"Uh, sure, let them in."

Ryan, outside? Thoughts raced through Marissa's head as she watched her father leave the room. He was certainly the last person she expected to be waiting outside, but she reluctantly admitted to herself that her heart skipped a beat when she found out he was waiting outside. Somehow, she knew he'd be there, despite everything that happened between them since he arrived in Newport.

He walked inside, looking unsure as to whether he should sit or stand. Marissa's heart began beating rapidly when their eyes met, and she tried in vain to set her messy hair in order.

"Hi."

"Hi."

There was a brief moment of silence as they assessed each other, as if trying to learn what the other was thinking. Marissa motioned him to sit on the chair next to the bed and gave him a tentative smile, which he returned.

"My dad said that Seth was with you. Did he leave already?" Marissa said, desperately trying to fill in the awkward silence that was building.

"Uh, no, he's outside, looking for magazines." Ryan pretended not to notice Marissa's confused look. "He said he also wanted to talk to your dad about…some stuff." Goddammit Atwood, he thought to himself, if she didn't think you were an idiot then, she definitely does now.

"Oh, okay."

More silence.

"So, how are you-"

"About last night-"

They began speaking simultaneously, nervously laughing at how silly it all seemed. Ryan stood up and approached Marissa's bed, looking around the small, daintily decorated room. "You go first."

Marissa struggled to come up with something to say, trying to think of some kind of small talk-comment that would be appropriate for a situation like this. In a panic, she blurted the first thing that came to her head and immediately regretted it.

"Why are you here?"

Guilt flashed over Ryan's face before he looked away, unable to meet Marissa's questioning gaze. He felt cornered, like he didn't have a choice but to confront the issue that had been hanging over their heads for the last 24 hours. This is why you came here, he thought, don't wimp out now.

"I wanted to explain, or at least try to explain my actions last night," he began, raising his hand when Marissa tried to interrupt. "Please, you may not want to hear this, but I at least deserve a chance to make you understand."

Marissa considered his offer, wondering if any of it would make a difference. She made a choice last night that changed everything, and she didn't know if there was any way she could undo what has already been done, even if she wanted to. Still, she nodded her head, letting Ryan continue. Maybe she had some explaining to do, too.

"Thanks, I promise this won't take too much of your time." Ryan sat back down, trying to think of where to start. He looked down at his hands, knowing that he wouldn't make it if he looked at Marissa. "My life was a mess when I arrived here in Newport, and in many ways, it still is. I don't know what I'm going to do at the end of this summer, if I'm going to stay or go, because I'm still don't feel like I really belong here. You can change my clothes, my hair, but it doesn't change that fact that I'm an outsider. The Cohens have been great, but it seems like I've caused them nothing but grief since they decided to saddle themselves with me, and they are the last people I would want to burden with my troubles.  

"Throughout all this crap I've been going through, only one thing has been constant: my feelings for you. I don't know how it happened, but since we met outside your house, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. I knew you were dating Luke, but I didn't even care. All I knew is that I wanted to see you, to be with you, as much I could. Then the night you came over for dinner, I thought that maybe there was a chance that you felt the way I do, but you still chose to stay with Luke in the hospital. It almost killed me when you said I didn't need to wait for you that night, but I dealt with it, because I knew that you and Luke had a past, and you needed to be there for him after he got shot. So I kept waiting, hoping that someday you'd choose me."

Ryan stood up and walked to the window, looking out at the town that didn't want him. "But you didn't. When you came to the Crab Shack a few days ago, you seemed so torn between Luke and me, but something inside me knew even then that you would choose Luke in the end. I thought I would get over it, but seeing you with Luke at the party was just too much for me to handle. It was clear to me that you had made your choice, and there was nothing I could do or say to change your mind. So I ran to the pool house and hid there, only to be discovered by Gabby. I'm not going to justify our actions, because I know what we did was wrong. I'm sorry you had to see us, but I'm not sorry for doing what we did. I just needed to feel something other than pain, even just for a brief moment."

He turned to face Marissa, surprised to see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. "I've never been so close to love before, only to have it taken away from me so quickly. But maybe I was a fool to believe you would even choose me in the first place."

Marissa took a deep breath, trying to sort out all the emotions that were tumbling through her. She never knew that his feelings so closely mirrored her own, and she realized now that she made the wrong choice. But like she said the night before, it was already too late.

"Where do we go from here?" she whispered, afraid of Ryan's answer.

"I don't know," he walked to the door, resisting the urge to beg and plead, "Maybe we should take some time to think about all this. I want to stay friends, but I don't know if we can anymore."

Marissa nodded, knowing in her heart that he was right. "Okay, so… I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," Ryan shrugged noncommittally, "I'll see you around. Hope you feel better soon."

And with those ten short words, he left the room. Not long after the door clicked closed, Marissa's hands came to her face, and her sobs echoed in the cold, empty room.