"No!"
Jamie's eyes immediately snapped open as he heard the frantic shout from his wife. He turned over to see her sitting up next to him, with a hand on her chest, taking a few deep breaths. He sat up next to her and placed a comforting hand on her back.
"Was it the dream again?" he asked gently.
She only gave a small nod as a response. He nodded understandingly and pulled her close, pressing a small kiss to the side of her head.
"I'm okay," he said quietly, tightening his arms around her. "I'm still here with you. I'll always be here, Ed. It's okay."
It was almost three months after the shooting and Eddie was still having nightmares about it. They didn't occur often but when they did, they hit her hard. He didn't know about them initially until one night, he woke up to her almost having a panic attack next to him.
"Breathe," he said, running a hand up and down her back as he hugged her to him. "Please breathe, Ed."
"I'm trying..." she let out shakily.
The shooting had affected her harder than she had ever let on. She didn't tell him about the nightmares because she didn't want him worrying about her. But, as he told her that night, he wanted to know what she was thinking or feeling because he wanted to help her in whatever way he could.
"You okay?" he asked after a few minutes.
She nodded as she pulled away from him, "Yeah. I'm better now. Sorry for waking you up..."
"Don't apologize, babe," he chastised gently. "You don't need to be sorry."
"I just don't know why they keep happening," she responded with a hint of frustration in her voice. "You would think that I would be over it by now."
"Can I be honest with you about something?" he said.
She furrowed her brow at him, "Yeah. About what?"
"I still have dreams about when you got shot," he admitted.
"Really?"
"Mhmm. They don't happen often. The last time I had one was a few months ago. I think you and Badillo were working a string of midnight tours. I had a dream that I had gotten woken up with a call from Badillo saying that you had gotten hit and that you were on the way to the hospital. I immediately got dressed and made my way over there. Badillo met me in the waiting room and explained to me what had happened. Eerily enough, it had happened the exact same way it did when you actually got shot, even with falling down the stairs. I think that's what scared me the most, how similar it was. Then, the doctor came out and..."
Jamie suddenly stopped and shook his head. Eddie laid her head on his shoulder and rubbed circles on his back.
"What I'm trying to say is that even all these years later, I still have those dreams," he said. "But what helped me was just talking about it. I actually went and saw a therapist for a few sessions about it."
"You never told me about that," she replied, a little surprised.
"I didn't tell anyone. Not Dad, Pop, Erin, or Danny. I just wanted to keep it to myself and process it on my own. And if I'm being honest..." Jamie hesitated for a minute before continuing. "I think it would help you too."
There was a long moment of silence between the pair before Eddie finally responded.
"Honestly, I've been thinking about it too," she said quietly. "And I actually found someone. I told myself that if the dream happened again, then I would call them. I plan to do it first thing in the morning."
He let out a small sigh of relief and nodded. He decided not to press the subject any further and knew it could wait until the morning when they were both better rested.
Jamie laid back down and pulled her along with him. Then, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and closed his eyes. They both on the verge of sleep when Eddie spoke up again.
"Jamie?" she said.
"Hm?"
"I love you."
He smiled to himself and leaned his head against hers, "I love you too."
