Authors notes: Sorry this took so long; I wanted to get it somewhat right... Tried not to make this too adult. Warning: sex, somewhat described within.
Tegan had traveled with the Doctor for over three years. She had begun to understand Time. Time, in her mind, somewhere had acquired a capital T. She had seen how it interacted, interlaced, stretched and contracted, flipped and flopped. She knew it was relative. But she didn't understand how it could juststand still.
And yet, it was a moment she didn't want to end. She could smell his wet skin, sweet and fresh, and felt a lone raindrop as it ran from his hair down his cheek, grazing their met mouths. His lips were incredibly cool, reminding her of the river that they had forged. It was beautiful, wonderful, unexpected and yet, strangely fated, she supposed. She ached for the taste he was giving her. Her exhaustion eased a little and she raised her hands to slip them around his neck, under his hair and down his back. When he eased back, it was only to allow her to suck at his lower lip. And that produced shivers in them both.
"Are you cold?" he croaked hoarsely. He eased his arm down to gather her closer.
"A man to whom freezing weather is a spring time walk asking if I'm cold?" she joked, gently. "No, Doc, I'm not cold."
"Ah, yes. Excitation causing increased blood flow to the surface of the skin and increased nerve responseyou know, Tegan? I've always found human sexuality and sensuality to be incredibly interesting. How a simple melding of mouths and tongues can elicit such a response"
"Just humans?" she asked, coyly.
"Yes, wellusually it takes a little concentration, Tegan," he cleared his throat, but his voice still caught and lowered in timber. "For Gallifreyans, that is."
She nuzzled his neck and listened to him hum in response. As they embraced, her blanket loosened and fell about her shoulders. She wasn't quite sure who held the blanket and who urged it to fall a little. Either way, during their mutual nuzzling and kissing, it fell to her waist. Her skin had dried enough that she wasn't chilled, or maybe it was the increased blood flow to its surface that warmed her.
"Ah, Tegan" he sighed as his hands fell to the edge of the rough blanket. "If I were less of a gentlemanI could possibly take advantage."
"Gentlemen have sex, Doc; they just do it with manners and style," she joked bluntly. His answering laugh was deep and lodged in his chest as he kissed her nose and brushed his lips against hers again.
"Is that where this is taking us, Tegan?"
"What?"
"Sex."
She was sure she was going to die of embarrassment. She tried to back away from him, but the rough blanket about her legs caught on the ground and worked like a restraining rope. Part of the spell that had been cast over them dispersed. "Rabbits! I should have; I didn't mean; oh cripes."
"No, Tegan," he sighed, slipping his hands around her waist. "Noit was only a question."
He drew her in for a deep kiss, effectively silencing her embarrassment and her statements. She felt like she was drowning in their embrace; she felt like she was being held high in the clean air. His lips were everything; they together were everything. The rain ceased to fall, the wind ceased to blow, she couldn't sense anything and yet she could feel everything. His tongue gently coaxed hers to join his in a friendly dance, like the mambo, like the samba, sensuous and wonderfully melodic.
When he pulled away, she forgot to breathe and she felt like she was dancing on the edge of a flame. "I would have never expected thisfrom you" she whispered.
"Yes, well" he murmured, his lips teasing her earlobe. The words were soft, said into the curve of her ear. "As I said, Tegan, I'm feeling.more. Sensing more. I can feel youryour heatit is quitearousing."
He must have felt her smile, because his finger traced it. "I've felt it; noticed it most of the day. And it seems to be attracting and infecting a very male part of me. Interesting, isn't it? Like two large, overwhelming magnets."
"So," she whispered in return, as she closed her eyes to savor his touch.
He eased his face back and she felt his breath brush her cheek. "I care for you, Tegan. A great deal. I can't explain more; I don't know more. But I do know that this feels"
"Right," she agreed. She pressed a kiss to the sensitive skin where his shoulder and neck joined. "I feel like we're in a limbo, Doc. I hate limbo. Let's go forward"
"We might regret it," he sighed, dejection lodging in his voice. "It might"
"I need to do something, Doc. Remaining as we are can't happen. That part of our friendship is well and truly dead. We killed it. In the warehouse. I killed it when I walked away and you stuck your oar in when you stopped me."
He laughed at the allusion and she smiled in response. The smile lessened as his hands rose to her shoulders, gently cupping the skin. "Oh, very well, Miss Tegan" he joked quietly.
Throwing all concern of their friendship to the four winds, she tenderly led his hands down to her chest. His kiss at the same time stole her breath and there was very little she could think about; her mind was overwhelmed by sensation.
**
Moonlight and mud, rain and trees and leaves and drips. In his arms, their clothes torn from the rocks above to tuck under her head, her hips, her buttocks, she lay on her back. The blanket had disappeared and she was naked. Images assaulted her mind. They were the images from the street, from that Joiba. They were images of 'what could happen, if you let it'. They overlapped, swirling, muddying where she was, what she was doing.
The shock of his lips on her chin, on her neck made her shiver. One vision of him was still above her, gazing down at her while another was gently nuzzling her neck, his head tucked under her chin. The one above smiled and ran his hands through her hair; the Doctor muttered nonsense words against her skin. She was being wrapped in a blanket of sensuality and mixing universes.
"Doctor," she whispered softly to both of them, to one of them.
"Tegan," replied the solid Doctor. He raised his head to gaze at her; she could see his blue eyes, dark in the night.
There was nothing else to say. What else was there to say? Friends turned lovers, there was no need to tell one or the other what would they like or need. There was an understanding.
There was desperation. Sweet, bittersweet, and warm, there was a level of desperation in the kisses he gave her lips; there was a level of desperation in the way she held his shoulders. Both were awkward. He was awkward from lack of knowledge of what to do, and how to do it. But the desperation was his driving force. She could sense that he wasn't willing to see their friendship die but was unable to truly understand where it was going, where it had to go. She was awkward because she did understand what was happening, where their friendship had to go. Their fumbling was from inexperience and the pure driving need of each other that had driven them to that point.
There was tenderness. Her touch to his cheek, to his shoulder, to sweep his hair back from his eyes was done with gentle caresses. What wasn't said with her mouth was portrayed with her hands. He delicately laid kisses on her brow, her eyelids, her neck and lips. The way he nuzzled her, employing infinite care in use of tongue and lips spoke a myriad of words that would never, ever emanate from his mouth. She gently, slowly, eased the zipper of his trousers down and kissed away his embarrassment, his insecurity as he sharply inhaled. Thoughtfulness of caress, affection in the breathed sighs, the gentle kiss, the aching, unsure touch, it all showed their caring for one another.
There was only one moment of hesitation. He hesitated over her, his arms tense, his hair falling over his brow. She lay under him, her legs wrapped about his hips, cradling him, lovingly holding his cool body to her heat. She could feel him, cold, almost startling so against her heat. The rain had stopped and the moon had peaked from the heavy clouds overhead. She saw his sad smile in the dim light it afforded.
"Doc?"
He shook his head and she quieted.
In her overlapping dream vision, she heard him saying loving words, whispering to her that he didn't want to let her go that he cared deeply. That he would be lost without her, that part of him had died when she had begun to run from him. The voice was weak, but she felt the overwhelming honesty in them. He didn't understand the feelings; couldn't understand them. But he felt a need to be intimate with her. The attraction of her femininity to his masculine side drove him nearly edgy with need.
But this Doctor, this real Doctor, lying cradled against her body, had his expression changing between almost sad caring and fascination. Knowing he was lost, she reached up to pull him down into a kiss. Right before they touched, she whispered a quiet: "It's all right, Doctor."
"Quite all right," he agreed his voice so very hoarse that she barely recognized it. "Tegan." Her name was said in a breath, against the tender skin of her lips and she shivered from the touch.
Knowing she had to make the final decision on their joining, she nibbled at his lips, suckling the tender lower one between her own lips. His sharp intake of breath was followed by her running her fingers through his hair and pulling him closer. She lewdly, more in an effort to remove further thinking from his mind than to be outlandishly erotic, traced his lips with her tongue. He tasted like a fresh water icicle. After a moment, he growled low in his throat and captured her mouth almost brutishly hard. His tongue chased hers back into her mouth and they melded like water and ice, fire and flame.
Her legs tightened and urged him closer. And then there was no argument, no decisions, no worries or cares. They joined in a firestorm of sensation which ignited both of them. The dream vision Doctor arched his back as they joined, moaned her name and slowly dissipated into nothing. There was nothing but the Doctor and her and the primal rhythm into which they fell.
Her moans of passion and his answering grunts filled the surrounding forest like symphony written for the moon, a celebration of the most basic joining that could occur between a man and a woman. They grew in pitch, neither caring to stifle what came naturally from them. Her nails dug into his shoulders; his fingers left bruises on her hips. Her lips bit at his neck; his lips left marks on her shoulders. She gazed at him, trying to burn his passion flushed, pleasure ridden face in her mind. His eyes were closed as if he savoring heaven.
Her completion rushed to meet her; she fought to keep her eyes open. One of his hands fell to her leg to hike it higher on his hip, to deepen their joining. His other hand rose to her hair, burying in the curls. The touch of his lips, tenderly, sweetly, almost chastely against her chin combined with the natural rhythm of her body forced her into release. Her eyes closed. In her self-imposed darkness, she heard his moan, felt his breath stop and felt the minute shiver that ran through his body.
And then, in the sudden quiet filled with their harsh panting, she heard her name said with reverence and caring. She smiled and answered his call with his own name whispered back. And then, as he made room for himself, turning her toward the rock, towards safety, he spooned behind her, his arm falling protectively around her hips. The lack of sleep for the last three days overwhelmed her and she fell into slumber.
**
"Are you awake, Tegan?"
She blinked her eyes open and found her face barely six inches from the rock. It was dark gray with a hint of green lichen growing on its surface. She took a deep breath and nodded, not trusting her voice. A nudge to his arm had her turning over. He remained where he was.
"Cripesis it late?"
"Not very," he answered his voice hoarse. She noticed that he was still naked and that they were both covered in the sole blanket that had made the journey with them. "We will have to be on our way again very soon, however. Chitzen Itza is not far away, maybe six or seven miles to the north, northeast."
She nodded and then rubbed at her temple. "Rabbits! Sleeping on rock is worse than a night binge on alcohol," she complained. "I feel like I have a hangover."
"Yes, well" he muttered, his hand raising to rub at his neck. "It is rather primitive conditions."
Tegan agreed, wincing with a frown. She lay down on her back and gazed up at him. He stared off at the rock, his eyes hooded and his lips tight. "Doc"
"Yes, Teganwe should get moving" he said quietly and levered up off the ground with a bounce in his step. The blanket dropped back around her hips gently, as if he had adjusted with his own hand. Amazed that he was standing in front of her completely naked, Tegan found a giggle pushing out of her lips before she could stop it. He glanced about for his trousers and frowned, his hands falling to his hips. She rolled over and glanced to the bush and tree next to their rocky outcropping. His trousers rested on one of the branches.
"Hmm, did you toss them there or did I?" Tegan asked innocently.
"You were more keen to have me out of them than I was, Tegan," he responded. She watched as he frowned and began to climb down out of their small camp to retrieve them. Almost playfully, she turned over on her stomach to continue watching his performance. She was surprised to see the marks on his shoulders and a small bruise on his hip where she had pressed her foot the night before. The slight purple blemishes didn't detract from his lean muscular form and she watched the beauty of his body in motion. His arms flexed, his buttocks tightened as he moved hand over hand down the slight cliff to the ground. As he retrieved his trousers shook them out and lifted an eyebrow. "Enjoying the show, are you, Tegan?"
"I would have never taken you for an exhibitionist," she returned.
"I'm not," he stated, haughtily. As he climbed into his clothes, he glanced up at her again. "We really should get moving."
"Give me a moment," she replied. Opting to be as shocking as the Doctor had been, she rose, allowing the blanket to fall to the ground at her feet. She bent to gather her skirt and the top. Carefully not looking at the Doctor, she put on her clothes. When she finished, she glanced at him. He was frozen, openly gaping at her, his trousers half-zipped. "You'll need your shirt."
"Bring it down, will you?"
She laughed then. His voice was barely recognizable. He cleared his throat.
As she turned to scale down the side of the cliff, she stopped and met his gaze. He had finished pulling up his trousers and was running his hands through his hair. "Are we all right, Doc?" she asked quietly.
"Well, of course we are, Tegan. We're alive; where's there's life, there's hope," he calmly stated. "And this hike today isn't in danger of killing either one of us, I should think."
"That wasn't what I meant," she replied simply. Then she climbed down.
When she reached the ground he was self-consciously staring at his feet. She held out his shirt on one finger as if it hung on a coat rack.
"Ah, wellI suppose you're referring to" he waved his hand toward their camp. It was clear of evidence from the their night. "Yes, wellit is rather late toregret what occurred." He stopped and shrugged into his shirt. "You don't regret it, do you?"
"No," she said quietly. "No, it's not like that. I don't regret it, but it is rather strange. I feel as though very little has changed"
"Very little has changed," he retorted. "We simply mated, Tegan."
"There's no simply about it," she warned. "But no, I don't regret it at all. It was quite pleasurable. Very"
"Extremely," he offered. He finished buttoning his shirt and approached her, his hands falling to her shoulders. "We both knew something had to occur with this friendship, yes? Something new, something different. It couldn't continue."
She nodded. "To tell the truth"
"Please."
"It felt right."
He agreed kindly. "It did, Tegan. It did at that. But I suggest that we have a talk about this all in a few days. We're too close to it."
"You're calm about it, Doc."
"Getting upset would only worsen the matter," he suggested. "Are you ready? We can talk as we go"
She sighed. The Doctor turned and walked away from her, holding the GPS in his hand. After a moment, she shook her head, understanding that the relationship had changed, but the Doctor was most definitely as he always had been. She fell into step behind him; some things would never change. He always was in front.
