Song by Barenaked Ladies, called Falling For The First Time.

I have been by myself for most of the day, and trying to figure out what is going on inside my head. All these new feelings, what do I feel for Max? Love or lust? If its love then i will be with him, but lust? I would hurt him if it was just lust, and that would not be fair on him. So what can I do? I'm sharing a room with him, and I don't want to swap with anyone else, how do I keep him away? And do I want him to stay away from me? No. Simple answer. No. I want Max next to me. Would this mean that its love? Could it be love? And do I want love right now? Yes. Another simple answer. Good on you Kai! Be right to the point and forget any reasons. But what about my grandfather? If he finds out.................... If. What a strange word, only used to think of a 50/50 thing.

* I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser. I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out. I'm so brave, too bad I'm a baby. I'm so fly, that's probably why it Feels just like I'm falling for the first time *

But I should be thinking about Max, and how he would feel. This is hard, I'm not used to such emotions, and now I find myself having to think about Max and how he would feel, I have to make myself care more than I normally do. A challenge. I'm not fond of these challenge's, one's where I have to, no, MUST deal with a person's emotion. Ofcourse I have rarely done so. This challenge though, with Max, i want to do it, I want to pick up this challenge and win. I just don't know how. I have walked around the deck a few times now, ever since lunch was over I left to think, and to do that I walked around the boat deck. The sun is now setting, once again the sea is eatting the bright, firey sun, but the sun will always reappear once again. If I was with Max, would there be a chance that I would be the sea and he the sun? But if I did distroy him, would he appear the next day normal and happy? Or would he vanish? Disappear without a trace? This is 50/50, an if, and I don't know if I want to risk Max's happiness just to make me feel things that I have never felt, or can't remember, before. Is it fair? I don't think so.

'Kai?' I turned to see amber eyes looking at me with slight concern.

'What is it Rei?' I asked the Chinese boy.

'Where were you? We all wondered why you didn't show up for dinner,' Rei told me, and I smirked slightly.

'I needed to think Rei,' I informed him, he would not ask me for details, seeing as he 'knows me so well.'

'About your grandfather?' Rei asked me, his eyes showed gentleness. Its amazing how much emotions your eyes can show, I wonder if mine dod that from time to time?

'Yea,' I said and sighed, to Rei it sounded like one of dispair..........

'He won't be able to make you his tool again,' Rei assured me.

If only he knew what I really was sighing about, one of gratefulness that he has not figured out yet that I care about Max. I feel like I'm falling now. Now my emotions are out of control, and I canvt block them up, push them aside.

'Max said he'd order you a pizza, so just go to your room in an hour, unless your finished thinking?' Rei asked me, but I shook my head. Rei just nodded and left me alone.

I like Rei, he's an all right guy. But there is something about him, he's so much like me, and yet he's so much like Max too. He can be serious one minute and then happy and excited the next, I think that's why I would not like him in the way that I like Max. He's like me and yet he's not, besides I think we'd fight more often that not, and his personality switches from serious to happy that I could not take it. Huh, its getting cold, I'd better go in and see Max. Should he be in our room.

* I'm so green, it's really amazing. I'm so clean, too bad I can't get all the dirt off of me. I'm so sane, it's driving me crazy. It's so strange, I can't believe it. Feels just like I'm falling for the first time *

Opening the door I saw Max lying on the bed looking at his beyblade. He then turned his head and looked at me, with a smile on his face.

'Kai, where've you been?' Max asked me, sitting up, his legs off the bed.

'On the boat deck,' I said, trying to appear detatched.

'Not avoiding me, are you?' Max asked me, and my plan had decided to fly out the window.

'No, I had to think about....... About what happened this morning,' I told him, and he nodded.

'How do you mean?' He didn't understand, not fully.

'My grandfather Max, he won't go to jail, and even if he does, what will we do should he find out about this?' I asked him; 'It may sound selfish Max, but once we're off this ship, maybe we should just part ways,'

'Part ways?' Max said in utter confusion.

Why was he making this so hard? Am I actually in love with this idiot? No. Max isn't an idiot, Tyson is. Tyson = idiot. Right.

'Yes Max. It would be safer for you to do that,' I told him, but he did not look convinced.

'No Kai. If we have a relationship on this ship, it will carry on off the ship too,' Max said, sounding stubborn.

* Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost. What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time? What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind. It feels just like I'm falling for the first time. It feels just like I'm falling for the first time. *

'Max, please, you have to believe on this one all right? I do care about you, I'm not lying about that, but my grandfather is a powerful man, and you saw first hand how powerful he was,' I told him, but Max wasn't going to move.

'Was, Kai. Past tense, he doesn't have that kind of power any more. Your just scared of these new emotions!' Max exclaimed, and that shocked me.

'Afraid? Me?' ia sked him, but he shook his head.

'No, I said scared,' Max repeated.

'Max, I am more than willing to learn about these new emotions with your help. But no matter what you say, i know my grandfather, and he will get people on the outside to check up on me,' I told him, and he looked surprised; 'He does this everytime that I am on my own at the mansion,'

'But what could they do to you?' Max asked me.

'Beat me up is a first,' I told him and he paled a bit.

'Your grandfather not only makes you a tool for BioVolt, and his quest for world domination, but also has people watching you, and if you put a foot wrong they'll beat you up on his behalf?' Max asked me, making sure that he heard right, and I nodded; 'That's.......... How can he do that? Your his grandson!' Max seemed really upset now.

'Max, calm down,' I said sitting next to him, and rubbing his back.

'But how can he do that? Why does he do that?' Max ask me, his eyes filling up with tears that he tried to blink down.

'Its the kind of man that he is, calm down Maxie,' I said, pulling him towards me, and allowing his head to rest on my shoulder while I stroked his hair; 'Just calm down,'

'I never thought you'd say that, esspecailly in a soft voice,' Max commented, putting his arms around me.

'My grandmother used to do that to me, when I was little,' I informed him, and added; 'I don't know what happened to her. I can't remember,'

'Its okay, at least you remember her,' Max said to me, and then there was a knock on the door.

* I'm so chill, no wonder it's freezing. I'm so still, I just can't keep my fingers out of anything. I'm so thrilled to finally be failing. I'm so done, turn me over cause it. Feels just like I'm falling for the first time *

A man came in with my pizza, which I would share with Max, ofcourse. I'm not greedy. Not really. But at least Max has cheered up a bit, that is what I am grateful for, but I know we will go back to that conversation in time. Its very strange, Max started to talk about what if battles, like what if Johnny had pointed to Rei and not myself. Which caused a debate amongest us, Max thought Rei could win, but I thought better of it, fire against metal? No. Rei would lose. Then it went onto myself battling Oliver, at which point I nearly started to choke on the pizza.

'Oliver? Against Dranzer?' I asked him shocked.

'Your right, Dranzer would win for sure,' Max said, sounding sure; 'If Dranzer took off to the sky and then attacked, Unicolion would be defenseless,'

'Yea,' I nodded, eatting my pizza slowly.

'Are you still worried?' Max asked me.

And we're back.

'Yea. Max there is no way I can keep you safe once we get home,' I told him.

'It doesn't matter Kai, we'll think of something, we always do,' Max informed me, and I nodded.

Poor Maxie. I don't want him hurt, I know those watcher's would not only hurt me, but him too. Relationships of any kind are out, as far as my grandfather is concerned. I should be focused on beyblade and nothing else. But its hard when you've fallen for someone, and suddenly realising that you'll land with a thud if you keep seeing them. And they will land with a bang, and not wanting the person to be hurt you have to protect them. Even if it means breaking their heart. But I love Max. Its not lust, lust can easily be given up, love cannot, and this is causing a problem. I have to hurt Max to save him....................... But not right now. I'll make this boat trip one that will remain in our memories forever.

* Anything plain can be lovely, anything loved can be lost. Maybe I lost my direction, what if our love is the cost? Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost. What if I lost my direction? What if I lost sense of time? What if I nursed this infection? Maybe the worst is behind *