[ Friday, December 23, 2022 - 4:30pm ]

The Friday before Christmas Eve was slow, and the squad at Manhattan SVU were cherishing a few moments to laugh with each other before the holiday weekend.

"Thanks for working this weekend, you three," Olivia says sincerely as she squeezes Velasco's arm.

"Why am I always the one stuck with the puppy squad?" Fin whines from his desk. "They ain't even potty trained yet."

"Come on, Serg. You know you love us…" Velasco winks as he sips his coffee cup, the liquid inside now cold after sitting on his desk for hours. He winces at the flavor, but finishes the contents anyway.

"You know, I got a fiancé at home. She'd like to spend the holidays with me," Fin tries.

"Hey, I'll bring donuts in the morning, if that helps!" Grace Muncy laughs as she sits on the corner of her desk. She holds her hands out to mimic an offering in Fin's direction.

He purses his lips and eyes her, considering the offer.

Olivia rolls her eyes, "Don't bullshit me, Fin. I know Phoebe is working too, and you both have that trip to the Bahamas planned through New Years, so… You owe me this," Olivia says.

"Aight look, I know ya'll got kids at home. While you're makin' precious memories, don't forget old Odafin Tutuola, and the sacrifices he made for his brothers and sisters," Fin says dramatically.

Olivia pats him on the back and squeezes his shoulder, "Thank you for your service, Sergeant. Your plaque is in the mail."

Olivia glides toward her office, "Why don't you all head home for the night while you have the chance. Have a nice weekend. Detective Muncy… You got a minute?"

Grace, a little surprised, eyes Fin who shrugs. "Nice working with ya while it's lasted, kid," he chuckles to himself as she walks by.

Olivia draws the blinds as she invites Grace in and gestures for her to sit on the couch at the back of her office.

"Please, have a seat. Would you like some tea?" Olivia offers.

"Oh, uh… Sure- Yes please," Grace stammers as she plops down on the couch and awkwardly fiddles with her own fingers in her lap. Not sure what to do with her words or her limbs all of a sudden. She hasn't quite figured out how to navigate the starstruck paralysis that accompanies being in the presence of Captain Olivia Benson.

"So, how are you doin', Detective?" Olivia asks warmly, handing her a teaming cup of what smells like mint tea, and joining her on the couch.

"I'm uh, I'm good— Doing well. How are you?" Grace furrows her brow at how plain she probably sounds. She's not sure why she's been invited into the Captain's office, whether she's in trouble or not, so she doesn't want to make it any worse if she can avoid it.

"Oh, you know... Doing my best." Olivia admits. She's been in therapy, working through, digging into really, some of her deeper seated PTSD lately. It's hard, but she thinks it's helping now.

"Isn't that all we can do? Our best…" Grace says.

"That's right, Grace. That's exactly right." Olivia smiles, and Grace is taken back by her Captain's choice to use her first name.

"So, what do you have planned for the holidays?" Olivia asks in an attempt to lighten the mood as she sits back and crosses her left leg over her right. She brings her mug of tea up to her lips and takes a small sip, eyeing Grace's still uneasy face. "You're not in trouble, Detective. I just wanted to take advantage of this rare moment of downtime to check in with you."

"I— Okay. Thank you for that. I was a little worried—" Grace sighs heavily and her whole body relaxes into the couch.

Olivia gives her an empathetic smile. She finds it sweet how much this new detective wants to impress her, but she's also reminded of her position here. One of power, power that she's worked so hard for. She doesn't ever want her people to feel intimidated by her. Perps, absolutely. Her squad, no. She wants them to respect her, of course, but she never wants them to be scared of her.

"So…" Olivia prods.

"Oh! Um, well you know I'm working so… That's about it…" Grace shrugs.

Olivia hums and pauses to give her space to continue.

"I like it. Working through the holidays. Gives me something to do. Keeps me busy, out of trouble." Grace laughs nervously.

Olivia knows from her answer she must not have much in the way of family around. She knows that move all too well. Throwing herself into her work as a distraction from the missing pieces of her own life.

"Family? I heard you mention that your mother is no longer with us…" Olivia says softly.

"Yeah… She passed away when I was real young. It had always been just me and her before that, so I grew up living with my brother after that. He's older and was already an adult, so…" Grace blurts out. She hasn't quite mastered how to explain that part of her past either.

"Mmm, that's a hard story to carry. No wonder you're so tough. Thank you for sharing that with me." Olivia reaches over and squeezes Grace's shoulder, and for once she doesn't feel pitied for her past, but seen.

Olivia can't help but see herself in the younger woman sitting before her. She's seen it from the first case they worked on together. Her fire, her tenacity, her loyalty to her squad, her empathy with survivors. She's a good cop.

Grace looks at her and smiles, a huff of relief blowing between them. She doesn't really talk about her past much because she's usually met with judgment. To be accepted, and even complimented for it was new… An alien feeling that might even chip into the walls she's thrown up over time. Maybe.

"Thanks for askin'," Grace says, taking a sip of tea. "I don't really have any friends, so I don't mind working around this time. Beats the loneliness. Besides, Velasco is pretty cool. Really looks out for me; He's a great partner." She looks fondly out the window at Velasco and Fin packing up their stuff to leave.

"He is," Olivia agrees.

Grace smiles sweetly and nods her head, turning back to Olivia.

"Detective, I just want you to know that you're doing a great job. I know I've been a little tough on you, but it's because I know you can do well here." Olivia says as she gets up and walks over to her desk. She pulls out a gift bag and a box wrapped in the same design of snowflakes, trees, reindeer and foxes.

"This is for you," Olivia says, handing her the packages.

Grace immediately looks around, as if the gifts could be for someone else.

"Oh... You didn't have to… I didn't get you anything." She stammers. She's always hated receiving gifts. Deep down she felt like maybe she never really deserved them, so she doesn't know what to do with herself on the rare occasion she gets one.

"Don't worry. Everyone else got something from me too. Just open it. Please." Olivia says, pushing the gift closer to her.

Grace sighs in defeat, but smiles again. She looks down at the packages in front of her and begins with the gift bag. She pulls the tissue paper out and peers inside to see a bag of Hot Cheetos. She looks up at Olivia, who has a cute little smirk on her face now. Okay, Captain Benson has a sense of humor.

She recalls the time she was caught by the Captain, beating up the vending machine in search of a snack, Hot Cheetos, specifically. Much to her surprise, Olivia had reached her arm into the machine to fish something out for her. Cashews were the only thing she could reach, but the young detective didn't care. She was more blown away by the quirky little show of camaraderie her new Captain was displaying.

"From the vending machine. I know those have their own special flavor," Olivia winks. "You still like those, right?" She laughs.

"Still my favorite!" Grace giggles back. "Thank you, Captain."

"That was really just a gag gift. Please… Open the rest." Olivia nods her head toward the other package. Long, wide, and flat, much resembling a clothing box from some department store.

When she gets the wrapping paper off, Grace sees that it is in fact a Nordstrom box. She opens the lid, which Olivia takes from her and places behind her on the couch, out of the way. Grace studies the clothing item, perfectly folded to fit in this box, before she pulls it out and holds it up.

"A blazer…" Grace says. Okay two for two, she's really loving this lady's humor. "You got me a blazer? Do you not like the one I got? I went with gray… Neutral."

"No, the one you got is very nice! It looks great on you. Adds a professional touch, don't you think? I got you this one because it wouldn't hurt to have more than one. Switch it up sometimes." Olivia says sincerely.

"Ah, it's beautiful. Thank you," Grace says, studying the blazer.

"It's navy blue, with cream colored satin lining. Also neutral, can go with any color…" Olivia explains.

Grace looks up at that comment. She wonders if Olivia is alluding to her color blindness and begins getting self conscious. Velasco must have said something… Damnit… Well, if she does know, she is being very kind about it rather than the ostracizing remarks she's gotten her whole life about it. That's why she doesn't mention it much. People never really know how to respond when they find someone is different.

"Navy, with silver buttons. It would go with most of the shirts you've already worn here." Olivia continues.

She knows. She knows and she's embracing her for it. Grace feels her throat tighten and swallows the rogue emotion that bubbles there.

"Wow, I love it, Captain. I really appreciate it," She says, getting up to try the blazer on.

"Oh, it looks so good on you!" Olivia clasps her hands together gleefully. Clearly pleased with herself and the outcome of her shopping endeavors. "You look sharp, detective. This color really makes your blue eyes pop."

Grace smiles and turns to find her reflection in the interrogation room window, as she stretches her arms out and turns side to side checking herself out.

She notices another small package tucked in the corner of the Nordstrom box, and she sits back down on the couch. She picks up the soft, dark velvet clamshell box that says Me in shiny letters on top and gives Olivia a questioning look. Olivia is smiling sweetly, sentimentally almost - Willing her with her eyes to open it.

When Grace opens the box, she finds a silver, rectangular shaped pendant, hanging vertically on a dainty silver chain with the word FEARLESSNESS engraved down the center in black letters, all caps. She runs her thumb over the letters, the feel of the texture and the cool metal absorbing through her skin.

"Fearlessness", she says under her breath, almost to herself.

"The work we do here, Detective… It's challenging, troublesome, hard work. It's also deeply important, and meaningful work. Sometimes it's difficult to remember why we do it. But we do it for the survivors, and those we've lost. Those who need to reclaim their voice and their power, their light and for those who don't have a voice." Olivia pauses to breathe through the tears pooling in her eyes.

Then, she continues, "This necklace is engraved with the word, Fearlessness as a reminder that embracing fearlessness inspires us to approach life with an open heart and to be strong in the face of life's adversities."

"I— I don't know what to say, Captain. It's beautiful… So special. Th-Thank you." Grace says, slowly unwinding it from the packaging.

"I've had a few different versions of this necklace myself. There was a time… When I wore them all the time. When I needed the reminder of my fierceness, that fearlessness that I needed to push through." Olivia says, gesturing for Grace to turn around so she could put the necklace on her.

Olivia recalls her own journey with this necklace. She wore the first one, for several years while Elliot was her partner. The smaller, gold one that hung horizontally on a gold chain that she had paired with the round lotus pendant for years. She never took those off. After Elliot left, she wore them for a short time along with his Semper Fi pendant he'd sent her. Then, one day, she tucked them away neatly in her jewelry box. Tucking him away.

Then she had a silver one, identical to this one she's gifting to Grace. She felt so badass in that one, almost like a soldier with a dog tag that labeled her as fearless. She still has that one, it hangs from the lamp on her dresser.

She then upgraded to the gold version about a year later, and she wore that with pride. It was a bold piece, bright and shiny against her olive skin; a statement. She lost that one during her abduction with Lewis. While he had her locked in the trunk of a car, she had managed to pull it from her neck and left it behind as a clue, in hopes that her squad would find it in their search for her. That necklace ended up in evidence, and she thought she'd never see it again, until Dr. Lindstrom gave her a brand new one just like it. A reminder that she is still fearless, even when she feels as though she's not.

She wore that one for a long time, until she met Ariel, one of the girls who was abducted and trafficked by Johnny D. Ariel's mother never gave up on finding her daughter and she had helped Olivia and the squad find her and the other girls. Later, Olivia gave Ariel her that gold fearlessness necklace when she was working with the girls to tell their stories in order to put Johnny D. away for good. "Fearlessness. It works," she said.

"Why don't you wear it anymore?" Grace asks.

Olivia pauses and considers her question. She brings her right hand up to her own heart and rubs a little circle there.

"I'm wearing it here, now." She whispers.

Grace smiles at her strong, fierce, compassionate Captain as Olivia takes her hands in her own.

"Us women, we gotta look out for each other, you know?" Olivia says, squeezing her hand.

Grace nods.

"I want to tell you one more thing before you go. Something my Captain told me years ago. Something I wish someone had told me sooner, to be honest. Think about what you want outside of the job. Find what makes you happy and do that. There's more to life than the job, and you deserve that. You deserve happiness, Grace Muncy. Do you hear me?" Olivia says, clearing her throat to disguise the break in her voice. Words Olivia has heard that she knows to be true for anyone, even though she struggles to believe for herself. She's trying though. She really is. She might even be ready to celebrate Christmas with family this year.

A tear escapes and rolls down Grace's cheek as she tries to absorb those words. She's never felt she deserves anything, but she'll try. She will. She nods again in agreement. "I hear you. I do. Thank you Captain, truly."

"Good. Well… We better get out of here. I have a kid waiting for Spaghetti night. We're making biscotti cookies tonight." Olivia says, as she stands from the couch, straightening her clothes.

Grace gathers her things and heads to the door.

"Merry Christmas, Detective Muncy." Olivia smiles.

Grace turns back before opening the door, "Merry Christmas, Captain Benson."