Past & Present
Chapter 4: New Life
DISCLAIMER: I don't own "Friends" or any of the characters. But little R.J. is mine – sort of.
THE PREMISE: Rachel must choose between her past and her future. Will tragedy be the result?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Finally, Chapter 4. The much-awaited conflict begins in this chapter. This one is longer than any of the others have been. I hope you guys won't mind too much – I had a LOT to set up with this chapter!
Once again, thank you all SO much for the reviews. It keeps me going! The next chapter should be up sometime this week, so please keep reading and reviewing. One more thing I want to make clear: I am not going to make Ross the villain here. His reasons will eventually emerge and I do have a wonderful twist ahead for him. I like Ross and have no desire to bash him. So please bear with me on that point.
Keep reading, keep reviewing, and stay tuned for Chapter 5!
~*~*~*~*~
Ross insisted on dragging Rachel across the hall to hash it out. The minute Monica saw her brother's face with Rachel in tow, clad only in her pajamas and one sock, she decided that a cup of coffee at Central Perk was a great idea and left the two of them alone.
Rachel knew it was going to be unpleasant, but nothing could have prepared her for what happened. It was the worst fight they'd ever had.
"Care to explain that?" Ross asked as Monica shut the door behind her.
Rachel steeled herself against the coming attack.
"Ok. Joey and I were having a little fun. It was perfectly innocent. Please don't make a big deal out this."
"Make a big deal out of it? Because it's so not a "big deal" that my daughter was watching you make out with your boyfriend on the floor. Yeah, you're right Rachel. This is a small deal. A tiny deal." He waved his arms angrily. "It's so tiny, you know, I think I might need a microscope to see it!"
Rachel sighed. "He's not my boyfriend." A pang stabbed through her heart when she heard herself speaking the words of betrayal.
"So? What, then? He's just the guy you're sleeping with?" He folded his arms across his chest and glared at her.
"I don't know what he and I are. We haven't made that decision yet. And it's none of your business whether or not I'm sleeping with him. You lost your right to that information a long time ago."
"What you do in front of my daughter is my business."
"Ross – I'm not doing anything! She's still a baby for, God's sake. We were just playing around and – and things got a little out of hand. We didn't do anything wrong." Her voice dropped. "And if you hadn't been playing tonsil hockey with Charlie in the hotel lobby, none of this would have happened in the first place."
He was taken aback by this revelation. "How do you know about that?"
"Joey saw you." She groaned inwardly, knowing that this line of conversation wasn't going to a good place, but seeing no way to extricate herself without raising the issue of his relationship with Charlie.
"Wait, wait – Joey saw us in the lobby and told you about it?
"Yes he did. Why shouldn't he have told me?"
"Oh, he should have told you. I see it perfectly, from his point of view." He laughed bitterly, looking right through her. "He saw me making out with his ex-girlfriend, so he decided to make out with mine."
"That's not how it happened." Every muscle in her body ached with tension. "You don't understand what happened at all."
"I understand spite better than you think."
"It was not spite." She knew her temper was about to get the better of her, but she no longer cared. "You want the truth, Ross?"
"If you even know what the truth is anymore," he spat.
"All right, well, here's your truth. You know who initiated things between me and Joey? I did. Yeah, that's right. I am the one who told him that I wanted to start things up between us. And you know what he said, Ross? He said he couldn't do it because of you."
Ross sighed and looked out the window, a trace of remorse fighting with anger in his face.
"I tried to talk him into it, and he turned me down. You know what else? He never stopped loving me. But he still put you first, above his own happiness."
He continued to stare out the window in stony silence.
"Then he saw you in the lobby, so happy with Charlie – and he thought since you had found someone, maybe it was finally acceptable for him to be with me. He still worries about you, and Emma, and how everyone else is going to handle it if he and I end up together."
She saw him shove his fists into his pockets, refusing to acknowledge anything she'd said.
"If that's your definition of spite, maybe you need to go back to school, Dr. Geller."
Silence stretched between them like a canyon. His mental wheels were obviously turning at a high speed. She relaxed slightly, hoping his pensive expression meant that she had reached him somehow. Then he turned his eyes to her, contempt blazing from them like an inferno.
"None of this excuses the fact that I walked in on you, sprawled across the rug in your, your – " he gestured to her pajamas, sputtering. "In your skimpy little pajamas, with the guy who I thought was my best friend laying on top of you, shoving his tongue down your throat, while my daughter is right there, watching everything."
"Your jealousy taints everything, doesn't it? You take everything and make it dirty and devious."
He looked at her appraisingly. "If you're already carrying on like this in front of her, what's next? Maybe you'll be teaching her to call him Daddy because that's what you really want." He paused, his face darkening. "To take her away from me and raise her with him."
"My God, listen to yourself! Are you crazy? I would never take her away from you. She loves you, she needs you, she -"
He interrupted her. "But you don't need me." His tone was cold. "And Rachel's needs always come first."
Rachel felt as if she'd been slapped. Tears filled her eyes. "I always knew you could be heartless. But this is low, Ross, even for you." She sat down on the couch and buried her face in her hands.
He laughed bitterly. "This is great. Are you getting Emma involved with Joey to score points with him? Because you know, Rach, he doesn't care." He paused to let his words make their full impact. "When he's tired of sleeping with you, he's going to move on. He won't care if Emma calls him daddy, or if you've messed up your life for him, or anything else. He'll be on to another woman and another bed. He doesn't know how to do anything else."
Rachel was overcome by a seething rage, like a mother tiger out to defend her young.
"You know nothing about Joey and me. Let me remind you - you were the one who went on to another woman's bed after me. You didn't care that you'd messed up my life. You were the one who didn't take responsibility for any of it. So, please, spare me the public service announcement about bad boyfriend behavior."
"That again. We always end up there, don't we?"
"Oh, come on, Ross." She punched a throw pillow with frustration.
"No, no, this needs to be said. No matter how bad you screw up, it doesn't count because, hey, I had a one-night stand nearly a decade ago."
"A one night stand that you still don't understand was wrong!"
He went on as if he hadn't heard her. "That one night excuses everything you've ever done, doesn't it?" His face was turning red. She'd never seen him so furious.
"In fact, you think it excuses everything you ever will do. Including selling out you own child so you can finally get your hands on Joey."
Rachel stood up.
"Get out." She pointed to the door.
"Fine by me," he snarled, slamming the door behind him.
Rachel listened carefully for his footsteps going down the stairs. When she was sure it was safe, she went across the hall to Joey's apartment. He was sitting in the Barcalounger, eating out of one of the takeout cartons. Emma was asleep in her swing, thankfully oblivious to the strife between her parents. In his anger, Ross had stormed off without taking his daughter with him.
"I heard," Joey said flatly.
"How much?" she asked wearily.
"Enough to know he hates me and is never going to be my friend again." He put the carton of food on the floor and rocked the chair slowly.
"You must be really upset to stop eating. It's kinda scaring me." She tried to smile.
He shrugged. "I don't want to mess up your life. It's already complicated enough without adding me into the mix."
She walked over to him and sat down on his lap, resting her head against him. He intertwined his fingers with hers. They were quiet for a moment as she absorbed the peace he always gave her.
"He's wrong, you know." Joey said suddenly.
"About which part?"
"The whole 'sleep with you and leave you when I'm tired of it' part. I mean, yeah, I did stuff like that in the past, but –" he squeezed her hand. "This is different. We're different. I've never had anything like this before. I'm not going anywhere."
She looked up at him, their eyes meeting. "I never had any doubts."
"Good. Don't start having them just because he said a bunch of stupid junk. He's angry and hurting, that's all. He didn't mean it."
"I'm not so sure about that."
"Trust me. I'm a guy, I know these things. Me, he hates. But with you, he's going though a hard time, seeing us together and everything. The Emma thing set him off. He'll get over it. So stop worrying, ok? It's going to be alright." He put a finger under her chin, tilting her face up to his. "Ok?"
She kissed him. "Ok." As she wrapped her arms around him she closed her eyes. He felt like security and safety. For the moment, she was calm again.
~*~*~
Rachel woke to the sound of Emma talking to herself in her crib nearby. She felt sore, as if she were black and blue. Then she remembered her fight with Ross. No wonder I feel bruised, after that verbal beating.
She was tempted to feed Emma and go back to bed for the day.
Emma, sensing her mother stirring, tuned up insistently. Rachel dragged herself out of bed and threw on her robe before picking her daughter up and covering her soft baby face with kisses.
"You want some breakfast?" she asked Emma. "Let's go steal some of Uncle Joey's cereal."
She found Joey already awake, seated at the bar eating Frosted Flakes. He looked unusually sober.
"Morning, sweetie." She kissed his cheek as she passed by him to get Emma's bowl and spoon.
"Did you get any sleep?"
"Not enough," she replied, pouring milk on Emma's cereal. "I plan to avoid him today. Molly is going to have to be our go-between until he calms down."
A quick tap on the door was followed by Monica's face appearing in the opening above the chain. "Can I come in for a sec?"
"Sure," Joey said, reaching across to unfasten the chain on the door.
Monica wasted no time with tact. "Ross told me what happened last night."
"I can't say I'm surprised. Works fast, doesn't he?" Rachel handed Emma over to Joey. "I guess you're here to finish the lecture for him?" She couldn't stop a note of defiance from creeping into her voice.
"Look, he's my brother and I love him. But he totally overreacted to what he saw, or what he thinks he saw." Monica shrugged. "If you guys have feelings for each other and want to see where this - this thing between you is going, none of us should stop you." She glanced from Rachel to Joey and back again. "No matter how weird it is for us."
"Thank you so much," Rachel embraced her friend warmly. "We feel like no one is supporting us with this."
Monica patted Rachel's back. "I'm going to be honest with you. I don't understand it, but I want you both to be happy. If being together is what it takes, then Ross will have to be an adult about it. I only wish you had felt that you could tell me the truth from the beginning." She released Rachel, turning to face both of them. "On that note – Chandler and I want you guys to come over for dinner tonight. Just the four of us."
Joey looked doubtful. "I don't know, Mon. Not sure that we're ready for that."
"But Joey," Rachel intervened, "You said we needed to do 'real world' stuff together and see how it goes before we make any decisions. This is real world stuff. Couples stuff."
"And I'm making my famous chicken parm," Monica added with a smile.
"I'm there." Joey said quickly.
~*~*~
Dinner at Monica's was a success. If Monica and Chandler were uncomfortable with the way Joey and Rachel arrived, hand in hand, they didn't show it. The Bings didn't notice – or pretended not to notice – that their friends sat closer to each other than usual. If they gazed into each other's eyes when passing the breadbasket, or occasionally shared a look that said more than words could convey, Monica and Chandler appeared to be none the wiser.
If Monica was the only one who didn't take a glass of Chianti with dinner, or if she looked pale and more than a little tired, her friends failed to take note of it. Perhaps Monica, carefully guarding the secret growing inside her, was too anxious, too fearful of the outcome of the next day's appointment with her fertility specialist to pay attention to any changes occurring outside of her own body. Maybe Chandler, fearful that this was a false alarm that would bring his wife more heartbreak, was too absorbed in her to see that his best friend was madly in love for the first time.
Pronouncing their first outing as a couple successful, the inhabitants of Joey's apartment went to a movie the next night with Mike and Phoebe. Fortunately, the other couple was too wrapped up in each other to care about the unusual specter of Rachel and Joey holding hands as the lights went down.
"I think we've got this couple thing nailed," Rachel said as she and Joey walked home alone after the movie. She was feeling more positive than she had felt since leaving Barbados. Her two best friends were tolerating her relationship. If they were unable to openly accept it, she was prepared to give them time to get used to the idea. Maybe Ross had inadvertently done them a favor. He'd told everyone that she and Joey were more involved than she'd led them to believe, and spared her the difficulty of telling them herself. It would all blow over soon enough, even with Ross. What more could she ask for? She had a wonderful daughter and Joey's arm was around her as they walked back to their apartment on a beautiful autumn night. Everything seemed right in her world.
"What are you thinking about?" His soft-spoken words interrupted her thoughts.
She looked up at him with a rapt smile. "How happy I am right now."
*~*~*~*
The next night, as Emma played with psuedo-Hugsy on a blanket spread across the living room floor, Rachel set three places on the bar. She was nervously excited about the night to come. Joey's younger sister Dina was coming over for pizza, bring her son Robert Joseph with her. Robert Joseph, or R.J., as he was called, was only a couple of months younger than Emma was. Dina and Rachel had bonded during their pregnancies, and Rachel was looking forward to seeing her again. She felt a twinge of butterflies, wondering how Dina would react to the news about her and Joey. Rachel knew the Tribbiani sisters were as protective of their brother as he was of them. Dina's approval could be an important key to his family accepting her as more than his roommate.
Joey stepped out of his room where he'd been changing clothes. "Pizza here?"
"Not yet, " she answered, watching him. He sat down on the blanket with Emma, absently stacking her alphabet blocks into a tower.
"We need to buy Monica something really nice for helping us out with Ross," he said, sadness edging his words. "If she hadn't volunteered to go pick up Emma at his place, you would have had another thing with him tonight."
Before she could answer, the pizza delivery guy knocked on the door and shouted "pizza" to announce his arrival.
Rachel opened the door with a smile. It was their usual deliverer. "You get prettier every week," he said as he handed her two extra large pizza boxes.
"Thanks – so do you." She smiled flirtatiously as she handed him a check, knowing Joey was more amused than jealous. The pizza guy, tongue tied and flattered, ambled away wordlessly. Rachel closed the door and saw Joey snickering.
"You Green girls got some smooth moves, don't you?"
"Oh, baby," she purred, "you haven't even begun to see my moves yet." Her words had the desired effect of making him both aroused and embarrassed at the same time. Feeling pleased with herself, she placed the pizzas in the oven to stay warm until Dina arrived, then got her checkbook from spot where she'd left it on the bar. Just as she was about to put it back in her purse, she remembered something.
"Joey, I forgot to give you the rent check, didn't I?"
He looked puzzled. "The – what?"
"Hang on, I'll do it right now while I've got my checkbook out." She took a pen out of her purse and began to fill out the check for her half of the monthly rent.
"Woah – Woah – Woah. No rent checks!" He got up from Emma's blanket and marched across the room to where she stood, putting his hand over her checkbook. "All right?"
Rachel stared at him, unsure how to respond. "Why not?" she finally asked, for lack of anything more relevant to say.
"Because. You are my girlfriend, and girlfriends don't pay rent." He spoke the word as if it were a vile curse. "Roommates pay rent, and we are way past roommates."
"But sweetie," she talked slowly, knowing she was entering a delicate area involving his male pride. "Even if we were married, I'd still expect to pay half of our living expenses."
His face lit up with surprise. "Are you saying you want to get married?"
She backtracked rapidly. "I'm saying, relationships are like partnerships, you know? We've always been fifty-fifty in everything. Why should that change now?"
"It has changed. This is not a business deal here. You're my girlfriend, and you're not going to pay me to live here." He flipped her checkbook cover down. "End of story."
Rachel chewed on the end of her pen, choosing her next words carefully. "I've been paying half of the rent ever since I moved in here. It makes it feel like this place is mine, too. Does that make sense?"
"This place is yours whether you pay rent or not. Wherever I live is half yours, always."
"But Joey – whose name is on the lease? I'm pretty sure it's not my name." She tapped the pen on the counter, hoping to avoid an argument with him. The last thing she wanted was for his sister to walk in on them bickering about the rent. "Paying rent is the only thing that makes me feel like I contribute here. I just assumed I'd continue, no matter what happens between us."
"Look, I make more than enough money to afford this place. I could afford a place much better than this, to tell you the truth, but I like it here, so I stay. I don't need your money and I'm not taking it." He stalked past her to the fridge and took out a beer just as Dina, holding R.J., was opening the door. Rachel shoved her checkbook back into her purse, resolving to bring the issue up later.
Greeting Dina with a high pitched squeal, Rachel took R.J. from his mother's arms and pressed her cheek against his. Joey was playfully bear-hugging Dina as she responded with babbled endearments.
Rachel carried R.J. to the Barcalounger and sat down, holding him on her lap. His dark eyes peered curiously at her as she studied his face.
He looks like a miniature Joey, she thought with amazement. The same dark hair, the same coffee colored eyes, the same handsome Italian features, only in smaller proportions. A warm outpouring of maternal love flooded through her as she gazed at Joey's nephew, catching her off guard with its intensity. She realized that, for first time in her life, she was seeing the face of her beloved looking back at her in the form of a baby. That hadn't happened with her daughter. Emma looked exactly like Rachel, with no visible resemblance to Ross. Even Ross had said as much. When looking at Emma, she saw an earlier version of herself. But as she sat there, cradling this tiny replica of the man she was falling in love with, she could see babies who had yet to be born. Her babies. Joey's babies. Something she'd never considered suddenly seemed like an inevitable reality, lingering tantalizingly on the horizon just ahead of her.
Joey and Emma and I. And another baby, someday - together, she thought as she snuggled R.J. closer. Emma shrieked a jealous protest at seeing her mother with another baby. Rachel picked Emma up and sat down again, balancing a baby on each knee. Light-haired, blue eyed Emma on the left and black-haired, brown eyed R.J. on the right. Dina and Joey, hearing Emma's tantrum, turned to Rachel and the babies.
"Isn't that a beautiful picture?" Dina enthused. Her admiration of Rachel bordered on idolatry, and any attention to her son always pleased her.
Joey looked at the only woman he'd ever loved as she held two babies, one a perfect likeness of herself, the other a carbon copy of him. It was everything he'd wanted since the night he fell in love with her and everything he thought he'd never have.
Rachel looked into his eyes from across the room, seeing that he felt everything she was feeling, that the same visions of their future were dancing before his eyes just as they were hers. What did a rent check matter, she asked herself. The bond between her and Joey was about so much more than who paid the rent.
She cuddled both babies closer to her as they looked at each other curiously. Joey slowly let out a sigh, finding no other vent for his emotions.
"Most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he answered, putting his arm around his sister.
~*~*~
"It's just been really hard," Dina said as she picked at her pizza. "Bobby's band isn't doing so good, and he can't help me much financially. Mom watches R.J. as much as she can, but daycare still eats up almost everything I make."
Joey launched into another profane rant against Bobby, causing Dina to look down, shamefaced. Rachel pinched his hand under the bar, signaling him to drop it.
"I know how hard it is, believe me." Rachel reached across and patted Dina's hand comfortingly. "Emma's father helps me out with everything, or I would be spending more than I could afford on daycare too."
Dina's eyebrows formed a straight line as she squirmed uncomfortably on her barstool. Rachel knew that look. It was the exact same expression Joey wore when he was about to ask her something while expecting a "no" answer.
"Joe, I was kinda thinking. If Bobby doesn't start pitching in, I'm not going to be able to pay my rent much longer. I'll have to take R.J. and move in with mom and dad."
Joey took a long sip of his beer before answering. "I'm listening."
"I was wondering - I know Rachel lives here now, but if she decided to – I don't know, maybe get her own place or, or – move back in with Emma's dad – maybe R.J. and I could be your new roommates?"
Joey and Rachel were both speechless. They glanced at each other in shocked silence as Dina sat opposite, timidly waiting for one of them to speak first. Rachel remained quiet. It was Joey's place to decide how much he told his family and when to tell them.
He recovered his powers of speech and reluctantly addressed his sister. "D – you know how much I love you and little R.J. – and you know how much I'd love to live with you guys. But – but you see –" he looked at Rachel, seeking confirmation from her before telling the rest of the story. She nodded her assent. He continued. "You see, Rachel and I – we're –" he stopped, smiling awkwardly as he struggled to find the words. "We're kind of seeing each other."
Dina dropped her pizza onto the plate. "Seeing each other? Like – like –" she stammered.
Joey's eyes drifted to Rachel's face then back to his sister. "I'm in love with Rachel."
"What about you?" Dina asked Rachel, hostility lurking behind her eyes at the thought of anyone, even her idolized Rachel, rejecting her brother's love.
"I'm pretty crazy about him, too." Rachel slipped her hand into Joey's beneath the bar.
"And?" Dina insisted.
"And? What do you mean, 'and'?" Joey answered. "And, we're together."
Dina picked up her slice of pizza and calmly resumed eating. "Bout time," she mused aloud.
Joey and Rachel exchanged speechless looks for the second time. "What is that supposed to mean?" he asked.
Unruffled, Dina refilled her glass with diet soda. "Mom and I have been wondering when you two would finally get around to it." She turned up her glass, sipping her soda as if this were the most mundane conversation in the world.
"You've been talking about this with Mom?" Joey blustered.
Dina shrugged. "Sure. We've all seen it coming." She took another bite of pizza. "For a while now." She beamed at her brother across the bar. "Mom is going to be so happy when I tell her the news."
It was Rachel's turn to stammer confusedly. "How – how – did you see this coming?"
"You're all he talks about when he comes home." Joey looked away from the two women as his sister spoke. "It used to be Ross and Chandler this, Ross and Chandler that. Then you move in with him, and every week it's more about you until you're the only thing we hear about. So one night he comes over for dinner and says that you were going to move out because of the baby coming, but he talked you into staying."
Rachel's eyes misted over at the memory. Dina continued. "It was like, he couldn't go on if you left. And from there it just got worse every week. He was so miserable when you moved back in with Emma's dad. He came over and told us about it. Mom looked at me after he left and said 'When do you think he's going to realize he's in love with her?'"
"You and mom and your crystal ball," Joey said, pretending to sulk.
Dina ignored him. "I asked mom, 'Do you really think he's in love with her?' and mom said, 'Of course he's in love with her, and she's in love with him, or she wouldn't have stayed with him so long in the first place.' We've just been waiting for you two to figure it out." Dina helped herself to more pizza with a self-satisfied smile.
Rachel reached over and pinched Joey's cheek playfully. "If that isn't the sweetest thing I ever heard," she cooed in the baby-talk voice she usually reserved for Emma and small dogs. "You woved me and I woved you and evewyone knew it but us."
"Cut it out," he growled, trying to hide a smile.
Chandler burst through the door without knocking. Seeing Dina, he greeted her politely before continuing.
"You guys come over. Monica has some big news to tell everyone."
Rachel jumped off her barstool. "What is it? Is she ok?"
Chandler's face was shining with happiness. "She's fine. But if I say anything else, she'll kill me. She wants to tell everyone herself." He turned to Dina. "You'll come too, right?"
"Sure," Dina replied in surprise.
Rachel picked up Emma as Joey picked up R.J., and the five of them followed Chandler across the hall.
Ross, Charlie, Phoebe, and Mike were already there, gathered around the table as Monica passed out champagne flutes. Mike popped the cork with a sound like a gunshot and began filling everyone's glasses. Monica put her hand quickly over her glass. "None for me," she said as Chandler took a small bottle of sparkling cider from the fridge and filled Monica's glass from it.
"Why not? This is your big night," Phoebe said.
"I'll tell you why." Monica reached over, taking Chandler's hand in hers before drawing a deep breath and looking slowly at the faces assembled around her - both old friends and new, relatives and babies.
"Because we're pregnant!" she shouted.
A collective gasp went around the room. "When? Are you sure?" they all seemed to ask at once.
"We're sure. The doctor confirmed it yesterday." Chandler said, grinning irrepressibly.
There was a pandemonium of hugging and kissing and congratulating. Rachel squeezed through the crowd to hug her best friend.
"I'm so happy for you!" she said through her tears.
"I know," Monica answered, as her own tears of joy streamed down her face.
"And you," Rachel said, punching Chandler's shoulder. "Good work, sailor!"
Joey broke in to hug Chandler and Rachel stepped away. She wandered over to the balcony alone and stood looking out into the night, pondering how much everything was changing.
But it's all for the better, she realized. For the first time, everyone is with someone and everyone is happy. She watched the scene before her, the people she loved most: Monica and Chandler enjoying their moment of supreme happiness. Mike with his arm wrapped carelessly around Phoebe. Ross holding Emma. Charlie explained the meaning of paleontology to Dina, who was bouncing R.J. on her lap. And Joey, looking at her with all the love she could ever desire so evident in his eyes.
~*~*~
That night after the festivities died down and Dina left, Rachel and Joey took the sleeping Emma up to the roof of their building. The evening had been overwhelming and they both wanted a few minutes to reflect and unwind.
"This week has been something else, huh?" he was standing behind her, with his arms around both her and Emma.
"It's been the happiest week of my life." She looked out across New York City, wondering if there were two people more in love than she and Joey were at that moment.
"If anything else wonderful happens, I won't be able to handle it," she added, laughing as she spoke. She was imagining the beautiful possibilities that life held for all of them, as she and Joey and Emma stood safely ensconced in a world of their own.
~*~*~
The next morning as Rachel prepared to take Emma to Ross' apartment before work, Ross himself suddenly appeared at her door. It was the first time they'd been alone since they'd had that horrible fight.
"Can I come in?" he asked politely.
"Sure," Rachel replied, more than ready to meet him halfway in the effort to make peace. "Joey had an early call on the set this morning." She wanted Ross to know that Joey was gone, hoping that would soften him towards her. "I was just about to drop her off at your place."
"Yeah, Molly is already there, but I wanted to come get her myself." His voice was toneless, devoid of feeling. He sat down on a stool, studying his hands.
Rachel's stomach turned involuntarily. Something was wrong, very wrong. He was too calm, too subdued, while the very air around him was electric. Her mind raced for something to say but came up empty.
"We need to talk," he finally said. Still the same horrible calm, the carefully measured words.
The worst words in the English language, she thought as dread punched itself into her gut.
"What – what about?" she stammered, her imagination reaching to uncover whatever it was that had brought him there that morning.
"I didn't want to get into this last night – it was my sister's big night and I wanted it to be about her and not us, for once." Rachel nodded, reaching into her bag for a melba toast cracker which she handed to Emma.
"I've been thinking about this nonstop, and there's no easy way to say it – so I'm just going to say it."
Rachel froze, her blood turning into ice water. He looked at her as the next words came from his mouth, seemingly in slow motion.
"I've decided to seek custody of Emma."
