Author's Note:
I will preface this by saying it's probably going to be a pretty long author's note, and it is not inherently necessary for the story, so if you would like to skip the notes completely then you can.
If the title isn't hint enough, this story is a rewrite of my story "A Moon's Winter" I wrote four years ago. I think I was in 8th grade at the time, with no more than half a year of writing experience in the first place. It was a Winterwatcher story I wrote because I was unsatisfied with the book ten resolution, and was intended to be no more than a one-shot just for fun. I wrote it, published it, and then promptly forgot about it. I moved onto other things, worked on other stories, and stuck to my ground of keeping it a one-shot.
Yet despite everything I've said, it still ended up becoming my most viewed story by far, and my most requested story to be continued. And guess what, peer pressure works. Congratuations. So I'm going to continue it, four years later. But I didn't want to pick up where I left off before, especially with how much I've improved since then. It would have seemed very jarring in comparision to the original story, and overall I generally wasn't happy with A Moon's Winter in the first place.
So I rewrote it. I think you'll find that it is very different in overall tone and characterization than the original. This isn't going to be a one-shot like the original. This is going to end up being a slow burn romance between the two, mostly with a lot of slice-of-life type chapters, and with a sprinkling of political conflict between tribes for flavor. I wanted to make the characters and story more deep than what I had originally, and I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone and try a true chapter story for the first time. I personally am excited for where this will go, and I hope it is at the very least as enjoyable as the original.
Before we get into the story, I want to put it out there that I can't make any promises as far as upload schedule goes. I'm... like frankly terrible at writing in a timely manner or getting stories out quickly. I can't promise it won't be a while between each chapter. Maybe it'll be a week, maybe a month, maybe several months. I'll do it as fast as I can, but motivation is something I'm not good at dealing with, and I'm a slow writer even when I am. I will finish this story, and that's a promise. I just want the expectations to be realistic for how long it'll take.
Last but not least, I can't help but have to give a big shoutout to Firehawk1100 for letting me plagerize their ideas, reviewing through my story as I wrote, and being probably the biggest inspiration and reason I actually got this out in the first place. Thank you for convincing me to actually write this, and giving me so many solid ideas when I got stuck. If you need a fix of Winterwatcher stuff, they're your dealer. Go check em out if you haven't already.
A thick bolt of lightning burned through the night sky, shearing the heavens apart. Moments later, the resounding rumble of thunder echoed over the jagged landscape, rippling through the air. For a moment, the flash of light briefly illuminated the scene. Mountains towered in the background, as if the earth itself was trying to claw the sky. A small lake sat within the valley, deep and opaque. Thick forest was nestled beside the water, rich and dense. And along the shore of the lake, the silhouette of a dragon digging into the ground, fighting against the storm's wrath. And then it was all gone, as the lightning disappeared as fast as it arrived.
The dragon in question was nearly invisible in the darkness, the night quickly enveloping her, blending in with her black-coated scales as she pushed on through the squall. Her wings drooped low, and her tail dragged in the pebble filled mud of the lakeside, leaving a trailing imprint in the dirt. Wind howled around her, dragging waves of raindrops into her face and washing down the star-scattered membrane of her wings. She grimaced as she battled against the gale, water sliding down her slight-beaked snout. Two emerald-green eyes shone in the inky darkness, and just under them, glints of silver teardrop scales twinkled as another crack of lightning tore through the clouds.
The Nightwing had her back towards the looming mountain range, slowly trudging along the lake in the direction of the forest. It was difficult to make out, but in the woods, hazy from the rain, the faint glow of dragon-made light permeated through the foliage. As the dragon slowly realized the soft yellow light in front of her, she curled her talons tighter and hastened her pace.
Growing closer to the forested side of the lake, she began to notice buildings just barely past the trees, and leading right out into the lake, a stone-laid path. Lanterns stood along the cobbled road, hanging from chains under wooden beams, and swinging in the tempest. Beside the beginning of the road stood a large oak sign, carved meticulously in a flowing artistic form. The simplified silhouette of two dragons standing regally was painted into the wood; an Icewing and a Seawing, which crossed horizontally with each other. Beside the two, in a smaller perspective than the duo, stretched a line of various dragons of each tribe, all standing tall with determination and hope. Along the top of the sign, perhaps the most eye-catching of it all, was the word "Sanctuary" written in clean swirling letters.
The Nightwing's talons clacked against the stone as she stepped onto the polished path, standing upon the entrance of the town in front of her. Fresh timber houses lined along the sides of the street, and blurring in the distance through the rain, the outline of an unfinished building sat far down the road. It seemed to take the width of several houses, and already towered above the rest, a large tarp covering its progress. The Nightwing reached to take another step, and then hesitated, her paw trembling slightly. She took a deep breath in, let it out, and then pressed forward with forced resignation on her face.
The thoughts of dragons deep in slumber twinkled against the sides of her mind as she pushed herself down the puddle-littered road. For each house, the dreams of a dragon radiated from within it, each lost inside their own unconscious fantasies. The windows were completely darkened, covered with curtains and devoid of candlelight. All except for one house, further down the road on the left. This house had the warm glow of light seeping through the blinds, and no swirling thoughts of dreams. In fact, there weren't any thoughts coming from this house at all. Just a fuzzy blanket of silence. As the Nightwing approached the building, through another burst of chilling rain, she noticed the soft shadow cast upon the back window in a dragon's form.
Arriving at the doorstep, the Nightwing brought her paw up to knock, and then paused. For a moment she simply looked over the carved wooden door, and then turned her gaze back to the rest of the village, running her eyes down where she had come from. Even despite everything she pushed through, even despite the raging storm that was driving into her scales, at that moment the path back almost seemed preferable to what she was about to do. Perhaps the icicle-like raindrops would be a better alternative to the twisting nervous pit that settled within her stomach as she looked at the door. A shiver ran through her, although whether from the anxiety or the frigid water that ran down her, she knew not. Then she knocked three times, almost hesitantly, as her talons rapped against the wood.
For a brief while, there was nothing, only the sound of the wind cutting through the town and the thumping of her own heart. She didn't know whether to feel disappointed or relieved. But then just as she was beginning to consider stepping away, the sliding of a bolt resounded from the door, and then it swung open. An Icewing stood in front of her, taking up the doorframe. He was young, almost as young as she was, with smooth crystal-like scales that seemed to shimmer in the light of the lantern behind him. Smooth polished spines ran down his back, tapering off into his whip-like Icewing tail. Every inch of his form seemed completely untouched, without a blemish to be found from the tip of his snout to the ends of his wings. A simple silver-wired bracelet wrapped around his left wrist, with a dark stone embedded in the middle of it. And under his blue-black eyes hung dark circles of exhaustion.
"What in Pyrrhia could you possibly…" The Icewing began as he pushed the door open, before trailing away as the backlight hit the Nightwing, exposing her rain-washed form to him from the darkness. All semblance of annoyance and exhaustion was scrubbed clean off his face, replaced with widening eyes and a look of pure disbelief. He blinked, looking up and down the Nightwing, his gaze crossing over her silver scales, and, briefly, resting upon her green eyes. "Stars above…" He breathed out. "This can't be- I don't believe it. Moon? Is that… is that you?"
Moonwatcher nodded in response, and gave him a small, diffident smile at his reaction, feeling the breath dance within her chest. "Hey… Winter."
Winter remembered the last time he had seen Moonwatcher clearly. After being swiftly teleported back to the rolling tundras of his kingdom from the spell, there was a brief period where the aftermath of the Jade Mountain battle had to be handled within the palace first. Winter was already almost certain of the circles' eventual decision on him regarding his actions, but ultimately he decided to stay and face their judgment in the Queen's court. And when the ruling was spoken that he was banished from the Icewing palace indefinitely and all semblance of title was stripped, Winter simply bowed in resignation to Queen Snowfall. He had no reason anymore to fight against them.
Losing his home had hurt, but it still wasn't nearly as much as leaving Moonwatcher had hurt. He had flown right back to the academy after leaving the Ice Kingdom, although even then he knew it was only for formalities. He had spent the days waiting for his trial trying to come up with a plan once he was outside of the Ice Kingdom, and on the flight to the academy he settled upon one of his many ideas. He knew after what had happened that he wouldn't be allowed to attend the academy, and that even if he could, it wouldn't be the wisest of choices anyways.
Having to break the news to his winglet that night tested his unwavering composure to its limits. But perhaps what challenged his emotional fortitude the most was seeing the way that Moon and Qibli stood next to each other, the way they talked, and the small glances each other gave to themselves. He already knew in his mind who Moon had chosen ever since their stay in the old Night Kingdom, but seeing it for himself in front of him felt like an icicle twisting around in his heart. He told them that he would be staying with the Talons of Peace now that he had nowhere else to go, and that he would be safer there than in the academy. They had all promised to stay in contact with each other and try to write to each other as often as possible, and then stayed in the academy one last night as a winglet together. When morning came around, Winter had left. The last thing he remembered of Moonwatcher was her solemn face as she watched him fly away, the same look of softness within her sorrow gaze that he had fallen for when he first saw her.
It had been one of the hardest things Winter had ever done. Even his own emotions tore him in both directions. Watching Moon's expression with the rest of the winglet as he flew off almost made him reconsider his choice, as if his heart was trying to drag him back where it longed to be. But then seeing Qibli beside her, with a wing over her back, watching Winter soar away, only convinced him further that it was the right decision to make. He knew deep down inside that he couldn't live with the cutting blade of being reminded about them every day. Not for the time being at least.
The first month with the Talons of Peace had challenged every part of his identity up to that point with no hesitation. Until then he had lived stoutly by the Icewing persona built by his parents and tribe, and eventually the persona that had slowly crept in with his time alongside Moonwatcher. Now all of that was gone. The Talons of Peace didn't care about his origins, nor did he truly wear his status anymore, and after everything that he had been through, trying to stay regal and proud seemed completely meaningless. And without Moonwatcher around to guide him anymore, well… It took a long while for Winter to find himself again after leaving Jade Mountain, and getting over Moonwatcher was perhaps the longest and hardest process of them all. Even months later, when he and Riptide had founded Sanctuary and Winter started finding something to drive him outside of his previous life, she would still plague his mind some days. He strived as hard as he could to put all his energy towards Sanctuary, but sometimes it was like she'd sneak into his head when he so desperately tried to forget everything about her. He was certain it was a curse.
Apart from Kinkajou, who visited early on and made an effort to check in on him as much as possible, it wasn't until almost half a year that Winter got more than just letters from his old winglet. Eventually Qibli lived up to his promise and came to visit him, bringing Flower and Smolder to check out his progress. Winter wanted to be bitter over Qibli, bitter over his absence and his role with Moon, but ultimately the excitement and motivation from getting to study Flower and hear Smolder's thoughts washed any sourness away. And Winter couldn't help but admit that perhaps even despite Qibli's part in his heartache, he still missed the lighthearted Sandwing, and couldn't stop himself from enjoying his company again.
But Moon? All Winter had heard from her was through letters while she was in school, and the occasional mention from his other clawmates. He knew she was actively avoiding him, and that thought alone clawed into his feelings like his own serrated talons. Winter knew when he left Jade Mountain that he wouldn't see her for a long while, but he never would have guessed that the goodbye he spoke that morning might have been the last. And so it went, for over a year, with no sight of her, where he began to believe she was gone forever. Slowly, very slowly, the thought of Moonwatcher became more of a weekly occurrence than a daily one, and Winter's life drew him more and more into the role of his new town. He knew he never would truly get over Moon, and some days the memories he tried to suppress hit harder than others, but the responsibilities of partially running a town drew him into a new normalcy that he felt content with. Winter began to truly feel like he had finally found his place in life, a place where he had a purpose. He had finally moved on.
That is, until she arrived at his doorstep, a year and a half later, doused in the pouring rain, looking up at him with apprehension.
Countless thoughts and questions whirled around his head as he looked over the Nightwing in front of him, but perhaps the most burning one of them all was why? Winter couldn't even begin to fathom what could drive Moon to fly through the monsoon outside and finally stand face to face with him after a year of absence. And that wasn't even going into the absolute tsunami of emotions that had slapped him square in the face from seeing her again in person. It was an utter mess of conflicting feelings that he wasn't even going to try and sort out at that moment. It felt like both his nightmares and far fantasies had just come true.
"Uhm… May I… May I come in?" Moonwatcher's wavering voice tore Winter from his thoughts, and brought him back to the cold present. Moon looked up at him with almost a tense look on her face, curling her wings in despite the stormy chill, as if she was steading herself for something to come.
Winter blinked, and then shook his head and stepped back. "Er… Of course. Let's get you out of the rain." He said, opening his wing towards his house in what he hoped was a welcoming way. He noticed that Moon's face shifted to one of surprise, almost like she for some reason wasn't expecting what he had said. He felt her emerald eyes trail up and down him, before she hesitantly stepped inside. Then he saw her look over the space she had found herself inside of.
It was a simple living room, with a humble couch along the side wall, and a carved table in the middle. To the left of them was where his rustic kitchen rested, with a simple countertop and makeshift stove. And then in front of them was where Winter's own room sat, and where Winter knew his study branched off from.
"Just… Just make sure you dry yourself off best you can before you come much further. Please." He added. At this she paused for the briefest of moments again, before tilting her head slightly in his direction. Now his confusion only doubled. Am I doing something wrong? I'm being an idiot again aren't I? What stupid thing have I done already? Winter looked around, thinking, before mentally clawing himself. "Oh, right. I'll go grab you something to dry off with." He began to turn around to make towards the kitchen when her voice cut him off.
"Winter, it's…." There was a moment where she didn't speak, as Winter looked back at her with bewilderment, before she continued. "... I'd appreciate that. Thank you."
Winter hesitated, still wondering what her uncertainty was about, before nodding and ducking into the kitchen, grabbing a towel from a shelf in the corner. He unfolded it in his talons, before offering it to Moon, who took it with a grateful look.
As Moonwatcher began to dry herself off with the fabric, Winter shuffled over to the side of the living room. He watched her for a bit, before taking a breath, trying to steady his thoughts. "So, what exactly are you doing here, Moon? Especially during this… this cyclone." He hoped it wasn't as accusatory as he feared it might come out. Although… shouldn't it be? A small part of him whispered. She had cut him out of his life so clearly many moons ago, why should he just welcome her right back in? He flicked his tail, brushing away the idea. He'd sort out his underlying emotions after he knew what was going on. Perhaps there was another reason she had been gone for so long, apart from trying to cut him from her life. He hoped so, at least.
Still, despite his efforts, he noticed Moonwatcher wince slightly as the topic got brought up, her wings settling lower to the ground. "It's… complicated." She got out with a sigh.
"Well I wasn't exactly expecting the explanation to all of this to be simple." Winter pointed out, with a decidedly even voice. "You wouldn't come here if it was. So why now?" Why now after all this time?
Moonwatcher looked at the towel she was holding for a second, hesitating. Then she took a deep breath as she changed her attention to him. "Something happened between me and Qibli." She finally forced herself to say.
This time Winter couldn't help but let his emotions flair up at her admission, sour memories flowing back into his mind. Just like that, all of his suppressed bitterness resurfaced, stronger than ever. "Oh, did he end up being too good for you?" The venom snuck into his voice, lacing through his words before he even had a chance to stop himself. No sooner than he spoke did he realize what he had said. Moonwatcher's expression told him just as much, as she flinched and turned her green gaze away from him, her tail curling inwards close to her.
"Grahh…" Winter put a paw up to his head, pressing into it with a groan. Why am I like this?... It was in that one moment of weakness that Winter was reminded of why exactly it hurt so much. His heart had always ached at the thought of Qibli winning Moon over, but what had really stung was the realization that maybe she made the right choice after all. Qibli was funny, smart, kind, and most importantly, never brought Moon down the way he did. Qibli always made things better. He always made her laugh, always made her comfortable, always gave her happiness. He had never hurt Moon before. Winter though… He remembered every single time he was in this exact same scenario, stabbing at her feelings. He remembered the look she had right now very clearly. That same look that circled all the way around to his first encounter with her. The look that only he'd cause. The same look that made him hate himself.
He exhaled, and lowered his talons, his anger ebbing away. "I'm… I'm sorry Moon. That was…" He tried to keep his eyes on her, but he couldn't bring himself to see her injured face, and looked down at the floor. "... I'm sorry. That was terrible of me to say."
Moonwatcher blinked and looked up at him, surprise briefly flashing in her face. "It's… it's okay." Although even then he could still hear the uncertainty in her voice, as if trying to convince herself of her own words. Still though, his apology seemed to have been unexpected, and he thought he could notice her relax ever so slightly.
Another pause. The soft rumble of thunder washed over them, as the pittering of rain upon the thatched roof filled the room. Winter fidgeted with his claws, before speaking up again. "... What happened?"
Moonwatcher let a breath out, tapping on the ground with her talons. "... I don't know if I want to talk about it yet." She finally said.
Winter pulled his head back slightly, as he felt his thoughts surge within his own mind. Does she not trust me? Does she think it'd be better if I didn't know? He inhaled slowly, and tried to regather himself. "Can I at least have something?"
The Nightwing turned her head to face him again, and Winter could read her own conflicted feelings clear on her muzzle. "Winter I… I just don't know if it's something you can…" She trailed off, her voice as timid and uncertain as the first time he met her.
Winter sighed, his tail swaying as he felt his wings fall ever so slightly. He didn't have it in him to be truly furious at her, he realized. He wanted to be. He wanted to lash out at her, wanted to yell about how she couldn't just jump into his life. But seeing her so small in his presence, hearing her insecurities and her fears because of him, made all of that fade away. He didn't have that fervor in him anymore, not when all his anger at her was diverted towards himself. It was like that first day all over again. This was his chance to amend it.
"Moon, please. I'm not… I'm not going to hurt you." He winced, hating how it was something he even had to say. "I'm sorry. I've had a long day, and I wasn't expecting… this. Look, I just… I just need you to at least realize what I might be feeling right now. Can you at least try to put yourself in my talons? I just want an explanation." He breathed out softly, as the full weight of the night started settling in. "I just want an explanation, Moon…"
There was a silence for a moment, before Moonwatcher nodded and spoke up. "You're right… You deserve as much from me at least, after all of this time." She handed him back the towel she had been holding, which Winter accepted after a bit of hesitation. "Just… Just try not to judge things too harshly yet, please."
Winter dipped his head slightly in affirmation. "I won't." He promised to her as he went over and placed the towel on a rack in the kitchen.
Moonwatcher took a deep breath, tapping her claws against each other, before beginning. "I understand how this probably feels, me showing up like this now, especially despite, well…" She gestured towards the door, where the hissing of rain could be heard through the wood. Winter nodded slightly, but held his peace. Despite his questions, he wasn't about to ruin his chance. "I know you don't like hearing about me and Qibli, but I can't help that that's the reason why I'm here."
Winter raised a paw slightly, stopping her before she went any further. "I didn't mean to say what I said earlier. I was… I wasn't thinking straight. You can talk about him here, I promise." In truth it still hurt every time their relationship got brought up, but Winter knew he just had to accept that they would be together. There was nothing he could do to change that, nor, he tried to convince himself, should he change what made her happy anyways. In the end, her happiness mattered more than his own in his mind. Then a sudden thought flashed in his head, and he grew uneasy. "Qibli… He didn't… He didn't hurt you or anything… right?" He asked hesitantly, worry blossoming in his chest. He couldn't imagine the Sandwing doing such a thing, but then what else could he have done to drive Moon away?
Moonwatcher blinked, before shaking her head quickly. "No no, it wasn't any of that. Qibli may have his issues, but he would still never hurt me, or any of his friends."
Winter let out a sigh of relief, his initial fears put aside, before he cocked his head slightly. "Issues?" He inquired.
The Nightwing fidgeted with her talons more, and nodded. "He didn't hurt me at all, just… We got into an argument."
"Argument of what? What was he arguing about?" Winter asked. It seemed almost as out of character for Qibli to get upset at her, and he couldn't think of any real reason why he would be. What could Qibli be mad at Moon for?
"I was the one to start the argument."
If his assumption of Qibli felt out of character, this revelation from Moonwatcher sounded almost absurd. The only time he ever remembered her even getting remotely angry was at Darkstalker, and perhaps occasionally at himself. Certainly never at Qibli. "What? Arguing about what?"
Moonwatcher paused, seemingly trying to gather her words. "It wasn't about something recent, or a specific event. It's been a problem for a while with him. Our relationship started out great in the beginning. I won't… I won't go into details," And although Winter didn't say anything, he was internally very grateful. "But I guess as it went on he was there less and less. As in, with me. He was away more and more, till I barely saw him throughout the weeks. There's been a lot of instability in the Sand Kingdom recently. Queen Thorn has been struggling a lot with certain groups of Sandwings in the kingdom, and Qibli insists on helping her out as much as possible. You know how Qibli is, he's as proud of being a Sandwing as you are an Icewing."
She couldn't have been further from the truth there. There were so many days Winter woke up wishing he had been born someone else. The more he got to feel the freedom of his life in Sanctuary, the more he despised the memories of his dragonethood shackled down by his tribe. So much vibrance in his life had been ripped away by his tribe's standards and his upbringing, he almost resented his kingdom. He wasn't proud of being an Icewing; he was barely even proud of himself. So many times did that clawing feeling of self-loathing dig into his thoughts and poison his mind. But unlike before, what he was proud of wasn't false pride or a self-inflated ego. He was proud of his growth and what he had done for Sanctuary and the dragons who depended on it. Not for being born into the Icewings by chance, and not just because he happened to be born into royalty. He kept his comments to himself though, and instead asked, "So… You ran away because of that?" It almost sounded silly when he said it out loud.
"In the beginning, I tried to wave it away." She started. "I tried to ignore it, to pretend it wasn't happening. After all, I was still happy when he was there. But as he disappeared longer and longer, for a duty he wasn't obligated to do, it became harder to keep pretending. Whenever I tried to bring it up, he'd shut it down, and… well, I guess I didn't really have it in me to press the matters at the time. Things got… tense as time went on. He'd come back tired and weary, and the time I did have with him felt hollow. So… One day I finally couldn't take it, and confronted him."
"And that's when you came here?" Winter guessed.
The Nightwing hesitated for a moment, before nodding. "Yes. I told him that he was putting his work before me, and that I felt like I was being ignored. 'What happened to us being together?' I asked him. He…" Moonwatcher trailed off, and Winter could see her curling her talons in as she struggled to find her voice again. "He told me that if I didn't like what he was doing, and didn't appreciate how he was trying, that I could just leave. And… In the heat of the moment I… did." She lowered her head, her wings hanging loose at her conclusion.
Winter's mind spun with all the new information, trying to piece it all together in any semblance of order the best he could. In the end though, all he could think to say was a question. "... Why didn't you tell me?" He asked gently. "You, well, you never told me anything about yourself in your letters. Why didn't you reach out for help?"
Moonwatcher shifted on her paws and took a breath. "I was confused on how to feel at the time. I didn't know if it was worth mentioning or not, and I didn't want to bring up our relationship to you. That would have just seemed… harsh."
There was a pause, as neither of them spoke for a moment. And then Winter broke through the silence. He knew it was insensitive of him to say while she was hurting, and he knew he'd probably regret it, but eventually he couldn't keep his own feelings at bay any longer. "Just… you're not the only one who felt like they were being ignored, you know." There wasn't any ferocity in his voice, any selfishness in his words. He just had to get it out, had to toss his own hurt clearly into the air.
At this Moonwatcher looked down, closing her eyes for a moment, obscuring her bright green eyes. "I know." She said quietly, her voice trembling over the words. "I never wanted to leave you for so long, Winter. I never wanted to make you think I forgot about you, because I never did. Just… between finishing my year at the academy, and moving away with Qibli, I didn't have the time. I was too busy to visit you before, and it was hard to get more letters out with how wrapped up I was."
Winter held back a huff. He wasn't going to express it, but it felt like a shallow excuse for not keeping in contact more than she had. Did she really not have the time, or was it just not worth finding for him? Before he could speak up however, she continued.
"That's… That's only part of it though." She began. "I was busy for a lot of the year, yes, and I had more responsibilities after the academy, but in truth…" Moonwatcher trailed off, and for a moment there was a blanket of silence over the room, before she collected herself. "In truth, the reason I didn't visit or write more was, well… I was scared of you, Winter." She admitted softly.
And there it was, his biggest fear, laid out before him in her own words. Every moment with her flashed through his mind, as if reminding him just how much she deserved to say that. Her first day at the academy with him. The time he threatened her for his scavenger. The time he demanded her to prove her innocence. The time he yelled at her when he learnt of her powers. The times he tried to wave her away during their adventures. The time he told her he could never be friends with her before leaving. The time he shouted at her for Darkstalker. The snarls, the disdain, the anger, the loud voices, the violent threats. It all came rushing through in that one instant, lingering like some nightmarish afterimage. This is why he didn't deserve her.
Winter couldn't remember a time in his life where he had ever cried before in front of another dragon. Icewings weren't allowed to cry. Even after his integration into Sanctuary, he found it almost impossible not to shield his emotions away and struggled to warm up past his icy exterior. He wasn't going to cry this time, not in front of Moonwatcher, but it was perhaps the closest he ever came to it, the closest he came to crumbling for good, and finally shedding all of his composure to the core. It felt like he had been hollowed out with those words, struck down by her confession. Winter nodded slowly, tremors running over his wings, as he tried to push through the emotions that sat like a serrated dagger within his throat. "So then, why… why come here now?" He asked, feeling his voice waver slightly.
Moonwatcher looked up, obviously noticing the instability in his words as her expression softened. "After the academy, I didn't keep up with some dragons as much as I wanted to. I didn't know where to find Turtle, nor did I want to go back to Jade Mountain for Kinkajou and the teachers. I could have gone back to the Rainforest but…" She gave an awkward smile. "As much as I love my mom, I just couldn't bring myself to come to her and deal with her endless questions. I didn't know where else to go, but I remembered Tsunami talking about how you and Riptide had set up Sanctuary over by the Claws of the Clouds, and well… a Sanctuary is exactly what I need. It was… on a wing of faith, but I had no other place to go."
Winter simply bobbed his head slightly. "... You came here even though you were scared of me?" Even just saying it out loud felt like a jab to his stomach, and he wished more than ever that those were words that never had to be spoken.
Moonwatcher tapped against the floor briefly, before speaking up. "I know you would never hurt me physically. That's not who you are. It was… everything else I was scared of. What you'd say to me on the front door. What you'd say when you heard what happened. How you'd react. That's what I was scared of."
Winter nodded solemnly, unable to bring himself to speak. He couldn't even defend Moon's fears to himself, much less to her. After everything that happened, he couldn't blame her. What was he even supposed to say? Then Moonwatcher took a breath, and continued. "... You're different though. You've changed, Winter. I don't think you're still the Icewing I remember." She looked up at him, her muzzle relaxing.
Just swallowing felt like shards of glass sliding down his throat, as Winter took in her words. He found himself pulling his tail closer into him, as he opened his maw to speak, before pausing as his voice escaped him for a moment. "I…" It was all too much for him, all in one night. "...I need to be getting some sleep soon. It's late as is. We can talk more tomorrow." Truthfully, on a normal night, Winter would be up for a handful of hours more, working diligently on his studies. But after the emotions thrown around that pressed on him like a mountain, he wanted nothing more than to lay in his bed and sort out his thoughts by himself.
Moonwatcher blinked, before straightening herself up slightly. "Right… Is there… Where should I stay?" She asked hesitantly.
Winter waved a wing over to the place where his makeshift couch sat, just across the room. "I don't have a guest room… I never expected I'd have guests. Right now that's the best I've got. We'll figure something else out tomorrow, when it's not storming outside."
The Nightwing nodded, taking a glance over at the couch he offered. Then she turned her gaze to Winter, beginning to say something. "We can…" Her voice subsided as her emerald eyes settled upon the band around his wrist. She studied the silver-woven bracelet with its glittering black rocks, before commenting slowly, "... You kept your skyfire that I gave you."
Winter had wondered if she would point it out at some point, and when. It was an explanation that he was hoping to avoid in the moment during their reunion, amidst all of the heavy topics already planted in the room. He sighed, and looked down at the bracelet himself for a moment. "I guess I did." He agreed. "I don't know why I did, especially near the end when… when I thought I wouldn't see you again." He noticed Moon's own twitch in her wings, before he continued. "Some days I really was tempted just to throw it in the lake, to try and forget about it all, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. As much as I wish otherwise, I couldn't forget about you fully. I guess it's a reminder for me. I wish I could tell you what it was supposed to specifically remind me of… Even I don't know what it's supposed to represent."
"I see…" Was all that Moonwatcher said at first, and Winter could tell that she was deep in thought, her expression muddled. Then she added, "...It looks good on you. It fits your scales well."
"I… Thank you." Winter shifted on his paws at the unexpected compliment. Does she actually mean that?... Or is it just politeness? "Is there anything else you need before I go?" He asked as he stood up fully, looking over to her one more time.
Moonwatcher glanced around, before shaking her head. "I don't think so. I'll be fine for the night at least. I've slept in far worse."
Winter nodded slightly, as he was reminded of her upbringing alone deep in the Rainforest. "Well, if you do need anything, just let me know." He started heading over to the entrance of his room, his head swimming with revelations of the night, when he was stopped in his doorway.
"Oh, and Winter?"
He paused, and looked back at Moonwatcher, who stood there in the middle of the living room. The Nightwing had her green eyes locked onto his, and Winter couldn't help but take in her features one last time. Her gem-like silver scales, her purple-speckled scales, her ethereal star-drop wings, and most captivating of all, the tender look that always rested in her shimmering eyes. He hated how even now, through the emotions and hurt flowing in his mind, he still found himself entranced by her gaze.
"...Thank you."
Winter bowed his head slightly, feeling a warmth blossom within him ever so slightly, before pushing it down with his thoughts. "After everything that has happened, I owe you this much at least." He replied simply, and then slipped into his room before she had a chance to respond. After the door closed shut behind him, he let out a deep sigh, exhaling as he finally found himself alone once again. He looked around slowly, feeling like a stranger in his own room, before stepping over to the bed with his various pelt blankets. The clattering of rain against his window and the occasional howl of wind echoed within his room, filling his ears.. He knew sleep was going to be a long time coming tonight, if at all. He wasn't going to be getting rest anytime soon. Not with how many feelings were swirling around his head.
Not with all the thoughts of her.
