Please, Please don't kill me. I'm very sorry about not updating. :grovels: I offer up this chapter in hope that you won't stone me!!!

Reviewers, Past and Future, I love you all!!!

Yes, reviewers can leave entries in Pierre! Join in the insanity!!

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Dear Pierre,

We have finally gotten Sirius to calm down. He spent most of the morning curled in a fetal position, but at least he's talking now. I think the meds are taking affect. We told the teachers various lies. Let's just hope they don't figure it out too soon.

Remus Lupin

Dear Pierre,

Pierre, this is Sirius. It's horrible. They've been making me swallow these horse pills and stay in bed. They think I'm imagining it, but I know these sort of things. I knew it was James when he stuffed sparkles in a bra and glued it too my head. I knew it was Malfoy when I found piranhas in my boxers. I know someone is reading this diary...I can just...sense it...you believe me, don't you?

Sirius Black

Sirius,

Er, do you realize that we can read everything you write in the diary?

Remus Lupin

Remus,

You can? How? It's a secret diary!!!

Sirius Black

Remus,

I think those pills are affecting his brain. He's normally not this stupid.

James Potter

James,

Says you.

Remus Lupin

Remus,

He's not stupid!...normally!

James Potter

James,

I'm afraid he is. We all love him, but he's not the brightest crayon in the box.

Remus Lupin

Remus,

He was the one who came up with the idea to become animagus! He did all the charm and potion work!

James Potter

James and Remus,

Do I get any say in this?

Sirius Black

Sirius,

No.

James Potter and Remus Lupin

Pierre,

We are being watched! We're being controlled! I just found the message stops here; it seems there was a struggle because there is a long line stretching across the page where it was ripped out of someone's hand.

Guys,

Where's Peter?

Remus Lupin

Remus,

Dunno, haven't seen him since potions. And he's not under my bed...I know that because that is where Sirius is. He's muttering about 'eyes.'

James Potter

James,

I think we have a situation. Peter's been kidnapped.

Remus Lupin

Dearest Pierre,

Whenever I see your name, all I can think of is Fox Trott whenever Paige has her fantasies. I'm reading you constantly and don't know why. Perhaps it's the HP fan in me...

Anyway, again I am in front of my computer and leaving and review, and wondering when the author(ess) will update, because I'm going starkers, and am thinking of dipping into Sirius' meds so I can live through the torture of waiting for another chapter.

Oh, and James? Lily winked at me too.

Uozumi

Guys,

SEE?! SEE?! I WAS RIGHT!!! We're being stalked! They're watching us!!!! We're all going to die!!!!

Sirius Black

Dear Uozumi,

LIAR!!!! SHE WOULD NEVER WINK AT YOU!! NO, NO NEVER!! STAY AWAY FROM MY GIRLFRIEND YOU the last word has been scribbled out by someone

James Potter

Dear Uozumi,

I am sorry about my friend's rudeness, but I too would like to know why the hell you are writing in my diary?!?! Where is Peter?!

Who is Paige anyway? And this 'authoress?'

Oh, and please don't take Sirius's meds. He needs all the pills he can get.

Remus Lupin