Part 47
Whiplash
Written By BobCat (battle_cat_tech@yahoo.com, and now also at bobcat@dragonball-gt.zzn.com)
Edited By flaktrap (flaktrap@hotmail.com)
Proud members of the Fanfiction Author's Union (e-mail at fanfic_union@yahoo.com)
Disclaimer: All those who would contest BobCat's claim to all of the characters and concepts presented within this fanfiction, please speak now or forever hold your peace. (Scene change to a dark closet, in which several writers are bound and gagged. George Lucas and Akira Toriyama are in the foreground.) Nobody? All right then. (Ah, the benefits of union connections… oops, did I type that out loud?)
In downtown Tokyo, chaos reigned. Massive shockwaves hurled debris in all directions. Molten asphalt ran down the street in rivulets. Those fortunate few who had managed to avoid being crushed by flying cars or burned by what had been solid pavement scattered in all directions. Nobody was entirely sure where they were running to, but their adrenal glands were working overtime. All conscious thought was submerged by the fear and adrenaline, save one.
Cell has returned.
Ralph's unfortunate wish for all heroes and villains be brought back to life was finally seeing results.
For nearly a week, Perfect Cell had contented himself to observe and study the unusual circumstances of his return. He was not sure why the Eternal Dragon had returned him to life, but he had little desire to question a good thing. He was alive again, which was all that mattered, for the dead rarely are given a chance for vengeance. Impatience had finally gotten the better of him, and he was now rampaging in hope of drawing out that annoying brat who had killed him before.
Cell fired another Chi bolt into a gasoline truck that had somehow remained intact through the carnage. The driver, apparently forgetting the vehicle's contents, had decided to seek sanctuary in the truck's cabin. His error cost him his life, as the ball of life energy ignited the fuel and exploded. The massive conflagration consumed nearly a square block of commercial district, instantly incinerating the few survivors of Cell's initial attack. The fireball also passed over Cell, but he ignored it. What's taking those annoying Z warriors so long? I need to pay them back for what I suffered in HFIL… I mean hell. He cocked one arm back, summoned a ball of energy as large as himself and threw it into the air. At the apex of its trajectory, the ball came apart. Each section of the globe reshaped itself into an arrowhead shape and rained down upon a neighboring industrial sector. Cell was rewarded for his efforts by a massive explosion, partially fueled by a ruptured gas line.
Cell's face contorted into a frown. Obviously those Saiyans have decided upon the better part of valor. What do I need to do, vaporize Japan? Cell's face brightened slightly. That might not be such a bad idea, actually. Cell bent his right leg and shoved off from the ground. He levitated into the air, and then began to accelerate. He stopped roughly ten thousand feet above the ground.
He inhaled deeply. By deeply, that is in a manner that is anatomically impossible. His rib cage expanded, allowing his lungs to become as large, if not larger, than the rest of his body. Just when it seemed that he would explode, Cell released the air. In a voice audible in Siberia*, Cell screamed, "GOHAN! THIS IS CELL! IF YOU DO NOT REVEAL YOURSELF IMMEDIATELY, I'M GOING TO COMPLETELY ANNIHILATE JAPAN! YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES!"
His outburst finished, Cell's torso shrank back to its original size. He took a few deep breaths. Cell summoned a red ball of Chi, which he began to pump more and more energy into. It began to double and redouble in size, eventually dwarfing its creator.
So intent was Cell in his task that he nearly leapt out of his exoskeleton when he heard a voice behind him. "That's hardly necessary, Cell."
Cell stopped powering up his attack and spun about. He hadn't expected anybody to arrive this soon, much less… him. "Vegeta?"
It was indeed the self proclaimed Prince of all Saiyans. Dressed a nice navy blue Armani suit, with an embroidered tie of the same color. The shirt worn beneath the suit was worth more than many people earned in a week, and his tasteful black shoes were double that value. Cell raised an eyebrow. "Dressing for your funeral, I see. You're finally beginning to show some foresight, Vegeta."
Vegeta scowled. Not his normal, "I'm nobility so treat me like it, damn it," scowl, but instead a much harsher glare. Damn that woman! This is not attire fit for a warrior; it's tight and constricts my freedom of movement, possibly fatal in a battle! And it offers no protection against even the lightest weapons fire! His right hand darted up and furiously scratched a spot on his left arm for several seconds. And it itches! Truly, this Armani fellow was a master of torture. How do human males put up with this?
Earlier that day, Bulma had come to a startling realization; Vegeta had no "proper" clothes. This, of course, meant that a shopping expedition was in order. The Prince of Saiyans was very quick to challenge this theory, pointing to his large collection of Saiyan battle armor and that plaid shirt he'd worn when Freeza had come to Earth. The two had quickly begun an argument almost as loud as Cell's ultimatum.
Realizing that she had stalemated in her war of words, Bulma had quickly activated the number one weapon of women the world over: "The Look." The Look is a half-lidded semi-glare that somehow manages to communicate disappointment and extreme anger without diminishing the impact of either. Vegeta, under the power of the glare, realized that unless he acquiesced to his wife's demands, only further discord and strife would result, which could have all kinds of negative impacts upon young Trunks' psyche and the harmony of the household itself.
Also, he wouldn't be getting any nooky until the turn of the next century.
Thus had begun one of the most hellish experiences of his life. Hours upon hours of looking, trying on, putting back, comparison shopping, hounding from more sales personnel than Vegeta had known existed and all the noise, noise, noise noise!!!
Had there been a Shopping Day, Vegeta would have been the Grinch that Stole it.**
In the middle of trying on the itchy clothes that he was currently wearing, Vegeta had been overjoyed to see the mass destruction caused by Cell's rampage.
Seeing that Cell had gone back to charging up his energy ball, Vegeta realized that he had been introspective for too long. He coughed and attempted to recover from his slipup. "The only funeral this day shall be yours, Cell!" He shifted into a fighting stance, ready to counter any move that Cell made.
Turning away from the massive orb of destruction, Cell chuckled slightly. "I sincerely doubt it. The tortures I was forced to endure in HFI… I mean hell have increased my strength beyond even Gohan's." Cell crossed his arms and cried out. A blue aura of energy surrounded him, and all of the clouds within a mile's radius of the two fighters were swept away as if a gigantic hand had wanted to clear its view of the battle. The maelstrom whipped around Vegeta's hair, but he didn't budge an inch.
Vegeta chuckled. Then, the chuckling degenerated to laughter, which quickly became so intense that Vegeta was in serious danger of splitting his sides.
Cell smirked. The air crackled around him as he queried, "And what, pray tell, is so amusing?"
Vegeta managed to reign in his overabundance of good humor. He wiped a tear from his eye as he said, "What do you think that I've been doing all of these years? Playing tiddlywinks with Kakorot?" Vegeta transformed to Super Saiyan. The Armani suit strained to hold in his increased musculature.
Cell's eyes doubled in size as he felt Vegeta's power. "I may have made a slight miscalculation."
**********
As Soap began the difficult transition from sleep to the land of the living, little bits of information about her surroundings trickled in. First of all, there was a naked light bulb hanging from the ceiling. The bulb swung back and forth in a slow arch, playing with the shadows in the otherwise unlit room. Although she wasn't sure why, something seemed off. Her perception was being skewed somehow, and her mouth tasted like tar.
Soap blinked several times, finally clearing her vision enough to make out the fine details. There were two of them: a simple folding chair, and the Iron Golem that had beaten her earlier.
She made an attempt to break for it before the demonic figure noticed her, only to find that her arms and legs were bound together behind her back. Also, the bindings were attached to ceiling in the same manner as the light bulb. She thought aloud, "That explains why my vision was off…"
Or at least, that was what she meant to say. Instead what came out was "Mmm mmm mmmph mm mm mmm mmm mmm mpphh…" Only then did she notice that her mouth had been gagged by duct tape. So that's why my mouth tastes so funny…
Suddenly, a female voice began yelling at her. Soap couldn't understand a word of the harsh, monotonic language. The unseen voice waited a few moments. Then, she felt a hand latch onto her right leg. Before she could offer even a muffled protest, Soap was spun around. After turning one hundred and eighty degrees, another hand roughly grabbed her shoulder, halting the Amazon's lopsided motion.
Soap felt a brief wave of relief that it was another woman instead of a monster. The newcomer was a willowy woman. Her dirty-blonde tresses were tied off in a ponytail that reached the center of her back, although a few strands drifted about her face. Her figure was gaunt, almost boyish. The icy blue eyes conveyed a very simple message; "If you don't piss me off, I just might kill you last."
To her right was Boomer, who was holding a shock stick.
The woman spoke again in her own tongue, and judging by her terse tone she was swiftly growing impatient. Not wishing to infuriate the strange woman further, Soap attempted to use body language to explain that she couldn't understand. The lack of available limbs made this nigh impossible, and all she managed to do was set herself into a looping motion identical to the light bulb's. Her already unsettled stomach reacted violently, but Soap forced her insides under control. If I vomit with this gag on, I'll choke to death.
Despite Soap's ineffective attempts at communication, the blonde seemed to catch on. She asked in flawless Japanese, "Well if you don't speak English, what about Japanese?"
Soap nodded twice.
Boomer inquired, "Well, why didn't you say so?"
The blonde woman was not an Anime universe native. Yet, she somehow managed to sweatdrop. Soap joined in.
Coughing into her hand, the woman continued. "Are you aware that you have violated the perimeter of a Terran Defense Coalition embassy security perimeter?" More head shaking. She sighed. "May I inquire why you are here?" As his associate finished her sentence, Boomer walked up and ripped away the duct tape across Soap's mouth.
Soap cried out as the tape removed her minimal facial hair and two layers of skin from her face.
The primary interrogator said, "Well?"
Suddenly, Soap remembered exactly why she had come. In a hurried voice, she babbled, "ADemonarmyattackingthe villageIwaswoundedearlyinthebattleandIwassenttoJapantobringhometheAmazonsresidingherehometohelpfighthedemonsand mmph!" Soap suddenly found the strip of duct tape planted firmly over her mouth again.
Boomer tapped the adhesive strip. Jezebel said, "What say we try that again with some clarity?" Soap nodded, and the tape was removed.
Soap inhaled deeply to calm herself. After all, it wouldn't be a good idea to anger her captors. "Who are you?"
"I asked first. Answer my question in a concise manner, or else." In a single maneuver, Jezebel hoisted an assault rifle from thin air. Soap winced as Jezebel clipped something onto the edge of the barrel. She may have been a little behind the times, but she did know what a bayonet was. She quickly answered, "I am Soap of the Chinese Amazons."
Jezebel rolled her eyes. "I shoulda known. God, it's always on my watch." She glared at Boomer. "Say, doesn't anything bad happen when you and Lance are on patrol?"
Boomer sighed, and in a said voice said, "The lieutenant won't let us anymore."
Jezebel blinked. "Huh? How did you manage THAT?"
"Well, I'm not completely sure, but I think it was about a month before we got to this post…"
Flashback…
Boomer and Lance were in their Gray Death Battle Armor, sitting in specially reinforced lawn chairs. Lance had taken off his helmet to enjoy a brew. All seemed peaceful.
Appearances can be deceiving.
Suddenly, a bright flash filled the air. They turned around to see a massive mushroom cloud begin to expand a few miles away.
A loud shriek filled the air. It was Lieutenant Creel's voice. "LAAAAAAAAANNNNNNCCCCCCEE!!!!!!"
Lance scratched his chin in a thoughtful manner. "I'd wondered where I left that thing…"
End Flashback…
Once again, Jezebel sweatdropped. Soap coughed politely. "Now, would you mind explaining who you are?"
In a somewhat friendly tone, Jezebel responded, "I'm Corporal 2nd Class Jezebel Ward of the Terran Defense Coalition, 5th Coalition Guards, Gamma Battalion, Alpha Company, Black Sheep Platoon. This is Boomer." Suddenly remembering why she was here, Jezebel asked, "So Soap, what brings you all the way from China?"
"An army of demons attacked my village. I was wounded early in the fighting, and it was obvious that we couldn't hold out too much longer. As I was too injured to battle but still able to walk, I was sent to Japan to gather reinforcements from the Amazons living here. Lo Shun sent a letter saying that she was staying in Okayama, so I came here first. Now tell me, how did you defeat that Iron Golem?"
Jezebel snickered. "That 'Golem,' as you called it, is an advanced piece of military hardware. That suit of Salamander class Battle Armor has a couple of Plasma Flamers, a one shot missile launcher and can rip infantry to shreds with impunity. I was in it earlier when you tried to hit me with your stick. If I hadn't been in such a good mood, you'd be barbeque right now."
Soap didn't quite understand all of the jargon, but she did catch the part about flame. "It was raining. You can't use fire in the rain."
"Fire, no. Plasma, yes. That's what the surface of the sun is made of, little girl." Jezebel gave a feral grin that caused the Amazon to shudder.
Boomer, meanwhile, sensed something was off about Soap's tale. "Is that the whole story?"
"Yes!"
"Really?"
"Yes!"
"Really really?"
"YES!!"
Boomer suddenly began jabbing the girl in the side with his shock stick. In a sing-song voice, he said, "Somebody isn't telling the whole story!"
Soap clenched her teeth. It was difficult to say whether it was due to the pain of the memories or Boomer's annoying poking. "Stop it! Alright, I'll tell you!" She let out a deep sigh, and finished her tale in a subdued voice. "A few weeks ago, a man came to our village. He insulted our martial arts, so I stepped forward to defend the tribe's honor. He… defeated me. And…"
"…According to the laws of your village, you bound to track him down and take him back. Yeah yeah, I've read the reports on you Amazons. I don't suppose this guy's name is Phil, is it?"
"Um, yes. Why?"
Jezebel shook her head. "Pig. I'd heard from Boomer here that he was a real playboy, but this clinches it."
Boomer made a shushing motion with his finger. "Please don't say that again, Jez! The last time a superior officer found out I was talking behind his back, I got KP duty for a month!"
"I sincerely doubt that he even has the brain cells to think of that, Boomer." With that, Jezebel performed an about face and walked toward the door. Boomer followed.
Soap cried out, "Wait! Where are you going!?"
Jezebel waved away the Chinese girl's concern. "Don't sweat it. We'll be back in a bit with some Bacta patches for your wounds."
Boomer added, "Yeah, you can just hang around 'til then."
Jezebel rolled her eyes. "Hah hah. Very funny, Boomer."
Boomer asked, "What do you mean? Did I tell a joke?" Jezebel smacked her forehead. With that, they exited the room.
Soap blinked twice. After a few moments of silence, she screamed, "Hey! Get me down from here!"
It was at this point that Lance walked in. Soap attempted to get his attention, but he seemed unaware of her existence. He shoved her out of his way, making her rock back and forth with a savage intensity. The red haired trooper opened a closet in the back of the room and began rooting around. He began throwing a literal hail of empty beer cans, several of which struck the screaming Amazon. Finally, a cry of, "Eureka" filled the air, and Lance hefted a massive keg of beer. Ducking beneath the swinging and cursing Amazon, Lance left with the distinct impression that he was overlooking something. Oh well. Can't be important.
***************
The Outback…
On a small hill covered by the purple Creep that nourished the Zerg Brood spreading across the continent, a Jedi and five princesses of the long defunct Moon Kingdom hurled attacks against the seemingly endless swarm of aliens. They had slain hundreds of the ever-advancing horde for nearly an hour, yet it showed no sign of thinning.
"Mars Burning Mandala!"
"Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!"
"Moon Tiara Action!"
Three separate magical assaults were launched. A wall of fire descended upon the swarm, setting dozens of Zerg on fire. Those that survived the initial attack were swept away by a massive wall of water.
And a golden Frisbee smacked a Hydralisk's forehead, causing it an insignificant amount of pain. It then proceeded to continue its advance.
Sailor Mars looked at her leader with an incredulous glance, even as Jupiter and Venus launched their own assaults. "Moon Tiara Action?"
Sailor Moon got defensive. "It's all I've got! Everything else exorcises evil, and these things aren't evil. They're just hungry. What I'd give for a real weapon right about now…"
Ralph snorted. I'd prefer a tank battalion. Still, we're doing a lot better than I thought we would. Apparently training with Yoda powered them up a lot, even if they aren't all Jedi material. Ralph's thoughts were interrupted as a Zergling attempted to eviscerate him. He danced around the strike, and then decapitated it with a swipe from his lightsaber.
Going on the offensive, Ralph hacked another of the advancing Zerglings in half with his lightsaber. He was forced to leap aside as a Hydralisk spat a streamer of acid at him. The creep sizzled and smoked where Ralph had been a moment before. He thrust his hand at the wormlike alien. "Fireball!" The Hydralisk screamed in pain as the magical attack caused him to burst into flame. It fell to the ground as its flesh was barbequed. Of course, this would all be so much easier if my communication watch hadn't been destroyed in the crash!
Ralph was forced to fall back further as two more took the place of their fallen comrade. Damn it! I never liked the Zerg, even in the game! "Illuminatus!" A bright flash of white light filled the air, temporarily blinding both Zerg. Ralph manipulated a small bit of Force to catapult himself nearly ten meters uphill to the center of the Senshi's position.
In this battle, Usagi was quickly learning that it was much easier to move chess pieces or order computer-game mecha into position than to lead from the front line. Despite this setback, most likely due to copious amounts of luck, Usagi was successfully leading them in an effective fighting retreat. As they traversed a series of rolling hills a swift running river was always at their right. This ensured that the enemy was limited to attacks from their left flank and front. From time to time, Usagi would decide that a particular hill was a good place to make a stand, and they would temporarily hold their ground. The mindless horde of Zerg would batter themselves against their defenses for a bit, until Usagi decided that it was time to move on.
Ralph was impressed with more than just their increase in power. For the first time, given some actual leadership, the Senshi doing more than just standing in place while flinging low powered attacks. The five provided alternating fire so that the enemy received no reprieve even while on the move.
Yet, Ralph could sense their exhaustion. They were currently running out of manna to power their attacks, and the Zerg showed no signs of giving up. Eventually, they would fall.
And if even one fell, Ralph would probably never forgive himself. If he survived, that is.
Ralph mentally ran through his catalogue of spells even as he launched another fireball into the swarm of Zerg. Valkyrie Beam? Naw, too concentrated. Fireball barrage? No, I'd have to aim every single ball perfectly to make even the slightest impact. Maelstrom? No, that wouldn't work either; it'll take more than a strong wind to do more than slow them down. Wait a second… got it! Haven't tried this one yet, but it should work.
Ralph turned to Sailor Moon. "We hold here. Buy me some time to get this ready, 'cause one way or the other, I'm ending this now."
Usagi almost objected, but decided against it. She knew as well as Ralph that the Senshi couldn't hold out much longer. These Physics Policemen always seen able to perform miracles… and we don't have any other options. "Can do." She whipped out her tiara again, and let fly. It flew out and removed the claw of a previously wounded Zergling. Finally, I managed to do something useful.
Ralph folded his hands before him.
Darkness beyond twilight,
All around him, Senshi collapsed to the ground, their energy reserves finally depleted. Meanwhile Ralph was glowing a bright red color.
Crimson beyond blood that flows,
A Lurker's attack caused the ground around Venus' feet to erupt in spikes. She found herself impaled upon hardened spikes of carapace as long as she was tall. The retracted back into the ground, leaving the Senshi of Love to bleed and die.
Buried in the stream of time,
The Zerg, being sensitive to dark energy, were drawn to Ralph by some unspoken urge. As the red energy swirled about the Jedi, the Zerg seemed transfixed by the sight.
That's where your power grows.
Which was all the opening he needed.
DRAGON SLAVE!
From Ralph's cupped hands came an energy that a Super Saiyan would have had difficulty surviving, much less matching. The Dragon Slave was nearly one hundred meters wide, and flew straight into the attacking swarm. All of the Zerg that entered the path of the beam were instantly vaporized. The blast continued on for several miles, eventually bleeding away its excess energy in a massive explosion.
Ralph didn't see this, as the last of his energy left his body. He fell to his knees, and then fell face first into the carbonized remains of the creep.
******************
While all of this was going on, Son Gohan was putting the finishing touches on an English Literature essay. He dipped his pen into an open container of ink on the upper right hand of his desk, and then tapped the plastic end of the pen to his chin. After a few moments of deep thought, he added the final sentence. "There! That does it!" Although most of his classmates would have either typed the assignment or used a ballpoint pen, that wasn't Gohan's style. Ever since his youngest days, he had used this antiquated method of writing. He had tried other methods, but his ideas simply didn't flow as well. Sure, if he were to accidentally spill the ink, it could ruin an entire evening's work, but that had never happened before. What were the odds that it would happen this time?
"Gohan!"
"Ack!" The Saiyan hybrid leapt up in surprise, knocking his knees against his desk. The bottle of ink was knocked over, spilling its contents across the essay. Gohan rubbed his aching knees, muttering about the pain. Then, seeing hours of work ruined, tears rolling down his cheek. "My essay…" Gohan suddenly remembered that somebody had called his name. He spun around, and ran face first into Kibito's chest. The massive red man seemed slightly surprised at this.
Kaio-Shin waved a greeting to Gohan as the boy extricated himself from Kibito. "It is a pleasure to see you again, Gohan."
Gohan seemed to forget his ruined essay. "Shin! It's been way too long? What you been up too?"
Kibito seemed slightly rankled that Gohan spoke so casually to his master. The purple skinned guardian of the universe scratched his chin in thought. "Well, Kibito and I just finished that model ship in a bottle we've been working on since the Renaissance, oh and we finally got a chance to go see Spirited Away. Some of Miyazaki's best work, although I honestly preferred Princess Mononoke. Oh, and Kibito just found this superb recipe for…"
Kibito interrupted. "Master… our mission?"
The Supreme Kai blushed. "Oops."
Gohan suddenly noticed something. "Hey, uh, I know this is kinda personal, but wasn't Kibito, well, dead?"
Kaio-Shin nodded. "Yes, Gohan. You see, that is why we have come here. The Earth is in chaos due to a hastily worded wish to Shen Long."
"What kind of wish?"
Shin said, "Well, numerous threats long thought vanquished have resurfaced. Even as we speak, the continent of Australia is being ravaged by a horde of aliens. In fact, the one known as Ralph is trapped on that very same continent."
Gohan punched his right hand into his fist. "We have to help him! Where is he?"
Kaio-Shin held up a small wooden trinket. Gohan thought that it was shaped vaguely like the Dragon Radar. The Kai said, "There was a massive surge of dark power in that region a few minutes ago. I cannot be certain, but I believe he may have been at the epicenter of the strike. I attuned this item to that energy, and it will indicate the direction of the power. But before you go, I have even more pressing news. You see…"
Gohan snatched away the manna Scouter before the Supreme Kai could complete his thought. Posing, he exclaimed, "Right! This looks like a job for," he said, pressing a button on his watch, "The Great Saiya Man!" The familiar green and black costume replaced Gohan's school uniform. Thankfully, he had ditched the dorky helmet in favor of a green Robin style mask. "I'll see you later!" With that, Gohan flew out the window.
Kaio-Shin called out, "Wait!"
Kibito shook his head sadly. "I knew we should have told him about Majin Buu first!" Sometimes he wondered why he put up with Kaio-Shin sometimes.
**************
Cell's body bent double as Vegeta's fist hammered his gut. The super-warrior flew backwards through a stand of evergreen trees, a massive arroyo and a billboard urging hikers to protect the last surviving badlands in Japan**. Cell finally managed to regain control of his flight, halting himself by shoving his legs into the ground. Such was his velocity that he found himself buried up to his waist as he dug into the ground.
Cell spat a stream of blood. Damn! How did he get so powerful? Cell shoved down on either side of the trench, flinging himself into the air.
Before he could blink thrice, Vegeta was on him, delivering a barrage of hundreds of punches. Cell's head was snapped in several directions almost simultaneously. Only his reinforced bone structure prevented his neck from being shattered by the force of the blows.
As suddenly as it had begun, the attack stopped. Cell's reprieve was brief, as Vegeta blasted towards him from above and landed on his head feet first. In a manner similar to one of the creatures in an older Mario Brothers game, Cell's head and legs were compacted into his chest. Purple blood flew in all directions.
Vegeta remained in place, ignoring the fact that his new shoes had been completely ruined by alien blood. Not that the rest of the Armani suit had been spared either; it was torn in several places, and purple blood stained the fabric of both inner and outer shirts. "So Cell, I believe we have established who the superior warrior. Do you wish to surrender yourself to my mercy, or continue this futile battle?"
Cell's regeneration abilities finally caught up with the massive beating he had received. With a sickening pop, Cell expanded back to his normal size. "Kaio-Ken!" An aura of red fire surrounded Cell, who blurred upward and caught Vegeta across the face with a right hook. The surprised Super Saiyan suddenly found himself on the defensive, forced to dodge an incredibly fast series of kicks and punches. After several seconds, Cell finally connected with a savage uppercut that sent Vegeta flying. After a few moments of uncontrolled flight, Vegeta managed to halt himself in midair.
Vegeta wiped a trail of blood from his mouth as Cell let go of the Kaio-Ken. The arrogant smirk never left his face. "I salute you Cell, for a battle well fought. It is almost a shame that I must kill you." Vegeta's smirk wavered as he remembered his previous humiliation at Cell's hands. "Almost."
Cell had some smirking of his own to do. "And what makes you think that you can even begin to match me with the power of the Kaio-Ken on my side?"
Vegeta made a dismissive gesture. "I'll admit that Kakorot's technique is useful. In fact, I don't know why you didn't use it before. It would have certainly tipped the scales in the battle with Kakorot's brat."
Cell stopped. "You know, I don't know why I didn't try that. It's funny how your mind works in a crisis." Then Cell's smirk returned. "Not that it helps you now. Prepare to die." Cell cupped his hands, and brought them down to his side. "Kame… "
Vegeta felt the massive power behind Cell's attack. His smirk transformed back into a glower as he concentrated. Then, with a loud cry, Vegeta powered up ever further. His hair extended upwards as his aura filled with flashes of blue lightning.
Upon seeing his opponent power up to Super Saiyan Level Two, Cell almost halted his attack. Almost. "Hame… HA!!!" A bolt of energy as potent as any Cell had ever seen began to streak it's way towards Vegeta.
The newly transformed Saiyan prince held up a single hand. "Galick Gun." The calmly delivered bolt of purple energy matched Cell's best efforts.
Cell grunted at the effort of continuing the Kamehameha wave. "Such power! How is this possible?"
Vegeta chuckled. His voice was completely devoid of humor. "You fool! Did you honestly think that the spawn of Kakorot was the only being capable of this level?" Vegeta made a show of yawning. "And that is with my left hand. You should see what I can do with my right!"
Cell eventually stopped powering his Kamehameha. He dodged to the side, barely avoiding vaporization by the Galick Gun. The bolt of purple energy flew behind Cell, exploding in the distance.
Vegeta cracked his knuckles in an ominous manner. "Now Cell, you shall feel the true power of the Saiyan race! I shall defeat you myself, without any interference from Kakorot or his ilk!"
Suddenly, with a crackle of lightning, a black hole of nothingness appeared at Vegeta's feet. Vegeta gave a cry of surprise and leapt away from the hole in space-time.
After a few moments of impressive visual effects, a head popped out of the hole. "Eh, what's up Vegeta?"
Vegeta screamed, "KAKOROT! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"
Goku looked up at Vegeta. "Well, Mr. Briefs asked me to test his new Portable Hole machine. Looks like it works." Goku then noticed that Vegeta was fully powered up and looked like his face had been through a machine. "Hey Vegeta, is there a fight going on here? Do you need an he…"
Vegeta leapt into the air and landed on Goku's head. He began jumping up and down, forcing Goku down the hole. "He's mine, you understand? Mine mine mine! Go go go! Down down down!" Once Goku's head was no longer visible, Vegeta summoned a yellow Chi bolt and threw it down the hole. There was a very satisfying "boom" as the hope closed.
Back at Capsule Corp., Mr. Briefs shook his head. "Tisk tisk. It seems as though my portable hole machine doesn't work."
A stunned Goku lay on the floor. In a stunned voice, he commented, "I think it might have worked a little too well, sir."
Meanwhile, Vegeta had gone back to beating on Cell. A flurry of kicks hit Cell so hard that the print of Vegeta's long ruined shoes was visible on Cell's back. With a final punch to the face, Cell hit the ground and made a distinctly shaped imprint.
Vegeta chuckled when Cell didn't resurface. "I suppose I was simply too much for him." Suddenly, Vegeta sensed a movement in the air behind him. Cell used the Instant Transmission to get in behind the Saiyan prince and attempted to take off his head with a fully powered swipe. Vegeta scarcely dodged the assault. He blurred away, reappearing several meters away. He was about to begin a fresh assault when he felt a familiar figure power up behind him. "Oh no, not…"
Cell stuttered as he sensed the massive power arrayed against him. "G-Gohan!" Even if I hadn't spent the last half hour getting beaten on by Vegeta, there's no way I could match that!
The Mystic Warrior glared at Cell. "Cell? Well, I suppose that Shin did say that villains had returned from the dead. I guess this means that I get a second chance to avenge my father."
Vegeta quickly thrust his hands at Cell. I have to finish this before that brat kills him firstf! "Final Flash!"
Gohan powered up his own strike. "Masenko!"
Vegeta gave a scream of anguish as his attack merged with Gohan's, creating a massive cone of yellow energy. Cell was frozen in place by fear, and could make no move to save himself. Cell was ripped apart at a molecular level by the massive energy blast. Long after Cell was dead, the bolt continued onward for a long distance, before finally leaving Earth's atmosphere altogether.
Gohan flew up next to Vegeta and placed a hand upon his shoulder. "Hey Vegeta, thanks for the assist."
The Prince of Saiyans slapped the other's hand away and angrily jabbed his finger into Gohan's chest. "Assist nothing, you baka! That was my kill, you understand!? MINE!!!"
Gohan rolled his eyes. He knew how Vegeta could be. "Look Vegeta, our attacks hit at the same time, so the kill is technically shared. But what the hey, we'll tell everyone it was you, OK? Now, I'm off to Australia to fight some alien invaders, and I was wondering if you'd like to join me…"
Vegeta cried, "YOU BAKA! I DON'T WANT OR NEED YOUR CHARITY! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" With an inarticulate scream of rage, Vegeta blasted away from Gohan. As he flew towards home, he screamed a long string of obscenities that would scar younger, more impressionable readers for life if I rewrote them here. After finishing his curses, he looked down at the tattered remains of his suit. That woman is going to kill me for this.
Gohan scratched his head as he powered down. "What's his problem?" Then he remembered the tracker that was attached to his belt. "Oh well. I guess he'll just have to deal with it on his own. For now, Ralph needs my help!" With that, he blasted away.
***************
Meanwhile, in a non-descript room in the Black Sheep's fallout shelter…
"Hello? Anybody? Let me down! THIS ISN'T ANY WAY TO TREAT AN AMAZON WARRIOR!"
End Part 47
*Not that there was anyone to hear it, mind you.
** Before anyone points this out, yes, technically there is Boxing Day, but Vegeta isn't aware of it.
*** All of the others had been demolished in battles with the various DBZ supervillains.
Note: Jezebel is based on someone I know. Only very slight exaggeration was required to create the Battle Armor trooper. (I know some strange and scary people). (Note within a note: the only exaggeration was the fact that the original doesn't speak Japanese.)
Woo hoo! The longest chapter I've cranked out in months!
In case you're wondering why I've been updating so slowly lately, let's just say that I have other… projects to work on. Do not despair, oh teeming masses; you shall benefit in the end.
