Author's Note:  Did I entitle the last chapter, Chapter 6?  What is wrong with me?  O_o  I'm afraid that this is kind of a short chapter… but that means I can spit out the next chapter quicker!  Hopefully in only a few days' time (I know, you must all be wetting your pants right now.  "What?  She's gonna update really soon?  Oh my friggin' Lord!"  I make that a promise to you all. 

Little Red – Holy crap for crap, I got a new reviewer!  I'm really glad you're enjoying the story.  It's good to know that my story's worth being "screwed for work."  lol.  I agree – Lisa payback is so fulfilling to write about, I'd suggest it to everyone.  I love her character, though.  If her and Dave's roles were reversed, I'd have wanted payback on his behalf just as much… but then, I adore Dave, so ya never know.  Ha ha!  I am truly humbled by all of your compliments, and I hope you continue to read, review, and enjoy what I'm writing.  Rock on.

thedtree – All I can say is, kudos back!  After rereading it, I realized that though chapter 8 finally got the story moving, it sacrificed the emotion I had worked into the rest of the chapters (which I think makes a big difference.)  But I agree – I loved putting more emotion into Joe's character.  He doesn't seem to be given much in most fanfictions.  I always loved his character, so I thought, what the hey, let's do something nice with him in my story.  Also, believe it or not, I am really happy you dislike Cecile.  That means I'm doing my job right.  lol.  Bad vibes call for a compelling read.  :D  And someday, I will get you that untainted cookie.

dragon-reborn5 Thanks for reviewing again (and you put more into your review this time!  Make me so proud!)  Yes, I think it was about time for Dave to get his butt back with his loved ones.

Carrie – Like I said to thedtree, I agree about the lack of emotion in chapter 8.  The chapter was deprived (somewhat, but not entirely) of the emotional content I had worked so hard to keep in all of the other chapters in order to get the story moving.  But it was all for good – I was saving the yummy, tender stuff for later (kinda making me hungry…).  'Cause you know what they say, keep your audience waiting, and they'll come back, yearning for more…  But then, I take so long to update, I fear I'm probably losing most of my audience.  I promise, from now, forth, to update promptly so I do not make people mad at me.  lol.  Thanks for the "periodic comment."  And as for Dave's stay in the hospital being only three days – I was only kept for three days, so I figured, why not draw from experience.  O_o

L (or J) – Still not sure exactly who you are, or if the review I got was from you, but hey, I'll answer it anyway.  I am very relieved to say that chapter 8 was free of repetition, though I have to admit that I never realized that I was repeating the same chapter-line basically over and over again until you pointed it out.  For that, I thank you.  Though I'm still a bit confused, I'll keep working on it.  :D  It was very constructive.  I'm afraid to say, though, that from the reviews I received, I think you were the only person who actually enjoyed the faster pace of this chapter, while others missed all the emotion.  So I'm all messed up, kinda perplexed about whether to continue with the faster pace or to return to the old, emotionally-driven tempo.  I guess we'll see what happens, huh?  lol.  But ya know, I felt like I kinda had to explain the t-shirt scene a bit more, because I didn't want it to go over the heads of those who hadn't seen that episode or something.  But then, I usually tend to over-explain myself… like with this review-reply I'm giving you.  So I'll stop now.  ^_^

Meg – Like I said to Carrie, I was only kept for three days, so like the old saying goes, "write what you know."  lol.  I was hoping to solve the emotional aspects chapter 8 was missing in the upcoming chapters, which seemed like a better time to do so.  Because if you think about it, when you just come out of life-or-death situation, do you really wanna be swarmed by people/emotions?  I'd rather lock myself in my room… probably cry a bit… steal my brother's supply of chocolate and scarf it down… maybe play some video games…  lol, I'm rambling again.  More Nancy to come!  Woo!  Anywho, all of things you missed will soon be solved.  Sorry to disappoint you with the last chappie, I'll try harder.  :D

Crystal – Comedy is refreshing, isn't it?  Thanks – I needed some encouragement for the last chapter.  I've been getting mixed reviews on it: some hated it and missed the emotion; some loved it with its quicker pace.  It's hard to please everyone, but I'm trying, ya know?  Thanks a lot for the review; it means a lot.

Savannah – Where've you been, girlie?  I haven't talked to you in quite a while.  How's things?  Aw, you're too nice – I'm just trying to keep this piece "me-esque", ya know?  Oh no, you got to my website?  lol.  I reaaaally need a new layout.  But entertaining, no?  :D   

Lose Yourself

Chapter 9

*~ Syren ~*

* ~ *

Last Chapter:  Matthew's project is well underway, but with a little help.  Jimmy and Lisa have been 'found out' by the New Hampshire crew, and that's all well and good, because Dave's coming 'home' to New Hampshire!  But why is he so silent?  And yes, Joe is showing his softer, cushier side.  Aww.

What to expect in the next chapter:  Much needed Nancy-ness!  Closure?  Who knows!  I know I don't!  And where's Patricia?  I miss her…

*  ~ *

The den was empty when Jimmy finally settled in his favorite chair.  The fireplace was lit, casting a restful glow across the room.  It felt good to be back amidst a comfortable setting, calming his shot nerves.  No, he wasn't worried or anything.  Not since three days ago, when he would have been nerveless, not knowing what the next day would bring.  He thanked the Gods, for the next day brought relief… Though it pained him to know that the very man that wrought furor upon so many wasn't happy.

Since the moment the three of them departed for New Hampshire, Dave hadn't said a word, save for the brief greetings he offered to those who awaited them at Jimmy's cabin.  He was tired; he didn't have to hide it; and so, he retired to the room that had been set up for him, leaving the rest to deal with their confused selves.

Not long after, embarrassed by the sniffling weakness he was showing, Joe set early to his room.  Matthew, ever the curious, had been ready to run up to 'check things out,' but was instead sent to his room to deal with his hell-born cats.  In order to ease her mind, Lisa volunteered to make dinner, and so forth busied herself in the kitchen.

Swirling the burgundy wine in his glass, Mr. James took a sip, grateful for the soothing liquid.  "And that leaves Beth…" Jimmy told himself, knowing that she was standing behind his chair.  He heard her sigh then come into sight, taking a seat on the couch perpendicular to him.  Curling her feet beneath her and resting her chin in her palms, she stared at Jimmy uncomfortably.  Throughout all of the melancholy, she didn't even have a single piece of gum on her.

"He's so different, Mr. James…" she started, shaking her head.  "I mean, he hasn't said more than two words to everyone, but I can tell, you know?"

Jimmy chuckled.  "Jetlag, sweetie."

Frowning, Beth turned the thought over in her mind.  "But you came down here in a helicopter… and it was such a short flight…"

"Okay, okay," Jimmy retaliated, raising his hand in mock surrender.  Pausing a beat, he looked intently at his flute of wine.  "Tell me, have you ever lost something that you held very dear to your heart?"

Taking on a thoughtful expression, Beth bit her lip.  "I did lose this pair of $90 shoes.  Oh, they were my favorite; they had these strappy thingies—"

"Well that's just dandy," Jimmy interrupted.  "Did you ever find them?"

"Hmm… it turned out that my mom accidentally used them as—"

"That's beside the point," he continued, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees.  "Amidst all the events that's taken place in the past few months, Dave has had it quite hard.  He lost so many things.  One, he lost his father…"

Beth gasped.  "Oh my God…"

Jimmy nodded.  "Uh huh.  Heart attack due to Type 1 Diabetes.  Two, he lost us when we moved here.  You can see that that didn't help much at all, did it."  He sighed, taking another swig of his drink.  "Dave knew full well that he wasn't in tip-top shape.  He's not a dumb man, but he is a stubborn one.  But that wouldn't get him down.  Nothing would bring him down; he tried to make the best of the situations, but in reality, all of the awards and successes in the world couldn't bring him up. I hate to admit it, but we left him here.  And for that, he lost a bit of himself that I'm not entirely sure he can get back."

"Are you saying it's our fault, sir?" Beth questioned, resting her head in the crook of her arm.  Jimmy chuckled, shaking his head.

"Of course not.  An illness is never anyone's fault; not ours, not Dave's, not the doctor's; it's something called fate."

Beth smiled.  "You believe in that stuff, Mr. James?"

Matching her grin, Jimmy shrugged.  "Things happen for unknown reasons.  Who are we to judge whether it's real or not?"

Nodding, Beth rose to her feet and stretched.  "I think I'm gonna go on up to my room.  I do believe it's TV time."

Jimmy joined her.  "Sounds like a plan.  Hey, I think 'Friends' is on!"

*  ~ *

"Ouch!" Lisa yanked her arm back in pain, sticking her fingers into her mouth.  Frowning at the hole in one of Jimmy's oven mitts, she threw it on the counter, opting for a rag to hold the hot pan with instead.  Shaking out her hand, she piled rice onto seven plates, followed by rather small pieces of fish and green beans.  Surveying her work, she patted herself on the back.  It wasn't a picture perfect meal, but at least it was edible.  Hey, she hadn't had any time to perfect the recipes.

Breaking out the plastic forks and knives, knowing that later on no one would want to do the dishes, Lisa snagged Jimmy and Beth as they were on their way upstairs, giving them each two plates to bring up for Joe, Matthew and themselves.

"What about you and Dave?" Beth asked, eyeing the food suspiciously, praying it was fit for human consumption.  Taking on an ingenuous expression, Lisa shooed her up the stairs.

"I don't know if he's sleeping, so I'll bring it up to him.  You know, see if he wants company or something…" The redhead cast her a look she couldn't quite place, so she retaliated with a "what?"  Returning the look, she picked up the two remaining plates and followed her upstairs.  "Where's his room?"

Gesturing with one of her plates, Beth pointed out the room at the end of the hallway.  The door was shut, and no light came from the crack between it and the floor.  Waiting for Jimmy and Beth to get out of sight, Lisa continued on down the hall, ignoring the plates' heat against her skin.  Setting one plate on top of the other, she knocked on the door, listening for admission.  When none came, she knocked again and rested her ear against the door.  Still no sound came, so, despite any prudence, she tried the doorknob.  Fortunately it was unlocked, so she pushed it open a crack to peek inside.  As she suspected, Dave lay on his bed and on top of the covers, one arm on his stomach and the other draped across his eyes.  Reluctantly, Lisa backed out, leaving the door open a tad.  When she turned back around, she nearly dropped the plates she was holding.  Beth stood before her, her arms crossed but with a solicitous look on her face.

"Sleeping?" she whispered, taking one of the plates from Lisa's hand, who nodded in return.  Beth smiled.  "You'll get your chance tomorrow."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lisa queried, incredulous.  Beth winked.

"Taking advantage of the weak, now are we?" she giggled, hoping to brighten the drab mood.  Lisa swatted her on the arm in defense while Beth put up her arms in defeat.  "Just… sleep well, okay?"

One of the first genuine smiles crept into Lisa's features as she nodded.  "You too, Beth."

*  ~ *

An hour later, despite her efforts not to do so, Lisa found herself at the sink, washing the plates her friends had so generously cleared.  They had all gone to bed, regardless of the seemingly early hour, and the cabin had grown dark.  It didn't feel like a home to her, not being very cozy, but Lisa was glad for it.    It was nice to get away from her lonely apartment, even if it did mean spending twenty-four hours with her coworkers.  And leaving Matthew to fend for himself in a giant house was like leaving him to deal with his own suicide mission.  If it weren't for Jimmy, the group wouldn't be reunited, save two.  Catharine was in her thoughts - Lisa missed her second WNYX sister.  Bill was always in her prayers, though she knew that every waking moment, he was looking down at them all and laughing.  To make it easier, she would laugh right back at him.  It felt right to laugh when he was in mind, though everyone never really thought he was funny.  In the back of their minds, he'd make them laugh, with all of his eccentricities.  Now, she wished for it, along with his bickering on-air partner, just so that the family would be complete once again.

Setting the last of the dishes in their respective cupboards, Lisa threw the damp towel into the sink, cursing the lack of dishwasher in the giant home.  Drying her hands on her pants, she flipped the switch to the wall sconces and headed up the stairs. 

There were enough rooms to comfortably house a football team, and Lisa was grateful, as was everyone else, she mused, to have her own room.  The second floor was devoted entirely to boarding, keeping each room within close range, but far enough for privacy's sake, of each other.  Hers was between Matthew's and Beth's, Jimmy's being at the head of the long hallway.  Max followed Jimmy, and Joe's was before Matthew's.  At the opposite end of the hall, perpendicular to Beth's, was Dave's room.  The hall proceeded with a long, narrow walkway, which no one was brave enough to follow as of yet.  The walkway led to more rooms, which backed the presently occupied ones.  Jimmy himself hadn't yet explored these rooms; the floor reminded him of that of a hotel's lodging.

At the top of the stairs, Lisa couldn't help but imagine the hospital's hallway, though less comforting than the walls she faced now.  To the left, she saw her room, acting as a safety.  She could go to bed now, and leave her curiosity until the next morning.  But to the right, she saw Dave's room, both foreboding and alluring at the same time.  She had so many questions for him, and it frustrated her that he wouldn't make time to settle some nerves his friends had been dealing with.  She wished she could call him selfish, putting everyone at an arm's length in such a short amount of time, but he truly was altruistic.  Understandably, he was tired.  He had been through a lot…

That didn't stop Lisa.  Without another thought, she was on her way down the hall towards his room, minding her heavy steps to keep from waking the other residents.  She didn't feel the apprehension she felt at the hospital.  Instead, approaching his room seemed like she was getting closer to comfort, to settling her stresses.

"Lisa?"

She almost tripped at Jimmy's voice, spinning on her heel to face him.  He exited the bathroom down the hall that was between Matthew and Joe's rooms, wearing nothing but his robe.  Trying to ignore his attire, Lisa smiled.

"What's up, Jimmy?" she asked, swaying on her feet nonchalantly.  Mr. James smiled, joining her side.

"You, uh, you wouldn't be doing what I think you're doing?" he kidded, putting his hands behind his back.  Lisa feigned a confused expression, gesturing back to Dave's room.

"Well, it's a warm night, so I thought I'd open his window for him.  It can get awfully stuffy…"

Shaking his head, Jimmy turned and headed in the direction of his room.  "Good night Lisa."

"Night, Mr. James," she murmured back, a smug expression on her face.  How could he read her thoughts so easily?

His door was still open a notch like she had left it, and still there was no light from inside.  She thanked the moon, which provided a natural lantern through the large windows that donned each room.  It filtered into the room, creating a much more tranquil atmosphere than it had in the hospital room.  Pushing the door open, she stepped inside, her breath catching in her throat in surprise.

Dave sat on the edge of his bed, his elbows resting on his knees and his face turned to the floor.  His breathing was shallow, but he obviously wasn't sleeping.  Quietly, Lisa shut the door behind her and stepped further inside, hoping to get some sort of reaction from the silent man.  When he didn't look at her, she walked over to the window and lifted its sill, letting the warm breeze drift into the room.  The silence was making her uneasy; it wasn't often that the two had such uncomforting moments between each other. 

"It's nice out tonight," Lisa started, her voice almost unsure.  Meeting his side, she looked down at him, wishing she could lift his face and see what was going on inside his mind.  He had changed more than she had feared to be true, and she could sense his self-pity.  Only, she knew he hadn't any compassion for himself.  It was for everyone else.

The growing silence served only to increase her anger.  She wasn't angry with him entirely, but the situation was what made her so exasperated. 

"Come on Dave, this has got to stop."  Still, he didn't answer.  Lisa began pacing between him and the door, uncertain whether to leave him to his misery or let her irritation get the best of her.  "I know it's hard, but what's happened to you?  At least show some of your old sarcasm, for crying out loud."  Breaking her stride, she turned to him once again.  "For God's sake, what's wrong with you?"

Finally, as though weary of her complaints, Dave moved, rubbing his dry eyes with his hand before looking up at her.  "I… I-I can't feel… I can't feel my legs…"

Biting her lip, Lisa was ultimately at a loss for words.  The doctor's words rushed through her thoughts, and her initial alarm melted away.  Forgetting her anger, she knelt on the floor before him and began rubbing his legs, hoping to get his blood flowing.

"Dr. Cohen said something about this; it's normal for you to lose feeling in your legs once in a while.  It shouldn't be anything to worry about unless it happens too often…"

"Lisa, stop it…" Dave muttered, his head still in his hands.  Ignoring him, Lisa switched to his other leg.

"Really, there's no need to worry.  I swear, you're uptight about so much; you have to open your mind to some consequences.  Things are going to be better, I know it—"

"I said stop it, Lisa," Dave interrupted, his voice finding strength.  He stood, but just as soon as he was on his feet did he stagger beside her, the numbness of his legs rendering him to the floor. 

Lisa was silent.  His breath was heavier than before, as if the wind had been knocked out of him, and he leaned back against the bed, running his hand through his already disheveled hair.  When what seemed like forever ended, he lifted his gaze to meet hers, an empty look in his eyes.  For the moment, nothing seemed suitable for her to say, so she simply returned his wounded stare.  She had missed those blue eyes so much.

Faltering, Lisa drew him into his arms, her eyes wetting at how he shuddered.  Her hands went to his hair and rubbed his back, and like in the hospital, she only felt relief when his hand rested on her shoulder.  Her search for words was forgotten, for they weren't needed.

*  ~ *

Author's Ending Note:  I've got a question for you readers…  please be gentle!  My beta reader says that, when I'm writing seriously, my wording is a bit stiff.  Now, in my own defense, English is my second language, so believe it or not, it's harder for me to write casually (like in review replies) than to write seriously.  Anywho (by the way, I think "anywho" is a genius word.  Thank you Phil Hartman/Bill McNeil!), let me know what you think… if you feel like it.  :D