Hi, all! This is my first foray into FDTD. I started watching it on a whim, fell in love, and felt inspired to write for the first time in literally years. So we have some fluffy humor to start us off. Let me know what you think!

Proofread only by myself, please let me know if you find any errors.


The waitress was staring.

Kate wanted waffles, but the waitress was staring, slack-jawed, at those two fucking idiots squabbling over God knew what this time. She finally cleared her throat, waving her hand around a little bit to get the woman's attention from her spot between Richie and the wall.

"Is… is that normal?" the waitress asked, seeming bewildered. Her eyes bounced back and forth between the brothers as they traded jabs and barbs like she was watching a tennis match.

"Yeah," Kate sighed. "Unfortunately. They bicker like an old married couple all the time. It's just how they communicate."

That got Seth's attention. He paused midway through whatever insult he was going to throw back at Richie to look at her and snap, "Yeah, well, somebody's gotta fight with this moron, because you two fuck like goddamn newlyweds. Jesus Christ."

He leaned back on his side of the booth, looking both smug and disgusted somehow, and slammed his open palm on the table.

Kate instantly reddened from embarrassment and anger in equal measure. "We do not!" she protested.

They collectively ignored the waitress smiling awkwardly and shuffling away after mumbling a quick, "So, I'll just give you guys a minute…"

"Then why is this all I hear from your bedroom and the fuckin' bathroom at all hours, huh?" Seth demanded, before launching into a mortifyingly loud and, worse, accurate imitation of Kate's moaning.

And now the whole restaurant was looking at them. She wanted to melt into the floor.

"Will you cut that out?" Richie barked. "You're humiliating Kate with that, and it's way hotter coming from her anyway."

Seth didn't stop, so Kate cocked her foot back and swung her knee as hard as she could at Seth's shins. The yelp he let out was the most satisfying sound she had ever heard. He narrowed his eyes at her, but she wasn't afraid of him, so she narrowed hers back.

Then she turned to Richie and smacked his broad shoulder. "Thank you for defending me, but that last comment was unnecessary," she hissed.

"But it is," he said, confused. "I like—"

"Richard," Kate warned.

"Is this one of those 'we'll discuss it later' moments?" Richie asked quietly.

"Yes," she confirmed, before giving him another whack. "That's for telling me he couldn't hear me."

Richie just smirked at her, so she gave him a glare. "Who am I to stifle your pleasure, Katie-cakes?" he murmured.

Seth was the one who answered: "My fuckin' brother, Richard."

Kate watched with amusement as Richie's intent blue gaze switched to his brother.

"It never bothered you hearing me fuck before," he said evenly.

"Because it almost never happened, Richard!" Seth shot back. "Besides, it's not… you… it's… Kate…" he struggled to explain. His jaw snapped shut at Richie's laugh, mouth pressed into a thin line. "She's like my baby sister and if it was anyone else doing that to her, I'd kick their ass."

"Doing what—" Richie started to ask, but Kate cut him off before he could finish. Whatever was about to come out of his mouth was going to be wildly inappropriate at best.

"Stop right there. This conversation is over," she declared.

Seth at least looked relieved.

"Now let me out," she ordered Richie. "When the waitress comes back, I want waffles. Blackberry syrup and cranberry juice if they have them."

Richie dutifully slid out of the booth and stood to the side to let her out. She deliberately brushed close to him as she passed, grinning cheekily at the way his eyes darkened on her.

"Sit down, Richard," Seth sighed, also noting how his brother's eyes followed her as she vanished down a hallway.

"But—"

"No," he said sternly, pinching the bridge of his nose. "You don't have to fuck her in every single building we walk into."

"At least I don't try to have quickies during jobs," Richie retorted as he returned to the booth.

"That was one time—"

"Y'all ready to order?"

The waitress had come back, using her most firm tone so that it didn't even really sound like a question, so Seth gritted his teeth together and turned to her, rattling off his order. Richie ordered for Kate before himself, who seemed to be taking an awfully long time in the bathroom.

No sooner had Seth thought it than she appeared, wearing a pout that no one besides him, Richie, or Scott would have been able to detect.

"Somethin' wrong, princess?" he asked mischievously.

"Nothing I want to share with you, asshole," she said, bracing herself for the teasing she knew was coming with a pleased glow warming her insides.

Okay, so maybe they all squabbled with each other. But that was how families showed love, right?

Right.