Past & Present

Prologue Part 2: Barbados

DISCLAIMER: I don't own "Friends" or any of the characters – but Joey can kick my hotel room door shut anytime he wants to.

THE PREMISE: Rachel must choose between her past and her future. Will tragedy be the result?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Here it is, part two of the prologue. You asked for more kisses and romance, and you got it! The hardest working writer in all of fanfics! I am going with a PG-13 rating for this, but it's probably bordering on a soft R. I can't find any guidelines of what constitutes an R rating on ff.net, so if you know more about this than I do and think I need to upgrade the rating, please let me know.

The positive reviews and emails mean everything to me, so keep them coming and I'll keep updating. Thanks!

~*~*~*~*~*~

Rachel felt as if she was falling backwards onto the bed, but Joey was guiding them both to a safe landing. Before she knew it the pillow was securely beneath her head. He had accomplished it all in one motion without interrupting their kiss.

It was really happening. This time she wasn't going to wake up during the best part.

All of her dreams and fantasies could not begin to match this exquisite reality. It wasn't just that his skills and technique were even better than she'd imagined, which was quite a feat - his considerable experience in this area was no secret. But they paled in comparison to how he was making her feel - this sensation of losing herself in him. It was more than physical desires or attraction, more than chemistry or pleasure.

She felt the emotional connection flowing between them like an electrical current. His love for her was showing itself in every kiss, every touch. He held her face in his hands, kissing her with an agonizing slowness. When he whispered her name, she opened her eyes and looked into his, seeing an unspoken promise of love and trust. She could feel her boundaries collapsing, flowing into him like the tide rolling into the ocean just beyond the room.

They knew everything about each other, every detail of each other's daily life, all of the other's secrets, except this, the one thing they had never shared. And yet, this unexplored territory seemed like a familiar and safe place. It felt as natural as breathing, as elemental as the rain falling outside. It was an enticing mixture of both the known and the unknown coming together in one harmonious duet.

Her thoughts began fade as their passions grew more heated and the body overtook the mind. She half-opened her eyes again and saw the hotel room in a shimmering haze, like a mirage on a blazing summer day. Her eyelids fluttered shut again. She could no longer sense anything around her but him. There was no past, no future, no time or space. Everything had ceased to exist except the present moment and the two of them, melded together in this breathless embrace.

Suddenly he broke away from her. She made a small sound of protest as he quickly sat up on the edge of the bed. She reached up, grabbing his arm to pull him back down to her. He resisted, picking his shirt and belt up off the floor.

"Don't stop," she whined. They were both breathing like they'd just run the 100-yard dash. "Come on, we're not done yet." Not even close, she added to herself.

"I can't do this." His voice was blunt. He was buttoning his shirt as if he had no intention of continuing.

His answer shocked her. She was silent as she tried to comprehend what was happening.

"Why do you think you can't you do this?"

He turned to face her. "Because you're not ready."

She let out a groan of frustration. "Oh, God, Joey– I am so ready! You did a thorough job of making me totally ready."

"I don't mean that way." He looked mildly embarrassed and plucked at he bedspread with his hand. "I'm saying, you're not ready to go this far with – with us."

Rachel pulled herself up to sit beside him, resigning herself to this sudden turn of events. As she studied his handsome face she could see that he was genuinely conflicted. Silencing her impatience, she began to stroke his arm slowly.

"I'm ready for us. I don't know exactly what the word "us" is going to mean in our case, but whatever it is, I'm ready."

"That's just it," he answered. "We don't know what this thing between us is right now. I'm not going to do this until you are sure that you want something to happen between us after tonight."

"Can't we figure this out later?"

"No." His voice was firm. "I don't ever want it to be just a one-night stand with you and me."

"If I wasn't sure it was more than a one-nighter, it wouldn't have gone as far as it did."

"Don't you see? This is going to change everything. Not just with us, but with Ross, with everyone. As much as I want to -" his tone was becoming more emphatic – "and believe me, I want to – I think we should wait until we know where this is going. And if you don't stop touching me, I'm going to give in and do it anyway."

"Weren't you feeling something, when we were together? I mean, I've never –"

"Me either," he interrupted.

"That wasn't one-night stand stuff. That was –" she paused, searching for a word to describe the experience and failing. "I don't even know what word to use. That's how different it was from a one-night stand." She shrugged, trying to hide her disappointment. "Or anything else, for that matter."

She stood up and paced a few steps. On some level, she knew he was right, but was something else behind this? An unflattering explanation occurred to her. This is too weird for him because it's me. Or worse - I didn't live up to his expectations.

She covered her eyes with her hands. "Oh my God - You changed your mind, didn't you? Now that we tried this, you don't want to anymore. Was it too weird? Is the way I kiss or - "

"No, no, no." he interrupted. "Rachel, I want you so much. I never wanted anyone as much as I want you right now. You don't know what it took for me to stop. But I have to do what's right for us." He frowned, his eyes pleading for her to understand.

There's that tortured but determined expression again, she noted to herself. "You're probably right," she concluded in a weary voice.

"If you decide that there's a future for us – then, I swear, we will finish what we started. But I've waited for you too long. I can't mess it all up for one night, even for the greatest night of my life." He flashed a shy half-smiled. "It would have been great, you know."

She tilted her head to the side and smiled back at him. "Yeah, I know. That was a pretty amazing beginning, wasn't it?" She sat back down on the bed beside him.

"For the record, there is nothing wrong with the way you kiss," he added.

"You're not so bad yourself." She punched his arm lightly.

"Hey, don't turn into one of those hittin' girlfriends." He caught her hand in his. "It's too hot here for me to wear all my shirts at the same time as protection."

"A hitting girlfriend? You mean like this?" She playfully punched his arm again with her free hand. He caught it deftly with his other hand. He was holding both of her hands and they were sitting dangerously close to each other on the bed.

"Joey," she whispered, "do you realize that you just called me your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I kinda did." He watched her face for clues. "So – are you?"

"You know, I think I kinda am."

Their eyes met. The air between them was virtually humming. Rachel bit her bottom lip, debating about what to do next.

"You're still holding my hands," she said, trying to break the tension.

"I know."

Instantly they were locked onto each other again, kissing with a hunger that defied reason. He was running his fingers through her long hair as she slipped her hands between them to begin unbuttoning his shirt again. Just as swiftly, he forced himself away from her again and stood up.

Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to compose her over-stimulated nerves. When she looked up, Joey was backing slowly towards the door.

"So, I think, uh - I think I'm just gonna go to my room for the night."

"Yeah, ok sweetie." She tried to make her voice sound natural, as if this were like the countless other times they'd said goodnight and gone to their separate rooms.

"Woah, look at the time!" He pointed to the clock. "I better get some shut eye if I want to get up early and dig a hole on the beach tomorrow before we leave."

She stood up and followed him to the door. "Sounds like a plan!"

"See you tomorrow, dude!" He gave her a high-five.

"Back at ya!" She responded with a forced laugh.

"Alright," he said as he backed out of the door.

"You bet," she answered, closing it behind him.

And that's that, she told herself before heaving a massive sigh. She looked around the hotel room for some activity to fill the time until morning. She was sure she wouldn't be able to sleep a wink. She recognized the uncomfortable sensation of being on the verge of tears.

Just then the door was opening again and Joey was walking through it. "Yeah, I forgot to get myself a room earlier so –"

Without waiting for him to finish, she ran into his arms. He lifted her from the floor and spun her around in the air. Both of them were laughing like kids on the first day of summer break. This time, she kicked the door shut.