Stan spent several minutes praying as men came in to replace everything the first two men hadn't destroyed.

"...and if there seriously is some sort of great omnipotent entity out there, please, please end my suffering..."

The door opened. "Prayers answered," was a discreetly muttered voice.

"This is the place to get jobs?"

"Yes, yes, sit down."

"Where's the chair?"

"Wha - I could swear that there had been one. Oh well. Anyway, I'm Stan. And your name is..."

"Hawkeye, but most go with Hawk."

"Last name?"

"I don't have one."

An eye twitched. "Okay. Well, Mr. Hawk, how would you describe yourself to a potential employer?"

"Well, hmm, lemme see..." There was some pacing around the room. "Flexible. Used to working all hours of the day."

"Oh? What sort of hours did your last job give you?"

"Night hours, mostly. But we were expected to be on call for day jobs."

"What sort of jobs?"

"...Collection agency."

"Care to describe in detail?"

"Er, no, not really."

"Well...why did you leave your job in the first place? Government jobs are pretty secure."

Yeah, maybe in your universe. "I didn't like the security it provided."

"Care to go in-depth?"

"They hold significant others hostage for demonic sacrifices and place you under mind control until they gain ultimate power for their dark lord."

"...I'll put 'work tensions'..."

"Good."

"...I was about to ignore this question, due to my assumption that you had a government job, but now I have to question it...Do you have a criminal past?"

"Why? Don't you do your own checks?"

"Good point."

There was a whirr and a click. Then some beeping.

"Uh, Mr. Hawk...you're from Navarre, right?"

"Maybe."

"Well, it says here that a 'Hawkeye of Navarre' (also running under the name of 'Hawk') is wanted for theft, armed robbery, mischief, assault, first-, second- AND third-degree murder and extortion, not to mention 'death threats to authorities'."

"...Yeah, that might hurt my resume...I'm just going to go now..."

The door slammed as the entrant beat a hasty retreat. Stan took a moment to look around, then blinked.

"I could swear I got new furniture just ten minutes ago..."