Part 48
Trunks' Day Out
By BobCat
Proud member of the Fanfiction Author's Union (e-mail at fanfic_union@yahoo.com)
Disclaimer: Hey, everyone is constantly borrowing from Shakespeare and Charles Dickens, but none of the lawyers complain about that! Why should I have to put a bloody disclaimer on this fanfiction?
The Masaki's Front Yard
"…So then she says, "Yeah, but I've never seen one that ate popcorn before!"
GoChibi performed a full-body shudder. "Gad! Ryoko, you know some sick jokes!"
Ryoko the younger (AKA Chibi Ryoko) smirked, revealing her fangs. "Heh heh. You should've seen the expression on your face. It was priceless!"
GoChibi decided to change the subject. "My, it sure is a lovely day. Odd considering that it was 'monsooning' a few chapters… I mean, hours ago."
Chibi Ryoko shrugged. "I guess BobCat just put in that freak weather pattern for dramatic effect."
(Fourth wall up, people!)
Both future girls sweatdropped. Deciding to change subject, GoChibi said, "Say, I've been wondering about this; why haven't we been out dealing with those Zerg?"
Chibi Ryoko treated her friend to a heavy lidded stare. "Remember? Boomer and Lance decided to tap that keg they brought in, and Omi decided that we should take turns making sure they don't blow up anything too important."
The pink haired girl said, "Oh yeah. I wonder how things are going in there?"
Inside…
Omi lay on her back, struggling to breathe. She had had the wind knocked out of her. All around her, there were signs of destruction. Behind her, a wall with several large holes in it (or perhaps more accurately, several large holes with chunks of wall around them) gave a clear view to the room beyond. Why the ceiling hadn't collapsed was a mystery to the future girl. "Ugh… Say, Boomer. Why don't we try putting the gauss rifle down?"
Boomer seemed to ignore Omi as he busied himself with the boxy, shoulder mounted weapon. He whistled a happy tune as he finished replacing the ammunition magazine for the weapon.
Lance seemed more than happy to stick to his pulse laser, which didn't seem to be running out of energy. "Now Omi, I thought we'd agreed. You smashed our Duck Hunter game, so you get to take its place."
Omi flipped to her feet. "WHAT? You're the one who threw the grenade because I was winning!"
Boomer interjected. "Ah, but I didn't see anyone making you dodge the grenade." With that, Boomer stroked the trigger of the gauss rifle. With a loud crack, opposing magnetic fields spat the metal slug at several times the speed of sound. Omi scarcely managed to duck the bullet. "Now DANCE!" He fired the weapon several more times, ripping apart more of the Masaki's house.
In the corner, Jezebel was rubbing her temples. The blonde woman commented, "Oi veh," and then went back to her beer.
Omi could only groan as she was once again put on the defensive. I'm just glad we managed to get everyone out of here. For a few moments, it was so tempting to just power up and vaporize the lot of them. Remember: they need to be here for the future. As she was forced to dodge more bolts of energy and gauss slugs, she repeated her mantra.
Outside…
GoChibi heard more crashes, bangs and the occasional explosion. "Are you sure we shouldn't be helping her?"
Chibi Ryoko waved off the concern. "Nah. Omi's a survivor; I'm sure she'll be OK." She looked upwards. "Besides, we have company."
"Eh?" The daughter of Gohan looked up. Her Chi senses reached out, finding a sizable signature heading their way. "Hmmm… oh. It's Trunks. I wonder what he wants?"
Chibi Ryoko smirked. "Only one way to find out." A blue aura surrounded Ryoko and she flew straight towards the distant Saiyan.
GoChibi looked surprised for a moment, then followed, trailing her own aura. "Hey, wait for me!"
A thousand feet up, Trunks halted his forward momentum and floated in midair. He reached out with his senses, attempting to find his target. "Let's see… the signature should be right… about…"
"Behind you?"
"YIPE!" Trunks whirled around, only to come face to face with some strange, cyan haired girl. "Hey! Don't do that!" He stopped for a second. "Who are you, anyway?"
"Name's Ryoko. Pleased ta meet ya!" She extended her hand, waiting for the handshake. After a few seconds of confused blinking, Trunks returned the gesture.
"Hi. I'm Trunks." He suddenly remembered what was going on. "What's the big idea, sneaking up on me like that!?"
Chibi Ryoko shrugged. "I always try to greet everyone in a memorable manner."
GoChibi, looking slightly singed, finally caught up with the pair. "Ryoko, what's the idea hitting me with a Kamehameha wave?"
Ryoko sneered. "Well, you were winning the race!"
"You are so annoying!" GoChibi grunted, and an aura of yellow surrounded her. Chibi Ryoko followed suit. The two Super Saiyans glared at each other, and Trunks swore that he saw sparks shoot between their eyes.
Trunks instantly sensed that both of them had way more power than he did. Better break this up… like Dad always said, "Don't get caught up in a catfight. Girls fight dirty." From his own experience with GoChibi a few months before, he knew the truth behind that statement. He coughed. "Um, hi, GoChibi! How are things treating you?"
GoChibi looked over and powered down, her hair returning to its normal state. "Oh, can't complain much. Why'd you decide to stop by?"
Trunks said, "Well, I was listening to the radio and I heard a news report about some strong guys tearing up a village north of here, and I was wondering if you'd like to come with me to fight them. It's no fun alone."
GoChibi had a confused look on her face. "Why me?"
Trunks started counting off fingers. "Well, Dad came back from a shopping trip a few hours ago and locked himself in the gravity room. He was muttering something about, 'no good third rate bakas.'" Trunks paused for a second. "He does that a lot. Anyway, Goten's mom was making him study, Gohan wasn't there, Dad would kill me if he found out I was hanging out with Goku, I couldn't find Piccolo," he said, counting off on a new hand. "Krillin yelled at me for interrupting him. Don't know why; he was just hanging out with Eighteen on his couch." He shrugged it off as unimportant. "I don't like Yamcha, and Tien and Chouzou live too far away. Who else is there?"
GoChibi gave Trunks a glare. "It's so nice to know I'm ninth string."
Trunks sweatdropped. "Well, uh, heh heh." Think, or else you're doomed, man! "It's just that…" Sweat began pouring down his face as his mind froze. Had he been a computer, his eyes would have flashed, "Error! Program has committed illegal action."
Chibi Ryoko elbowed her friend. "C'mon, girl. No reason the guy you humiliated so easily should give you first consideration. 'Sides, it's not like we're doing anything useful here."
GoChibi's glare ceased. "I guess you're right. C'mon Trunks, lead the way!" The pink haired girl's aura flashed. And then she stopped. "Say, shouldn't we get Omi first?"
Chibi Ryoko snorted. "Naw, she'll be fine."
"Oh I will, will I?"
Everyone turned their head. There stood Omi, clothes charred and several painful looking bruises obvious on her face.
Chibi Ryoko said, "Hey shouldn't you be back babysitting the soldiers?"
Omi grabbed her compatriot by the front of her jacket and started shaking her back and forth. "Look you, I'm just going to let the "shoot anything that moves duo" do what they want. Unless YOU feel like playing target buoy!"
Meanwhile, Trunks' mind was out to lunch. That girl… so pretty… Sakura petals seemed to fall from nowhere. In Trunks' eyes, all of her injuries seemed to melt away, leaving an angelic, green haired girl. A blush turned his face a bright crimson as his heart rate doubled. He floated over to Omi and held out his hand. "Hello. My name is Trunks. What's yours?"
Omi didn't notice Trunks' odd behavior. She stopped throttling her friend long enough to shake his hand. "Hi. I'm Omi."
Trunks sighed. In a voice that Omi didn't hear, he said, "Omi. What a positively lovely name."
GoChibi overheard the entire thing. To tell, or not to tell? Seeing the mood her battle ravaged friend was in, she opted for the latter. "So now that we're all here, lead the way, Trunks!"
The purple haired boy, still slightly off balance from his obligatory sakura petals scene, pointed. "Uh, that way."
Omi said, "Uh, Trunks, that's south."
"Oh. Then… that way!"
"South again."
"That way?"
"Southwest."
Chibi Ryoko pulled out a small radio. "While you guys randomly guess, I'm going to listen to the radio to figure out where this is happening." As she changed stations, various reports began filtering in.
"In Okayama, two men in para-military uniforms and wielding advanced technology are tearing a path of destruction through the region. Citizens are advised…"
Omi pushed the button. "Enough of those two!"
A new voice came on. "In other news, a large, pink creature has been sighted in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Reports say that he is currently running rampant through the city, devouring its inhabitants. The Avengers and the Justice League of America have been contacted, but there has been no response."
GoChibi shook her head. "That isn't it."
A few more channels later, they found their destination. With a series of flashes and bangs, the four took off.
************
Hershey, Pennsylvania
As one would gather, this is the home of the world famous Hershey candy company. Normally, hundreds of tourists would be poking around the town and the factories. However, most of the people were content to run around in a disorganized fashion.
"AAAAAHHHH! RUN! EVERYBODY, RUN!" The obligatory screaming man issued instructions that everyone simultaneously ignored and obeyed.
(This is embarrassing! C'mon people! Show some dignity! You'd think that Godzilla was attacking from the way you're all carrying on!)
"Buu turn you into chocolate!"
(OK, maybe you have a point.)
The fat, pink monster was currently meandering around the land of chocolate. From time to time, he would issue a blast of pink energy from the fleshy appendage atop his head, turning a random person into a candy bar. The newly created candy treat would then float to Majin Buu, who would snarf it greedily. Then, in the .2 seconds it took for his appetite to come back, he would select his next target, and repeat the process.
As he was halfway done with eating a former Senator* when he sniffed the air. Despite the lack of a nose, Buu seemed to find something to enjoy. Buu laughed gleefully. "Hah hah! Buu smell much chocolate!" He looked around in a confused manner. "But where is chocolate?" The source of the scent not visible, Buu finished his current snack and then shot a pink blast at another fleeing civilian. Majin Buu took a large bite out of the chocolate. Suddenly, a thick, gray substance covered his hands and his treat. "Huh?"
"Yo tubby! Don't you know that too much candy rots your teeth?"
Buu looked up from his meal to see a man dressed in red and blue. He wore a red mask, and his eyes were hidden behind white lenses. He was currently holding onto the other end of the gray stuff and was crouching on the side of a wall.
"Who is funny man on wall?" Buu was getting angry; this weirdo had ruined his chocolate bar!
"You can call me Spiderman. Now be a good little guy and stay still!" He pointed his remaining hand at Majin Buu and quickly double-tapped the switch, sending a web net at his opponent. In seconds, Buu was obscured by a mass of webbing.
Spidey leapt to the ground, noting the seething mass of web. He smirked under his mask. Lucky for everyone here that I'm in town. If J. Johan Jameson hadn't sent me here to cover the unveiling of Hershey's new bar, Ubersusse, this thing could have done even more damage! He briefly wondered why his skinflint editor had bothered to pay his expenses for a trip like this. It seems like some sort of bad setup for a crossover…
(Fourth wall up, Spidey!)
Spiderman glanced around, looking for the source of the voice. Finding none, he shrugged it off.
Suddenly, a pillar of pink energy rose up from the ground, extending high into the sky.
Spidey winced. Or not.
Buu glared at Spiderman. Unlike before, his eyes were clearly visible. "You try to hurt Buu. Now Buu hurt you!" Buu opted not to fly at Spiderman. Instead, he stomped angrily, his feet sending cracks across the asphalt.
Spiderman shot another web strand at the monster, hoping to bide for time. Buu… Buu… I've heard that before. Something about an attack in Japan? Of course, Spiderman had no memories of his absorption by Cell or any memories he might have gleaned from the experience; Shen Long had seen to that. But he had heard of the creature from a few press reports from the Daily Bugle's Tokyo branch.
Spidey's thoughts were rudely interrupted as Majin Buu caught the web strand. When the sticky substance hardened, Buu pulled on the line.
Spidey found himself reeled in towards the pink creature. Thinking fast, he shifted in mid-flight, using his opponent's momentum against him. Spidey planted both feet into Buu's gut. However, Buu's flab easily absorbed the shock. Then Spidey found himself being sucked in by the folds of fat. "What the?"
Buu gave Spiderman a horrible smile. "Buu crush you like bug! And Buu's teeth no rot! Buu brush after every meal!" By this time, Only Spidey's right arm and upper body had not been drawn into the folds. At the moment only his Spider-strength and ability to cling to objects kept him in his current equilibrium.
Not that it was easy. He felt his bones grinding together under the pressure, and his free arm felt like it was going to be ripped from its socket. Better think fast, Spidey, or else you're going to be thinner than your pocketbook!
This battle of Spidey's best versus Buu's absent minded assault continued for several minutes. Finally, just when Spidey thought that he would black out, Buu sniffed the air again. "Where is chocolate?" Buu seemed to be getting frustrated. Buu smell chocolate, but Buu not see chocolate. He looked down, as if finally noticing the red and blue figure engulfed in his fat. "Do you know where chocolate is?"
Spiderman blinked. That's all he wants? "Um, if you stop crushing me to death, I'll tell you how to get there."
"That seem fair enough to Buu." With that, Spiderman found himself ejected from his pink prison. He lay on the ground, attempting to get air to his lungs. After a few seconds, Buu casually picked him up by his right leg. Buu dangled him upside down and looked him in the face. "Now where chocolate?"
Spidey gasped, "Go down… this street… turn… left… it's on your right… you can't miss it… really." Ouch! I hurt in places I didn't know I had!
Buu's face brightened up. "Thank you, Spiderman!" Buu tossed Spiderman away, not giving any concern as to where he fell.
In midair, Spidey managed to shoot a webline. It attached itself to a lamppost, and he swung in an arch that carried him into a crouching position atop it. "Ah! What's that thing made out of? Good thing that all he wanted was chocolate, or else…" Then a thought hit him. "Oh God! I just led him straight to the factory!" Spiderman forced protesting muscles into action and he started web-swinging at maximum speed. Have to hurry! Every second that I'm not there is another one that he's eating the workers! And it'll be my fault!
After a few moments, Spidey found that a swath of destruction that made a beeline right to the factory. Oh lord! What have I done?!
**************
Stanley Dikto had worked as a guard at the main Hershey production plant for over twenty years. In that time, he had seen a lot of things. Mostly, given the nature of the horde that he guarded, it was people attempting to find new and original ways to get free candy. Last month had been the most creative; somebody had dressed up as a computer generated M&M from those commercials and had claimed to be an executive. Of course, the person hadn't realized that M&M's were made by Mars, but he had gotten an A for effort. And then a quick booting from the facility.
Robert yawned and looked out the window and proceeded to spit out the coffee he HAD been drinking. "What the…" A fat, pink creature was flying towards the factory. "Ah!" Stanley barely managed to leap from his post as Buu flew through it, sending wooden shrapnel and glass in all directions.
Buu didn't seem to notice the destruction left in his wake, nor the aluminum siding wall. All he noticed was that the intoxicating smell of chocolate grew stronger as he flew into the factory. What he saw inside was…
Heaven. Chocolate and candy were everywhere. On conveyor belts, on trucks, on carts, even on the floor in places was more candy than Buu had seen in his life.
Buu gave a happy cheer and dove into a vat of liquid chocolate and began to swim. The liquid was boiling hot, but he didn't seem to notice. He swam to the bottom and began to drink greedily.
Stanley had finally gotten to his feet when Spidey finally arrived. Employees were already fleeing from the carnage inside. Spidey looked down at the guard. "Are you OK?"
Stanley nodded slightly as Spidey helped him up. "Yeah, mostly. What is that thing?"
"I don't know." Spidey stole a glance inside the factory. Buu was blurring around faster than his eyes could track, inhaling chocolate at an impossible rate. Seeing that Majin Buu was not a threat for the moment, Spiderman turned around and walked away.
Stanley looked at Spidey with a surprised look on his face. "Well, aren't you going to do something about this?"
Spidey shook his head. "No, I already tried that. Just keep the chocolate coming and he should stay happy."
Stanley nodded. "But where are you going?"
"I'm going to try to get some reinforcements. Don't worry, I won't be too long." Without any handy purchases to web from, Spidey sped up to a jog. I hope, he added silently.
************
Half a world away, a red skinned man with long, white hair flew at top speed along the small town's main street. His eyes scanned the road, looking for any sign of life. Finding none, he looped up and reversed his direction. He pressed a button on a small ear mounted device. "Cap'n Ginyu. Jheese here."
A harsh voice filled Jheese's eardrum. "I read, Jheese. Any survivors?"
Jheese responded, "Negative, Cap'n. The Scouter's not pickin' anything up. Say, where did we get these, anyway?"
Ginyu responded, "BobCat probably just thought that we didn't look right without them."
Jheese nodded. "Cap'n, I agree with you an' all, but are you sure we should be breaking the fourth wall like this? It seems kind of dangerous."
"Sure I'm sure! Now get back here on the double!"
"Yes, Cap'n. Jheese out." Jheese closed the communication link and focused on the terrain beneath him. Large craters marked what had once been houses, and those few structures that remained standing resembled Swiss cheese more than buildings. Several walls had shadows burned into them, the only physical remains of the townspeople after the Ginyu Force had gotten to work.
Jheese nodded. "Not bad fer a day's work." Of course, any member of the Force could have scoured all traces of the city from the planet in a moment, but that went against Ginyu's plan.
Jheese shook his head, an arrogant smirk on his features. It was so simple; they were mercenaries, and mercenaries fight wars for money. Unfortunately, all of their previous employers were either dead, or unreachable by the primitive planet's communications abilities. So, Ginyu had devised their current plan of demonstrating their abilities on random settlements in a public manner. They always left several notes advertising their services and giving rates, so that any potential employers would know how to find them.
Of course, the fact that their notes were not written in a script legible by their Earthling employers hadn't occurred to them. All they knew was that a week of advertisement wasn't working very well.
As Jheese landed at the rendezvous point, the purple-skinned Ginyu grinned. "Ah good. You're all back. Now then, since we have a few minutes off, it's time to practice…" Ginyu made several poses, each of which that the Great Saiya-Man would have been reluctant to use. "The Ginyu Force Roll Call!"
Rekhum sighed. "Captain, do we have to do this again? There isn't even anyone to see us!"
In a very calm manner, Ginyu walked over to his subordinate. "Rekhum, who is the strongest one here?"
The tall man thought for a few seconds. "Uh, you?"
Ginyu nodded. "Very good. Now, as the strongest, who elected himself commander of our little outfit?"
Rekhum said, "You?"
Ginyu nodded again. "Then in that case, when I say that we're doing the Ginyu Force Roll Call, WE'RE DOING THE BELGIAN GINYU FORCE ROLL CALL!!!!"
Butta grimaced. He whispered to Gurd, "Man, he must be angry, using the most obscene word in the universe and all!" The four eyed, tiny alien nodded in agreement.
Ginyu leapt into an open area. "Alright then." He stood on one foot, arms held akimbo to his right. "Ginyu Force Roll Call!"
Rekhum leapt into a position at Ginyu's direct right and posed. "Rekhum!"
Butta leapt to Ginyu's left, matching Rekhum's pose. "Butta!"
Jheese came in next to Butta, while Gurd appeared next to Rekhum.
"Jheese!"
"Gurd!"
Ginyu began posing, wasting little movement. "And Captain Ginyu! Together we are…"
In unison they yelled, "THE GINYU FORCE!"
Ginyu nodded his head. "Nice work, troops! Take five!"
"Stop right there!"
Ginyu said, "Huh? Who the…"
Two short figures floated above the Ginyu Force, their features obscured by the light of the sun.
One of them said, "Hah! You think that you are a true master of silly poses and stupid catch phrases? Let us show you the error of your ways!" With that, they began speaking alternating lines.
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To continue our parody and imitation!"
"To defend the beauty of truth and love!"
"To slap our foes with a leather glove!"
Suddenly, they fell down to earth, bending their knees to absorb the impact of their fall.
The first one struck an angular pose to rival any of the Ginyu Force's. "Omi!"
Her partner struck an equal yet opposite pose. "Ryoko!"
"Team Saiyan blasts off at the speed of light!"
"Don't surrender now, or we'll miss the fight!"
A third person blurred in front of the pair. "Trrrrrunks, that's right!"
Ginyu appraised his challengers. "Not bad. Judges?" The other members of the Ginyu Force held up scorecards. Not one was higher than a 5. "Heh! Rank armatures!"
"Oh yeah? Try me!" There was GoChibi, dressed up in her full Sailor Chibimoon regalia.
After a few moments of silence, the alien mercenaries burst into laughter. Gurd lay on the ground, rolling in helpless fits.
GoChibi blushed furiously, but ignored the laughing. I am SO going to kill Omi for putting me up to this. She placed one hand on her forehead, and the other behind her back. "Halt!" GoChibi brought her arms so that they were parallel to the ground, pointing right. "You, who would make a mockery of the fine art of Sentai Posing by using it for evil!" She curled her fingers like Spiderman shooting a web and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I am Sailor Chibimoon," she pointed with her right hand at Ginyu. "And I will punish you!"
Rekhum held up a 9. "Brilliant! That was the most beautiful thing I've seen in years!" This caused him to get very odd looks from the other mercenaries.
GoChibi blurred next to her companions, who made Ginyu-like poses. "For we are… The Ginyu Force!"
Jheese whispered to Ginyu. "Hey Cap'n, I think they're mocking us!"
"No DUH, Jheese. Get them!" As a unit, the Ginyu Force blasted toward their opponents.
GoChibi brought out her wand. "OK, they aren't fun anymore. And they aren't strong enough to be a good warmup. Is it OK if I just finish them off now?" There was general approval of the idea. "OK then! Pink… Sugar… Hearts!"
The Ginyu Force suddenly found themselves held in place by an invisible force. Butta said, "What in the… it's almost as if we're compelled to stay in place for her final attack!"
From the Saiyan's wand came a cascade of large, pink hearts, each as big as their caster. Each alien mercenary was held in a trance by the sight. In near unison, they mumbled, "Lovely."
There was a massive explosion, and the Ginyu Force was converted into four small piles of moon dust, which blew away in the wind.
GoChibi blinked. Four? Weren't there supposed to be five? After a few seconds of thought, she decided that it wasn't important.
Omi slapped Trunks on the back. "Well Trunks, that was fun! Thanks for inviting us!"
Trunks managed to stutter, "Y-you're welcome, Omi-sempai." Trunks felt as if he was in danger of passing out, but managed to avoid it. Her hands… so soft and tender, yet strong…
Chibi Ryoko put an arm around the pair's shoulders. "Not let's all go out for frosty chocolate milkshakes!"
"Yeah!"
Meanwhile…
Jheese flew away at his equivalent of Warp Factor Nine. Good thing I checked their power levels… that little boy was over 7,000,000 and he was the weakest one of the lot! Jheese shuddered, as he considered how close he had come to death. That's it! No more evil! I'm going to join one of those super hero teams I've heard so much about! Maybe the Avengers… I mean, anyone who can take on the Kree and win is worthy of respect! With that, Jheese blasted off over the horizon and out of sight.
End Part 48
*He was on a fact finding mission, paid for by your tax dollars, to see how the economy of Hershey, Pennsylvania differed from his own constituency in Arkansas, and maybe pick up some cut-rate chocolate.
Ubersusse translates roughly to "Super Sweet" in, you guessed it, German.
Author's Note: To those who know the beginning of that joke… you have my sympathy. I've been trying to get it out of my head for weeks.
