"The Many Meanings of 'Screw'"
Hermione gave an aggravated sigh as she scribbled out her homework at a maddening pace.
She refused to look for a clock. She refused to look for anyone with a wrist watch. And she definitely refused to try to use the light streaming the window as a temporary sun dial.
Harry still wasn't there to grace her with his presence.
"Probably out seducing some 12-year-old second year. or teacher. or." Hermione's mind started wandering through nasty mental images that came unbidden to her as she thought of all the horrible rumors that were floating around school. "Ugh!" she cried and flung herself face down onto her work. She was so exhausted! Doing her schoolwork and Head Girl duties were enough, but having to keep up with that slut-machine? That was way more than any 17 year old could handle. Though as always, she shoved away her frustrations into a metaphorical bottle and continued with her Transfiguration homework.
Unknown to the otherwise distracted girl, Draco strolled into the hushed library, still a little spooked from the 'incident'. It had been rare in the early years to see her calm and unique muggle-born arrogance replaced with an angry mask. But due to one Boy Who Was Completely Self Absorbed, frowns and knitted eyebrows were more popular than the Head Girl's carefree smiles of her youth.
Then he saw her. Hermione Granger. "Speak of the devil" he murmured, raking his eyes over her as he leaned against a particularly dusty bookcase, grateful that his long hair fell in such a way to cover his nervous blush. Yes, they have been on bad terms for a couple of years but things could change. right? Draco bit his bottom lip as his own eyebrows met in annoyance. If he had a nickel for every time he had said 'Mud-Blood'. well if she could forgive and forget Potter, why should I be different?
"Filthy Mud-Blood!" whispered a 12 year old Draco in his head. The Slytherin shook his skull to rid himself of the thoughts and tried to gather any kind of courage. He was about to take a very un-Slytherin risk.
"Working on your Transfiguration homework?" questioned Draco as he sauntered over to the girl almost hidden by piles of books. "Do you mind if I sit here?"
Hermione didn't even take the time to look up from her parchment. She just simply motioned him to sit with a wave of her hand and let her quill and ink continue to scratch the paper with her train of thought.
Draco took a seat in front of her and started to work. Even Peeves would say that Hermione resembled a Hungarian Horntail at the moment; she did not want to be bothered. Common sense decided that it wouldn't be the right time for him to ask her.anything.
They sat in silence for the longest time before the 'Eros' came in with his audience.
"Ladies, Ladies! Please." Harry held up his hands as an inefficient shield, imploring them while flashing his classic "fuck me" smile. Draco was sure he heard one girl gasp mid-orgasm. If there weren't so many of them no doubt Harry would have taken 2 of the more provocative looking ones and performed a threesome on the library table. Right then and there. Oh yes.
It took Harry a while to shake them off and frankly Hermione was on the brink of a violent rampage. It was only 12:00pm and she was already tired of Mr. Shag-a-riffic.
"Where have you been?" Hermione hissed, fire igniting in her eyes.
"I have been. occupied.with other.things.uhh." stammered Harry as he watched a seven year girl stroll by. He knew Hermione didn't approve of his 'extracurricular activities', but what could he do? He wasn't his fault girls spread it if he just winked at them. He was just So. Damn. Fine.
Harry tried to weasel out the verbal beating he knew was coming with again using an infamous "come hither" grin. Apparently this worked just about as much as offering bibles to atheists.
Hermione was pissed. Draco felt the tension all around him like a heavy weight on his body. The storm was about to break.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" She thundered, on her feet and hands placed firmly on the table as a balance, occasionally letting one up to point guilty fingers at him.
"Oh shit." sighed Harry as he slumped, already defeated, into the chair by Draco, slowly moving piles of books in front of his face.
"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?! HOW IS IT." Hermione's rant of death continued unbroken by breath as Draco tried to make himself as invisible as he could; not daring to move, breathe, or blink. He was much too afraid that his head would also be devoured off. As for Harry. he tried to look as innocent as possible, but it was pretty hard to do that when his zipper was down.
Madam Pince, the librarian, didn't do a thing. She rolled her aged eyes and went back to her Harleton Novel, "Luna and George: the Wand that Tipped the Scale". She was used to it. Everyone was used to it, it happened every so often. Harry would fuck around (literally), Hermione would get enraged. She would scold him for a good ten minutes. Storm off. Forgive him. And it would start all over again. A chorus of sighs that seemed to say "not again" could be heard round the room from Hufflepuffs and Slytherins a like.
".YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN YOU GET AIDS AND DIE! YOU'RE A SLUT!! A BIG FAT SLUT, HARRY POTTER! AND I'M SURPRISED PEOPLE EVEN WANT TO GO NEAR YOU KNOWING YOU'VE BEEN SHAGGING ANYTHING WITH TWO LEGS! YOU DIRTY.UH.MAN WHORE!!" Hermione hurriedly grabbed her things and stormed out of the library.
Draco had to put his hands over his mouth to stop his laughter. A quiet snicker escaped anyway.
Ha! MAN WHORE! Draco thought to himself.
"I'm not a man whore." Harry said sadly as he hung his head and walked dejectedly out of the library.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-
"Can you believe her Ron?" Harry was shouting himself as he complained and tossed the Quaffle up in the air. Harry had made his way to his grassy haven, also known as the Quidditch Field, after the argument in the library. He couldn't go back to the common room because SHE would be there. The evil 'fuzzy-headed-bitch' as Harry referred to her now. Ron just lay on the grass next to his best comrade, staring into the brilliant blue sky, listening to Harry vent on how Hermione always ruined his fun.
"SHE is probably just jealous because SHE isn't getting any. SHE'S always having her nose in a book. SHE would probably like reading about sex more than actually shagging anyone..." Harry sighed and breathed deeply; he dropped the red ball in his hands and closed his eyes, letting one hand journey through his unruly hair. He needed a plan- a plan to get that off his back once and for all. "Hey Ron. I have an idea!"
"The famous Harry Potter shags and thinks? Amazing." Ron laughed, his attention still riveted on the changing nimbus above him.
"Yeah, yeah. Hilarious! But really, Why don't you shag her?"
"Shag who?" Ron was on his elbows now.
"YOUR MOM!! Who in the bloody hell do you think? For crying out loud.Hermione you dolt!"
"What?!" Ron was on his feet now, pointing an accusing finger at the adolescent next to him. "I think you've gone off your rocker there buddy."
Harry was pacing back and forth, his genius and Ron stubborn refusal moving him. "C'mon.you'll get a little action (Harry squeezed his hands over Ron's chest). and I'll get Hermione off my case.and-"
Ron interrupted and pushed away the boy's intrusion. "No. Remember, You're the one that will shag anyone just for the hell of it. I would at least like to shag someone I fancy."
"Fine! Bloody fine!" Harry huffed and sat crossed legged and cross armed on the mowed grass. "I'm sure there are other people that would take my brilliant proposition into consideration."
"Psh. brilliant he says!" Ron's shook his red head sadly.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-
Hermione felt calm as she stared at the Dark Forest, visible through a window in the Gryffindor Common Room where she now resided. Crookshanks purred contentedly in her lap, but she decided she needed a break from the people in the small room with her. She was famished considering she skipped lunch and had used most of her energy to scold Harry. "So off to the kitchens, I suppose."
Hermione cursed Harry's name as she walked out of the scarlet and gold themed room to visit the house-elves for a pre-dinner snack. Mid-way through the gloomy dungeons she heard a familiar voice tentatively calling her name from down the hall.
"Hermione! Wait!" it was none other than Draco Malfoy, the Lucifer gone Angel Michael.
Hermione halted in her steps, ready to take on anything he threw at her. She swung around, rubbing her thumb across her lips before placing a haughty smirk on them. Something she had learned from the very boy who stood stunned in front of her. "What Draco? I am having an awful day and if you could be so nice to keep any insults shoved down your throat instead of saying them out loud. Much appreciated." The last bit oozed with sarcasm as she turned, walking forward.
Draco was taken aback. He didn't really know what to do. He was attempting to ask Hermione to the ball again, but he got shot down before he even had the chance to say anything! The Seeker simply hung his head down and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
His hand shot out, desperately trying to grasp and stop her. "Er. well.. uh... i.." were the only words that managed to escape.
Hermione didn't have time for this.
"WAIT!" she stopped for a third time, this time genuinely annoyed. She cocked an eyebrow, hands on hips- waiting. "I mean 'wait.'
He sighed and jogged forward until they were adjacent, "Can I walk with you? To uh. where ever you're going?"
Now it was Hermione's turn to be stunned. "Umm. Sure.why not?"
Draco smiled in relief and together they started walking towards the recognizable picture of overly large fruit.
"So uh. Hermione. I don't know how to say this so I am just going to ask you." Draco's porcelain skin was flushed with cherry tints as he stammered out his words one by one.
Hermione tried to keep her cool as she walked patiently besides him. A sly grin attempted to steal onto her face, but she coughed and hid it from him yet. She didn't want Draco to know that she was incredibly interested in what she thought and wanted Draco to ask her.
"The ball. I was wondering. if you would...um...go with me?"
Hermione stopped and turned to look at him. The consistently smooth and cold boy's exterior was crumbling before her very eyes. Was tints before was now a full fledged crimson blush. He stared down, willing the ground to consume him. "Draco Malfoy," she chuckled, "Are you asking me to the Yule ball?"
"Umm.yes" he sputtered.
"Is this some kind of joke?" she took on a serious tone. She was not in the mood for any bull shit.
"No! No! No! Hermione. Look. I think you're a very nice girl. And honestly, there aren't that many decent girls left since Harry turned bimbo. I just want to go with someone that is smart, and not been infected with Potter fluid. So please? Will you go with me?" he had his arms out in front of him in an open pleading gesture.
Hermione was astonished. Dumbfounded. Draco Malfoy, THE ex-poster child for Junior Death Eaters around the world, had just asked her to the ball.
"Yes...sure.okay! I'll go with you!" It was her turn to blush as she gave him a heart wrenching smile.
"You will? Great!" And for the first time, they laughed together.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-
Dusk fell suddenly upon the two Gryffindor quidditch players and Ron's stomach told him it was time for dinner. Ron and Harry decided to start heading into the Great Hall. Ron was starving. Considering he had been on the Quidditch field devising knew plays all day and listening to Harry's endless rants and plans that involved, in the end, Hermione on her back.
"It's your own fault Ron!" Harry grumbled, "You could have eaten breakfast at least!"
Ron just let out an exaggerated moan as he clutched his stomach as if he was going to die of starvation any second, holding onto his friends shoulder with the other one. Harry rolled his eyes; Ron could be such a drama queen.
With the word breakfast echoing around in his mind, Harry couldn't help but remember how Draco got all nervous and tense when Harry was watching him this morning. He remembered exactly as those icy eyes pierced through him. Harry flattered himself with thinking about the way Draco had licked his lips he as his sultry gaze made him increasingly uncomfortable. The inspiring trickles of sweat forming on his forehead, His uneasy eyes shifting to from the door to Harry.
It was almost as if he.
Hermione gave an aggravated sigh as she scribbled out her homework at a maddening pace.
She refused to look for a clock. She refused to look for anyone with a wrist watch. And she definitely refused to try to use the light streaming the window as a temporary sun dial.
Harry still wasn't there to grace her with his presence.
"Probably out seducing some 12-year-old second year. or teacher. or." Hermione's mind started wandering through nasty mental images that came unbidden to her as she thought of all the horrible rumors that were floating around school. "Ugh!" she cried and flung herself face down onto her work. She was so exhausted! Doing her schoolwork and Head Girl duties were enough, but having to keep up with that slut-machine? That was way more than any 17 year old could handle. Though as always, she shoved away her frustrations into a metaphorical bottle and continued with her Transfiguration homework.
Unknown to the otherwise distracted girl, Draco strolled into the hushed library, still a little spooked from the 'incident'. It had been rare in the early years to see her calm and unique muggle-born arrogance replaced with an angry mask. But due to one Boy Who Was Completely Self Absorbed, frowns and knitted eyebrows were more popular than the Head Girl's carefree smiles of her youth.
Then he saw her. Hermione Granger. "Speak of the devil" he murmured, raking his eyes over her as he leaned against a particularly dusty bookcase, grateful that his long hair fell in such a way to cover his nervous blush. Yes, they have been on bad terms for a couple of years but things could change. right? Draco bit his bottom lip as his own eyebrows met in annoyance. If he had a nickel for every time he had said 'Mud-Blood'. well if she could forgive and forget Potter, why should I be different?
"Filthy Mud-Blood!" whispered a 12 year old Draco in his head. The Slytherin shook his skull to rid himself of the thoughts and tried to gather any kind of courage. He was about to take a very un-Slytherin risk.
"Working on your Transfiguration homework?" questioned Draco as he sauntered over to the girl almost hidden by piles of books. "Do you mind if I sit here?"
Hermione didn't even take the time to look up from her parchment. She just simply motioned him to sit with a wave of her hand and let her quill and ink continue to scratch the paper with her train of thought.
Draco took a seat in front of her and started to work. Even Peeves would say that Hermione resembled a Hungarian Horntail at the moment; she did not want to be bothered. Common sense decided that it wouldn't be the right time for him to ask her.anything.
They sat in silence for the longest time before the 'Eros' came in with his audience.
"Ladies, Ladies! Please." Harry held up his hands as an inefficient shield, imploring them while flashing his classic "fuck me" smile. Draco was sure he heard one girl gasp mid-orgasm. If there weren't so many of them no doubt Harry would have taken 2 of the more provocative looking ones and performed a threesome on the library table. Right then and there. Oh yes.
It took Harry a while to shake them off and frankly Hermione was on the brink of a violent rampage. It was only 12:00pm and she was already tired of Mr. Shag-a-riffic.
"Where have you been?" Hermione hissed, fire igniting in her eyes.
"I have been. occupied.with other.things.uhh." stammered Harry as he watched a seven year girl stroll by. He knew Hermione didn't approve of his 'extracurricular activities', but what could he do? He wasn't his fault girls spread it if he just winked at them. He was just So. Damn. Fine.
Harry tried to weasel out the verbal beating he knew was coming with again using an infamous "come hither" grin. Apparently this worked just about as much as offering bibles to atheists.
Hermione was pissed. Draco felt the tension all around him like a heavy weight on his body. The storm was about to break.
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" She thundered, on her feet and hands placed firmly on the table as a balance, occasionally letting one up to point guilty fingers at him.
"Oh shit." sighed Harry as he slumped, already defeated, into the chair by Draco, slowly moving piles of books in front of his face.
"WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!?! HOW IS IT." Hermione's rant of death continued unbroken by breath as Draco tried to make himself as invisible as he could; not daring to move, breathe, or blink. He was much too afraid that his head would also be devoured off. As for Harry. he tried to look as innocent as possible, but it was pretty hard to do that when his zipper was down.
Madam Pince, the librarian, didn't do a thing. She rolled her aged eyes and went back to her Harleton Novel, "Luna and George: the Wand that Tipped the Scale". She was used to it. Everyone was used to it, it happened every so often. Harry would fuck around (literally), Hermione would get enraged. She would scold him for a good ten minutes. Storm off. Forgive him. And it would start all over again. A chorus of sighs that seemed to say "not again" could be heard round the room from Hufflepuffs and Slytherins a like.
".YOU'LL BE SORRY WHEN YOU GET AIDS AND DIE! YOU'RE A SLUT!! A BIG FAT SLUT, HARRY POTTER! AND I'M SURPRISED PEOPLE EVEN WANT TO GO NEAR YOU KNOWING YOU'VE BEEN SHAGGING ANYTHING WITH TWO LEGS! YOU DIRTY.UH.MAN WHORE!!" Hermione hurriedly grabbed her things and stormed out of the library.
Draco had to put his hands over his mouth to stop his laughter. A quiet snicker escaped anyway.
Ha! MAN WHORE! Draco thought to himself.
"I'm not a man whore." Harry said sadly as he hung his head and walked dejectedly out of the library.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-
"Can you believe her Ron?" Harry was shouting himself as he complained and tossed the Quaffle up in the air. Harry had made his way to his grassy haven, also known as the Quidditch Field, after the argument in the library. He couldn't go back to the common room because SHE would be there. The evil 'fuzzy-headed-bitch' as Harry referred to her now. Ron just lay on the grass next to his best comrade, staring into the brilliant blue sky, listening to Harry vent on how Hermione always ruined his fun.
"SHE is probably just jealous because SHE isn't getting any. SHE'S always having her nose in a book. SHE would probably like reading about sex more than actually shagging anyone..." Harry sighed and breathed deeply; he dropped the red ball in his hands and closed his eyes, letting one hand journey through his unruly hair. He needed a plan- a plan to get that off his back once and for all. "Hey Ron. I have an idea!"
"The famous Harry Potter shags and thinks? Amazing." Ron laughed, his attention still riveted on the changing nimbus above him.
"Yeah, yeah. Hilarious! But really, Why don't you shag her?"
"Shag who?" Ron was on his elbows now.
"YOUR MOM!! Who in the bloody hell do you think? For crying out loud.Hermione you dolt!"
"What?!" Ron was on his feet now, pointing an accusing finger at the adolescent next to him. "I think you've gone off your rocker there buddy."
Harry was pacing back and forth, his genius and Ron stubborn refusal moving him. "C'mon.you'll get a little action (Harry squeezed his hands over Ron's chest). and I'll get Hermione off my case.and-"
Ron interrupted and pushed away the boy's intrusion. "No. Remember, You're the one that will shag anyone just for the hell of it. I would at least like to shag someone I fancy."
"Fine! Bloody fine!" Harry huffed and sat crossed legged and cross armed on the mowed grass. "I'm sure there are other people that would take my brilliant proposition into consideration."
"Psh. brilliant he says!" Ron's shook his red head sadly.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-
Hermione felt calm as she stared at the Dark Forest, visible through a window in the Gryffindor Common Room where she now resided. Crookshanks purred contentedly in her lap, but she decided she needed a break from the people in the small room with her. She was famished considering she skipped lunch and had used most of her energy to scold Harry. "So off to the kitchens, I suppose."
Hermione cursed Harry's name as she walked out of the scarlet and gold themed room to visit the house-elves for a pre-dinner snack. Mid-way through the gloomy dungeons she heard a familiar voice tentatively calling her name from down the hall.
"Hermione! Wait!" it was none other than Draco Malfoy, the Lucifer gone Angel Michael.
Hermione halted in her steps, ready to take on anything he threw at her. She swung around, rubbing her thumb across her lips before placing a haughty smirk on them. Something she had learned from the very boy who stood stunned in front of her. "What Draco? I am having an awful day and if you could be so nice to keep any insults shoved down your throat instead of saying them out loud. Much appreciated." The last bit oozed with sarcasm as she turned, walking forward.
Draco was taken aback. He didn't really know what to do. He was attempting to ask Hermione to the ball again, but he got shot down before he even had the chance to say anything! The Seeker simply hung his head down and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.
His hand shot out, desperately trying to grasp and stop her. "Er. well.. uh... i.." were the only words that managed to escape.
Hermione didn't have time for this.
"WAIT!" she stopped for a third time, this time genuinely annoyed. She cocked an eyebrow, hands on hips- waiting. "I mean 'wait.'
He sighed and jogged forward until they were adjacent, "Can I walk with you? To uh. where ever you're going?"
Now it was Hermione's turn to be stunned. "Umm. Sure.why not?"
Draco smiled in relief and together they started walking towards the recognizable picture of overly large fruit.
"So uh. Hermione. I don't know how to say this so I am just going to ask you." Draco's porcelain skin was flushed with cherry tints as he stammered out his words one by one.
Hermione tried to keep her cool as she walked patiently besides him. A sly grin attempted to steal onto her face, but she coughed and hid it from him yet. She didn't want Draco to know that she was incredibly interested in what she thought and wanted Draco to ask her.
"The ball. I was wondering. if you would...um...go with me?"
Hermione stopped and turned to look at him. The consistently smooth and cold boy's exterior was crumbling before her very eyes. Was tints before was now a full fledged crimson blush. He stared down, willing the ground to consume him. "Draco Malfoy," she chuckled, "Are you asking me to the Yule ball?"
"Umm.yes" he sputtered.
"Is this some kind of joke?" she took on a serious tone. She was not in the mood for any bull shit.
"No! No! No! Hermione. Look. I think you're a very nice girl. And honestly, there aren't that many decent girls left since Harry turned bimbo. I just want to go with someone that is smart, and not been infected with Potter fluid. So please? Will you go with me?" he had his arms out in front of him in an open pleading gesture.
Hermione was astonished. Dumbfounded. Draco Malfoy, THE ex-poster child for Junior Death Eaters around the world, had just asked her to the ball.
"Yes...sure.okay! I'll go with you!" It was her turn to blush as she gave him a heart wrenching smile.
"You will? Great!" And for the first time, they laughed together.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-
Dusk fell suddenly upon the two Gryffindor quidditch players and Ron's stomach told him it was time for dinner. Ron and Harry decided to start heading into the Great Hall. Ron was starving. Considering he had been on the Quidditch field devising knew plays all day and listening to Harry's endless rants and plans that involved, in the end, Hermione on her back.
"It's your own fault Ron!" Harry grumbled, "You could have eaten breakfast at least!"
Ron just let out an exaggerated moan as he clutched his stomach as if he was going to die of starvation any second, holding onto his friends shoulder with the other one. Harry rolled his eyes; Ron could be such a drama queen.
With the word breakfast echoing around in his mind, Harry couldn't help but remember how Draco got all nervous and tense when Harry was watching him this morning. He remembered exactly as those icy eyes pierced through him. Harry flattered himself with thinking about the way Draco had licked his lips he as his sultry gaze made him increasingly uncomfortable. The inspiring trickles of sweat forming on his forehead, His uneasy eyes shifting to from the door to Harry.
It was almost as if he.
