Mistake
by MeLi

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There's nothing left for me to go on.

My family called me unworthy.

The dark side called me a traitor.

The light side called me a coward.

There used to be you...

Then you called me a mistake.

Why did you save me if you were going to throw me away?

You should have let me die when I had the courage to do so.

When I was sure there was nothing worth living for, I had the strength to end it all.

But you came.

You came in the most critical moment and gave me a reason to live.

And then you took it away.

And that was worse than if you had never come.

Why did you love me if you were going to shatter my heart?

You should have let me be.

You should have let me stop being.

You should have left me alone.

I can't be alone again now that I know what it's like to be with you.

I can't be if I know I will never again be with you.

So I have to stop being.

It's like before.

Only it's nothing like before.

Before, I wanted to stop being but I didn't want a reason to stop me.

Yet you came and gave me a reason to live.

Now...

Now I do want a reason to stop me.

And I know you won't give me one.



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Harry Potter finished reading the unsigned letter and ran like the wind to the top of the Astronomy Tower. He hadn't meant for this to happen. He had walked out on Draco Malfoy because he thought that would be best for everyone. But after reading Draco's letter, the sense of wrong he'd had all week – ever since that fateful moment when he'd said being with Draco was a mistake – settled in. In the instant it took his mind to process the information in the letter, he realized there was no way he'd be able to be alone, either. There was no way he'd be able to live without Draco. He thought that, subconsciously, he'd probably been aware of this fact, and he hated himself for needing things to come to this before his conscious mind caught up.

So Harry ran as fast as he could and, with an enormous sense of déjà vu, climbed the stairs to the top of the Astronomy Tower.

There was Draco, standing on the parapet, his back to Harry, just like Harry had found him that day. So Harry, just like he'd done that day, walked over to Draco, pulled him down from the parapet by the back of his robes, and caught him in his arms.

Gazing into troubled silver eyes, Harry said,

"Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once. And some are too good to ever stop."

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End
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AN: This is a present for the HP fandom on occasion of my birthday.
It's especially dedicated to Ruhgozler and Lillian for being such great friends. I *heart* you both!