* *
Inbound for Pluto
Time: Roughly fifteen years into the future.
A fighter craft sailed through the empty void known as space. It closely resembled an X-Wing, except for a few minor differences. For one, instead of four moving wings, it had two fixed ones, with a distinct bend at the end of each. On the tip of each wing and over the cockpit rested a laser, while a proton torpedo launcher with a full magazine of sixteen rounds was mounted to the nose. The R7 droid that helped control the craft wasn't exposed, as in previous models; it was in a covered nook behind the cockpit. Although the craft boasted less firepower than the X-Wing that it was meant to replace, it possessed speed and maneuverability to match an Imperial TIE Interceptor, plus more shielding than any X-Wing.
In the E-Wing's cockpit, a feminine voice cackled. "Ha ha! Once I get through the Time Gates, Phil and his entourage are going to get a very big surprise. I guarantee it."
End Part 30
Who is this mysterious figure? Find out in the next installment of the Ballad of the Physics Police!
